LAMENTATIONS
of the
GINGERBREAD PRINCESS
Lamentations
of the
Gingerbread
Princess
by: Zzarchov Kowolski
For Levels 1-4
2
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Zzarchov Kowolski
The Exiled Halflings
King Connolly IV (really more of a minor lord) ruled over a small fiefdom of several thousand,
his knights barely numbering two dozen. It was a fairly boring and mundane farming community
with a small side industry in timber. There was also a fairly large halfling community (several
hundred) under his rule. But the townsfolk accused them of thievery, foul practices, and curdling
goat milk. Of course far more importantly, King Connolly found their beady little eyes unattractive
so he called a pogrom to burn their holes and drive them from their apple orchards. They fled as
refugees into the great forest to the north.
Later King Connolly realised their apple brandy and other luxury goods made up a good
portion of his revenues. As his own inbred peasants were far too daft and unskilled to take over the
orchard he has promised a reward of 1000 pieces of silver to any who can bring back the halflings to
work their orchards and pay their taxes. If that alone is insufficient, the pogrom did not succeed in
keeping them from escaping with the vast majority of their valuables.
The Trail through the Forest
Several hundred refugees with wagons moving through a forest leave a fairly obvious trail to
follow. The destruction caused by such a migration can easily be followed for a day and a half into
the woods. These woods have not been properly patrolled or cleared of ill-doers in the ten years
since King Connolly III died. The forest seems to have an almost palpable conciousness of its own.
The sound of the wind blowing the trees is actually their conspiratorial whispering to the Dark
Heart of the Woods who rails in nigh impotent fury at these beings of law and civilization which
dare trespass in its forest.
Random Encounters
Roll one random encounter for every twelve hours of travel in these woods. The
forest is listening and senses the very auras of the player characters and their
lackeys, so random might be the wrong word. The forest is hunting them. Roll 3d6
during the day and a d20 at night to see what beings appear. Furthermore, the Dark
Heart of the Woods does not like beings of Law in its forest. Subtract one from the
roll for each Lawful character and one per level per Cleric in the party. The Dark
Heart of the Woods can be placated by its faerie minions; however, add one for
each Chaotic character and one per level per Elf in the party. If you use something
other than an elf in your game which is otherwise mechanically the same, it does
not gain this bonus. This is the domain of the faerie courts and any elf poser be
straight trippin yo.
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Lamentations of the Gingerbread Princess
-5 or less: The Dark Heart of the Woods raises enough anger
to animate one of its dark avatars and assault the party.
-1 to -4: Faerie Knight and Retinue
0: The Black Hound
1: Ole One Eye A giant bear
2: Elven Raiders
3-4: Bandits with druidic ties
5-8: An angry wild boar
9-12: Poachers
13-16: All is quiet
17-18: A feral horse
19: A trio of sorceresses
20: Talking Owl
21: Friendly Pixies
22-24: The Great Green Cat
25+: The White Stag appears
The Abandoned Camp
Wagons are left abandoned with their cargo still packed. Iron pots are still sitting on the
overgrown remains of campfires. Tents are ripped to shreds. The trail seems to end here, but it looks
like many people abruptly walked off to the east based on evidence left behind (broken branches).
To the west can be seen a flickering green glow through the trees. Heading west leads to the faerie
circle, to the east leads to the mysterious hedge.
The Faerie Circle
A grove of thorn bushes grow around a circle of stones and multi-coloured mushrooms. Their
branches seem to weave together to form an arch over the center of the stone circle. Approaching
closer one can see that inside is a small green pixie who appears to be ranting a drunken diatribe and
periodically exploding leaves from the bushes in flashes of green light. She is insulting and hostile
in speech, but not immediatly violent. Intruders can easily leave (to screams of, You better run! )
or attempt to ply her with further alcohol to hear her ranting story. She can drink as much as a
human. Not as much as a human her size, as much as a human. It s magic, a wizard literally did it,
move on.
If the players can get her blind drunk she will explain fully about the fact that the mysterious
hedge grants wishes and that she missed her shot when some damn kid made a wish and lured the
whole village with her. Except she uses more racist slurs to convey the meaning. Most of them don t
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even apply, but she still uses them. She will also vomit up pixie dust. Any characters who throw
this pixie vomit on themselves can fly 20 per round for a random number of rounds. At the start
of every round the Referee should roll a d12 out in the open and not say why. If a 12 is rolled the
spell wears off immediatly. If any characters ask for mushrooms after they start drinking with her
they should make a Charisma check. A success results in mushrooms, a failure results in the pixie
demanding they perform a nearly impossible sex act and leave. The local name for the sex act is
the Gnarled Rowan Root, which should make the mechanics involved clearly obvious to the gentle
reader.
Mushroom Mutations
If a character eats a mushroom, roll 1d12 , 1d8, and 1d6 and consult the
following chart. The d8 is used if a limb is ever specified while the d6 is an
additional randomizer.
1 = Skin, 2 = Left Leg, 3= Right Leg, 4= Left Arm, 5= Right Arm, 6 = Torso, 7 = Tail
or Posterior, 8 = Head.
1. A random limb becomes the most iconic part of the first animal the player
thinks of in the next 2 seconds. If they think of nothing the limb disappears. If they
randomly quiz why they are naming an animal, their thoughts are too jumbled. The
limb becomes a mangled unrecognizable and non-functional mess that causes
constant agony for the next week until the characters gets used to it. Later they can
be a model for Picasso.
2. Hair becomes the colour on the rainbow equal to the d8 result with 8 being all
the colours of the rainbow (assume red is 1).
3. The individual grows the d6 result extra random limb(s). On a 1 (on the d8)
they grow horns instead, while on a 7, the absense of a tail results in the growth of
tails.
4. A random limb swells the d6 result times its normal size.
5. The character becomes colourblind (1-3 on the d6) or sees everything in
brilliant technicolour (4-6).
6. The character drops all equipment and turns into a self-sized dragon. This
lasts until their first combat when they turn back to normal on a 1-5 (on the d6), or
until they eat meat on a 6.
7. The character becomes invisible. This secretly ends whenever the roll of the
d6 is the result on any die the player rolls.
8. If the character claps, all intelligent beings must make a save versus Magic or
also clap. The character can do this until the next full moon.
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Lamentations of the Gingerbread Princess
9. A random limb is covered in a thick layer of fur.
10. The character grows tiny wings that let them fly the result of the d6 in feet per
round.
11. The character turns into an Elf of the same level. They retain the same
memories. Their alignment is Chaotic until this effect ends. They continue to
advance at their old XP rate.
12. The character trips balls.
The effects of the mushrooms end immediatly if a Cleric ever casts Bless or Turn
Undead upon the character. Mutations and changes are instantly reverted.
The Mysterious Hedge
This appears to be a hedge cube some 10 by 10 centered around a bronze statue of a smiling,
vaguely apish humanoid. At night the flicker of candlelight can be seen filtering through the hedge.
There does appear to be a path to crawl under the hedge that looks like it has seen heavy traffic.
Should the players crawl under the hedge they will find themselves in the land of milk and honey.
Welcome to the Land of Milk and Honey.
Crawling through the hedge will reveal a vast field of fake paper grass as far as the eye can see.
Looking back appears to be an endless hedge as far as the eye can see. It appears to be impossible for
anyone to crawl back through the other way. Welcome to the box canyon.
The only noticeable features appear to be two oddly coloured rivers (one is in fact milk and
the other honey) which merge and section a piece of land into a small island covered with the faint
outlines of buildings surrounding a large tower. It looks like there is a windmill on this side of the
river as well. Individuals must cross the lone bridge or swim the river of milk if they don t want
to wander endlessly on paper grass, or dig into the hard packed brown sugar soil as they avoid the
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delicious sugary beverages which periodically rain from the sky every few weeks.
The Windmill
The windmill is a large gingerbread structure with its door open. The arms of the windmill
appear to be made of large wafer cookies. These cookies could easily be turned into a raft. The
grindstone itself appears to be two giant chocolate chip cookies spinning on candy candle axles.
Several bags of white sugar are piled up in the corner. There is also a rotting halfling corpse, which
looks like it has been dead for several weeks. He chewed his own wrists open.
The Bridge
The bridge spanning the river of milk appears to be similar in design to a rope suspension
bridge except it is built out of four giant candy canes, biscotti and licorice. It is thus safe from
collapse because who wants to chew through black licorice? Blarg. The bridge is always guarded by
two halfling sized teddy bears with pots on their heads holding pot lids and kichen utensils, such as
ladles or barbecue forks.
The Gingerbread Village
There are dozens of gingerbread houses and halls, with lots of icing and gumdrops. They are
surrounding a giant white tower that overlooks the town square. In the town square appears to
be a giant peppermint stick. The village is patrolled by teddy bears, purple poodles and flying
cupids who check up on the halfling villagers (who are always smiling). The halfings look grossly
overweight and in ill health; many have their teeth falling out. There are probably a hundred or so
halflings milling about but no children. If any players talk to the halflings they will stress how happy
they are. If they ask if the halfings are really and truly happy the player should make a Charisma
check. If they succeed the halfling will break down and scream in angquish about how much they
hate it and how they can t take it anymore. If the players stay hidden or don t ask, there is a 1 in 12
chance that a halfling will have a similar spontaneous break down any given hour they are awake.
When that happens the other halflings will clear the area around the freakout. Teddy bears will rush
over to restrain the halfling while cupids will fly down to exclaim, Uh oh! Someone has a case of
the grumpies! You know what that means! We get to have a maypole dance! Yay!
The Mandatory Maypole Dance
Everyone will mill out to the town square while the cupids lift the struggling and cursing
halfling up high. Other cupids will unscrew the top of the peppermint stick revealing a sharpened
point. The halfing will be lowered onto the spike with its hands now bound by licorice (See? Foul
stuff.). Its own weight will be slowly driving the spike through its innards in a shower of blood. The
cupids will then slice the belly of the poor halfling and draw out a line of intestines to the crowd
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Lamentations of the Gingerbread Princess
below. Chanting happy songs and smiling their mandatory smiles, the halflings drag the victim s
innards around the peppermint stick to the wailing screams of the victim. One or two related
halflings may fall to their knees and weep; they will be shot with little heart shaped arrows by the
cupids, slaying them. The cupids will remark about how, Happiness is mandatory, silly heads!
Due to their supernatural skill with such torture, the poor victim may live for as long as a half hour
in this manner. All of the halflings die a little more inside each time this happens. Except for the
one, he dies completely from the inside out.
The Perfect Poodles
There is a pack of five purple furred poodles in a traditional french poodle cut. They are
snarling beasts that fight as warhounds, and their bark has the power of Turning Undead save that
it can also be used on supernatural creatures of Law. They are usually unleashed only to catch those
who attempt to flee the town, or to supress any sort of riot that may occur.
Purple Poodle Pack: 2 Hit Dice, Armor as leather, 2d4 damage, average morale, twice as fast as an
unencumbered man.
The Cupids
These flying imps patrol the village and occasionally lead the hunts after those people who
try to escape. They slowly fly around with their bows and magic heart tipped arrows. Each carries
12 arrows which give a +1 to hit and force a saving throw versus Magic if an individual is struck.
Failure indicates they will fall romantically in love with the next being they see. The spell will not
end until after consumation. Try to avoid looking at your horse.
Cupids: 1d4 hp, Armor as unarmoured, d4+1 damage with arrows, poor morale, fly as fast as a
heavily encumbered man.
The Teddy Bear Patrol
These diminutive little fuckers are demon infused nightmare fuel. They trop around as little
hafling sized teddy bears adorned with basic kitchen wear. They are immune to blunt weapons and
only take 1 point of damage from piercing weapons. Fire will destroy them utterly. There are 40
maintaining order at the moment.
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Teddy Bear Poh-wees: 1 Hit Die, Armor as leather with shield, d4 damage with weapon, superb
morale.
The Ivory Tower
The white tower is actually ivory. As in it is literally built from bricks of carved ivory. The only
ground entrance is through a pinkish glass door adorend with gold carvings of roses. The door is
barred from the inside. There is also a balcony 60 feet up that an enterprising Specialist might be
able to reach.
The glass of the door is magical and counts as magical object if used to attack someone with
it (such as loading fragments in a blunderbuss). It also has the effect of making anything viewed
through it appear wonderful and fantastic. Do not look through the glass with one eye but not the
other; there could be disastrous results.
The Ground Floor
The main floor consists of a fine silver and crystalware set on a giant table covered with tea
and cookies. There is a spiral starcase on the wall of the tower leading to the upper floors. It has
no railing and anyone struck on the staircase must make an dexterity check or fall off to the floor
below. There is a giant crystal chandelier suspended by a silver chain to the floor of the upper level.
The set could be rolled into the table cloth and carried as an oversized item. The set would be worth
4000sp if handled carefully to avoid breaking the crystal. If handled roughly the silverware portion
would be worth 500sp.
There is also Buttons, an 8 6 tall teddy bear with button eyes and several patches sewn into
him. Buttons has the same immunities as other teddy bears but is unimaginaly strong and vicious.
Anyone staring in the eyes of buttons must make a saving throw or be paralyzed with visions of
themselves being tormented in a land of fire and brimstone.
Buttons: 4 Hit Dice, Armor as leather, d8 damage, superb morale.
The Upper Chambers
The upper chamber is an X-shaped hallway with 4 rooms and an exit to the balcony overlooking the
town square.
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Lamentations of the Gingerbread Princess
The Fairey Princess
This room is the usual stomping ground of the Fairey Princess in her sparkling ball gown and
glimmering Tiara. It contains a giant four-poster bed, her vanity (full of costume jewelry and her
diary/spellbook) and a wardrobe full of additional silk dresses. She gingerly floats about, slowly
flapping her wings behind her back. If there is a disturbance she may be on the balcony. She is a
5th level Magic-User and carries a Wand of Rainbow Bolt with 4 charges. Her costume jewelry is
worth either 10sp if sold to a jeweller or 5000sp if sold to a poor schmuck. While it is just costume
jewelry, it is very convincing and only a jeweler would be able to tell.
Fairey Princess: 14 hp, unarmoured.
Spells: 1st: Charm Person, Faerie Fire, Feather Fall
2nd: Gingerbread Curse*, Cookie to Flesh*
3rd: Fireworks*
* new spells.
The Idol s Void
Opening this door reveals an endless intergalactic void, though there is air and heat. Somehow.
Look, a wizard literally did it so just go with it. The idol is about 15 away from the door. It is the
same statue from the hedge, and the players can see it holds 16 candles in its cradled arms, and
all but 2 are extinguished. Blowing out the candles will allow a wish. Tugging on the idol will not
budge it under normal human power. However if ingenious means are used to cause massive force,
the idol will shake and cause massive earthquakes in the land of milk and honey, possibly collapsing
the tower (1-2 on 1d6) and almost certainly any gingerbread structure (5/6th of the town, as well as
potentially the windmill and bridge on a 1-5 each on 1d6).
The Library of Wishes
This small room contains a chalkboard with erased writing on it that might be able to be made
out. It also contains several books of repeated text. These are past wishes people have made. Things
are written along the lines of I wish for great strength in one handwriting style followed by a
distinctive second style adding words like in my convictions. Other wishes have different writing
for the first portion, but the same distinctive handwriting for the second.
I wish for gold that s stolen
I wish for omnipotence and impotence
I wish the last wish had never happened, to me at least
I wish to rule China as a madman
I wish to crush my enemies in pitched battle, but still lose the war
The last wish states
I wish my people to be happy as long as I live, or else
Feel free to make up your own wishes; hundreds have been written on the board. But no wish
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has more than 12 words in the original handwriting (including I wish ) and none of the second
handwriting has more than half as many words as the first portion (round up).
The Poor Girl
Sitting on her own four poster bed, propped up on pillows and kept under a constant dose of
drugs to keep her asleep and docile, is the girl who made the wish. She is guarded by 1d6 animated
toys at any given point, such as rocking chairs, jack in the boxes, dolls with straight razors or the
like.
Given her wish (see above) it may be grisly to end this curse. No one but the girl can leave this
area once they have set foot in it (probably). Several different options are below. You can either pick
an option based on comfort level of your group or roll randomly before the adventure begins.
1. (the HeroicTM option) Killing the Fairey Princess will end the wish. Get cracking!
2. (The Opportunist option) Making another wish ends this one! Get to that idol!
3. (The Dark Bargain) As the next option, but Mistysparkles also has the power to open a portal
and leave. He chooses to stay. He will let everyone escape, but he demands a bargain: The players
must burn King Connolly s castle and town to the ground in 40 days or he will own their souls.
He will let the player characters (and only them) leave if they kill one of their own as an offering
to him. They must vote upon who will be sacrificed. Henchmen without levels comparable to the
player characters cannot be selected. Level 0 henchmen can never be selected. He doesn t want shitty
offerings.
4. (The Grim option) Well the wish says they are stuck being happy until the day she dies. The
players can either kill her (and end the wish) or help her escape and be doomed with the villagers
until she dies of natural causes. She is 8.
Toys: 1 Hit point, Armor as chain with shield, d2 damage, unbreakable morale.
The Wish Ends
Upon the end of the wish, this altered reality will collapse fairly quickly into a swirling mass
of colours before dumping the players and any surviving folks (except for Mistysparkles) back into
the real world. Anything the players have looted that they do not have on their person is lost back
into the aether.
Mistysparkles, Clip Clopping Lord of the Dark Fae
Mistysparkles deserves a mention. This creature is not part of the wish, but rather a powerful
faerie lord who came to investigate and liked what he saw. Although even he cannot leave through
the normal method, he is powerful enough to create portals into the worlds between worlds and
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re-enter realities at points of his choosing.
He has chosen the form to fit his surroundings: He is a pastel blue unicorn with pink pegasus
wings. He is quite sadistic and loves to see others tormented. He can however be bargained with, as
long as more suffering is caused. Players may be able to threaten him, but only if they are far higher
level than this adventure is intended for (or very lucky, or in possession of some horrendous item).
Mistysparkles: 13 Hit Dice, Armor as plate, d12+5 damage with horn or 2 attacks at d6+1 with
hooves, superb morale, runs five times as fast as an unencumbered man, flies twice as fast. Casts spells as a
13th level Elf, selecting spells as needed.
Your Turn
After the wish ends, the players can easily reach the idol and see that it has two still-burning
candles on its arm. A character may blow out a candle and make a wish. The idol will broadcast into
their minds the rules of his bargain. They may make a wish with up to twelve words (starting with
I wish ) and the trickster in the idol will add on up to half as many again to (in his words), make
the wish more interesting. It is not malice that drives the idol but rather pure mischief, gleefully
smashing hubris and irony. But I am sure the players don t mind, I mean? How could their wish go
as bad as this one did? Think of what they could gain!
References:
Forest Encounters:
Dark Avatar
The Dark Heart of the Woods may once have been called a god, but its power is but a faint
shadow of its past influence on the region. Should it be enraged enough it may still attempt to flail
in rage at interlopers. It could inhabit the bodies of the thirteen first trees of the forest and go on
a rampage of physical fury, but only seven of the original trees are left: Pine, Oak, Rowan, Birch,
Willow, Ash and Apple. The Tree will become supernaturally mobile, its roots crawling along
the ground like tendrils while its branches can be used to pummel mercilessly. A grotesque and
screaming face will appear in the trunk of the tree. Whenever a cleric spell is cast in the presence
of the Dark Avatar, roll a d4. If the result of the die is greater than the spell s level it is dissipated
without effect (though it is still lost from memory).
Dark Avatar 20 Hit Dice, Armor as plate, d6 attacks each round dealing d20 damage. Requires
fire, iron or magical weapons to harm. Moves as an unencumbered man.
Faerie Knight and Retinue
Although the power and glory of the faerie courts has long since been broken, many knights
and nobles still exist. Though they no longer have peasantry to command they still act like they do.
Any Faerie Knights encountered will be out on a hunt and consider the player characters perfect
sport. The Faerie Knight will be mounted on a great elk steed and clad in wooden plate, a cape
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of leaves billowing behind him or her. The knight will have a shield, wooden lance and a crystal
sword with a bramble hilt. The retinue will be 2d6 animal men armed with wooden truncheons and
manleather armour. Stoats, eels, frogs and crows are most common, though wolves, boars and other
beasts are not unheard of.
Faerie Knight: 5 Hit Dice, Armor as plate with shield, damage as weapon, good morale.
Elk Steed: 2 Hit Dice, Armor as leather, d8 damage with antlers, good morale.
Animalmen: 1 Hit Die, Armor as leather, d6 damage with clubs, poor morale.
The crystal sword is worthless in combat when wielded by anyone who is not Chaotic. If someone who
is Chaotic wields it, it gains +2 to damage against individuals in non-metal armour and is otherwise a
regular sword. The wooden plate is similarly limited to those who are Chaotic, in which case it is as strong
as steel but does not provide encumbrance. It does have the unfortunate side effect of aging the wearer 1
week for every day it is worn, but elves live so long that it is never noticed.
The Black Hound
The black hound is a feral wolfhound of pitch black colouration. It is a favoured pet of the
Dark Heart of the Woods for it turned on its master and slew him when it heard the call of the
wild. It has been warped and mutated with the blessings of the Dark Heart. Any time it injures a
living being an immediate duplicate image of itself is formed which will continue to attack that
same target until they are dead (at which point the duplicate dissipates). An individual can quickly
find themselves being swarmed by a seething mass of the hound. All of the hounds however share
the same hit points. Harming one harms them all.
Black Hound: 8 Hit Dice, Armor as chain, 2d4+2 damage from a bite, excellent morale
Ole One Eye
Ole One Eye is a massive black bear, the size of a small house. There are grey tinges in the fur,
and one eye is but a mass of scar tissue from some unknown battle. The beast is loyal to the forest
which houses it and hides it. If it flees it will seem to simply meld into the vegetation and return the
next day fully healed.
Ole One Eye: 9 Hit Dice, Armor as leather, two attacks at d8 damage, poor morale.
Elven Raiders
13 elves, newly formed from stolen children will dash from the trees to assault the players. They are
level 0 elves who are nude save for a wicker shield and a crystal tipped wooden spear. Each knows
the spell Shocking Grasp which they can cast through their spears to deal extra damage.
Elven Raiders: 1 Hit Die, Armor as unarmoured with shield. Spear for d6, poor morale.
Bandits with Druidic Ties
Although they are just normal men, to survive in these woods they have made simple pacts
with the forest. They are left untouched in exchange for simple offerings and their continued raids
on civilization. 2d6 bandits will be encountered. The leftmost d6 is the number who have leather
armour, daggers and a bow. The rightmost d6 is the number with leather armour, a spear, shield and
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hand axe. They have 1d6sp each in personal wealth.
Wild Boar
It is angry, stupid and does not discriminate between targets very well. The pig will burst into
the clearing and attack until two rounds go by without it being struck, at which point it leaves.
Wild Boar: 3 Hit Dice, Armor as leather. gore for d6+1, poor morale.
Poachers
Three locals from the village are illegally hunting in this forest. They receive -2 to any reaction
rolls if the party is obviously engaged in their own illegal behaviour. This is anything where it
becomes obvious the characters aren t going to turn them over to the local bailif. They are armed
with bows and boar spears.
A Feral Horse
What luck! A wild riding horse is in the forest! A reaction roll indicates its temperment. It will
not fight unless cornered, prefering to flee. It was born wild and is not branded with any owner.
Trio of Sorceresses
These three women have been sent to find the party. One is a beautiful young woman no older
than 20, the second is a rather plain woman in her thirties and the last is a hunchbacked woman
in her nineties. Each one is a 3rd level Chaotic Cleric without armour or weapons, though they
choose their spells from the Magic-User list. As long as there are no hostile actions they will provide
basic information to the party, including the location of the halflings abandoned camp. If there
are any Clerics in the group they will attempt to convert the Cleric, pointing out how they already
travel with those opposed to the forces of order. They say that Clerics actually draw their magic
from a terrifying extra-dimensional force that seeks to bring stasis and oblivion to all existence. They
are willing to perform a ritual to convert the Cleric to a sorceror. Should the Cleric partake in the
ritual they will be turned Chaotic and be able to choose their spells from the Magic-User spell list
instead of the Cleric spell list. However they cannot memorize a spell a second time until they have
memorized every other spell in that spell level at least once. Spells cannot be removed from memory
without casting.
The ritual itself is highly psycho-sexual and involves all three sorceresses. It involves a great deal
of ingesting of bodily fluids. It is obviously unwholesome. Unless Bless is cast on the bodies, death
will only impede these three until the next full moon.
Talking Owl
An owl will appear on a nearby tree and begin speaking the common tongue of the region. It
will ramble on with gossip about the various forest creatures, becoming annoyed if players interrupt
it. Every two minutes of conversation it will allow the players to ask one question about the forest
and respond with very detailed information, for two minutes. If the players interupt more than
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twice the owl will leave. If captured, it will lose all abilities once it leaves the woods.
Friendly Pixies
2d8 pixies dart about the party, singing and dancing in an ancient and completely made up
faerie language... so maybe not so much ancient as twenty minutes old. They provide light equal
to a torch and will not be hostile unless the party actually attacks them. They will also defend the
party should it be attacked, each pixie being willing to cast a single Magic Missile before retreating.
Pixies: 1 Hit Point Armor as leather, a single magic missile, poor morale.
The Great Green Cat
The Great Green Cat is an elemental force of nature, causing destruction upon the very forces
of civilization wherever it encounters them. It takes the form of a great green tiger that stalks these
forests, especially in areas which have been tended to by man (such as the royal hunting ground).
Its blood will cause plants and flowers to grow in its footsteps. Its bite will deliver a vicious poison
that will kill any Lawful cleric instantly unless a save versus Poison is made. A Lawful creature (or a
Cleric which has made its save) will instead take an extra 1d12 points of damage. The creature is not
interested in harming Chaotic or Neutral beings.
The Great Green Cat: 7 Hit Dice, Armor as leather, two claws for d8 damage, or a single
venomous bite, excellent morale. Moves three times as fast as an unencumbered man.
The White Stag
The White Stag is the favoured child of the Dark Heart of the Woods and viewing it is the
only thing that brings it joy. It is a large albino stag with glowing green eyes that seems to radiate
light. Wherever it wanders, it is preceded by a swarm of vibrant coloured butterflies. Any Chaotic
characters regenerate 1d6 hit points per round in sight of the Stag, while Lawful creatures take and
equal amount of damage. Should anyone attack the White Stag they receive -5 to all future checks
in the forest. Should they injure it they receive -20. Should it be slain, all the remaining avatars of
the Dark Heart of the Woods will awaken at once and immediatly converge on the characters with a
deafening roar that echoes through the forest.
The White Stag: 3 Hit Dice, Armor as leather, trample for d6 damage, terrible morale. Moves three
times the speed of an unencumbered man.
Magical Spells and Items
The Diary of the Fairey Princess:
There are so very many sparkles, and it is pink. It has tassels. Really this is just the most
obnoxious looking sparkly diary you can picture a 6 year old ballerina wanting. But here it is, the
spell book of the Fairey Princess. Inside are scrawled dark spells that require uttering black tongues
of ancient days. This would be more imposing if all the dots and umlauts were not drawn as little
pink hearts.
15
Lamentations of the Gingerbread Princess
The following spells are written in it:
Nightmare Fuel
1st Level:
Magic User Level 2
Charm Person
Duration: Permanent
Faerie Fire
Range: Touch
Feather Fall
The caster may use this spell to permanently
2nd Level:
animate a stuffed doll or other toy with unholy
Gingerbread Curse
life. The spell requires both a children s toy and
Cookie to Flesh
either a bound demon, djinn or spirit. If there is
Nightmare Fuel
not a bound spirit, the spell can also be cast on
3rd Level:
a fresh grave on the night it is buried, or simply
Fireworks
in the presence of a demon, djinn, ghost or
Rainbow Bolt
similar being. This is not without risk.
Once the spell has begun, the caster rolls
New Spells:
1d6 every round. When a 6 has been rolled
the spell has been successfully cast and a check
Gingerbread Curse
should be made to bind the spirit into the doll
Magic User Level 2
using 1d20. If the spell is interrupted, a check is
Duration: 1 turn/level
made immediatly using 1d6.
Range: 10
The caster should roll the d20 (or d6 if
The caster points at a target and wiggles his
interrupted) and add her caster level to the roll.
or her nose. The target is transformed into a
The spirit being placed into the doll should roll
gingerbread person for the duration of the spell
1d6 if it is bound already (such as in a magic
if a save versus Magic is failed. As a gingerbread
jar), or 1d20 if it is not (such as a fresh grave)
person, any damaged suffered results in bits of
and then adds its level or hit dice. If the caster
the cookie crumbling. Hit points lost in this
exceeds the score of the spirit it is bound and
way cannot be healed as they instead lower the
must obey the caster s every whim. The doll
target s hit point total. As a side effect the target
can never willingly harm the caster. If the caster
of the spell will be able to run 10% faster than
does not exceed the score of the spirit but still
anything chasing it. Because run, run as fast
exceeds the level or hit dice of the spirit it is
as you can, you ll never catch the gingerbread
bound into the doll but has complete free will.
man.
If the caster does not even exceed the level
Cookie to Flesh
or hit dice score of the spirit the caster s soul
Magic User Level 2
is destroyed and the spirit is now possessing
Duration: Instantaneous
the caster and has access to any spells or other
Range: Touch
memories of the caster.
The caster may cancel a Gingerbread Curse or
turn up to 5 pounds of cookie or cookielike
material to unknown raw meat per caster level.
16
Zzarchov Kowolski
The dolls have a Strength and Dexterity score equal to the caster s level plus their own level or
hit dice. They maintain their own memories, spells, morality and are shifted to a Chaotic alignment.
They have 1d6 hit points, adding the total of the caster s level and their previous level or hit dice
total as a bonus.
Fireworks
Magic User Level 3
Duration: Instantaneous
Range: 20 /level
The caster causes an area of space with a radius of 5 /level to explode intermittently in glorious
and spectacular fireworks, creating a large amount of noise and light. It also is potentially fatal to
those inside. The caster should roll 1d6/level, each 1 or 6 dealing that much damage to those inside,
who may make a saving throw versus Breath Weapon to take half damage for the round. Any roll
of 2-5 is put aside and rolled again the next round in the same manner. Eventually every d6 will
do damage, it is simply a question of when. When there are no d6s remaining the fireworks display
ends.
Rainbow Bolt
Magic User Level 3
Duration: Instantaneous
Range: 20 /level
The caster fires off a vibrant rainbow at a target and may make an immediate attack roll against
a target. If this shimmering rainbow hits the target, the caster should roll 1d7 for damage and
multiply the result by the caster s level. If you don t have a d7, roll 1d8 and re-roll any 8s. Damage
dealt represents matter being converted into small pieces of candy.
Wand of Rainbow Bolt
This wand is a clear glass cylinder two feet long and no wider than a man s thumb. Attached
to the end is an oversized five pointed star coated in gold foil and glitter. Two pink streamers and a
single white streamer are also attached at the end of the shaft, so that they can flutter in the breeze
as the wand is waved about. The wand can contain 13 charges at most, but has been depleted down
to 4. Rainbow Bolts cast from this wand count as being cast from a 5th level Magic-User.
17
Interior Art:
Editing:
Amos Orion Sterns
James Edward Raggi IV
Cover Art:
Layout and Design:
Cynthia Sheppard
Jeremy Jagosz
Writing and Cartography:
Zzarchov Kowolski
© 2013 Zzarchov Kowolski
issued under exclusive license to
www.lotfp.com
Product code LFP0027
ISBN: 978-952-5904-67-3
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