Prysznic kobiety:

Zdejmij ubranie i włóż je do odpowiedniego kosza na brudy (białe/kolorowe).
Przejdź w płaszczu kąpielowym do łazienki. Jeśli spotkasz po drodze swojego męża, zakryj nerwowym gestem każdy centymetr ciała i biegnij jak najszybciej!
Spójrz na swoje odbicie w lustrze i wypnij brzuch najmocniej jak możesz. Poskarż się teraz, że masz duży brzuch.
Wejdź pod prysznic. Poszukaj myjki do twarzy, myjki do rak, myjki do nóg, gąbki do reszty ciała i pumeksu.
Umyj włosy po raz pierwszy szamponem "4 w 1" z 83 witaminami.
Umyj włosy jeszcze raz po raz pierwszy szamponem "4 w 1" z 83 witaminami.
Użyj odżywki do włosów z dodatkiem oleju jojoba i suszonych bobrowych genitaliów. Zostaw odżywkę we włosach przez 15 minut.
Wetrzyj w twarz maseczkę z jajek, zmieszanych z miąższem z moreli. Wcieraj przez 10 minut, aż poczujesz, że twoja skora jest podrażniona.
Zmyj odżywkę do włosów. Zmywaj ją przynajmniej 15 minut, żeby mieć pewność, że twoje włosy są dobrze wypłukane.
Wydepiluj pachy i nogi. Nie zapomnij o "okolicach bikini", do tego wybierz jednak wosk.
Krzycz najgłośniej jak potrafisz, gdy twój mąż uruchomi spłuczkę lub odkręci gdzieś wodę.
Zakręć kurek pod prysznicem.
Osusz wszystkie mokre miejsca pod prysznicem za pomocą gąbki. Spryskaj uszczelki przy brodziku sprayem przeciwgrzybicznym.
Wyjdź spod prysznica. Osusz się ręcznikiem kąpielowym o powierzchni bilbordu. Włosy zawiń w drugi ręcznik.
Zbadaj każdy kawałek ciała, czy nie ma na nim pryszczy. Jeśli są, wyduś je paznokciami lub przy pomocy pincety.
Wróć do pokoju szczelnie owinąwszy się płaszczem kąpielowym i z ręcznikiem na głowie.
Jeśli spotkasz po drodze swojego męża, zakryj nerwowym gestem każdy centymetr ciała i biegnij jak najszybciej do pokoju, gdzie spędzisz następne 2 godziny ubierając się w świeże ubranie.

Prysznic mężczyzny:

Usiądź na łóżku, zdejmij ubranie i rzuć to wszystko na kupę.
Przejdź golusieńki do łazienki. Jeśli spotkasz po drodze swoją żonę, nie zapomnij w zachęcający sposób poruszać miednicą, żeby pokazać jej, jak dumny jesteś z tego, co masz miedzy nogami.
Obserwuj swoją zniewalającą męską sylwetkę w lustrze i wciągnij brzuch, aby sprawdzić, czy masz na nim mięśnie (oczywiście, że nie masz). Podziwiaj rozmiar swojego penisa, podrap się po genitaliach i ostatni raz wciągnij swój ostry męski zapach, podtykając sobie palce pod nos.
Wejdź pod prysznic.
Nie szukaj myjki (i tak nie używasz).
Umyj twarz.
Umyj się pod pachami.
Pierdnij z całej siły i rozkoszuj się wspaniałą akustyką kabiny.
Umyj sobie genitalia i ich okolice, zostaw przy okazji na mydle trochę włosów łonowych.
Umyj sobie tyłek.
Weź jakiś szampon i umyj włosy.
Odsuń zasłonę i spójrz na swoje odbicie w lustrze z wyszczerzonymi zębami i z pokryta pianą głową. Zasuń zasłonę ale tylko do połowy.
Nie zapomnij się wysikać.
Krótkie płukanie.
Wyjdź spod prysznica. Nie zwracaj uwagi na wodę, która rozlała się na podłodze, bo nie zasunąłeś zasłony pod prysznicem do końca.
Wytrzyj się szybko. Oczywiście zasłona prysznica ocieka woda na podłogę, nie do brodzika.
Spójrz na siebie w lustrze. Napnij mięśnie, wciągnij brzuch, podziwiaj nadzwyczajny rozmiar swojego penisa.
Nie spłukuj po sobie brodzika.
Zostaw za sobą włączone ogrzewanie i światło.
Przejdź powoli, odziany jedynie w ręcznik na biodrach, do kupy twoich rzeczy w pokoju. Jeśli spotkasz po drodze swoja żonę, rozchyl ręcznik i pokaz jej z eleganckim rzutem bioder penisa, dodając: "Wow, widziałaś TO?"
Rzuć mokry ręcznik na łóżko.
W ciągu 2 minut załóż na siebie stare ubranie.
























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