Wind From The Abyss













Wind From The Abyss

Silistra, Book 3

Janet E. Morris

1978

 

Contents

Authorłs
Note

I: In
Mourning for the Unrecollected

II: The
Wages of Forgetfulness

III: Seeking
Stance in the Time

IV: The Gulf
of Alternate Conceptions

V: Draw to
Crux

VI: An
Ordering of Affairs

VII: Into
the Abyss

VIII: The
Passing of Khys

IX: The Law
Within

X: In
Deference to Owkanen

Appendix 1

Appendix 2

Glossary

Silistran
Calendar

 

 

To my sister

 

Authorłs Note

Since, at the beginning of this tale, I did not recollect
myself nor retain even the slightest glimmer of such understanding as would
have led me to an awareness of the significance of the various occurrences that
transpired at the Lake of Horns then, I am adding this preface, though it was
not part of my initial conception, that the meaningfulness of the events
described by “KhysÅ‚s Estri" (as I have come to think of the shadow-self I was
while the dharen held my skills and memory in abeyance) not be withheld from
you as they were from me.

I knew myself not: I was Estri because the girl Carth
supposedly found wandering in the forest stripped of comprehension and identity
chose that name. There, perhaps, lies the greatest irony of all, that I named
myself anew after Estri Hadrath diet Estrazi, who in reality I had once been.
And perhaps it is not irony at all, but an expression of Khysłs humor, an implied
dissertation by him who structured my experiences, my very thoughts, for nearly
two years, until his audacity drove him to bring together once more Sereth
crill Tyris, past-Slayer, then the outlawed Ebvrasea, then arrar to the dharen
himself; Chayin rendi Inekte, cahndor of Nemar, co-cahndor of the Taken Lands,
chosen son of Tar-Kesa, and at that time Khysłs puppet-vassal; and myself, former
Well-Keepress, tiask of Nemar, and lastly becoming the chaldless outlaw who had
come to judgment and endured ongoing retribution at the dharenłs hands. To test
his hesting, his power over owkahen, the time-coming-to-be, did Khys put us
together, all three, in his Day-Keepersł cityand from that moment onward, the
Weathers of Life became fixed: siphoned into a singular future; sealed tight as
a dead god in his mausoleum, whose every move but brought him closer to the
summed total, death. So did the dharen Khys bespeak it, himself .. ..

I: In Mourning for the Unrecollected

The hulion hovered, wings aflap, at the window, butting its
black wedge of a head against the pane. Its yellow eyes glowed cruelly,
slit-pupiled. Its white fangs, gleaming, were each as long as my forearm.

I screamed.

Its tufted ears, flat against its head, twitched. Again and
again, toothed mouth open wide, it battered at the window, roaring.

Once more I screamed, and ran stumbling to the far wall of
my prison. I pounded upon the locked doors with my fists, pressing myself
against the wood. Sobbing, I turned to face it.

The beastłs ears flickered at the sound. Those jaws, which
could have snapped me in half, closed. It cocked its head.

I trembled, caught in its gaze. I could retreat no farther.
I sank to my knees, moaning, against the door frame.

The beast gave one final snort. Those wings, with a spread
thrice the length of a tall man, snapped decisively, and it was gone.

When it was no more than a speck in the greening sky, I rose
clumsily, trembling, to collect the papers I had strewn across the mat in my
terror. They were the arrar Carthłs papers, those he had forgotten in his haste
to attend his returning masterłs summons.

I knelt upon my hands and knees on the silvery pile, that I
might gather them up and replace them in the tas-sueded folder before he returned.

Foolish, I thought to myself, that I had so feared the hulion.
It could not have gotten in. I could not get out. It could not get in. Once I
had thrown a chair at that impervious clarity. The chair had splintered. With
one stout thala leg, as thick as my arm, had I battered upon that window. All
that I had accomplished was the transformation of chair into kindling. The
hulion, I chided myself, could have fared no better.

Hulions, upon occasion, have been known to eat man flesh.
Hulions, furred and winged, fanged and clawed, are the servants of the dharen.
I had had no need to fear. Yet, I thought as I gathered the arrar Carthłs
scattered papers, they are fearsome. Perhaps if I had been able, as others are,
to hear its mindłs intent, I would have felt differently. My fingers, numb and
trembling, fumbled for the delicate sheets.

One in particular caught my eye. It was in Carthłs precise
hand and headed: “Preassessment monitoring of the arrar Sereth. Enar fourth
second, 25,697."

I had met, once, the arrar Sereth. Upon my birthday, Macara
fourth seventh, in the year Å‚696 had I met him, that night upon which my child
had been conceived. I had read of his exploits. He frightened me, killer of
killers, enforcer for the dharen, he who wore the arrarchald of the messenger.
Sereth, scarred and lean and taut like some carnivore, who had loved the
Keepress Estri, my namesake, and with her brought great change upon Silistra in
the pass Amarsa, 25,695yes, I had met him.

I sat myself down cross-legged upon the Galeshir carpet,
papers still strewn about, forgotten, and began to read:

 

The time is approximately three enths after sunłs rising,
the weather clouded and cool, our position just south of the juncture of the
Karir and Thoss rivers. I highly recommend that you look in upon the moment.

The arrar Sereth, on the brindle hulion Leir, touched his
gol-knife. It was the first unnecessary movement he had made in over an enth.
My presence, alongside upon a black hulion, disquieted him. The brindle, gliding
at the apex of its bound, snorted. He touched its shoulder, and the beast,
obedient, angled its wings and began its descent.

When its feet touched the grass, he set it as a grounded
lope. I followed suit, bringing my black up to pace him.

Sereth regarded me obliquely. I, as he, served the
dharen, he thought, and touched his hulion to a stop.

We had been riding all the night, up from Galesh, where I
had met him with the two beasts. He had served the dharen, most lately, in
Dritira. And before that, in the hide diet, and before that upon the star world
Młksakka had he dealt death and retribution at Khysłs whim. And dealt them
successfully, though those tasks had been fraught with deadlier risk than a man
might be expected to survive. His thought was wry, recollecting.

“How did you find MÅ‚ksakka?" I asked, to key him, to
bring something else above the impenetrable shield he has constructed. My
hulion growled at the brindle he rode, and that one answered.

“I will make a full report to Khys," he said, slipping
off the hulionÅ‚s back. “Let us rest them."

I joined him where he lay upon the grass, staring at the
sky.

“I missed this land," he said. “The sky there is dark and
ominous, always clouded. MÅ‚ksakkan air stings eyes and lungs. Everything is
covered with a fine black dust. I would not go again off the planet."

“Perhaps he will not send you," I conjectured.

He saw MÅ‚ksakka, and that seeing was colored by his
distaste, both for the world and the work he had done there. The methods he had
employed displeased his sense of fitness. The value of the Młksakkanłs death
was to him obscure. I saw the moment: the adjusterłs surprised eyes, wide and
staring as Serethłs fingers closed on his throat, around his windpipe; the Młksakkanłs
clawing hand upon his wrist as he ripped out the manłs larynx, vocal cords
dangling; then the blood, spurting, and the sound of the adjusterłs choking
death.

And I saw others he had killed, those who were anxious to
try their skills against a real live Silistran. He had been hesitant to do so,
but more hesitant to face an endless line of their ilk, so he had killed the
first three. Again, his thoughts sank below readable level. The hulions lay
quiet, lashing their tails. The clouds scudded heavy over the sun. A soft,
drizzling rain commenced,

“The dharen is pleased with you," I said.

He sat up, his mind absolutely inviolate. “What do you
want, Carth?" He stared down at me. I lay perfectly still He made no attempt to
read me for his answer. He merely waited.

“A first impression. You are coming up for assessment," I
answered, rising up. “We want to get some sense of you. Your mental health is now
our concern."

He tossed his head, ripping grass from the sward.

“You brought child upon that wellwoman in Dritira," I prodded.

He saw her. In many ways she had reminded him of the
Keepress. It had been passes since he had taken a woman. On MÅ‚ksakka there were
females, but nothing he understood to be a woman. He had not couched many of
them. And in hide diet, there were only forereaders. In Dritira, with that
woman who reminded him of the Keepress, he had spent his long-pent sperm. Four
times he had used her, before she was more than a receptacle in his sight. And
he had abused her, more than was his custom.

“Get me the forms. I will collect my birth-price," he
answered. He did not want the woman.

“You should take her. We have been considering her. She
might yet make a forereader,"

“Then it is a pity she caught. From inferior sperm can
come only inferior stock."

“Khys has asked me," I said, “to bid you welcome to any
of the forereaders we hold in common at the lake. Spawn from such a union would
be doubtless possessed of talent. The bitterness you hold is out of proportion
to the reality. We all, at one time or another, find there is something we want
that we may not have."

He did not answer me, but rose and went to his hulion. He
thought of her as one thinks of the dead; with acceptance, and then of his
life, and what compromises he had made to keep it. What he let me know, I have
no doubt, will please you. What he did notthat is what concerns me. He allowed
me nothing else for the duration of our return.

His shield, as you will see, is set lower and much
farther into his deeper conscious than any I have encountered. Most of his
processing must take place behind it. Deep-reading him is out of the question.
He visualizes barely enough to verbalize his will. That he is functioning
superbly is attested to by his works. That he feels it to his advantage to
serve us at present is a certainty. I worry over what might occur, should he
choose, eventually, not to serve us.

My formal recommendation is for a complete and detailed assessment.
Also, I feel some attempt might be made to pacify him, in light of what he is
fast becoming. Or perhaps even to eliminate him, lest he become, like Sełkeroth,
the weapon turned upon the wielder.

And it was signed Carth.

“Carth!" I gasped, as a dark hand snapped the sheet from my
grasp. Still upon my knees, I twisted to see him. His dark eyes gleamed. He ran
his hand through his black curls.

“Did you find this informative, Estri?" he asked, towering
over me, the paper crumpled in his fist. Carth was furious. I dared not answer.

I started to my feet.

“Pick them up!" he commanded, pointing.

I scurried to obey him, scrambling for the sheets strewn
upon the web-work, my stomach an icy knot. Once before, I had seen Carth this
agitated, when I had written for him a certain paper. And he had called it audacious,
and destroyed it. I finished, and rose to my full height, handing the tas envelope
to him. My head came to his shoulder. He looked down at me, stern-faced.

“You were ill-advised to do this," he said. “He is not
pleased with you. This"and he threw the crumpled sheet across the room“will
only aggravate matters. You had best make some effort to placate him."

“What do you mean?" I demanded. “Has he taken some sudden
interest in me?" I had seen the dharen precisely three times since I had come
to reside at the Lake of Horns: the night he had gotten me with child, the day
following, and once while I lay near death when the child had driven me to seek
it. He had not been at the Lake of Horns when I bore his he-beast into the
world. I had cried out for him during that premature and extended labor. He had
not been available. Now, nearly eight passes later, he had returned.

“Do not be insolent!" CarthÅ‚s voice snapped as his palm
slapped my face to one side. Tears in my eyes, I put my hand to my cheek. It
was what I had thought, not what I had said, that had brought me punishment.
Shaking my head, I backed away from him. Though I had known Carth a telepath, a
surface-reader, rarest of Silistran talents, never had he shown his skills
before me, one who neither spoke nor heard the tongues of mind.

“Estri, come here."

I went to him, my hand trailing from my cheek to the warm,
pulsing band locked about my throat.

When I stood before him, he lifted my face, his hand under
my chin, that I might look into his eyes.

“He is very angry, child. You must realize that what you
think is as audible to him as what you say. I know it was not intentional, that
you read what you did. Forget it, if you can. Concentrate upon what lies before
you." He patted my shoulder, all the anger gone out of him.

“I do not want to see him," I said, toying with the ends of
my copper hair, grown now well below mid-thigh.

Carth pursed his lips. “You have no choice. He will see you
in a third-enth. Make ready." And he turned and strode through the double doors
that adjoined my prison to Khysłs quarters. Khys, my couch-mate, was again in
residence. The dharen of all Silistra, back from none knew where, would again
rule at the Lake of Horns.

Make ready, indeed, I thought, combing my hair. I had only
the white, sleeveless słkim I wore; thigh-length, of simple web-cloth. My
jewelry was the band of restraint at my throat. I retied the garment upon my
hips. Throwing my hair back, I regarded myself in my prisonłs mirrored wall. My
body, copper-skinned, lithe, only shades lighter than my thick mane, postured
at me, arrogant. I had thought, for a time, that the he-beast had destroyed it,
but such had not been the case. Exercise had given its grace and firmness back
to me. My legs are very long, my waist tiny, hips slim. Pregnancy had altered
me little. My breasts were still high and firm, my belly flat and tight. Good
enough for him, surely. I widened my eyes suggestively, then stuck my tongue
out at her. She made a face back. I grinned and wondered why I had done so,
turning from that wall that ever showed me the boundaries of my world.

At the window, I waited, looking out upon the eastern horn
of the lake. The fall flames of Brinar, harvest pass, fired the forest. The
grass was losing its battle, browning. Hulions and forereaders and Day-Keepers
strolled between the tusk-white buildings that circle the Lake of Horns like some wellwomanłs necklace. The green lake was calm and still, wearing the skyłs clouds
for masquerade.

Angry, was he? I did not care. I cared no more for him than
that he-beast he had put upon me. I would not care.

I had cared very much, once. He had been kind to me that
first night. I had no recollection of other men before him, though surely there
had been some. In my lost past lay all that had occurred before I came to the
Lake of Horns in Cetet of Å‚695, two years, two passes back. And I had cared for
him, he who first touched me, Khys.

He had told me he would do many things. He had done some. He
had put on me a son. He had seen to it that I was re-educated. I had been
looked after, but not by him. He had also said that someday the band of restraint
I wore would be removed from me, that I might explore my talents. That he had
not done. After the pregnancy, he had promised, when I lay near miscarriage by
my own hand. But no release had been given me after I birthed him his precious
child,

I touched the warm, vibrating band at my throat. I hardly
minded its tightness. I could often forget that it was there. But its true
significance I could not forget. Khys had explained to me that I wore the band
for my own protection, lest the mindlessness reach up again and take me. I had
learned otherwise. Early in my pregnancy, when they still humored me, I had
begged to be allowed to stay with the forereaders in the common holding, that I
might have the company of womankind. Reluctantly, Carth had agreed.

I had sent for him to take me back, weeping, upon the third
day. Among the forereaders, I was an outcast. Those born at the Lake of Horns feel themselves better than all others. My skin tone resembles theirs. Those
who come from the outside, or “Barbaria," as the Lake-born call it, are an even
tighter group. I fit neither. And I was the dharenłs alone. They were jealous,
common-held. Or so I thought, until I saw an angry dharener stride into the
womenłs keep and collar a moaning, pleading forereader. So do they punish
wrongdoers at the Lake of Horns. As long as she wore the band of restraint, the
forereader could not practice her craft. She was isolate. She was blind, deaf,
and dumb to mind skills. She could not sort. Neither could she hest. She was
helpless. She was shamed. She was marked, disgraced. As was I.

When Carth had retrieved me, I had demanded to know, sobbing
uncontrollably, what it was I had done. He had for me no answer, but that I
wore the band for my own protection.

But after that, I began to wonder. I wondered until the
child began to make itself known within me, until I could think of nothing
else. Ravening, it tried to destroy me. In time, I tried to destroy myself,
first, that perhaps I would not spawn such evil upon the world. But it would
not let me die. It enjoyed too much the torture to which it could subject me
from within.

When it was born, finally, after thirteen enths of labor, I
refused to look upon it. I would not feed it. They forced me twice, but the
he-beast was so agitated, red-faced, and howling, and its teeth so savage upon
me, that they desisted. I had never heard of a child born with teeth, but I had
known it would have them. I felt their bite a full pass before the thing demanded
exit. I was glad to be rid of it, a pass before it was due.

He could not blame me, surely, if he had seen it. If his
mind had touched it, he would not be angry. I leaned back against the window,
waiting.

It was more than twice the third-enth Carth had given me
before those doors opened and he motioned me to him, his concerned eyes
admonishing as I passed by him into Khysłs personal quarters.

The dharen stood by the gol table, stripping off trail gear
as blue-black as the thala walls. His copper hair glinted golden from the tiny
suns, Day-Keeper-made, that hovered near the hammered bronze ceiling.

Carth crossed the thick rust rug, soundless, to speak with
him. Then only did Khys look at me. I pressed back against the doors,
trembling. His face, in that moment, had been terrible with his wrath.

Carth made obeisance to him and left the outer doors.

The dharen paid me no mind, but stripped himself of his leathers
and weapons. I watched him, the only man that had ever touched me. I had
forgotten him, his long-legged grace, his considerable mass so lightly carried,
his ruddy, glowing skin.

In his breech, he went and poured himself some drink and
took it to his rust-silked couch. Upon it he sat cross-legged, sipping slowly,
his eyes regarding me over the bowlłs golden rim. The crease between his arched
brows deepened. He threw the emptied bowl to the mat, where it rolled silently
upon the thick pile. My throat ached, looking at him.

Then I recalled to myself that which he had done to me, and
that which he had not done. I tossed back my hair and pushed away from the
door.

“I was told you wished to see me," I said quietly, my fists
clenched at my sides.

He stared at me a time in silence through those molten,
disquieting eyes. I felt my palms slick under his indolent, possessive scrutiny.

“Take that off," he ordered. “I would see how childbearing
left you."

I flushed, but I untied the słkim and dropped it.

“Turn," he said. Shaking with rage, I did so, kicking my
abandoned garment from my path. When I came again to face him, I put my hands
on my hips.

“Well?" I demanded, shaking my hair over one breast.

“Do not stand like that!" he snapped. My hands went to my sides.
“Come here."

“Khys!" I objected. My head exploded with pain. I sank to my
knees, my hands clapped over my ears. But they could not keep out that roaring.
Then another pain, and my head was twisted back by the hair. By it, he pulled
me up against him.

“How dare you withhold sustenance from my son?" he demanded.
I thought my neck would snap. His other hand held my wrists against the small
of my back. “How dare you come to me in such arrogance?" He shook my head
savagely, his words hissing a fine spray upon my cheek. “You have disobeyed my
expressed wishes. You will not do so again. When I am finished with you, you
will not be so presumptuous." Lifting me into the air, he threw me against the
wall above the couch. I struck it with my back and shoulder with such force
that the breath was driven from my lungs.

He stood, spread-legged, looming over me. I did not move. I
lay very still, as I had fallen, that I might not further enrage him. My mouth
was foul with fear. My mind cried and whimpered. I raised my face to him,
pleading. His thick-lashed eyes, half-closed, were unreadable.

“Khys, please," I begged him, hoarse. “I could do no
different. It is a monster, a beast. Please, I tried. It drove me mad. It tried
to kill me. Punish it, not me."

His nostrils flared. He shook his head, his mouth twisted in
disgust. “Sit on your heels," he commanded.

I did so, my whole body sheened with sweat, my knees pressing
into the couch silks. My arms clasped about me, I shivered in spasms. I hardly
knew him, the dharen. Never before had he raised a hand to me.

“You had not given me cause," he said. Still did he breathe
heavily, still was his body taut with rage.

I ran my hands through my hair, tearing it from my eyes,
trying desperately to stop thinking. But I could not. I was hypnotized by him,
poised menacing above me. I felt as I had with the huliontrapped, defenseless,
vulnerable.

“I am frightened," I whispered, my eyes downcast.

“That shows you are not totally mad," he said. Hearing the
amusement in his voice, I raised my head. I recalled his face as it had been
when I had lain near death with his child in my belly, his concern, his compassion.
I saw, now, no trace of such emotions.

He stripped off his breech. I saw very still, watching the
play of muscles across his back.

“Once," he said softly, straightening up, “you asked me to
teach you your femaleness. I thought you too weak, then. I did what needed
done, and nothing more. Doubtless your failure to function as a woman lies partly
upon me, I am going to attempt to remedy the situation before it kills you."

But when he came toward me, I could not do it. I could not
sit and let him vent his anger upon me. I fled, as far as he allowed. When he
chose, I found myself imprisoned within my own body, and it, of its own accord,
returning to him. He stood calmly by the couch and took my flesh from my
control. I could not speak. I found myself at his feet, my head pressed to the
mat.

He let me try those bonds, for a while, let me dance upon
the brink of madness. When he took his will from my limbs, I did not move.

He flipped me casually onto my back, crouching down, menacing.
His large head came close to mine.

“Lie still, and do as you are told. Only that, no more." And
I did so, until I forgot, in my need, his instruction. The taste of blood in my
mouth, the flat of his hand against my searching lips, reminded me. I laid my
head back against his thigh as my body leaped to him, pleading, I heard my
voice repeating things he had bade me say, without understanding. And later,
when his teeth and tongue were upon me, did I beg for his use. And I did for
him what I had not known a man would ask of a woman, whimpering. And he, raised
on stiff arms above me, laughed. As he thrust into me, I sobbed his name, my
love for him, my need. And then his weight came down and I could but cling to
him as he rocked me. When I thought my bones would shatter, he grunted,
shivered, and lay still.

He stayed with me, holding his weight upon one arm, stroking
my hair back from my forehead.

“I needed you so much when I had the child within," I whispered.

“I know," he said. “I have a world to run." His eyes
narrowed. I felt him, I thought, in my mind: “Do you know how lonely it is for
me, locked up?"

“I can do nothing else with you." He rolled away, onto his
side. “But I will be here. My works are progressing nicely. I need not be
elsewhere.

“I want you to understand something," he continued, taking
me into his arms. “I have what I wanted from you." His voice was gentle. His
hands wandered my hips. “I must see a radical change in your behavior to
justify the trouble of you. Carth tells me it is doubtful that you would
survive another pregnancy."

“I do not take your meaning," I said numbly.

“There are more than two thousand forereaders at the Lake of Horns, many extremely attractive, all skilled and cooperative. I cannot, for
reasons I will not explain, put you in common holding."

I rolled away from him. “Did the child please you?" I asked.


“Yes."

“But I do not." My voice shook. I had been breeding stock to
him. I was no longer useful as such.

“No," he said. “You do not."

“I did the best I could," I flared. “I am ignorant of couch
skills."

He laughed, touching my lips with his finger. “It was a
start," he admitted. “If you live, you might learn to serve a man properly. You
misunderstand me, or I give you more understanding of life here than you have."
He sat up, and pulled me by the hair into his lap.

“I had not intended to breed you again. If I do decide to do
so, you may not survive it. I am not in need of a contentious, undisciplined female.
Either you will become otherwise, or I will have to breed you to justify your
existence."

“Have to?" I asked. My terror of pregnancy and that of death
balanced even.

“You are coming up for assessment. I must follow my own rules,
if I expect others to obey them."

I shivered, buried my head in his lap. I thought of what I
had read; I could not help it. I waited for the pain of his displeasure. It did
not come. His hand went around my throat, lifted my head. He bent and pressed his
lips to mine. I felt him move against my thigh. My hand sought him, and he allowed
it. He bent his bite to my nipples, erect and waiting.

Something, within me, turned and rustled in that couching,
and halfway through it, when I choked and gagged on him, it woke itself to my
aid. I shifted position, arched my neck slightly, and my discomfort disappeared.
Easily, sure, I worked upon him, my lips against the very root of him, my nose
in his golden hairs. And he shuddered and his hands came upon the back of my
neck, and I let him slide forward, that I might get the taste of him. As he
pulsed in my mouth, I ran my tongue, fast, hard, up and down the underside of
him. And the dharen moaned and twisted, his hands convulsive upon me.

When he cursed, softly, laughing, I sat up to see him. My
strangeness still upon me, I noted his fine-chiseled lips, swollen with his
heat. Then I bent again, licking, nipping, and took from him that last aftertaste.

By criteria I had not known before, I read his bodyłs response,
my cheek against his hard belly, that I might feel his excitement, judge it by
the wane.

“Tell me again, dharen, what you might do to me, if I cannot
sufficiently please you." And I heard my voice, deeper and more upon breath,
and it seemed to me that it was a strangerłs voice, with an accent I could not
place.

He grunted, sat slowly. He cuffed me lightly, pushed my head
from his lap, crossing his legs under him. I regarded him, discerningly, and
found him not wanting.

“Insolent saiisa," he growled, grinning. And I knew the wordÅ‚s
meaning, though it is man-slang, and Carth never spoke crudely. The word means
coin girl, of the cheapest variety and questionable skill.

“I wish I were even that, rather than living my life in that
chamber," I said, the mood gone, and with it that odd confidence and comfort.

“You may have the both of them, yours and mine, for a while."
His eyes probed mine. “Is that one of those things a woman instinctively knows?"
he asked, and I knew what he meant, but I had no answer. I smoothed the rumpled
couch silks.

“Perhaps I read it," I said. I wanted to crawl into his lap,
curl into a ball, and sleep. More than I had wanted the child out of me, even,
I wanted his approval. I recalled those nights, alone, I had cried myself to
sleep over him, He stared at me, his head slightly cocked. I remembered my
humiliation, that he would not even deign to use me, that he cared not even
enough to check on the growth of his child in my belly.

I laid my hand upon his forearm, upon the copper, silky
hairs there. His skin, a reddish gold, was shades lighter than mine, and the
glow upon it was more pronounced.

“Khys," I whispered, “keep me with you, please. I will be
whatever you want. Just give me time." I did not look at him. Tears I had,
thought long spent came and drowned me. “I love you," I blurted, miserable, not
understanding.

And he pulled me up beside him, and in those arms I poured
out my pain to him, my confusion, my doubts. I begged him to explain why I wore
the band upon my neck. I pleaded for my past, or some way he might know to make
me whole without it. And I asked him of the child, and why it had been such a
curse while residing in my womb. He said nothing, until I had finished, dry of
words and tears both.

“I will discuss it with you," he allowed, still holding me. “I
am not prone to patience, I will speak of these things once, only. You will
never ask me again."

I nodded, my head pressed against his chest, where his
copper hair grew thick.

“First the band. When and if you show signs of emotional stability,
we will consider removing it. When you were progressing so well, those first
passes, I had thought we might have done so by now."

“It was the child, and the pain from its growth," I whispered.

“And it was you who chose to experience your pregnancy as
you did. Another woman would have, perhaps, enjoyed it, loved the child, and
cried when it was taken from her. Still another might have filled her time with
study, or some creative work. Females have been bearing young for thousands
upon thousands of years."

I pulled away from him. He looked at me narrow-eyed.

“I am not insulting you. I am going to explain something to
you. You were, so to speak, born anew two years ago. You still gather the
experiential perspectives most acquire when they are babies. You could not get
them from lying, hungry, denied motherłs milk. You could not get them, learning
to walk. You still gather the experiential perspectives; those upon which adult
behavior must be based. Wait!" he snapped, as I sought to interrupt him. I sat
back upon my heels.

“You wear the band. It is my will that you continue to wear
it. If it pleases you to feel that you are unjustly marked by it, then feel so.
The forereaders in common holding did not ostracize you of the band. Where
there are women, there are great stores of information. I am sure they know all
about you. You are not common-held. You come from the outside, but are
complexioned as a blood princess among them. And those women from outside, perhaps
rightly, hate the superior lake-breds. When I allowed it, I was sure you would
not stay. I wanted you to realize the value of your isolation. You did not.

“No one has barred you from any studies you might have
wished to pursue. Tutors of all sorts might attend you. One makes what one
wants of the opportunities life presents."

“But I may not walk the lakeside. I may not even walk the
dharenłs tower."

“You attempted suicide. We found it necessary to restrain
you."

“Before that?" I tossed my hair forward. It fell shining,
past my knees, copper ends on the rust silks.

“It was too early. You were not ready. You are still not
ready. If your memory does come back to you, and you have not become ready, it
will destroy you. There is nothing I can do to hasten its return, nor would I
choose to do so." His voice had a tinge of impatience. He closed his eyes for a
moment.

“And my child?" I asked him.

“Your child is no monster, only the first of its kind."

“How can that be?" I shifted, knees aching.

He rose and filled two bowls from that golden pitcher and
brought me one. I tasted it, found it fine kifra, dry and live. I sipped, laid
the cool metal upon my thighs.

“Look at yourself," he commanded. A muscle ticked upon his
jaw.

I did, and back at him, my hand upon the bowl to balance it.

“Once the fathers spread their seed widely upon the land. We
have long been about gathering up those offspring. You are one we missed.
Surely you knew it when you saw your resemblance to the lake-born."

I had considered it, but felt it some pretentious fantasy.

“But there are other children."

“Other attempts. This is the first that has matched my
vision."

“I still do not understand."

“I did not expect you would. But I have told you that you at
least have some truths to work with, building your particular reality. Build it
well, for you must live within that construction." His voice had an edge, and
he drained the bowl he held and set it down. My stomach lurched, tightened, as
he approached.

“What is assessment?" I asked.

“You will find out, soon enough," he said, taking the bowl
from my lap. His long fingers fondled my breast. I twisted, that I might free myself.

“Do not flinch from me," he ordered, but softly. “I would
give you a few more truths for your reality. You are mine. I will do with you
what pleases me. Lie back."

I lay back, stretching my aching legs out straight.

“I do not wish to be touched, not now," I objected, but I
did not move away from his hand.

“Then do not wish it. Your wish has very little bearing upon
what will occur, at this moment, or any other. But you will wish it shortly. I
promise you."

I was his. And he did what he pleased with me, and within an
enth, all I wished was his couching.

I found myself alone, in his chambers. The doors were not
locked. He had looked back at me, almost smiling, and left one door ajar. And I
had risen to my feet and gone to stand before them, my arms clutched around me,
shivering. Freedom lay, doubtless not, out those doors. He would see me disobey
him. Or perhaps he would see that I could not.

For I could not. I stared at the open door, sank to my
knees. If I ran, he would find me and bring me back. I remembered his wrath. I
recollected his strength. And I found that not only did I dare not run, but
that I dared not displease him. I wondered how I could sit calmly with the open
door beckoning, and not try.

I sat cross-legged, a luxury he would not have allowed me.
Above my head, the tiny suns had dimmed, as ever when no Day-Keeper is within
their range. To the miniature stars, each within its prison, I did not exist. I
wondered if they were sad, and restless, as was I in my constraint. And if
there were any of them, for the bronze ceiling hosted twelve, that felt love.

I lay upon my stomach, on the rusty Galeshir carpet, humming
softly, under my breath. My acknowledged couch-mate, the dharen, whom I had so
fully served, was possessed totally of me. A responsive female he had made me.
I smiled to myself. I was other than I had been, a few enths ago. And doubtless
he would teach me to become still a different creature. I shivered. I wondered
if the fear of him would pass.

Sighing, I rose and wandered the dharenłs lair, that I might
know what such a man would choose to keep about him. Without a word, he had
left me. I found myself at the gol table, a featureless translucent slab, upon
which he had piled his trail gear. A straight-blade lay there, half the length
of my arm, in a chased scabbard of green stra metal. Its hilt was inlaid with
titrium wire, the butt of it a single fire gem.

I slid it from the scabbard, my hand upon the hilt. A strange
thrill went through me, holding the weapon, as if I had held such before. Upon
the stra blade was engraved a legend, in some unfamiliar script. And a symbol,
one I had seen repeated upon the scabbard and hilt, a bursting spiral. And then
I recollected the tune I hummed: Sełkeroth.

Chilled cold, I replaced the sword in its housing, and
stepped back. I did not touch the gol-knife there, or the strange sharp-edged
circles of steel piled beside it. “SeÅ‚keroth, Sword of Severance," rang in my
head.

Wordless, he had left me, in an unlocked room filled with
weapons. I ran my palms along the inner thighs, still damp without moisture. I
paced the chamberłs confines, trailing my hand along the smooth northern thala
that paneled the walls, my bare feet soundless upon the Galeshir mat. I could
kill myself, if I chose. I could arm myself and run. I did neither.

My hand found a panel, forward of the others. I slid it
back. Bound books and scrolls lay there, orderly, behind a second wall of
glass. Among them I saw his own works, numerous volumes, including Ors
Yris-Tera, “Book of the Weathers of Life." And what must have been the game itself,
yris-tera, the three-level board and leather shaker. Inside that shaker, I
knew, were sixty bone pieces. Another creation of Khysłs, Ors Chaldra, lay near
it. Divination and morality had been Khysłs concerns, in hide-days, when he and
some few others attempted to put Silistra back together again, after the fall.
Disquieted, I slid the panel back in place. How could I aspire to him? Upon the
gol table, among his other gear, had been Khysłs own chald. He did not, as do
most Silistrans, wear his chald soldered about him. The great chald of Silistra,
in which every strand given upon the planet was woven, lay like some sleeping
slitsa among his leathers.

If I had had a chald, a testament to my skills and accomplishments,
a prideful statement of my chan-tera, the will of the life, I would not have
left it casually upon some table. But I bore no chaldra. If I had ever, it was
lost, along with my past. It is a shameful thing, to be chaldless. I had been
told that someday I might bear the arrarłs chald, the highest attainable. But
that was before my madness, before the child.

I found I had come again to the beckoning doors. I turned
and surveyed Khysłs keep once more; the rust-silked couch, the gol table, the
windowed alcove floored with cushions. Above my head, the tiny suns flickered,
dimmed again. I went and collected the three bowls near the couch and placed
them on the stand that held their brothers, and the golden kifra pitcher. I
smoothed the silks over the dharenłs sumptuous couch.

Once more the door drew me. Doubtless, he would tire of me.
I, barely literate, unskilled, was no fit companion for such a man. He had
gone, leaving me unrestrained. I might not see him for another two years. I
remembered what he had said, that there were better than two thousand women at
the Lake of Horns. And what he only implied, that any of them would be honored
to stand in my place. He had gotten already that which he had desired from me.

I put my hand upon the doorłs bronze handle, pushed it back.
Standing in the doorway, I regarded the tapestried hallway, the vaulted ceiling
with its myriad tiny stars for illumination. The floor was of stones, squares
of blue ornithalum and green-veined archite. I put one bare foot upon that
smooth coldness.

And then I heard him, his voice edged with anger. From the
left, around a sharp turning by a tapestry depicting battling hulions, he
strode into my sight, another beside him.

I stood frozen, caught with one foot upon the hall stones.
Not even did I move to shake my hair over my nakedness before a stranger. Khysłs
companion looked enough like him that they might have been brothers, except for
his hair, shades darker than mine. He wore a full loose robe of blue-black,
with a glittering spiral at his left shoulder. About his waist was a chald
nearly as grand as the dharenłs, wide and thick, imposing in its magnitude.

“... as I please!" said Khys to his companion. They had not
yet noticed me. I stood witless, unmoving.

“It seems to me," said the other, not intimidated, “that
your passion clouds your judgment in this matter." I clutched the doorłs edge,
leaned upon it.

“You will come to think differently," said Khys, his mouth
an angry white line. “I can ... Estri! Come here." They both stopped there
before the hulion tapestry.

Trembling, I hastened to obey him. His companionłs eyes assessed
me coldly. I knelt to him, as he had taught me, my hair falling over his feet,
my knees upon the cold floor. It was not easy, before another. I felt my skin
flush.

“Doubtless you can make her obedient. That is not a factor,"
said the other.

“On the contrary, it is the factor. But one must define obedience.
I feel," said Khys, “that even though you have prejudged matters, what I have
done may still enlighten you. This is no time to discuss it."

And he bent and touched me. I rose, my hair over my breasts,
shining in the soft light. Khysłs eyes seemed concerned. The otherłs glance was
openly hostile.

“Walk with us," he said, and they moved apart, that I might
be between them.

“This is Vedrast, Estri."

“Presti mÅ‚it, Keepress," intoned Vedrast, his full
mouth feigning a smile.

“You mistake me, arrar." He took my arm, as if to guide me
back into Khysłs keep. I felt a slight shock, at his pressure, then a sense of
presence. I grabbed Khysłs wrist, fearful. He shook his head imperceptibly. I
dropped my hands to my sides.

“My apologies, lady," said Vedrast, enigmatic. His eyes were
decidedly amber.

Khys turned to close the double doors, and the light in the
keep brightened.

The arrar Vedrast crossed the room and poured himself a bowl
of kifra, taking it to the alcove, where he lounged back upon the cushions
there. The spiral glittered upon his robe. I turned from him, to Khys, behind
me.

My couch-mate stood with his hands upon his hips, his face
abstracted. He seemed elsewhere. I waited, wanting to run to him, seek shelter
from this other, who glowered, intimidating, from amid the cushions.

He motioned me to him, took me in under his arm. He was
scowling, but not at me.

“You had best lighten your touch, Vedrast," he said to his
guest. “It is the entire monitoring system that stands to judgment here."

“I do not take your meaning," said Vedrast slowly, his jaw a
grim line. Whorls of sparks danced in the air between them. Khys stiffened.

“This that you do here is at best, a formality. I will do,
as I have always done, my own will. Properly handled, the monitoring you want
as its own authority will uphold me. If it does not, then it has been improperly
done."

The arrar blanched visibly, put down his bowl, and got purposefully
to his feet. Khys pushed me gently to one side. They considered one another.

“Will you gainsay rules of your own creation?"

“I made guidelines that, properly adhered to, would serve as
safety factors in complicated hests of long duration. If the sorting of the
monitor is not free from preconceptions, the work is valueless."

“I would take these points up with all us present," rasped
Vedrast, flicking those intrusive eyes my way. I was shocked that he would
speak so to the dharen.

“Do your business here, now!" Khys commanded. “And I warn
you, see to your skills while you are about it."

The arrar Vedrast closed his eyes for a moment, searching composure.
He found it, and walked purposefully toward me. I retreated from him.

“Stand still, Estri," Khys commanded.

“Come sit with me," said the other, extending his hand. I
looked at it. He did not withdraw. Timidly I extended my hand to his. This time
there was no shock, but I felt again, unmistakably, a cold touch within. I
twisted my head to the dharen.

“Please, Khys," I petitioned him, as Vedrast led me firmly toward
the alcove. He only looked away, his face gone cold.

“Sit there. Good. Khys, if you will ..." And he motioned to
a place on his left.

“Thank you," Vedrast said when the dharen had seated
himself, his back against the draped windows.

“Now, Estri, I am going to sedate you. It will not be
painful, and the effects will last only a short time." And he reached over and
put both his hands around my neck, fingers meeting where spine joins skull. I
felt only a drowsiness, an urge to sleep, and a receding of sensation. I
concentrated upon staying upright. My body was weighty, recalcitrant.

Vaguely, I knew the manłs hands had left me, and that Khysłs
had replaced them with his own. And I saw, blurred, that when his hands came
away, they bore with them my band of restraint. But I had only enough strength
to keep myself erect.

The arrarłs hands were again upon me, and he peered at my
throat for a time. I wanted desperately to lie down and sleep.

Then they asked me of hulions. And I heard myself answer,
speak of what had, this very morning, occurred. I was asked to remember in detail,
and I did.

Then did Vedrast ask what the paper I had read had brought
to mind. And of the arrar Sereth, did he question me. I answered him as best I
could, that I had only once met him, and that I had, upon occasion, dreamed of
him, as I had much of my namesakełs life.

“Why do you think," said Vedrast, “you have those dreams? Do
they trouble you?"

I shook my head to clear it. Something within screamed that
my answers were important, even crucial, but all I wanted was to lay my head in
the dharenłs lap.

“No, they do not trouble me." I struggled the words out upon
an unwieldy tongue. “I have no past of my own. Hers was of great interest to
me. I chose her name, also. I would be as she, but I know what was in that book
was hers, and not mine."

“I see," said Vedrast. I squinted, that I might see KhysÅ‚s
face, but I could make nothing of it.

“Tell me, now, about the child you bore."

I did so, seeing the hateful beast, remembering my swollen
belly.

“And about Khys," he pressed me,

I tried to rise. I could not. I could feel him, strolling
through my memories, kicking what did not interest him from his path. My mind
was filled with tangled thoughts, impressions, a patterning I could see extending
out into the unborn time.

“Tell me," said Vedrast, his amber eyes, close to mine,
prying.

“I serve him," I whispered. “I want what time he will give
me, nothing else," I said. Then I felt Vedrast at our couching. Enraged, I met
him there boldly, with a skill I had not known I had. And I drove him back. The
arrar, shaken, retreated.

Khys replaced the band upon my neck gently. I felt his
second touch, tightening it. And his third, upon my forehead, and my lethargy
was gone, lifting like some oppressive gravity just repealed.

Vedrast, shaking his head back and forth, rose and pulled
back the draperies, staring out into the waning day.

“Perhaps you can hold her," he said grudgingly.

“Doubtless I can hold her," Khys said, stroking my hair. I
had been without the band, and I had felt the difference. I turned to him.

“I would do anything to have that freedom, to see, and hear,
and feel as you do," I breathed, fighting tears.

“And I would love to have you whole," Khys said. “When the
time comes, rest assured, it will be done."

“Did I pass?" I asked him fearfully. “Will I be eliminated?"

Khys laughed. Vedrast turned from the window, solemn-faced.

“Answer her, then, O dour one," directed the dharen.

“One does not usually give the subject the results," he temporized.

“Make an exception." And the dharenÅ‚s tone had lost its humor.

“It is not up to us, in truth. You have heard that. If it
were, I might be tempted to precipitate some crisis and see how you handled it."
Vedrast turned to Khys. “There is no use in this, I will send you a written report."

“You will make one before you leave here. And bring it
before me, that I may see what it contains, and I may sign it. I may not. At
any rate, I would hear what will be in it." His hand, upon my back, stopped moving.

“This is a farce!" the arrar exploded.

“Indeed, as is all of civilization. But it is workable. As
one farcical primate with delusions of spirituality to another, let me adjure
you to walk with greater care in my presence. I might be tempted to break you
in half and feed the remains to the hulions. Now, in ten words or less, how do
you find her?" the dharen said, rising.

“Neutralized. Reasonably adjusted. Potentially dangerous.
May I go?" His words hissed from fat, full lips upon a fine spray.

“Go, then, and make your report. I will expect you to attend
me at moonłs meal."

“I have business elsewhere," said Vedrast, stepping
carefully over my outstretched legs.

“Cancel it. We have more pressing business here."

The arrar wheeled and made exaggerated obeisance, strode
angrily from the keep, slamming the thala doors behind him.

Khys went and secured the locks, and when he turned, he was
grinning widely.

He came and stood over me, fists upon his hips.

“Still dreaming of Sereth, are you? Perhaps I will give you
to him for a night. Would you like that?"

I shuddered and crept through the cushions, back against the
window. I shook my head repeatedly. I wondered what was going to happen to me.
Had I been assessed? Would the recommendation upon my papers be the same as the
arrar Serethłs? I had no hope but Khysłs protection. I thought of Vedrast,
trembling.

“Speak to me," he ordered, squatting down, his bulk closing
the alcove into a cube.

“No, dharen," I whispered, cowering amid the rust and
evening cushions.

“What?"

“No. I would not like it. Yes, I will serve you however you
wish." I would not cry or scream. I dug my nails into my palms and took deep
breaths. I thought what it had been like without the band, then I tried not to
think.

“Your life," he said, stretching out among the cushions, “rests
in my hands alone. Such decisions have always rested with me. They might recommend.
But they, in their turn, are also assessed. The council had no power but what I
have given it. Over you, I have given it none."

And I looked at him, turned sideways, and knew that he was a
man who gave away nothing. He had ruled Silistra so long, so well, so silked
was the hand of steel, that few upon the outside conceived him to be a living
being. They quoted him, venerated chaldra, threw yris-tera to guide them in
their lives. They thought him more a force than a man, some long-dead priest of
justice and truth.

And that priest of justice and truth cornered me against the
window, that I might testify to his manhood and be blessed by his use.

When it was over, he slept, and I lay beside him, rubbing my
hipbones. I thought long of fear and love, and wondered how I would have felt
about him had things been otherwise. But they were as they were, and I found no
solace in such speculation. I turned and laid my head against his shoulder. He
growled in his sleep, and my heart scrabbled for escape. Partly wakened, he put
an arm across my chest, pulled me to him. Half-thrilled, half-terrified, I lay
hardly breathing. Alone so long, I had dreamed of just this. Yet, he had
structured my experiences to suit him. Doubtless, how I felt now was more his
choice than mine. I fell asleep finally, upon the uneasy conclusion that love,
no matter what its roots, feels real when it is upon one. There seemed to be,
then, no way to test it, for I loved my life the most. If Khys had taught me
not all of love, he had taught me what he desired, and that would keep me
alive. If he kept me alive, he could have my body, my mind, my love. I would
deal, somehow, with my fear. Perhaps, I thought, drowsing, I might even wake up
free of it. And I dreamed I saw with the Keepress, she all I had ever
envisioned hermagnificent, haughty, her skin and eyes aglow with the fatherłs
fire. Upon a barren crag, she sat with me. Khys, she said, deserved better. I,
she judges, shortchanged us both, with my conception. I argued that it was not
my conception, but that put upon me by others, those around me. And she stood
and stalked about that peak, vital, uninhibited. She demanded to know the
identity of her who inhabited my body. I was a woman, born to flesh, she
stormed. Female by birthright, she called me, and deaf to the law within. I am
no animal, I raged. Then you are not of the living, she said, and knelt down,
her wide-set molten eyes glowing, her tiny winged brows knit with concern. The
wind whipped around her, keening. It reminded me of my place, and before whom I
sat.

So did the Keepress come to me, and adjure me not gainsay
myself. Live your heritage, she demanded fiercely. Do not make judgment, only
listen, and live. Make no less of yourself than you are, and she turned me
within, to see the fullness there.

And when Khys woke me, entering me from behind, I found a
different way to move against him. As the Keepress, I leaned into his cupping
hands, clutched him, let my body couch him, unconstrained. I was not disappointing,
to him or my brazen self.

“Perhaps one should not query such a gift," he said, wiping
sweat from his upper lip, “but one may surely remark upon its quality." His
eyes narrowed to slits.

“Did I not please you?"

He laughed. “Is that what you call it?"

“I love you," I reminded him, running my hands over my taut
belly.

“You assured me of that before we slept." His finger touched
my lips. I nipped it.

“I had a dream," I said, remembering.

He cocked his head. “May you have them more often," he said,
after a pause. But he stared at me, disquieted. He reached out a hand,
caressing, and my body leaped, joyous to his touch. He took his hand away and
rose up on his knees.

“Sit up," he said.

I curled my legs around me, leaned upon one straight arm. It
was not my way of sitting, nor a way Khys had taught me. My breasts and belly,
and the curves of my hips and waist, were well displayed. I threw my hair over
my right breast, and it fell between my slightly parted thighs.

He surveyed me minutely. I found it exciting, that he looked
at me so.

“I have meetings," he said finally. “They will take the rest
of the day and most of the evening." His voice was level, only.

“Take me with you, please," I begged, wide-eyed, leaning forward.
“I would not be here alone. I will do nothing to displease you."

He rose up without answer. I waited, following him with my
eyes, my breath held. Near the hidden bookshelf, he pushed back a thala panel.
From within it, he took a night-blue robe, and dark breech, and sandals. I wondered
how many of the common-held forereaders he had couched. Doubtless, many. I
found a joy in his movements, that of a womanłs eyes upon a fine male.

Belting on his chald, he came around to face me, his arched
brows slightly raised. “I think, upon another thought, that I will allow you to
accompany me. What rises within you has taken my interest. Clothe yourself."

I bowed my head, smiling, and went searching my one garment.
When I had tied it at the neck and hips, he beckoned me close.

Amusement flickered in his eyes. He looked me up and down
and bade me turn. Then he untied the słkimłs strap, knotted behind my neck, and
relied it loosely. He pulled the second tie tighter across my hips.

“It will have to do," he said. “I must get you some other
garment if you are going to sit to council." His manner drove me deep into my
meager store of Stothric teachings, where I searched the ice of distance to
soothe my indignation. He did not fail to mark it.

“Be silent," he admonished. “Be obedient. If you do not
perform creditably, I assure you, you will regret it." His hand went around my
throat. By it, he pulled me roughly against him, into those arms that could
have crushed me lifeless.

“Yes, dharen," I breathed when he released me. I shivered.

Beside him, I walked with attention, proudly. Unaccountably,
I laughed at my fears. Doubtless, he might kill me. Rightfully, I feared him.
All women fear such men, who know them. Such men, who do not fear themselves,
must always be feared. But that, also, is the attraction of them, the fearsome
ones, who take from us what is only such menłs to take, and not a womanłs to
give. A woman may give her body, but a man must demand the rest, that which is
his alone. A woman, Khys once said, is like owkahenthe time coming to bewhich
is either what a strong man may make of it or what a weak one wiil be made by
it.

“Heed yourself, Estri," he advised, cryptic, as he stopped before
a door and reached across me to push it open. His robed arm brushed my breasts,
and they responded. I had been considering myselfwalking the most priveleged
keep at the Lake of Horns, beside the dharen of all Silistra. At the will of
such a man, my best would never be too much. Even Estri the Keepress, my
namesake, who had found herself often overqualified in her dealings with men,
had, before this man, fallen. She would, I was sure, have approved of me, in my
new perspective. My freshly wakened body preened itself, much aroused.

The room behind those thala doors was seven-cornered. One
great window, dark-hung, looked out upon the Lake of Horns. The ceiling, high
above our heads, was of hammered gold, ruddy and gleaming, lit by clusters of entrapped
stars.

I found myself trembling, chilled, as if the cool gol under
my feet was instead colored ice. Upon that strange symbol, of a bursting
spiral, I turned, slowly, full around. Khys, by the window, watched me intently.
Again I surveyed it, that empty hall of gold and thala. At either side of the
double doors stood high-chalded arrars, lake-born by their fire-licked skin,
still as statues, in the blue-black of Khysłs service.

The dharen called me to him. My limbs, as I obeyed him,
seemed numb.

“I have been here before," I murmured to him, and the room
took my voice and returned it to me, louder, echo-edged.

“In your dreams, doubtless," the dharen said, indicating that
I should kneel before the window.

As he taught me, I sat there, upon my heels, my head bent,
my mind whirling. After a time, I was conscious of his eyes no longer upon me,
that he went and spoke with his attendants.

And then began the audiences. As each man was announced and
presented to him, the supplicant knelt before the dharen and put his lips to
the masterłs instep, as I had been taught to do.

The first of them, a Day-Keeper, was named Ristran, dharener
of hide diet. Attired as a Darsti builder, with his red-haired head shaved in
the lateral stripes of the period of history in which he specialized, he made
obeisance to Khys, who did not see fit to allow him to rise, but kept him upon
his knees the whole time.

Of Astria, the high Day-Keeper spoke to the lord of his
kind, and of those problems he faced with some who had taken helsars there.

And Khys was displeased. He adjured the dharener to send him
no more excuses, no matter how inventive, as to why he could not deal with the
helsar situation himself. And of his misdeeds, was Khys aware. Cruelly, as
Ristran attempted to explain himself, did Khys restrain him. Remembering the
horrors of the dharenłs flesh trap, I felt compassion rise up in me for the Astrian
dharener. Helsars, Khys instructed him, were not to be apportioned. Those that
lay still upon the plain of Astria awaited certain individuals, for whom they
had been intended.

And the dharener Ristran, head bowed, only listened as Khys
instructed him to open his school to those who had taken helsar teachings, or
were about to take them. The dharener objected. He wanted no servers, no coin
girls, no weapons masters of threxmen, in his care.

“What am I supposed to do with them?" he inquired, his voice
atremble with fear and rage, still upon his knees.

“Train them, form them into a group, use them. At least
that," Khys ordered, observing that though some who had taken helsars could
barely read or write, they would soon be possessed of much greater skills. Further,
he demanded an accounting of all those involved in helsar studies. He would
have it, he instructed Ristran, within a pass. And then, in his most formidable
voice, he informed the dharener that he was aware of attempts by those of hide
diet to claim certain helsars, without regard to their rightful partners. If,
said Khys, he heard again of such misdeads, he personally would put Ristran in
a band of restraint.

And the dharener looked up at him in disbelief. And at me,
with an expression I could not name. I saw his limbs suddenly tremble, as Khys released
his flesh again to his control. Stiffly he rose to his feet and backed the long
way to the thala doors, his eyes lowered, deferential.

The second petitioner that day, Brinar first fourth, was
admitted even as Ristran made his exit. To him, a man called Brenath, adviser
to Well Astria and Port Astrin, the Wellłs dependent city, Khys allowed, as he
begged, certain aid in the rebuilding with which he was concerned. I learned,
shifting there upon my aching knees, much of the state of Well Astria. I learned
that in the holocaust of Amarsa, Å‚695, the coastline of Astria had been
markedly altered. The Liaisonłs Port, where off-world ships are accommodated,
was only now ready to be reopened, in its new location. Also I heard tell of
the new Well-Keepress, a forereader, hide-born, who had been installed there.
And my discomfort, unexplainable, was such that Khys turned from the supplicant,
his eyes, half-lidded, eloquent warning. I twisted my fingers together and
sought to calm myself. The woman, named Yrisia Ateje diet Vedrast, was surely
no concern of mine. Yet, mention of her, and her installation as high couch,
discomfited me. Once more Khys turned. I saw him through tears, blurred, come
upon me unbidden. That he might not chastise me, I put my face to the gol. He
turned away once more. I found, when my resentments had cooled, that I had
drawn blood with my nails upon my palms.

The next to seek him was a man high among Slayers, Rin diet
Iron, of the Slayersł Seven of Astria. He was a much-scarred, grizzled veteran,
in the end of his prime, and his distaste for the bending of knee and kissing
of foot Khys required of him was ill-concealed. The Slayerłs eyes kept returning
to me, and they were blue and troubled when I met them.

He spoke, also, of helsars, at Khysłs prompting, abstractedly,
as if he had forgotten why it was he had come here, and wished he had not done
so. He explained, with the aid of a man unused to problems beyond his power to
solve, the perplexity of his men.

“Helsar talents," said Rin diet Iron, in a voice raspy and
solemn, “seem more a hindrance than help to those Slayers who have acquired
them. And when one needs them, in dealing with renegades also possessed of such
skills, the carnage accompanying their use waxes out of proportion to all sense
of fitness. I have seen men hurl chunks of mountain at each other. I have seen
altercations between two take thirty to their deaths. The sort around Astria is
so complexly muddled from all who wander about owkahen, none can get any use of
it. My men whet their blades and long for the days when they could use them.
Only a few find their new weapons welcome, and study their use. Most, myself
among them, feel this whole situation unseemly. I would be rid of these gifts,
but if I were somehow freed of them, I would be at the mercy of those who wield
them with no conscience!" He stopped, spread his hands wide, dropped them. It
was obvious he felt that even Khys had, for him, no solution.

Khys instructed him to send, in groups of twenty, his
troubled Slayers to the Lake of Horns, to stay a pass, each group, and take
instruction.

Dismissed, the Slayer got stiffly to his feet, backed wordlessly
from Khysłs sight.

The fourth supplicant was an off-worlder. I looked at him
with interest, having never seen a MÅ‚ksakkan. He had no horns or tendrils, no
tufted ears. His skin, except for an olive cast, was much like Silistran skin.
He was not small, as I had conceived MÅ‚ksakkans, and his hair was harth-black.
Ponderous he was, and overly muscled for my taste, with eyes like dirty ice. He
wore a tight-fitting, strangely cut breech, black trimmed with gold, and a
white tunic under his Silistran cloak. As he walked toward Khys, I saw that he
limped pronouncedly, favoring his left side.

When he raised his eyes from Khysłs feet, he stared at me
openly from under bushy brows. I straightened my back, meeting his gaze. My
legs ached so from sitting upon them, I could think of little else.

His name was Khaf-Re Dellin, and he was Liaison First to
Silistra. I had heard of him. He was before Khys with a formal request for
inquiry into the complicity of a certain Slayer who had been upon his home
planet, Młksakka, at the time of the Młksakkan adjustersł death. His fear of
Khys, I decided, must be second only to my own.

The dharen strode around him, where he knelt upon the spiral
set into the gol floor. He suggested to Dellin that he look among his own for
his culprit. He had, he said, been informed of the manner of the Młksakkanłs
death, and found it not Silistran.

Dellin, diffident in the extreme, pleaded for a statement to
send to his superiors.

That statement Khys gave him, an observation upon the
harmonic workings of the Weathers of Life, caused him to cringe upon his knees.
Thrice I caught his eyes upon me, and it seemed that he found me offensive in
his sight.

Khys also noticed, and bade him explain his fascination, at
which time the Liaison begged to be excused. The dharen allowed it.

“Hold the rest," he instructed those who attended his doors,
and strode across the chamber to where I knelt battling the strangeness that
threatened to engulf my sanity. I first knew it when he put the flat of his
hand on my head.

I quailed beneath his touch, fearing flesh-lock, discipline
... I knew not what. My mind, despite my best efforts, was filled to
overflowing with resentment and hatred.

Instead, he bade me rise. And I felt calmed, my hostility
fading as circulation returned to my numbed legs. I rubbed my knees. “What
think you of our Liaison?" queried Khys.

And I felt invaded, and did not bother to answer him aloud.
He had his answer, I knew, from my mind.

His aristocratic face expressionless, Khys toyed with his
chald.

“You asked to come here," he pointed out. “Shall I return
you?"

“To my confinement?" I spat. “No. I would rather even this."

And he indicated that I take up again my place before the
window, which now showed the sunłs set. Again sitting on my heels, under his
scrutiny, I flushed hot with shame. A decoration for his audience room, I had become.
And I felt much-fallen, though from what, I did not know.

He strode, his dark robe swirling around him, to the arrars
at the doors. One, nodding, left the audience chamber. The other crossed his
arms over his chest.

Six more men kissed the dharenłs feet that evening, seeking
his favor, his council. The night stars glittered in the moonless sky before he
was through with them. My stomach growled and rolled upon itself. It occurred
to me that the dharen might not feel hunger, that such a man perhaps did not
need food. But I knew different, from a night I had supped with him. And then I
was not sure at all that that night had ever occurred. Looking at his back, I
seemed to see the bursting spiral there, scintillant. And he was another, so
great that Khys was only a poor copy. Around me, I saw not thala but
thick-leaved greenery, and above me was not gold, but the glory of the universe,
not paltry as time lets us see it, but brilliant and much multiplied, its
beginning and ending and all motion between chronicled there.

And I found that my hands squeezed my head, spread-fingered,
and that I rocked back and forth, moaning softly, with Khysłs concerned face
close to mine. The tenth supplicant was no longer in the chamber, and the two
arrars stood just behind their master, eyes distant.

I could not look at him, though he demanded it. When I did,
his features danced and changed in the mist. I heard my own voice, begging aid.
I am not here, I thought desperately. The dharenłs flat palm cracked my head to
one side, then the other. I barely felt it; rather was I conscious of the
different sights before me.

Then I saw that golden ceiling, and the entrapped stars upon
it, and knew that he carried me, for they were where the floor should be. Then
I was not there, but elsewhere, and I bore that beast again, saw the cord between
us cut, heard it scream.

It screamed and screamed. I felt something upon my mouth,
and the screaming, mercifully, stopped. I heard my name, and forced my lids
apart. And closed them tight against what I saw. But he would not let me be. I
could feel him, within me, working. I fought him. Better to drift, forever. He
would not allow it. He was stronger than I. He pulled me back. I felt the couch
silks under me, and knew my chance was lost.

“Estri," said Khys, “look at me."

I did so. His face did not dance. The mist did not obscure
him, nor the expanse of his keep, nor Carth, whose worried face peered over his
shoulder.

“No." I denied it allthe madness, the hatred, the other I
had seen. “Help. Please help me," I pleaded, in the face of what I feared most
of all.

“Estri," said Khys. I met his eyes, unresisting, that he
might heal my accursed madness. And it was as if one stood over a clear, bottomless
well in which the sense of onełs life floated, waiting to be dipped and drunk.
I felt my heart rate slow, my blood chemistries come into balance. His fingers
came together at the base of my spine; I partook of his strength. His face, as
he worked, was transfigured, compassionate.

He sat back, again dharen of Silistra. “Rise," he directed.
I did, and dizziness assailed me. But the keep did not dissolve, and Khysłs
grasp on my arm was very real.

“Thank you, Carth," said Khys, not turning. “Send Vedrast my
apologies. I will not be long here." And Carth, his brow still furrowed, left
by the outer doors.

“Now," he said gravely, “let us discuss what has just
occurred."

“I could not help it," I whimpered. “I am trying. Surely you
know that. I cannot help it."

“There is no way out. There is no way but mine. There has
never been." He spoke to that within me which still defied him. “I will not allow
another of these fits. You will, should you repeat this performance, find
yourself once more stripped, and I will start anew." And though I did not know
then what he meant, the fine hairs on my body raised themselves. I clenched my
teeth to stop their chatter.

He smiled grimly. “Your sensing is truly superb. The worst
is yet to come." He patted me delicately upon the head.

At the door, he looked back at me. “Have a pleasant evening,"
he said. “Tasa." And I heard the tumblers click as he locked the doors behind
him. The stars dimmed.

I sat there, stunned, for a time. Then I went and tried the
doors, both those to the hall and those to my chamber. All were secure. The
trail gear and weapons were no longer upon the milky gol table. That panel I
had seen him push inward did not respond to my touch.

I poured myself a bowl of kifra, to stay my shaking limbs
and drive the chill from me. Sorely I had displeased him. I wondered what the
night enths held in store.

“It is not fair," I said aloud, tossing the empty bowl to
the rust-toned mat. It was not right for him to punish me. Surely the madness
was punishment enough. I went to the windowed alcove, stared out at the night.
The city was reflected in the lake. Another time, I would have been taken by
the viewłs beauty. There was a wind, bobbling and rippling the lakełs surface
and the lights upon it. How long I sat with my leg thrown up on the sill, I do
not know. At one point I stripped off my słkim and threw it, petulant, among
the cushions. At another, I thought I heard footsteps, and hurriedly reclaimed
it, tying it as Khys preferred, tight over the hips, loose at the breasts. The
knots of queasi-ness in my stomach I attributed to so long without food. I was
dozing, my shoulder pressed against the cool pane, when the doors opened. I did
not turn. The ceiling stars acknowledged him. I continued to stare into the
night.

He came up behind me, in the alcove amid the cushions.
Taking a deep breath, my sweaty palms clenched, I turned to face his anger.

And pressed back against the window; Khys had made good his
word.

Before me stood the arrar Sereth. He wore a night-dark robe,
loosely belted. Shadows hovered in his hollow cheeks, danced in the scar that
traced its way from temple to jaw. Khysłs height, but spare was the dharenłs
most deadly weapon.

I went down on the cushions to him, my lips to his instep,
as Khys required. Abruptly, he jerked his foot away. Confused, my knees resting
on my own hair, I stared up at him. He squatted down by my side.

“Do not fear me," he said, tossing his head. His hand found
my shoulder. It seemed that his fingers trembled. “He asked me to come here, to
use you." His voice, through unmoving lips, was very soft. “I will not, if you
do not wish it." So gently spoke this man who ripped out throats with his bare
hands, who got well-women with child and refused them. A deep V formed above
his high-bridged nose.

I studied him, his clenched jaws, his tight-drawn face, all
line and bone and scar. And I peered close, at those eyes searching mine. He
was an arrar, I reminded myself. No doubt my thoughts were open to him. “You
are my punishment," I offered timidly. “I will get worse, should I refuse to
serve you." My words came out barely louder than his. This man, whose touch I
had craved in dreams, scared me witless. He retrieved his hand, examined it as
if it held the answer he sought.

“Estri," he said hoarsely, “do you not at all recall me?" He
touched his fingers to my chin, ran them up my bruised cheek. His eyes narrowed
as I flinched.

“I recall you," I whispered. “You once took me to my
chamber. You would not stay with me. You asked that I leave you be."

He stood, crossed to the kifra pitcher, scooping up my
discarded bowl along the way in an easy, fluid motion. He moved like a wild
thing, not like Khys, whose dignity ever weighted his flesh. He returned with
two filled bowls and offered one out, hesitantly, as if afraid I would refuse
him. I reached up and accepted it, trying to smile.

Those eyes took stock of me as if I were some carnivorełs
long-trailed dinner. Hungry was that gaze, with a hunger I had never seen in a
man.

He sat beside me, cross-legged, and sipped his bowl, holding
it in both hands. His eyes never left mine.

“How is it with him?" he asked finally.

“As he wishes it," I said, looking into my kifra, swirling
it around.

“Does he often beat you?"

“He seldom does anything to me. This is the first I have
seen him since before I birthed his son."

He was silent, then. When he emptied his bowl, he took it
and refilled it. I pondered, watching, what he would do if I refused him.

“I wonder"he sighed as he sat once more“if he wants me to
move against him. You would not know, would you?" His eyes were very bright.
When he had drained the bowl, he threw it against the far wall so hard it rebounded
to the middle of the room.

“Arrar;" I murmured, “it would be a kindness if you would do
what you came here to do. I would not face his wrath."

“I doubt if I can," he said dryly, and laughed, a sighing
laugh like the winter wind rattling my tower window.

“I am sorry," I said. “I am afraid it is my fault." And I
got up on my knees and stripped off my single garment. Before my nudity, he sat
hard-eyed. It occurred to me that this man, who had once refused me, doubtless
had had better.

“Sereth," I whispered, “I will try very hard to please you."

He ran his hand across his brow. Then he unbelted his robe,
shrugged it off his shoulders. Seeing him in his maleness, I shrank back.

“Come here, little one," he said, and took me into his arms.
“So long," he groaned, his head buried in my breasts. He called me by name,
repeatedly. After he had spent himself within me, he raised his head, and his
eyes were red and swollen. I had never seen a man cry in orgasm. Khys certainly
did not. And he had groaned strange sounds while about his stroke.

He lay half upon me a long time, his face buried in my hair,
unspeaking. My fingers traced his chald, soldered around his hips, touched the
carapace of muscle there. Wandering, they found themselves upon a wide scar
running along his right side. He took my wrist, pulling my hand away.

“You got that upon the plain of Astria, did you not?" I
asked softly.

“Estri?" he queried, suddenly leaning over me, his knees at
either side of my hips.

“You are very famous, you know. And very different from
Khys."

He sighed and kissed my forehead lightly. “It is good to be
with you," he said, rising. “I only wish I understood his intent." And he went
to the window, sat with one leg thrown up on the sill.

Upon impulse, I joined him there, my fingers finding work
upon the knotted muscles of his shoulders. Leaning into it, he laughed softly. “We
have come to a strange pass, you and I," he remarked.

“Arrar, do you not read thoughts?"

“Not when I can help it. And not those of a woman."

“I read CarthÅ‚s report to Khys concerning you," I offered.

“Did you?" He slid out from under my hands. “What did it
say?"

“That Khys should either eliminate you or seek to pacify you
in some way."

“This situation could be part of either," he said after a
time, in a voice like steel scraping ice. “You have risked his anger for me.
Why?"

I regarded my ankles, sunk amid the cushions. My fingers attacked
each other. I had doubtless done so.

“I do not know," I murmured. I sat beside him upon the sill,
our thighs touching. “They say I am mad. Sometimes I am. I often do and think
things that make no sense." Though I tried to hide my disquiet, my voice was
husked and shaking. He put an arm around me, and I laid my head upon his shoulder.

“You are not mad," he whispered, almost angrily. “It is only
what has befallen you, and the way he uses you, that makes you think so."

“In his way, he cares for me," I excused him.

He spat a word I did not know.

“What does that mean?" I asked him.

“It means that Khys cares for nothing but his hestsNothing."

“Do you think," I ventured, suddenly near tears, “that he
will let you come to me again?" The room flickered. I fought it and the aching
sadness that came upon me. For a moment I saw him differently in my mindat
another time, another place.

“I do not know," he said, distant. “I will if I can."

But I cared no more for the answer. I slid from the sill and
curled myself among the cushions, sobbing. I heard my voice, begging his aid.
And he gathered me up in his arms and rocked me like a child, speaking to me in
a language I did not know. When I was drained of tears, he again couched me, savagely.

“Clothe yourself," he said, slapping me upon the rump. “I
have done all I can do for you." He fished up his breech, his robe, his
sandals.

“Where are you going?" I asked, tying my sÅ‚kim about me.

“I am going to take you, as I have been instructed, to the
dharen," he said, his brown eyes intent upon my face.

And though I tried to hide my fear, I know he saw it. I
pulled my fingers from where they clawed at the band upon my neck, smoothing
the słkim over my hips with them.

His brows knit, he pushed me lightly toward the door.

“I should not," he said, locking it again behind us, “speak
to you of these things, but I will. Do not let him terrorize you so. All
masters pass. And you have, as a woman, certain constraints you might use upon
him. If I were you, I would do so."

I looked up at him, uncomprehending.

“I have loved you," he added, low, “since I first saw you.
We both live. For now, that must be enough. If ever I can aid you, know that I
will surely do so."

And I walked upon awkward legs beside him, each footfall a
surprise as my weight thudded down. I wondered what to do. Khys, who had
fathered my child, had given me to this man, who would destroy him.

“Khys is my couch-mate," I reminded him, this stranger,
before whom I had exposed my madness, weeping and begging for aid. His hand
kneaded the back of my neck as we passed through the hall by the hulion
tapestry. And the touch reminded me of his way with my body, so different, so
much more, than the dharenłs.

I thought again of Khys, and by the time Sereth pushed open
the doors to the dharenłs study, I was trembling. Within that room,
mural-ceilinged, of thala and silver, he sat at table with Vedrast. I knew the
room. My child had been conceived herenot upon one of the six narrow couches,
but upon the silvery mat, beneath the dark-draperied windows. Tapers were lit
upon the round table, as they had been that night, though clusters of entrapped
stars hovered high in the keepłs four corners.

Khys and Vedrast rose, bringing their bowls with them, and
seated themselves upon the thala-toned couches. Sereth propelled me gently forward.

I went to the dharen, brushed my lips against his sandal,
sat back upon my heels facing him.

“Sit down, Sereth," ordered Khys, indicating a place at his
right. Sereth slid down upon his spine, crossing his arms over his chest, his
head low.

Khysłs glance met Vedrastłs, who now lounged supine on the
couch to the dharenłs left.

I shifted, and he took note, scowling, as he turned to
Sereth.

“How did you find her, arrar?" asked Khys solicitously.

“Much diminished," he said, almost inaudibly, meeting KhysÅ‚s
gaze, unflinching.

“But not so much so that you would not again couch her,"
Khys predicted, over steepled fingers.

“No, not that much," Sereth agreed. His face was pale with
concentration.

“You did well for me, in Dritira. And in hide diet, that
which you did outshone my brightest hopes. From what you did upon MÅ‚ksakka,
there have been repercussions, but through no fault of yours. We were hoping
that this"and he indicated me“might please you. We are not ungracious." His
eyes barely open, Khys dug at Sereth. And that onełs scar grew livid, and his
body stiffened. Sweat glistened upon his face. But he did not take his eyes
from Khysłs. Between them, the air grew wavery, sparking sporadically.

Vedrast stood abruptly, his shoulders hunched, his face distraught.

And then, amazingly, Khys laughed out loud, and extended his
hand to Sereth.

The arrar wiped his sweat-slicked face before he grasped it.

“When would you like this thing done?" he asked.

“Now!"

And even as Sereth sprang from his place, Vedrast seemed to
shake off his paralysis, whirling. They grappled briefly, Serethłs arm at the
manłs throat from behind. His other hand, I saw as he kicked Vedrastłs legs out
from under him and dropped him to his knees, held an open metal circlet.

Khys leaned forward with a sigh as Sereth stepped back from
Vedrast, whom he had put in a band of restraint. That one, upon his knees,
clawed at his throat, groaning his negation. I sympathized with him.

“And what you just did for me," approved the dharen quietly.
“I have been trying to get done for a number of years."

Sereth grinned at him, his fists upon his hips. But his
eyes, upon the piteously moaning arrar, were bleak.

“Take him, now, and dispose of him," Khys ordered.

Sereth, no longer smiling, bent to the restrained arrar,
speaking softly. He tossed his head and raised the man up by force. Those eyes
in that slack-jawed face were vacant. Vedrast, upon Serethłs arm, stumbled from
the room, mewling.

I retrieved my fingers from my own throat, from my own tight
band. Khys secured the doors Sereth had left ajar. Upon his way back to me he
reclaimed a bowl, its contents spilled upon the mat, upset by the arrarłs
struggle. His movements were very different from Serethłs.

The whole time, I had not moved. I am well-trained, I
thought to myself wryly as Khys again seated himself. I felt very small and
helpless before him.

“And what do you think of all that has occurred, my little
saiisa?"

“The man went mad when the band was put upon him." I quivered,
upon my knees.

“Shock, only. If he were allowed to live, he would accustom
to the silence. He had a great talent, and the use of it for more than a thousand
years."

“And you needed Sereth to do it?"

Khys laughed. “I am still attempting to test that manÅ‚s
limitations. Only such as Sereth, with his oddly developed skills, could have restrained
Vedrast. He has had that band, keyed to his touch, ready, since he returned
from MÅ‚ksakka. But he did not know for whom it was intended." He chuckled,
stretching. “I have long desired to see him work his craft."

“You value him highly," I commented.

“I have appraised him fairly. One must see what is, no
matter how markedly it differs from onełs expectations."

And then it was that he turned his attention upon me,
blatantly invading my mind. Cruelly he visited himself upon my memories, upon
my couching of the arrar. His probe I could not stop, as I had Vedrastłs. When
I tried to run, I found myself flesh-locked. Then I stood aside, within my own
mind, and docilely watched him take what he wanted from my experiences. And of
all Sereth had said to me, Khys apprised himself. And of how it was for me at
the arrarłs hands, did he take note.

When he released me, I let myself fall forward, lying
passive until the tremors attendant upon flesh lock had passed. An informer
upon the arrar Sereth, he had made me, and even upon myself. How, I demanded of
myself desperately, can one live this way? And my thought reverberated in the
hollow, ringing emptiness within me, coming back unchanged, unanswered.

He called me. I rolled upon my side and looked up at him,
miserably. I had not the strength to do more. Or the inclination. I waited,
passive, for him to make known his will. There was no more rage or horror or
hatred or fear in me. I was only tired. One can fight just so long a battle
that cannot be won.

“Good," mused Khys, as if to himself. “Soon you will be
ready."

II: The Wages of Forgetfulness

I knelt upon the bursting spiral, in that seven-cornered
room, before Khysłs council. Or upon seven spirals, in seven such rooms, spaced
the length and breadth of Silistra. One corner was empty. In one stood Khyshis
flesh-and-blood presence. In the remaining five, the flame-licked figures
flickered, behind each a window looking out upon the part of Silistra in his
care. They were each in their places, and here also: the seven alcoves, identical;
the seven spirals, overlayed; the five of Khysłs council, bicorporate. And
Iwas I seven also, where I crouched upon the symbol that focused these widespread
keeps into one?

There was a feeling to inhabiting that highly charged space,
one of being enwrapped, encased, embalmed in crackling force. I wore no band of
restraint. I had been sedated, but such was no longer necessary. I seemed, to myself
in my own vision, neck-deep in the congruent spirals, the arms twisted around
me like some great slitsa. I could see my breasts, my knees, the true spiral
upon the true floor, only through the others, semi-present, atop it. I averted
my eyes. The sensation brought upheaval to my stomach and water to my mouth.

The keep wrenched sideways, churned, and it was no longer
Khys that was flesh, but another. My knees were invisible, imprisoned,
swallowed by the gol floor. Cold shriveled the edges of every cell of my body.
The golden one smiled at me. Make heat, or die. Simple. I made it, using the
pain I felt to kindle the conflagration. The crown of my head was that firełs
fuel, and around the flames my interrogator paced, appraising. Damage he found
there, and damage he did. Cringing, I received it, for I knew not how to resist.

“Speak to me of the sevenfold spirit!" my tormentor demanded
of me.

I could not. There was, within me, only a yawning chasm
where he sought. But he brought to be in that place a blue-glowing spark, and
by the light of it, to him certain things were revealed. And I watched, without
understanding, as he took what pleased him of those truths, for they were in a
language I did not know. Written upon the walls of soul, sequencers for the
electrochemical devices of power lay open to him. Within me, they had long
lain. Great shocks of force ripped at those wallsblinding heat; and what remained
was melted, charred. The wreckage dripped, steaming, as I was passed to another
hand.

The secondłs touch was as smooth as gol, and he bade me fear
him not, but make for him certain statements of mind that he called shaping. At
his bidding I saw a scarred place with those skills encysted beneath, but I
could not do more than gape. Once, I might have shaped. My ears heard a
wailing, and knew it mine. Kindly, gently, he passed me to the third.

And I was more deeply imprisoned within the spiral at that
onełs hands, my substance again screaming as it was dragged into another realm,
where the physical third held court. It was his pleasure to dismantle, within
me, a certain projection of my being, like tenuous water-cast gold extending
out into the unborn time. As he was about it, a wind came up, roaring.
Extrusions of gale whipped around him, bound him there. The fourth hastened to
aid him, weighted down by the others, whose hands were all joined across the
abyss wherein the wind held one of their number captive. Straining, they
extricated him, a molecule at a time, from chaos.

Then did Khys reclaim my flesh into his realm. I heard the
fifth, who had gainsaid any further exploration of me, tirading unintelligibly.
Though I had no understanding of their words, I knew with a certainty more
chilling than the void-touch between their keeps that they debated my right to
live. And Khys stood for me, against them, while I knelt, dizzied, weakened,
within the spiralsł whirl.

One by one, he reviled them. Layer by layer, the spirals
thinned, vanished, each with the window alcove and its occupant, until there
was only one window in the seven-cornered keep, only one man regarding me, and
only one spiral, that upon which I knelt.

I took deep gulps of air, fighting nausea, as the room
rotated slowly left to right. It did not cease until Khys stood before me. As
he approached, he seemed to float leftward, disappear, be again, closer. I laid
my head upon my knees and moaned, for I knew that he would put the band of restraint
again upon me. I did not move to stop him as he brushed hair from my exposed
neck and slipped it around my throat. Almost, I craved the silence, the
isolation, the peace of the band. I pressed my forehead against my knees, my
pulse thunderous in my ears.

They had shown me what I had been. And what remained of
those strengths I had once been pleased to employ, they had checked. I had let
them, in fear of his displeasure, in weakness, born of what I had become. No
dreams did I harbor now about what I might be, should Khys take the band of
restraint from me. Whoever I had been, that one had had great talent. But I had
been made safe during my assessment.

Khys, who had taken a clean slate and written upon it what
he chose, who had rescued a wounded animal, maimed and broken, and domesticated
what was left of it, had saved his creation from extinction. So thoroughly had
he conditioned me to him, so completely was I his, I had not been able to
conceive resistance to his will. Not even in the face of extinction had I done
so. I wondered why I did not bleed. Surely, blood should flow from my nose and
ears, well up in mouth, and spill out onto the spiral from my ruins. Why could
not the charred remains of my skills be smelled upon the air?

“Estri, cease this," he said, raising me, unresisting, to my
feet. I laid my head against his shoulder, taking comfort in his touch, his
support. He had saved me, after all, from death. What worse would have befallen
me, at their hands, if he had not stopped them?

“It was the only way," he said gently, and I knew somehow
that he was regretful. “What was destroyed was partly of our making. You have
been made safe, it is true, but for your benefit."

I said nothing, only leaned against him. He stood a time,
holding me thus, silent.

“You understand so little," he murmured to me. “If you had
no defense against us, from whence came that wind? Truly, I tell you, none can
take from another that which has been by the father given. Alterations may be
made. Restraints may be applied. That, and no more may be done." His voice was
thick with some emotion I could not name.

He took me, that same day, Brinar second fourth, to the high
chalder of the Lake of Horns. It was late day, near to sunłs set, when we set
about it. Long had he lain with me upon his couch, only holding me, as I had
asked him. Even did he cancel his meetings and audiences, all but two, whom he
received at couchside. And with them he was subdued, preoccupied. We took a
meal there, served us by a deferential, scantily clothed forereader, with the
bronzed look of a lake-born. Upon her skin, a fingerłs length below her
collarbone, was a bursting spiral, glitteringmyriad tiny points of light upon
her skin. Khys bade her come near to me, had me run my hand over it, upon her
high breast. The place was smooth. The feel of it under my fingers was as silken,
oiled flesh. And yet, to the eye a microcosmic universe rested there.

“She is one upon whom I have brought child, one I favored,"
he said to me, when he had dismissed her. “It is my custom to so adorn my
women. It is my wish that you, also, bear my device."

“It will be my honor to do so," I said to him, my eyes
downcast. I felt rage, that he had other women; jealousy that she bore the mark
of his favor; horror that I might bear it; fear that I, too, might someday be
relegated to such a menial position. I pushed away my plate and rose. I had no
appetite. His eyes followed me.

I wondered if such a mark might be removed, and how many at
the lake bore it.

“No," he said. “Not, at least, by a forereaderÅ‚s skills."
His mouth quirked with amusement, he rose also.

“Does it matter to you, so much, how many others there are?
I have put much spawn onto Silistra in my lifetime. I expect to put a good deal
more."

I did not answer him, but went and lay upon the couch until
he bade me make ready, that he might take me outside. Thrice, during the seven
days since my couching of the arrar Sereth, had fitters attended me, at Khysłs
behest. Among those garments he had provided were soft tas sandals, a dusk-dark
cloak lined with shorn brist fur, and a number of lengths of silk and web-weave
with appropriate clips and cords. He chose for me from that selection a brown
iridescent web-weave, and I fastened it behind my neck and at my hip with two
bronze clips.

“I will also," he said, his glance approving as I secured
the cloak at my throat, “have put upon you the chald of birthing fulfilled, and
that of couch bond."

Gratefully I thanked him, pressing myself against him, my
cheek upon his blue-black tunic. He laughed, and held me at armłs length for a
moment, bemused.

At long last I would bear chaldra. One woman, and one alone,
can be in couchbond to a man, even such a man as the dharen. I hardly saw the
imposing halls, the precious sculptures and tapestries that decorated Khysłs
tower as we passed by them and through the huge bronze doors, inlaid with
golden beasts, and out onto the broad archite steps, green as summer grass. The
attendants closed them from within, soundless.

“Wait," I begged him, as he started down those stairs two at
a time, his grip firm upon my arm. He allowed it, and I turned upon the steps
and regarded the tower of the dharen, white, seamless, unadorned, rising a
quarter-nera into the fading day. The brisk breezes of harvest caressed me, the
moist air off the lake lifted my hair, whispered me secrets. Its footprints
waved the lakełs surface, gray-green as the sky, cloudless above the forested
horizon. From ground level, those tiny decorations at the lakeshore proved to
be great soaring constructions, casting huge dark patches over the skittering
water. And the spaces between them, so small-seeming from the tower, were each
a half-enthłs walk along archite ways set into browning grass.

We passed three parties upon our walk to the high chalder,
and each one stopped and bent to give the dharen his due. Along the promenade,
at lakeside, strollers were numerous, awaiting the spectacle of sunłs setting
over the Lake of Horns.

The high chalder, who worked his craft upon the bottom floor
of the Hall of Chaldra, was expecting us. In a small and luxurious chamber,
thick-hung with blues and gold, did the master of chalders greet us. Behind his
thala desk were displayed all manner of chald-work, single strands, belts great
and small. There were chalds there knotted in every manner and worked in every
style to be found upon Silistrachalds I had studied from books, but never
before seen.

“Khys, be welcome in your house," intoned the high chalder,
coming around the desk to bend his knee of his dharen. Khys raised him immediately.

The chalder, a heavyset, fleshy man, wiped his hands upon
his leather apron. His eyes gleamed as he searched his pockets, his mouth
twitching like that of a man with a fine humor awaiting his chance to speak.

“It is, you will see, quite unique," he muttered, both hands
now searching beneath the apron. “Let me just lay my hand upon it." And his
smile broke free of restraint as he brought his hands back into the open.

“This"he held out his closed fist to Khys, who extended his
own hand, palm up"is your birthing chald. It is only superior." He opened his
fist. A sensuous length of gold, solid as a slitsa, and as supple, curled
itself in Khysłs palm. The dharen sternly inspected it, rolling it in his fingers.
It was the width of a hundred hairs. He held it out for my inspection.

I took it from him, pretending to examine it. I knew nothing
of its quality. It seemed to me satisfactory. I nodded and handed it to the
chalder, whose eyes scrutinized me minutely, unabashed.

“It is very lovely," I offered.

“This is Estri," Khys explained.

“Oh," said the high chalder, suddenly knowing, his glance
now more than curious. And he turned from me to Khys, and again held out his
closed fist.

“It is too bad she cannot appreciate it," he remarked,
letting a strand fall again into Khysłs palm. But the sight of it took my
breath away. It was a couchbond strand, technically, being structured upon a
frame of pinkish titrium. Four times the width of the birthing strand it was, a
complex geometry of chain, set in places with matched bloodred gol drops, each
the size of an eyełs pupil. Khys held it a time, turning it in his copper
fingers.

When he raised his face to the high chalder, his pleasure
was evident.

“Next to my own, Miccah, it is the finest I have yet seen
from your hand."

The high chalder preened himself, puffing out his chest and
tucking his chins down against his thick neck.

“Then," he said at last, “I have only to enchald her."
Forthwith he set about it, employing tiny pincers and a thing like a knife that
was instead a tool that joined the chald links permanently, seamless.

The chalder bade me strip. I obeyed him, standing straight
before his disinterest. Low about my waist did he fit it, first threading the
golden strand through tiny links in the wider titrium chald, making them one.
His hair was very white, against a blushed scalp, as he fussed upon his knees
before me with his tools. Khys watched him, abstracted, his fingers toying absently
at his own great chald.

“And mark her, upon the left breast," he instructed the
chalder, as the man got awkwardly to his feet. Miccah raised a pale, cowlicky
eyebrow, and went behind his desk. When he returned, he had a cylinder in his
hand. He rotated a wheel upon it.

“Khys ..." I started, and stopped. His eyes warned me,
heavy-lidded, imperious. I would bear this manłs sign, upon my very flesh, for
the rest of my life. I regarded him, prepossessing, lordly, the dark-garbed master
of Silistra.

“It is not painful," said the chalder, testing the cylinderÅ‚s
end upon his own forearm. He held it a time, then again touched it to his own
flesh. He nodded.

I found myself several steps retreated.

“Stand very still," the chalder entreated, low, “or you will
have a blurred and imperfect mark." And before Khysłs arch stare I did so.

The high chalder put one hand gently upon my left shoulder,
and with the other pressed the cylinder against my left breast. I felt the bite
of the myriad tiny needles the wheel had exposed in the cylinderłs tip, hot and
sharp, smelled a pungent odor. I bit my lip, that I might not whimper.

He removed the cylinder, took his hand from my shoulder.

“Do not touch it," the chalder warned me, peering close to
examine the raised affronted flesh beneath my collarbone, “not until the
morrow. Sleep upon your back. Good," he pronounced, stepping back from me. The
mere breeze of his breath upon the mark had set my breast aquiver, burning. I blinked
back my tears, that I might see Khys, determine if my comportment had pleased
him.

He regarded me, his possession, with his device burned into
my skin for all to see. He called me to him, his expression noncommittal, that
he might examine the mark.

“My thanks, Miccah," he said after he had scrutinized my
breast. His satisfaction, though I had sought it, chilled. His smile was
replete, triumphant, as he bade me clothe myself. I clipped the web-cloth over
my right shoulder, mindful of the chalderłs warnings, through half-closed eyes,
that I might not see the mark, raised stinging upon my breast. I draped the
cloak over me, clear of that place.

“When it has settled, your beauty will be much enhanced,"
Khys remarked to me, his arm about my waist as we took leave of the high
chalder and descended the broad steps of the Hall of Chaldra, into the early-evening
dark.

Under the crescent moon we walked, silent. I could feel him
within me, questing amid my mixed emotions. He stiffened, his cold probe aloof,
as he searched me. I had deemed it an honor, beforehand, to bear his device. I
tried to retrieve, or at least simulate those feelings before his mindłs touch.
But a part of me sobbed, disconsolate, regardless of the dharenłs displeasure.

It came out of the night sky upon snapping wings, growling,
hissing, a black shadow that placed itself between us and Khysłs tower. Its
great wings extended out straight, it snarled repeatedly, glowing eyes unblinking.

I screamed. Khys silenced me, roughly thrusting me behind
him. The beast arched its neck, growling, its hindquarters twitching, its
tufted tail lashing back and forth. The dharen stood calmly before it, his
hands at his sides, unmoving. The beast, head low, paced left. The dharen
matched him, keeping between us. The hulion skulked to the right, hissing. Khys
was ever before him.

“Estri," said Khys softly, his voice urgent, “come stand
beside me." I did so. The hulion sat upon its haunches, its ears atwitch.

“We are going to walk by him. Be as calm as you can. Think
as contented thoughts as you can manage." And he took me against him, as the hulion
snorted and rose once more, and my legs threatened to gainsay me their support.

We assayed the passage, slowly. The beast reached out his
huge head, snuffling as I came abreast of him. So close did that moist muzzle
come to me that its long whiskers brushed my arm. It paced us all the way to
the stairs that led up into the dharenłs tower, its golden eyes glowing, its
growling breath loud in my ears.

“Just walk," Khys snapped. “Do not look back." But I did, as
Khys slapped the knocker ringing, and the hulion roared and roared, plaintive.
It paced the length of the bottommost step, its gaze upon us, speaking in its
alien tongue.

When the ponderous bronze doors were opened from within, the
beast had its two front paws upon the lowest stair, its wings half-furled. The
attendantsł faces drained pale as its growls reached them. Khys pushed me ungently
within.

“Wait!" he ordered. “Watch her!" he commanded them, and
turned and ran down the steps three at a time.

“No!" I objected, as the attendants pulled the doors shut.
They turned, wary, one leaving the doors to stand between me and the empty
corridor at our rear.

“You need not fear for him, lady," said he who was still at
the doors, amused. “One might rather fear for the hulion." He chuckled at his
own humor, his thumbs stuck in his weapons belt, white teeth flashing in his
black face.

I stood between them, breasts heaving, breath tremulous,
waiting. What if he was wrong? My nails savaged my palms. What would happen to
me, without him? At the mercy of those five others, I would be. And without him
... I stopped my fingers just before they touched the spiral new upon my
breast, curled them into a fist, forced that fist to my side. The black
attendant stood very still, his head cocked, as if listening. He no longer
smiled. I licked my lips, sticky with concern for the dharen. As I did so, the
knockerłs summons reverberated in the vaulted hall, and they opened doors to admit
their lord.

Unscathed he was, composed, his aristocratic nostrils,
flaring, the only sign of his agitation. I wanted to run to him, but I did not;
I only stood there with relief running over my skin like sheeting rain. He eyed
me once, sharply, speaking low with his men. He touched one upon the shoulder,
the black man, who nodded and cracked the doors, .slipping out into the night.

He spoke no word to me, nor did he touch me as he strode
down the corridor and I half-ran to pace him. The tendons stood sharply corded
in his neck, and his heavy lashes seemed to meet. Not until we were within the baths,
upon the underfloor of the tower, did the dharenłs mood lighten.

He lay long upon his belly on one of the archite slabs,
staring pensive at the hissing mound in the circular depression at the chamberłs
center, at the steam rising from rocks piled there. The baths were deserted, at
this enth, when most would be about their moonłs meal. We were alone but for
those who tended the steam and the bathers, and they, sensing the dharenłs
preoccupation, had made themselves all but invisible.

The steam, he had said, had healing properties, and would be
good for me. It made that place upon my breast throb, and fuzzed my hair, and
the long strands, curling, stuck to my body and tangled and got sopped with my
sweat and the moisture in the air. Perched on the edge of the slab, I worked upon
him, as he had previously instructed me, with the heel of one hand and gathered
fingers of the other, kneading oils into his skin. Rivers of perspiration
meandered down my rib cage, across my belly, sluiced by the chald there.

“Enough," Khys decreed, when I thought I could not move my
leaded arms again. I rubbed my eyes, which itched and stung from the perspiration
in them.

“I am inordinately pleased with you," he grunted, sitting up
and swinging his legs off the slab. He reached out to the mark upon my breast,
and I drew back.

“Trust me," he said, and extended his palm toward me, just
over the mark. The hand took up a rotating rhythm. That place tingled as if
cool air blew upon it, around and around. When he took his hand away, the skin
there was no longer angry or risen. It seemed, for the first time, to glitter
softly.

“Still, you should not touch it," cautioned the dharen,
slipping off the slab.

“You were very calm before the hulion," he remarked, his
glance sidelong. He extended his hand, smiling. As I took it, those thoughts
which I had earlier quieted came again to my mind, of the hulionłs fate, and my
own. The steam and the heat had calmed me. But I bore Khysłs sign upon me, and
within me also, as I had seen when he had gone out to meet the hulion.

“Did you kill it?" I asked, as he guided us through the
wooden door and into the warmly lit resting keep, where our gear lay, neatly
folded.

“No." He chuckled. “I did not even speak harshly to it."
Over and over in my mind a thought chased itself. I did not speak it to him,
but his eyes hardened upon me. Taking a wet sponge from its bucket, he threw it
to me, that I might rinse.

He toweled himself dry, took my arm, and led me wordlessly
to his keep. And through it, to that mirrored prison keep that had been mine so
long, stopping only long enough to get from his gear a length of thick parr
thong.

I looked at it, in his hand, at his face, so forbidding, at
our reflections upon the mirrored wall. My keep held, as always, only a low
plain couch, one chair and a writing ledge below the window. The walls and
floor were silver gray. Too long had I spent here.

“Strip," he snapped. I did so, dropping my new finery about
my ankles.

“Khys," I implored him, “do not hold against me my thoughts."

“Cross your wrists at your belly!"

I did, and he bound them there, first to each other, then
looping the supple parr thong around my waist and tying the ends behind my back
tightly.

“This way," he grunted, “you will not tear at your mark in
your sleep. And you might consider your ambivalence, and make some attempt to
control it. Or meditate upon your place. It would please me if you could learn
to keep it."

“Must you leave me here?"

“I will not spend this night in the tower." He spun me
roughly sideways, so that my full figure was reflected in the mirrored wall.
Standing behind me, he put his arms around me, cupping my breasts in his hands.
I closed my eyes.

“Look at yourself," he said.

I did not.

His touch insisted. I leaned back against him, watching my
heat igniting, steam. My wrists, bound at my waist, fought their bonds. My masterłs
sign, just above his fingers upon my left breast, shone softly. The chald at my
navel rustled as my hips began to move against him. When I moaned and tried to
turn to face him, he pushed me to my knees, bade me stay still. As he left, he
darkened the keep to a bare dimness.

“Khys," I whispered to him after he had gone, “what do you
want from me?" I knelt there, my need raging, a long time, lest he return and
find that I had disobeyed him. The chald and his mark and my body slick with
rut regarded me. In the semi-dark, barely limned, I might have been any woman
who bore them. And I knew why, then, he had left me, hungry. Bound, upon my
knees, alone, I regarded her whom I had come to be, and I was further aroused.
The mark, I found suddenly, awareness rising in me with my lust, excited me.
And I shook my head, that I might shake the thought away. I wondered where he
went, if it was to the common-held forereaders he had gone. I resolved then
that there would not be another night that I knelt thus, while he used some
other because I had been less than pleasing in his sight. Alone with my need, I
chastised myself. If I could, I would have given my body relief. His name went
ringing in my head. The fantasy of him, after a long, aching time, gave me what
my bound hands could not.

Gasping, little sated, I lay down there, upon the mat, and
cried myself into a sleep that was no respite. That which cannot be given, he
had taken. I saw him, in my dream, and he was indeed with forereaders. Can you
be even half of what they are? he demanded. Of what you once were? And I spoke
of love. Upon the word there came to be in that place another, who resembled
me, and with her a great hulion. She bade the hulion devour him. I found myself
between him and those gaping fangs. I saw even the spittle and the yellow
fungus that bubbled and grew thick upon the beastłs tongue. She would have
pushed me aside, destroyed him. Upon slim bronze fingers she ticked off
importunities for which she would hold him to account. Khysłs laughter rang in
my ears. And I, after each point she made, repeated the same answer. I could
not allow it. The time, I told her, must be served, the will of the father
done. He has gone too far, she thundered at me. And he then tired of the game.
With a wave of his hand she was bound and collared and marked by my side.

And I woke from the dream as her answering tirade was muffled
by the gag that came to be in her mouth, to find Khysłs fingers loosening my
bonds and the rays of first light shining upon my face. My body was cold, damp,
my breasts heaving, as if I had run a long way.

He crouched, naked, above me. I rubbed my white-striped
wrists. Surely it had been part of the dream. My fingers explored that place
upon my breast. The skin felt unmarred. Heartened, I looked there. It glittered
against my copper flesh, Khysłs device, the bursting spiral. He nodded. I would
have risen from my back. His hand stilled me.

“I stood for you in my dreams," I murmured, half-placating,
half-accusing.

“It took well," he adjudged my brand, the quality of it upon
my skin, brushing my hair back. He put his knees upon the mat, bent, and kissed
my breast there. “And the nightÅ‚s meditation did you good." I saw him rising,
and knew that the mark pleased him, that he would use me. And I was grateful
that I bore it.

“Speak to me of what you have learned," he suggested, his
hand testing, then making more eloquent suggestions. I did, withholding nothing
of what I had come to feel.

“Consider it your heritage." He chuckled when I fell silent.
“Long have you been destined for this end." And I would not have had it
otherwise. His final taking of me was once again upon my knees, from the rear.
I watched her couch him, wild-eyed, sweating, dancing unconstrained upon his
manhood. She moaned and begged and cried for him, her rhythms punctuated by
breathless whimpers. Then he pushed me forward from the waist, my head to the
mat, and I could not see, but only receive his fierce thrust. For the first
time, I heard Khysłs lust escape his lips. It thrilled me, setting me once
again aquiver, that he had cried out.

He did not let me rest replete, but stayed in me, rearousing
my flesh. When he removed himself, too soon, I was again beginning to tremble.
He touched my risen nipples. I looked at him, and had no doubt that he could
have finished what it had pleased him to start. I rolled over, pressing my
belly against the mat. I caught his eyes, imploring him.

He rose and stretched, looking down upon me. “Stop that!" he
snapped. I stilled my hips, with effort.

“Yes," I breathed, anguished. “Anything. Khys"

“No. Sit. Do not touch yourself. I want you that way awhile."

I sat, as he preferred, my shoulders well back. The air
swirled cool against my blood-mottled skin. I pushed my hair back from my face.

“Why?" He turned from the door and came back to stand over
me.

“Is it not enough that I wish it?" he said quietly.

“It is enough," I murmured. Would he lock me in here again?
Had I not well served him?

“You have the run of both keeps. Stay within them. I have
much to do. This evening I will take you with me, to a gathering of some small
import." His eyes narrowed, sparking. I felt his intrusion, his deft, casual appraisal.
I sat very still. And he was gone, out from both keeps, stopping only long
enough to gather up his formal robes.

When I was alone, I rose and went and lay upon his
rust-silked couch, slamming shut the doors to my prison as I left it. Do not
touch yourself, he had said. The morning sun sliced the keep into sections,
spilled over my turned hip. I rolled upon my belly and pressed myself against
the couch. If I disobeyed him, he would know. I did not do so, only raged at
him for what he had done.

I still lay thus when Carth, carrying a tas-wrapped bundle,
entered the keep.

I sat up, clutching the rust silks around my bodyłs
nakedness. But I could not cloak my mindłs lusting.

Tossing the bundle upon the couch, he sat beside me. Gently
he pulled the couch cover from my hands, that he might examine my mark. His
mouth pulled inward at the corners. His brows met above his eyes. He ran his
hands over me familiarly. He had never before touched me in such a fashion.

“No." He smiled without humor. “I will not use you, now or
ever."

I wished he would go away. I turned my face from his
dark-robed form.

“Soon enough, child, your wish will be granted," he said
dryly, tugging at the straps upon the tas binder.

“I did not mean that, Carth," I wailed, and threw my arms
around his neck. All that one might feel for a father, I felt for the arrar
Carth.

“And I did not mention it as threat or punishment. It is
only a fact. Long he has had me at your care, assigning much vital work to
others in my stead. He evidently feels"and he smiled sourly"that you are no
longer in need of such stringent supervision. And I must say that, seeing you,
I believe he is right." His fingers desultorily stirred the tas cover back,
disappeared within the bundle.

“May I dress?" I asked dully. My stomach pitched and rolled
with loss. Carth, answerer of quandary, soother of fear, Carth, the man whose approbation
had sustained me, would be taken from me. I would be alone with the dharen.
Oftentimes, this past set, his counsel had been invaluable in my dealings with
Khys. How, I wondered, fearful, searching in Khysłs wardrobe for a wrap, would
I manage without him?

I knelt down there a time, my palms pressed against my eyes,
out of his sight. I calmed my pulse with difficulty. Purposefully, as he had
taught me, I sensed the pile under my feet, thick and soft. I tasted the air
upon my skin, counted its waves. Thus was Carthłs teaching for mental distress.
Upon this day, I would show him I had learned it.

When I emerged from Khysłs wardrobe, a white robe of
Galeshir sheer belted around me, he had spread the contents of the bundle out
on the rust silk. There were three volumes, ors, bound in patterned slitaskin.
There was a gossamer-thin something, sunlight upon marsh mist, jeweled with
dew. I touched it with my fingertips. It was as stroking a wirragetłs wing.

“Oh, Carth, it is beautiful." I picked it up, and it spilled
the length of my body. Such a wrap, though it could conceal nothing, would much
enhance any who wore it.

“Thank the dharen, when you see him." The arrar was more
than brusque.

“Where is he? What is this gathering?" I asked, slipping my
arm between two layers of the web-work. It hugged my limb, overgleaming it with
shadow-soft sparkle.

“He is meeting with his dhareners, and with those others who
hold power upon Silistra. This"he picked up one ors“is what he gives them,
why he had called them together." Abruptly he threw one book to me. I caught
it, barely, opening it to the title page. Then I turned to the contents,
scanned them. I closed it, holding it against my waist.

“Why did you give me this?" I asked.

Carth leaned back upon Khysłs couch. His dark face was unreadable.
He ran a hand through his black curls.

“Not me. He. It is some part of his hest concerning you. He
has ceased to confide in me so far as you are concerned. I do not know why he
wanted you to have it. With a lesser man, one might say that it is his newest
creation, a work upon which he has spent more than a year, and he but desired
you to read it."

“But you do not think it that simple." I sat beside him,
regarding my toes peeking from under the Galeshir silk.

“The dharen is anything but simple. Let it rest. All who
bestow chaldra have today received from him this volume upon the chaldra of
helsars, and how it may be adjudged. Perhaps he would simply like you to be
able to make polite conversation. None will have had the manual longer than
you. The dhareners will be more confounded than you could ever be; not in
twenty thousand years has there been a new chaldric strand for which to strive."

I put the ors down, trading it for the next.

“Do you think," I asked, touching CarthÅ‚s arm, “that he
might let me test for one?"

Carth took a deep breath, regarded the midday upon the Lake of Horns through the windows. He found the sight so intriguing that he left me,
drew the rust draperies fully apart, and spent a long time in contemplation of
the lakeside.

The second volume was entitled Hesting, the Primal Prerogative
and was twice the thickness of the first. It was filled with odd diagrams and
charts. I laid it by. The third was the Wellwomanłs Ors, written by the
foundress of Well Astria. To hold that in my hands sent thrills and tremors up
my nerves.

“This," I whispered, half to myself, “I will read straightaway.
I am in need of nothing more."

“You had best work first upon the others, and save that for
your leisure," decreed Carth, coming to stand over me, shadowing the open book
upon my lap.

“Why are you so somber. Carth?" I wondered, looking up at
him, wide-eyed.

He, back-lit, silhouetted, laughed harshly. Then he squatted
down before me.

“My little one is grown up. I suppose I regret it." He ran
his finger down my nose, withdrew his hand. “That womanÅ‚s trick proves it.
Tonight you had better be as ready as he has deemed you."

My own fingers rubbed my left breast. I swallowed hard. I
had not missed Carthłs eyes upon it, then my face, lastly upon the band at my
throat. Before all Khysłs high ones, I would be shown, banded, marked. My skin
turned hot as a batherłs in midsummer sun.

“And with his couchbond strand at your waist," Carth
reminded me sternly.

I touched it, grateful for another thing to do with my
problematical hands.

“You will not be the only restrained one present, nor the
only woman bearing such a sign. That everwelling pride of yours may yet be your
ruination." He rose up, one hand upon his hip. Something in his stance before
me had changed. I was conscious of him as male, as I had never been before. I
shifted, knowing my own moisture, my eagerness, my bodyłs response to his.

“It is you that have changed, have grown aware. Get up. In
this one instance, such enlightenment will do little for you."

“Where are you taking me?" I said. Putting the WellwomanÅ‚s
Ors carefully upon the couch, I rose obediently to follow him.

“Down into the common holding, that they may prepare you.
Then to a meal, if you would like."

“Carth?" I asked him, pressing against his arm in the hall.

“Speak," he allowed, looking at me askance. He did not disengage
my fingers.

“Will you be at this gathering?"

“Yes, along with a number of other arrars." I took my hands
from him, falling silent. In my mind I saw another arrar, and those eyes, so disturbing,
seemed to hover before me along the corridors.

Out we went into the bright clear day, and along the ways by
the lakeside. Carth, as if in reparation for his bad humor, allowed me to take
up some rounded pebbles and dance them across the water. One, I found, as I was
about to fling it, had been woman-formed by the lakełs constant lapping. I
dried it upon my robe and handed it to him solemnly, that he might have something
by which to recall me. He clasped me to him, crushed the breath from my lungs.
After a time he kissed me upon the crown of my head and pushed me away. Though
I asked him, he would not speak of what concerned him, nor of where he expected
to travel upon his pursuit of the dharenłs will.

In the forereaderłs tower lies the common holding, plush, elegant,
all in soft neutral shades, as if fall had come indoors, and installed itself
in that great hall. Across the clear floor we walked, within which, set deep,
were designs of colored earth that teased the mind and gave lightness to the
spirit. I did not pay the floor attention, nor the great striped ragony table
that encircled it, nor the furred and sueded and tapestried cushions piled
along its circumference. At four places one might pass through the circle,
across the floor, and out again among a number of grouped couches. Only, I
wanted out of that place. I hated the feel of the gol under my feet, the dark
cloying scent that seemed to sweeten my tongue. Here I had been ill-treated by
those forereaders whose keep this was. Here I had seen the forereader
restrained. I blinked away the phantom of that sight, the room suddenly filled
with bodies. Even could I hear the musicians playing softly from their alcove,
smell the roasted denter upon the air.

Carthłs hand upon my shoulder, his sidelong glance, warning,
rebuked me. I chased the past from my mind. We passed out of that hall into a
cerulean passage of gold-flecked ornithalum, and through it to the right, down
two flights of stairs. At the stairsł foot was an open door, into a large
chamber, where six women lounged upon a great pool, divided into three sections.

There, Carth, with an admonition relating to obedience,
handed me into the care of a forereader whose name I do not recall. I begged
him wait, but he would not. The woman laughed, remarking upon the discomfort of
men before a womanłs beautifying arts. If she had used them upon herself, I
thought, she must, aforehand, have been a horror to look upon. Her eyes, resentful
upon me, bespoke how I had fared in her assessment.

Graciously I smiled at her, and allowed that she might, with
alacrity, attend me to the best of her ability. Upon the last word I made it
clear with a lifted eyebrow that I doubted her skill. She flushed, and stared
pointedly at my band. I stripped off my robe, that she might see my chald and
be made aware of how I stood in the dharenłs eyes. As naked as she, I stood before
her, taller, finer, and with his chald of couchbond, upon which was strung a fortune
in gol drops, at my waist.

Her small and overly squat body stiffened. She was forced to
crane her short neck to meet my eyes. In them she found nothing but contempt.

No other word was spoken between us during the two enths it
took her, with her two assistants, to make me ready. Finally, my body soothed
with oils and my hair confined by ten tiny braids through which were worked
strings of fire gems, I was prepared.

I regarded myself in the mirror, my pubic hair and nipples
aglitter with a scintillant powder, my eyes gilded, the nails of my fingers and
toes shaped and lacquered gold. Their avaricious looks, reflected in the mirror
behind me, brought a warm feeling to my heart. Any of them would gladly have
borne my restraint, my mark, any indignity, to be possessed of such a reflection.
I smiled at myself, regarding my tongue as it flicked out to moisten my lips. I
turned slowly full about. Khysłs device upon my left breast took the light,
pulverized it prismatic. Then I saw Carth there, and his expression was
eloquent tribute.

The squat forereader brought my creamy robe and held it for
me. Belting it about me, I approached him.

“What think you?" I whispered, teasing.

“I think I had better feed you," he mumbled.

I found his consternation delectable fare, but I only nodded
and brushed by him, into the corridor, that he might observe from the rear my
begemmed mane.

“I have been thinking," I informed him as he came up beside
me, his arm encircling my waist.

“About what you would like to eat, I hope?" he said, turning
into a side passage of brown taernite.

“About the hulion that attacked us yesterday, and about what
was done to me by the dharenłs council, and about the literature you gave me."

“You must be fatigued," the arrar remarked.

“When they assessed me, one of his council undertook to
dismantle a web that extended out from me. What was it?"

“Ask the dharen," he evaded.

“I will not have your invaluable counsel much longer.
Please, Carth, do not withhold your aid from me. Was it a hest? It seemed to me
to bear a resemblance to a diagram I saw in Khysłs text." I turned my face to
his, my eyes imploring. He watched the floor before him, intently.

“Only can I say to you, it might have been. If it was, no
matter; it exists no longer. As for those other questions you have, I am not empowered
to answer them."

“Will you not, this once, bend his rule upon you?"

“Not even this once." And the arrarÅ‚s face was as dark as I
had ever seen it.

“Return me, then, to his keep," I said, toneless. “I would
study the texts before I am called to him."

“As you wish," Carth said, reversing our direction in the passage.

All the way to the dharenłs keep we made in silence. When he
had gone, I stood by the window until I saw him pass along the ways, in the
direction of the arrarłs tower. He stopped and spoke awhile with another, by
the lakeside. Before them, on the lakełs surface, a disturbance arose, as if
unseen stones skittered there. Far out upon the water, almost to the opposite
shore, the lake skipped and danced. Both men watched, it seemed, but neither
had taken up stone or raised arm to throw. After a long time, they separated,
each headed the opposite way. And the water of the lake was becalmed, meditative.

I turned from the view, went and got Khysłs texts from the
couch, and settled with them among the cushions. Long did I struggle with his
discourses upon hesting, though I could make no attempt to put his instruction
to work. Khys defined hesting as the introduction into experiential time of
probability not inherent in the sort. But I had little understanding of sorting,
the forereaderłs skill. Stochastic restructuring, or hesting, demanded
apprehension of what was natural to the time. I could not sort. One must see
the sort, the spread of probability, before one can alter it. I touched the band
upon my throat, ran my hand beneath the creamy Gateshir robe, over my left
breast.

With the subject of helsars, I was at an even greater
disadvantage. I had never seen one. I knew they were material things, small
crystals that were a kind of teaching aid to the skills of mind. I knew how
they had come to be upon this plane, having read the Keepressł papers. But I
scanned the material stubbornlythe many adjurations and warnings and
fail-safes Khys recommendedshould one be about that questing. For so it appeared
to bea journey, an exploration of a different reality. When I sighed and
rubbed my eyes, stretching, I realized the ache in them was caused by the
fading light and the failure of the entrapped stars to recognize my presence
and increase their glow.

I put down the treatise upon helsars and glared up at them,
hovering, dim.

“Be bright, curse you," I muttered at them, arrogant
reminders of my mental insufficiency. I was sorry that I had pressed Carth, and
thus lost his company.

I lay back upon the cushions, staring up at the bronze
scales upon the ceiling. I had no interest, I told myself, in such a dangerous
trek as Khysłs guidelines revealed helsar teachings to be. I thought of Khys,
and wished he would come use me, release me from my frustrations. Upon the
arrar Sereth my mind dwelt also, he who rode hulions. Possibly he would be
among the arrars at Khysłs gathering. The thought cheered me. I stretched
again, arranged my hair upon the cushions, closed my eyes. It might, I thought,
be a lengthy evening.

Sleep was not tardy attending me. But it was a sleep
restless and draining, during which it seemed that I was called into a presence
which named itself my father. I replied I did not know him. You may be he, I
allowed, looking calmly upon a man form, bare outline, from which star-stuff
spurted and flared. I was not afraid; rather was I filled with longing, and an
overwhelming sense of belonging. Let me stay, I petitioned that darkness, which
of a sudden had great glowing eyes. In each could be seen a universe, spawning.
Have I not done enough, been enough, suffered enough, to suit you? No. Bring me
my fruits; he spoke without words, the sound of it great bell peals in my
brain. Take it, and the father also, I spat. I would be free. And he laughed,
and the gale of it picked me up like paper and whirled me back into the bondage
of flesh. I had one last glimpse of that place, over which a great winged
slitsa with fire-clawed appendages hovered, its tail wound in the ascending
lines of force that skewered the world in its care. I heard its thrumming,
sensed the harmonic it provided as it pulsed the gravitic song that binds the
substructure of space to the weathers of time. And then the song was gone, and
the pulse also, and I sat up in the dimmed keep to see the stars and the new
moon rising, and the dharen, silent, leaning over the gol table in the
near-dark. I rose up. He noted it and lit the keep, rubbing his eyes. He had
sat straining, rather than wake me.

“Khys, you should not have let me sleep," I said, conscious
of his hunched preoccupation as I crossed the mat to stand beside the table,
where he had spread what seemed to be a list of names, with a number of columns
after each, in some of which were noted numbers and cryptic symbols. He
shrugged, straightened up.

“They did artful work upon you," he said. “Turn."

I did so.

“Carth tells me you had a number of questions which he could
not answer."

“I would not bother you with them," I excused myself, stepping
back from his molten, half-lidded gaze. “It was only ..."

“I know." He smiled warmly, as he seldom did, showing those
white and perfect teeth. “If, by the passÅ‚s end, you still have them, I will
speak with you. For now, set your thoughts upon the moments upcoming. Do your
best for me this night."

“My best at what?" I queried him, noting his humor, still
lingering as he gathered up the papers, sheafing them on the gol. Khys did not
deign to answer, but busied himself secreting the lists in his bookwall.

“The cahndor of Nemar," he said, donning his plainest and
most elegant formal robe, “has brought his couch-mate here, and his heir also."
His face swathed itself in shadow as he made fast the chald at his hips. “Both
the woman and the child will reside at the lake for a time. She will be, understandably,
nervous and ill-at-ease. If you can do anything to comfort her, I would
appreciate it." All the while he talked, I could feel his cold probe,
intruding. “Mind-seek," so the Strothric teachings label it; invasion, it
seems, to one who has no comparable skills, and hence no choice.

“I will do what I can," I said quietly, fleeing to couchside
on pretext of retrieving that miasmic wrap which I would wear, and also of his
choosing, and not my own. “But that is not what you want."

“No," he agreed, reclining, his humor evaporating like water
in full sun. “You are right. The pretense must serve us both, for the moment.
Know you how to peg the time?"

I nodded. Carth had seen to it that I was not wholly
ignorant of the Stoth traditions that Khys so highly prized. I slipped the wrap
over my head. It closed about the right shoulder, falling open down the whole
right side. The seamed side lay low against my left breast. My mark, in this
fashion, was well displayed. I smoothed that fabric, as light to the skin as an
evening breeze, over my hips. Khys reached out and put his large hand flat on
my belly, his stroke following the cloth down.

I stepped back from him. He made no move, but stood silent,
brooding. A muscle twitched repeatedly at his jaw. Disconcerted, I knelt before
him, my palms flat upon my thighs.

“Dharen," I whispered, “you make me uneasy. Surely, if you
would speak in more detail, I could better serve you." I wanted to touch him,
to taste him, to bridge the gulf between us with my body. I bent my head to his
feet, and my braids, heavy with the gems wound through them, flogged my shoulders
as they fell to the mat.

“I will, this night, lend you to the cahndor of Nemar," said
Khys quietly. I sat up. Accusingly I stared at him, bit my trembling lips.

“It is not discipline. I am not displeased with you." He
pushed himself upright and touched his palm to my cheek. I took his hand in
both of mine, held it there, kissing his open palm. I saw tiny beads of perspiration
in the creases. I ran my tongue in the folds, tasted his salt.

“What, then, is it?" I dared, in my softest voice, staring
up at him, his palm pressed against my cheek once more.

“An old obligation, a part of some larger hest of mine." His
brows arched, but he did not rebuke me. “It is necessary that you perform
creditably. If you can do only as well as you did with the arrar Sereth, I will
be satisfied." His tone had turned dry and pointed. I dropped his hand, sat
back upon my heels, raising my head high.

“I will try," I said, barely audible. I knew now why he had
been preparing me. My heart seemed frost-burned. I blinked away my tears
fiercely, lest they mar the gilding upon which the forereaders had spent so
long. I reminded myself that if I were a wellwoman, I would have served a
different man nightly, without such qualms. But I was not a wellwoman. I
watched him, moving about the keep, his dark-robed figure stiff and tense, his
movements belying his calm. Perhaps it was an obligation, but surely it was not
his pleasure, this that he proposed. I wondered what would constrain such a
man, what would make him act against his own will.

He whirled about, eyes blazing, leaning back against the gol
slab. I could see his hands whiten as he gripped the tablełs edge.

“Be still, or I will have him put a child upon you, and be
freed from your self-conscious mental babble permanently." I lowered my head
miserably, that I might somehow silence my thoughts.

“Get up." I did so, pulling the open side of my wrap together
as best I could.

“Puil it through your chald." And as I hesitated, he bore
down on me. Reaching out, he raised the wrap and slipped it under the chald I
wore, jerking the material tight. The soft, glimmering wrap was now
chaldbelted, turning the slitted right side from blatant openness into restrained
invitation. I smiled up at him, uncertain. Simple things, I did not know, such
as how to wear a chald to advantage. Khysłs intrusive gaze turned gentle as my
mind bewailed my inadequacies.

“I do not want to couch another," I said needlessly. “It is
only your touch my body seeks."

“But you will do as I instruct you," he said. I could only
nod.

He spoke then, as we descended the back stairs and crossed
the walkway to the common holding, of what had been achieved in his meetings.
He had never before done so. Most of it was beyond my understanding. I learned
that some helsar chaldric strands had already been bestowed, and that the
strand given was of luricrium, a rare and costly metal which has to it a tinge
like storm clouds forming. I learned that the odds against completing helsar
work unscathed were twenty to one, that prerequisite to such an attempt was the
successful obviation of space. I did not learn what happened if one failed. Nor
did he make clear what might be gained, that such a risk was worth the taking.

I endeavored to think as little as possible, and not at all
about the exchange Khys proposed. But I could not silence my heartłs wailing.
Generously, the dharen said nothing, but instead encircled my shoulders with
his arm, against the eveningłs bite. The wind, gusting, seemed to snigger at
me, that I so venerated this man, who doubtless only used me, as the arrar
Sereth had said, to serve his hests. Whatever they were.

Between ornately trapped sentries we passed, through the
brass-inlaid doors that proclaimed this tower the residence of women. In the
entrance hall we passed small knots of robed and wrapped lake-born, and the
smells of flesh and flower mingled with the acrid tang of narcotic danne and
set my head spinning. Clutching Khysłs robed arm, I pressed close against him
as we passed into the common holding, and I saw just how many attended this gathering.
Crowds, their buzz and roar, their close-packed smell, their threatening
diversity, were something with which I had no experience. My eyes searched the
strangers, seeking a familiar face. I saw neither Carth nor any other I knew at
the drink stand, nor before the musicians who rolled out a pulse-matching
Dydian chromatic piece in seven-four time. Near the easterly bank of
sheer-draperied windows, yellow smoke hung heavy in the air, dancing phantasmic
as it rose toward the star-glowed ceiling of greened brass. The round, hollow
table was set with all manner of gracious utensils. Whole carcasses, fruited
skins gleaming, lay upon huge serving trays encircled with pastried tuns, their
crisped outer crusts dusted with salt. The enclosed floor was so thick with celebrants
that it could not be seen. A plethora of forereaders circulated among the
guests, all bare-breasted, their hips diversely wrapped, their soft flesh shining.
Here were representatives of every bloodline, surely, that thrived upon
Silistra. From palest white to starless evening sky did their coloring range,
and those forms were dressed all differently, from bare nakedness to one dark-skinned,
tiny women of whom all that could be seen were her eyes and a tiny patch of
forehead. She was elsewhere swathed in layer upon layer of green translucence,
the edges of which were fringed with little golden beads that tinkled as she
moved. Toward her Khys headed me, to where she stood with a
formidable-appearing man who wore upon him a magnificent cape of black
feathers, like ebvraseałs wings, sprouting from his broad shoulders. To another
he was speaking animatedly, a man near his own build, whose back, dark-robed,
was turned to us, and about whose waist snuggled the arrarłs chald.

The woman saw us first. Her velvet eyes widened. She touched
her companionłs arm, and that rana-skinned man turned his own black eyes upon
us. His dark lips drew back, those white teeth, startling, augmenting his
fearsome aspect. I thought he might roar, rather than speak, as he slid
gracefully toward us, the crowd parting for him as if in long-rehearsed formation.

Down upon us he swept, that carnivorełs smile flashing, and
when he reached us, his great arms went about me. A hand cupping each of my
buttocks, my body pressed to his leathers with their metal fittings, he lifted
me off the ground and whirled me around. I shook with fear, my head against the
tight-curled hairs of his leather-strapped chest, biting my lips.

“Estri," he said in my ear, his lips nibbling down into the
hollow of my neck.

“Please, put me down," I begged timorously. Laughing the
roar I had expected from this hulion of a man, he did so, his fingers uncupping
my hips regrefully. I stepped back and found myself against Khys, who put his
own hand to the nape of my neck. The dark manłs eyes seemed to cloud, as if a
curtain blew over them. His mouth tightened; his hand found the point of his
shoulder, rubbed there.

“I thought," he said to Khys after a long time examining me,
“Sereth spoke allegory, part-truths, born of his distress. I see now that such
was not the case." He kneaded that place upon his shoulder, looked about his
feet, eyes darting. Then he raised them.

“I am appalled," he said, not softly, to the dharen, his
censure snapping like a whip, making a circle of silence and attention around
us. I shivered, my skin crawling under the many-eyed stare of the curious
crowd. I sighted the tiny woman, her breasts and hands pressed against the arm
of the arrar whose back was toward us, her body straining. She was shaking her
veiled head to and fro. I tossed my confined hair forward, over my left
shoulder, that it might obscure from the dark manłs eyes my mark. Khysłs
fingers tightened upon my neck, reminding me of the band that pulsed there.

I quivered under the dark onełs stare, from those oddly
filmed eyes.

“Appalled, are you?" said Khys softly to him. “Or perhaps it
is another emotion you feel, birthed out of your own inadequacies? Could you,
Cahndor, have done such a thing? Is it not your fear that appalls you, your own
vulnerability that causes you such unease?"

The cahndor of Nemar shifted upon his feet, his fists
wrapped in his many-stranded chald. “Doubtless," he growled, “that is the case.
At least, partly."

Khys brushed my hair off my shoulder. His device twinkled at
the cahndor, who could not take his gaze from it.

“I would not have Liuma so degraded," the cahndor said in a
lowered tone, running his dark talons through tight-curled hair. Upon his arm,
so displayed, was a winged slitsa, wound around a recurved blade, drawn upon
the skin in umbers and ochers. It slithered and writhed with the movements of
his bicep.

“She is yours. We will do with her only what you wish. If
you want her not at all improved, do not leave her with us. It matters not to
me. It is the child who should concern both of us." And he let go of my neck,
pushing me gently from him. “As with her, it was the child that gave her value."
I stood frozen between them, like a hapless moon eclipsed, wishing I might at
that moment cease to live within flesh.

The cahndor of Nemar extended his hand. Hesitantly I
surrendered my own, watched as his grasp engulfed it. By that grip, inexorable as
gravity, he drew me nearer. I saw, briefly, the woman, still held by the arrar.
Her huge eyes were luminous, fearful. My own, I was sure, showed no more
composure. The darkling prince enfolded my trembling frame, and I understood
the filming of his eyes: nictitating membranes, snapping forth and retreating,
cloud-glitter on an obsidian void.

“Speak my name," growled this savage to whom Khys was obligated.

“I will, Cahndor, if you would but inform me of it," I
breathed, compliant as any obligation about to be discharged, beseeching his
patience. His grip tightened. He spoke a number of sentences in some unfamiliar
tongue. Then he turned his head and barked an order in that same guttural
speech. He intoned his full name gently. I repeated it, fascinated by that gaze
that immobilized me as surely as Khysłs flesh lock.

“She knows nothing?" he demanded of Khys, loosing his grasp.

“She knows a great deal. She remembers nothing of her life
before she came to the lake. We have deemed it safer not to remind her of what
she herself will not recall."

“As you predicted," said Chayin rendi Inekte harshly.

“As I contrived it," amended Khys, his well-modulated voice
silky, in contrast to the desert monarchłs imperious growls. My knees grew
infirm. Both of them, then, knew my history. Khys had never before admitted it.
And the other thing he had said ... I faced him, not wanting to believe what
his veiled threat to the cahndor implied.

His lucent gaze stayed me, my questions, my hurt. My tears
dried in my eyes unshed before the cold breath of his hauteur. I turned once
more to the cahndor.

The diminutive dark woman, upon the arm of the arrar Sereth,
had come up beside her couch-mate. She eyed me with terror unrestrained. Her
lips were dried with it; her tiny limbs trembled like a sapling in the path of
a northern gale. She leaned heavily upon Serethłs robed arm, her finger
clawlike. I had no doubt that she was in need of his support. And that one regarded
me impassively from under his thick brown mane, as if we had never couched.

“Sereth," I whispered. He did not answer, but only regarded
me, his attention upon my left breast. Stung that he would not even acknowledge
me, I turned my head away, staring at the floor, for I knew not where else to
look. My fingers found Khysłs strand of couchbond at my waist and tangled themselves
in it. I could feel my palms weeping, the moistness they imparted to the
web-cloth upon my belly.

Khys introduced me to the cahndorłs couch-mate by her first
name only, an insult that was not lost upon her, she who was Nemarchan,
forereader and highest among the tiasks of that desert land, Nemar.

He took her resentment from her mind, surely, for he told
her courteously that while at the Lake of Horns she might not use titles, for
here no such accounting of rank was kept; even her hide name, and her motherłs
and fatherłs, mattered not at this place, only what she was and what she might
come to be. I watched Khys weave his spell upon that tiny woman in a matter of
moments.

“Let me see her," Khys ordered of Chayin. She made no objection
when her couch-mate stripped off her veils, and, spinning her, unwrapped her
miniature beauty that Khys might assess it. In the puddle of her diaphanous,
gold-beaded greenery she poised, her proud carriage not diminished. Around us,
the crowd had cleared back, many pointedly turning away. We were alone amidst
the well over two hundred that feted in Khysłs common room. He studied her a
time, indolent, and I knew from his face that his intrusive thoroughness had
laid bare her mind as easily as the cahndorłs hand had stripped her body. I
closed my eyes to her distress, feeling it my own. When I opened them, I saw
the arrar Serethłs face, unguarded for a moment, and the pity upon it was mine,
not the Nemarchanłs. Unthinking, I moved toward him, those few steps.

He regarded me, silent, his dark eyes indrawn.

“How are you?" he asked in his most inaudible voice, a mere
rustle of breath.

“Frightened," I whispered back, leaning toward him. He
reached out his hand, stopped it, between us.

“Touch it, if you would," I invited him. He ran his rough
palm over my left breast, over the softly glowing spiral there. He tossed his
head. I could hear his teeth, grinding upon each other. He shot his gaze across
Chayin and Khys, speaking together intently, and over Liuma, who at Khysłs
bidding was redressing.

“Estri," said Sereth, leaning close, “you have no need to
fear Chayin. He would never do you harm. There might yet be something salvaged,
with his help." And he took his hand from my breast. “Did it hurt?" he inquired,
about the mark.

“Not unduly," I replied, holding my head high. Helpless as I
was he before Khysłs will. I resented what he had said to me, about the
cahndor. “It is easy for you to tell me not to fear," I snapped. “If you find
the cahndor so lovable, you couch him." At my rebuke, he half-smiled. I
wondered what comfort I had found in him previously. “I suppose," I hissed
archly, “that one could expect no different from you. You are, after all, no
more than his servant." And I turned my back upon him, my fists clenched before
me. His hand came down hard upon my shoulder, whirling me once more to face
him. He held me a moment, his grip crushing my shoulder. Then he let me go,
turned, and strode through the crowd, bumping several innocents from his path.

Khys, breaking off his conversation, stared after him, then
at me, questioningly. A moment, he closed his eyes. Comprehension lit his face.
He laughed softly, and drew me near. Somehow, I had pleased him. I did not even
bother to wonder why, only, congratulated myself, basking in his oft-withheld
approval. In the shelter of his arm I stood, with the Parset lord of Nemarłs
alien eyes upon me.

They discussed, then, the disposition of Liumałs child,
while she listened, distraught. I did not understand her agitation. The heir of
Nemar would be raised and educated at the Lake of Horns, privy to the Greater
Truths that are not taught elsewhere upon Silistra. No woman at the lake retains
a child after its second year. The child, born Brinar second fourth, 25,695,
was two years, one day this sunłs rising, that of second fifth. Perhaps, I
postulated, children are not put into common care in the Parset Desert. I shrugged, causing Khys to pull me closer. It was no concern of mine, her distress.
And if she would couch the dharen this night, it was to my advantage that she
be out of sorts, preoccupied, as she so obviously was. I felt deeply the sharp
pain of my jealousy. I wondered how he would ever fit in her, she being so
small. And then I regarded Chayin, her couchmate, and knew that she could not
be a problem, if she had been used by the cahndor, had borne him a son. I felt
Khysłs silent chuckle, and knew he had eavesdropped upon my thought.

“Assuredly," he whispered in my ear, “none of her ilk will
ever replace you." I pressed, in answer, my buttocks against him, and was
rewarded by his stirring beneath his robe. “Hold them both for a time, Chayin,
while I go and soothe the Ebvraseałs ruffled feathers." And Khys departed,
threading his way through the crowd to Sereth, whose dark head was just visible
to me, wound around with danne smoke, near the banked windows.

When Khys had reached his arrar, and not before, did Chayin
speak,

“What," the cahndor demanded, “did you say to Sereth?" And,
not knowing whether or not he read thoughts, I answered him truthfully. Chayin
blew his breath hissing through his teeth.

“Of all men, he should be free from your censure!" he
snapped. I only stared at him. Liuma, his couch-mate, tittered, a tinkling
sound.

He whirled upon her like an enraged hulion, snarling. “Think
you I would not wipe this floor with your carcass, should it come to me to do
so?" And though she fell silent, her eyes still danced with humor. Assuredly,
Liuma had no love for the arrar Sereth.

“Of all men," I said softly to Chayin when he turned his
dark glare back upon me, “only Khys has that freedom with me. It is he to whom
I am couch-bound." And I met his fury without comment, as he cursed in that barbaric
tongue of his. When he ran dry of words, he spat at my feet. I looked from that
small wetness, up at him, his taut form, and knew I had said too much. I found
myself retreating into the crowd. Two steps, he took, and retrieved me.

“By the wing of uritheria, Estri, this cannot go on! Do you
not have any understanding of your situation, or of the shadows it throws over
us all?" I saw Liumałs hostile gaze, watching, her ears fairly pricked.

“No, I do not. Perhaps you will enlighten me," I petitioned
him, as he led me back to her.

“It is my fervent hope," he said wryly, “that I will be able
to do so." Roughly he placed me upon the right of his Nemarchan, Liuma. Then he
looked about him, hailed an arrar with Khysłs spiral upon the left breast of
his robe. That one, blond and golden-eyed, was quick to attend him.

“Do not allow them conversation," he instructed the arrar. “Let
neither one out of your sight. I will return for them presently."

The arrar nodded, standing opposite us, legs spread, arms
crossed over his chest, as Chayin made his own way through the crowd to join
the dharen.

Liuma caught my gaze, eyed the arrar significantly. I nodded
to her. We had, neither one of us, been ordered to stay with him, directly. I
set myself leftward, toward the banked windows, as Liuma hurriedly put bodies
between her and the startled arrar, heading toward the right. He hesitated, undecided
as to which one of us to pursue. I increased my pace, looking backward, sliding
between a marked wellwoman and one who was not her couch-mate. The arrar closed
upon me, frowning.

I stumbled right into him. Hands, fiery gold, took my upper
arms as I staggered. Murmuring an apology, I raised my eyes to him whom I had
jostled. And stared, witless, at the first of Khysłs council, he who had so
harmed me during my assessment. He was plain-robed in black. His hair and eyes
were black also, and yet the fathersł fire shone hot from him. I made to kneel.
He held my arms, shaking his head, saying that the time had not yet come for
such obeisance. And: “Where do you go in this unseemly haste?" Strong fingers
dug troughs in my arms. But his eyes looked elsewhere. I twisted in his grasp.
The blond arrar had stopped.

The man who held me had the blondłs attention. He jabbed a
finger in the direction Liuma had taken. The blond nodded, set off that way.

“I will deliver you myself to Khys," he mused, smiling
coldly. “How goeth the dissolution of the dharen?" he asked at length, his
piercing eyes exploring the depths of mine.

“Please let me go," I begged. He did not, but ran his
long-nailed hand over the dharenłs device on my breast. He laughed softly.

“There is an irony," he remarked as we negotiated a trail
through the crowd, “in his marking you thus. I would be there to see his face
the day he realizes it."

“I do not take your meaning, arrar," I said.

“I am Gherein," he replied. “And you will, soon enough. Remember
me to your father, when next you see him, and convey to him my awe, that he
could put into the time such a force."

I wondered if he were mad. Again he laughed, a sound
starting low but ending in a high, squeaking yip. As he hustled me down the
path ever opening before us, I recalled him; and those unmeet actions, that
destruction he had wrought within my helpless mind, he who had first explored
me during my assessment.

Before Khys, he ungently clapped the dharen on the shoulder.
That one turned from his conversation, and the shadow of his annoyance grew
darker.

“I have something of yours," said Gherein.

“Indeed," answered Khys. “And how did you come by it?"

“What is loosely held is often misplaced." The arrar
Gherein, first of KhysÅ‚s council, shrugged. “She escaped, you might say. I
returned her to you." He stepped backward.

“You have my thanks," said Khys dryly.

“As ever"Gherein smiled, bowing low“I am but the instrument
of thy will."

Khys, his glare upon me, snapped his fingers. I knelt at his
side. He turned from his council member, and that one melted into the crowd
like some malevolent spirit.

“Escaped, did you?" said Khys, staring down at me, his tone
severe. I shifted upon my knees, touched his thigh, pressed my cheek to it. I
said nothing. Those with whom he had been speaking, Carth and some dharener I
did not know, passed a pipe between them. To my left, against the window ledge,
leaned Sereth, with Chayinłs arm thrown companionably about him. They, also,
smoked danne, the yellow psychotropic herb.

Khys called Sereth to him. The arrar was languorously
obedient, his eyes off in the crowd. Chayin received Liuma from the blond arrar
and set her upon the window ledge.

“I think," said Khys to Sereth, who studiously avoided
looking at me, “that I have a new commission for you."

The arrar Sereth grinned. “You will lose me yet, with these
easy dispatchings." He tossed his head. “He is not Vedrast."

“Do you not feel up to it?" Khys inquired of him, matching
his soft tone.

Sereth raised his head, stared long into Khysłs eyes. After
a time, he raked his hand through his hair, pushing it impatiently off his
forehead. “It might work," he allowed. “Doubtless"and his voice was very soft“you
will be well rid of one of us.

Carth, long silent, reached out and touched Khysłs arm. The
dharen stepped close to him, away from me, motioning me up, almost as afterthought.

Serethłs hand closed about my wrist. His eyes caught mine. I
bent my head, that I might avoid them. My fingers, trapped in his, could find
no escape.

“Come with me," he whispered. I shook my head. But he pulled
me along after him to the window. My eyes, entreating Khysłs intervention, did
not obtain it.

He took from Chayin the pipe upon which the cahndor puffed,
and held it out to me, his straight brows knit. I hesitated. I had never smoked
it.

“Try it," he insisted, winsome dark humor that crinkled his
eyes and colored the scar upon his cheek. Liuma, I could see, had partaken. She
leaned back against the draped windows, her shoulders slumped, her posture far
from that of a woman before men. The cahndor touched Serethłs arm, began a
circular rubbing upon the arrarłs back. Sereth grinned at him obliquely.

He retracted the pipe, puffed upon it until smoke billowed
from the bowl. Then again he offered it to me. I received it from him.

My lips on the narrow stem, I pulled in deeply and was
rewarded by a paroxysm of coughing. Through blurred eyes, shaking my head, I
handed it back.

“Not so much," he instructed me, demonstrating. But I would
taste no more of it. Loosening was danne. It made tenuous the bond between
body and mind. I had fought that sensation often.I needed no drug to bring it upon
me. I said so, tossing back my hair, forgetful of the dharenłs mark it
obscured.

“Does he never feed you?" criticized Chayin, of my thinness,
reaching out to touch my left hipbone where it flared below my waist. His
fingers, upward-moving, counted my ribs. I shrugged.

“Answer me when I speak to you!" growled the cahndor of
Nemar. Liuma tittered upon the window ledge. Sereth hoisted himself up beside
her, his eyes never leaving me, that voracious gaze raising the small hairs of
my skin.

“He feeds me. I often do not eat. If I had choice, it has
occurred to me I might never eat."

“You could use more flesh than you carry. You will eat this
evening, while I have you."

“As you wish it, Cahndor. But one meal will make little
difference in my figure. I know for certain that Khys has a number of
voluptuous and highly skilled forereaders. I am sure he will allow you the use
of any other you choose in my stead." And I excused myself, intending to inform
Khys of Chayinłs disgruntlement and perhaps save myself from his hands.

He snarled my name. I turned back to him, quailing before this
more-than-appropriate anger. I ran my palms over my cheeks. My eyes itched from
the particles of gilding that had made their way into them. I rubbed them
gently.

At that moment the chimes called our seating.

Khys himself came to collect us, and with him Carth, leading
a bronzed girl who had about her the look of one not lake-born. Sereth slid off
his sill seat, his thumbs hooked through his chald, his whole bearing one of
marked displeasure. Chayin looked at the woman, at Sereth, then went to the
arrarłs side. There they had what seemed a heated discussion, in the cahndorłs
tongue, very low.

The woman leaned upon Carthłs arm, her eyes on the arrar
Sereth. Carth spoke to her, patting her reassuringly.

Khys summoned me, drew me to table with him. Liuma and Chayin
followed, the cahndorłs expression ominous. Beside Khys, upon his left, was
Liuma seated, while Chayin took the place upon my right. Carth, when he came
finally to table, had with him the long-limbed female, whose tanned skin had
not the fiery touch of the fathersł blood. Sereth, when I turned to seek him,
was nowhere to be seen. After seating the woman, Carth came to Khys and leaned
between us, whispering in the dharenłs ear.

Khys listened, nodded, waved a hand impatiently.

“You have done," he told Carth, “enough, more than might
have been expected of you. Let it rest. Take her yourself, if you like." Carth
grinned at him, straightened up, and returned to his seat between Liuma and the
unidentified woman.

“Who is she?" I whispered to Khys, my hand upon his arm, as
the dhrouma drums began a polyrhythmic thrumming, and the dancers filed through
the four openings in the table, to take their place in the enclosure.

“A well-woman, new to the Lake of Horns. Carth thought she
might be of interest to Sereth. Evidently he was wrong." He grimaced. The dancers
waited. Khys raised his hands, smacked them resoundingly together. The entire orchestra
took up the tune. The women, in slitsa skins and feathers, began their undulations.
I took no notice.

“Really?" I breathed, leaning forward to peer around Khys,
past Liuma and Carth, at the well-woman. I had not, to my knowledge, ever seen
one. Beside her was an empty place. She seemed subdued, her long-lashed eyes lowered,
her chin almost resting on her chest. I had thought such a woman might sit
differently, carry herself some other way, have about her some air to set her apart
from all lesser creatures. I saw it not. She was indistinguishable, to my eyes,
from any fore-reader. I sat back, disappointed, to see that my plate had been
filled to overflowing.

Khys eyed it, amused. I turned to Chayin, who evidently
thought I could eat as much as three grown men. He pointed firmly to my plate
with his knife, tapped the stra blade resoundingly against the platełs silver
edge.

I ate as much as I couldsome of the tiny meat pastries,
filled with ground denter, herbs, and cheese, the crust off a mountain of
creamed tuns, the fruited skin of a harth breast. I contrived to hide the kelt
eggs under a tas chop from which I had carved one bite. Khys served that night
a blood-red kirra, of eloquent vintage, bursting with life, and I drained my
silver goblet. The attentive forereader who served us hastened to refill it. I
placed my hand over the gobletłs mouth. The lake-born stepped again to our
rear, to join her sisters, of whom Khys had provided one for every four
feasters. In the enclosure, the dancers whirled and spun, now together, now
separate, their skins shining with sweat. The slitsa-women, slithering, gave
stylized chase to those leaping feathered ones, caught them, struggled, and
even seemed, with the magic of their art, to consume the bird-plumed, whole.
Litir players screeled their cries for them, dhroumaists conjured whining desert
wind.

Three goblets of kifra did the cahndor consume, and two full
plates of food, before he pushed back his chair and sighed, his attention upon
the dancing. When those girls fell to the floor, panting, when the muscians
took the moment between dance troupes to retune, Chayin rose up, stretched, and
harshly commanded me attend him. Khys, who had been with consummate politeness
hearkening to Liuma, touched my thighs beneath the table, slid his hands between
them.

“I would hear a good report of you," he said softly,
withdrawing his hand and his attention, turning back to the Nemarchan.

I sighed, rising, and went to the cahndor, who firmly guided
me out the rear of the common room. Along the taernite passage he led me
surely. The cahndor had been in these halls before, where the forereaders couch
those who choose them. My mouth grew dry, my heart double-paced, as I followed
him. The darkness made him loom larger in those soft-lit halls. The whites of
his eyes glittered cruelly. He spoke no word to his eveningłs entertainment.

My breathing grew so loud in the silence that I could stand
it no longer. I swallowed hard, and the sound was as a tree kepher propositioning
her mate in a Galeshin swamp. I ran my palm over my forehead, felt the moisture
there.

“Who was that woman?" I asked him, to crack the unease between
us.

He laughed, flashing his large strong teeth. “An appeasement
they had meant for Sereth, who, perhaps unwisely, will have no such." He licked
his full lips, eased us down a side turning, stopped before a door there. “There
was a time," he said accusingly, his black eyes boring deep, “when he would
have had more sense than to refuse her. She bears his child." He pushed open
the simple ragony door and shoved me gently within. Until he entered, the keep
stayed dark. Evidently the entrapped stars recognized the cahndor of Nemar as
worthy of their light. They brightened, then became dimmer, as he adjusted them
to his liking.

“You seem familiar with our ways, Cahndor. Have you been
before at the Lake of Horns?" I asked, to camouflage my nervousness. I sought
the cream-silked couch, sat upon its edge.

Chayin rendi Inekte growled his laugh, a rumble deep in his
throat. Standing in the middle of the brown-hung couching keep, he dropped the
cloak of harth-black feathers from his shoulders onto the creamy mat. His
breech and leathers followed them, and his thigh-high boots. I found my breath
caught in my throat at the sight of him revealed. It is said that what is dark
appears smaller than what is light. That revelation made Chayin seem to me, in
that dimness which gave him its substance, immensely powerful, gargantuan in
his mass. About him was little of civilization, nothing at all of the
refinement that marked Khys.

“You and I," growled the cahndor, stalking about the keep,
pulling back the hangings, checking the windows so revealed, “are going to have
a little talk."

I pulled my legs up on the couch, crossed my arms upon my
drawn-up knees.

“Disrobe," he snapped abruptly, throwing himself upon the
couch, rolling to one hip. I scrambled to my feet to obey him, my fingers fumbling
as I pulled the web-work up through my chald and over my head. I held it
between us, folding and refolding it.

“Come, Estri," he said impatiently. I dropped it where I
stood, and walked toward him, keeping my hands at my side with difficulty. I
wished he had even more darkened the keep. “Sit," he said, patting the creamy
silk. I sat there, my back straight, separating my hair, that I might clothe
myself in it.

“No," he snapped, lounging upon his side, his chald glittering
wide and full upon his dark skin. “Tell me about yourself."

There was little to tell. I told it as succinctly as
possible. He chuckled, a bitter sound, when I told him of my naming, and why I
had chosen as I had.

“The dharen," he interjected, “is as close to omniscient a man
as I have ever seen." Of the arrar Sereth he asked me, and since I had felt him
in my mind, I answered truly.

When I was finished, he sighed and sat up, crossing his legs
under him, his large hand kneading the place where his right shoulder met his
neck. “I cannot directly inform you of your past. Khys has forbidden me. But
there is a chance that I might be able to bring it back to you, if you want it.
When once such was discussed, it was postulated that my hand on you might
achieve it." He stared at me, the membranes snapping back and forth across his
eyes. I saw then, upon his other arm, uritheria, the mythical desert beast,
winged and clawed, whose fiery breath had manifested upon the plain of Astria
in Amarsa, Å‚695. “What say you?" he demanded.

“Khys says if it comes upon me, and I am not ready, it will
destroy me," I whispered, trembling.

He shrugged. “Khys says what serves him. Part-truths, and
twistings, thereof, are tools he is not averse to using. I doubt if your past
will destroy you, though when you realize yourself, you may have some difficulty
with what you have become since you lost cognizance. But the risk is there." He
rose. “I, for one, am in favor of taking that chance. It is not easy to look
upon you thusly." He searched among his piled gear and returned to me, a tiny
pouch clasped in his hand.

“Here." He held it out to me, unstoppered. “Take a small
taste only. Put your tongue to the opening, then tilt the pouch back." Under
his scrutiny, I did so. It was bitter, a nerve-curling burning saltiness that
left my tongue and throat numb.

“Sereth had two of these, once," he said, fingering the gol
drops mounted on my chald. “He saved them long for the Keepress, and when they
came together after a lengthy separation, he gave her a blade, the match of his
own, with such a gol drop embedded in the hilt." He turned the chald at my waist,
counting the drops. “One is a fortune, for an ordinary man. Khys holds you
high."

“Not high enough to keep me for himself," I murmured, shaking.
The drug was strong.

“He promised me more than a cursory use of you, once. He
cares, I suppose, or he would not have amended his word." His eyes searched
mine for some corroboration they did not find there. His large hand ran up and
down my back, his nails scratching lightly. I fought the urge to turn and bite
it. The room air whined around me, geometries dancing like motes of dust wet
with dew. I rubbed my eyes.

Chayin suddenly pulled me down beside him, his hand holding
both my wrists, with ease, above my head. His other hand, exploring, demanding,
was unbearably arrogant. I fought him. I bit and kicked and writhed and turned,
forgetting all my promises to Khys. I sank my teeth into the fanged creature
that lurked upon his bicep. He laughed, struck my head away. I saw, suddenly,
another place, another time I had struggled thus with the cahndor of Nemar.
Above me were no longer the brass scales of the forereaderłs common keep, but a
desert apprei, whipping in the hissing wind.

“No," I wailed, and he, just entered in me, grunted and
strove harder to split me asunder. “Chayin," I gasped, when I could, “let me
go, please." My wrists would surely crack, imprisoned in that grip. As I
thought it, he tightened his grasp upon them.

“Estri," he rasped, kneeling over me, his knees upon my
hair. “Recall me, or what Khys gets back will be greatly different from that
which he lent out!" He did not give me time to answer, silencing me with his
need. I had been helpless under him, another time. Still, I would not see it. I
saw the Keepressł life, her couching of the cahndor, as she had described it.
Swallowing, convulsive, it burst upon me with his sperm, with the taste of him
in my mouth. I found my hands free, clutched at him, my whole universe shifting
like a bondrex in sucksand.

He held me while I wept, my head pressed against the curling
black hairs of his chest. I thought I might never raise my head, that I could
not live with such shame. And another thing, I thought, over and over: Khys,
what have you done to us? Sereth, my love, my couch-matehow could he ever forgive
me? Santh, my own, whom I had raised from a whelp, how might I explain my
absent love to him? Chayin, who still loved me, whom again I would gainsay for
another, who had better served me than anywhat might I do to repay him?

But out loud I only wailed, again and again, my spread
fingers clutched over my ears: “Khys, what have you done to us?"

III: Seeking Stance in the Time

Chayin slapped me hard with the flat of his hand. Thrice, before
my hysteria subsided. His rage had his great arms quivering.

“Estri! Cease this now! Speak to me! Later you will have
time for tears."

And I put my arms around his neck and brought him down upon
me. “Chayin," I wailed. “What am I going to do? Help me. I am so sorry. I could
do no different."

“I know, little one. You seem destined to be ever some manÅ‚s
crell." His tone much softened, he kissed my closed eyelids, out of which tears
squeezed anew. I sobbed against him. “I do not know, truly, what you can do. As
always, you have my support, anything I have, whatever I can do. And more, if
you come to want it." His hands, with their own wisdom, brought calm upon me.

“What I said to Serethhow could such a thing come to be? If
there is any sanity in this universe my father made for us, I fail to see it."
I pushed at him, that I might see his face. Chayinłs eyes were red, his upper
lip beaded with sweat, his brow furrowed. I knew that what I had to ask would
hurt him.

“Do not think," I said softly, taking deep breaths, trying
to clear my thoughts, “that I am not aware that no other could have brought me
to myself." I ran my fingertip over his lips. Crouched above me, he nipped it. “Always,
it will be you to whom I am indebted." I raised my head, kissed him, a long
time. “I will find, should I extricate myself from this, some way to repay you
that will cause you to look back upon this day with joy. Will you do for me,
right now, what must be done?"

“If I can, little crell." He grinned at me, bit my neck.

“Find Sereth. Bring him here to me. I beg you. I must
explain myself, salve the wound I dealt him."

His body stiffened against mine. He brushed stray hairs from
my forehead with his lips.

“That I cannot do. When he left the meal, he left the lake.
He was much offended that Khys would put such a mark upon you." I felt his
probe, turned my face away.

“It is my fatherÅ‚s sign," I whispered.

“Not upon Silistra," he said, taking his weight from me.

“What is the time, Cahndor?" I demanded, dizzy with
confusion. Once, it was I to whom Chayin had come for such counsel. A great reversal
had come to be in our positions. “What reason had Khys for allowing this to
come to be?"

“I know not, little crell, what he has in his mind. The
time, so muddled with all who now set hests within it, yields me little." He
sat up, crossed his legs under him. “I thought he might let me have you now,
since he got the child. He will not. He told me once I might breed you. He will
not allow it. Yet he allowed me this couching, doubtless knowing what I intended."

I saw upon him his northern chald, and the new strand woven
there, that of helsars. With both minds, I knew him. He who had so affrighted
me without my memory was a comfort in my sight. And yet his altered chald
showed him also Khysłs crell.

He shook his head. “Little can I do for you, Estri, or for
Sereth, or even myself, before him. I asked for you. He refused me. I petitioned
him for Sereth, that I might have an arrarłs aid in calming the chaos that is
now upon the Parset Lands." He laughed harshly. “He allowed me an arrarCarth.
Such is the dharenłs humor. He wants you both here to serve his hests, whatever
they are." He fell silent, brooding. I could get no sense of him, of what emotions
raged within him. Nor could I keep him out from my own mind.

“What are you thinking?" I queried him helplessly.

“About you and Sereth. He was angry that I would try this,
even that I sought to free you. He believed Khys, that it was uris which in
truth destroyed you, and that you were better off unknowing if you remained in
Khysłs hands. What was left of you mattered so to him that he would not have
risked it."

I said nothing. My fingers found Chayinłs, entwined them as
of old.

“You did," I assured him, “the right thing. I will be better
off, after I have correlated what information I have. It is only the shock. I
will be fine." I did not believe it. “If you would restrain your attention from
my thoughts until I have them ordered, it perhaps would be easier upon the both
of us."

“It hurts me," he growled, “to see you so helpless. Before,
when you did not know, it lay easier upon you." He rose and paced the keep,
ever the desert stalker. “I know now what has set Sereth upon the edge of madness."
He kicked his piled gear, scattering it.

“Could you not seek him with your mind, tell him what has
come to pass, that I am restored to myself, that you did me no harm, but
invaluable service?"

“I cannot. He likes not such conversation, and has spent
much time upon a shield to keep him isolate. I doubt if even Khys can crack it,"
he said proudly.

“Let it be. I will see him presently." I sat up, tearing the
braids and the fire gems from my hair. My skin pebbled as my mind began to function.

“Chayin," I asked softly, turning my head to follow him
around the keep, “what will Khys say? What will he do to you for helping me?
They destroyed the last hest I set before I was banded, while about my assessment."

“Little crell," Chayin snarled, striding across the keep to
stand over me, fists upon his hips, “I care not. He cannot destroy me. He needs
me to hold the south. Far-reaching changes he intends in the Parset Lands.
Without the trust my people have in me, none of his seeds could bear fruit.
Jaheil has made very clear to Khys the connection between my life and his
goals." His white teeth flashed in that fearful grin I so loved. He sat beside
me, encircled me with his arm, pulled me onto his lap.

“But do not underestimate him. He is an awesome talent.
Doubtless he knew of this probability. Perhaps it is, in some obscure way, his
intention. I set my hest interlocking with a larger conception that encompassed
yours. If I had set it upon yours, I would have lost it. It is a trick I
learned from a certain Keepress when I restudied her works with a
helsar-trained eye." He squeezed my breasts. I nestled my head against him.

“You hooked into KhysÅ‚s hest?" I echoed. It made no sense.

“I know not whose it was; it was of such enormity I could
only attempt to employ a tiny section, placing my own coeval with what I could
apprehend."

A knock, twice repeated upon the door, precluded my answer.
I pulled the couch cover around me. Chayin grinned, striding to open it. I
thought it not funny. Within me were the emotions of Khysłs Estri, as well as
my own. I lowered the cover from me deliberately as Chayin pulled open the
door. He who stood there was an arrar, that blond who had held Liuma and me so
clumsily in the common room. He bid the cahndor come with him and attend at
once the dharen. The woman, he instructed, inspecting me coldly, was to be left
here. Another would come and collect her. Chayin could make no objection, even
when the arrar shackled my hands behind my back. He only stood by, helpless, as
the blond arrar lifted me bodily from the couch and put me on the mat beside
it. I was struck dumb in my fear. He took from his robe a chain. Then he lifted
my hair, held me by it while he snapped one end around the band of restraint I
wore. The other end he attached to a ring set low in the couchłs side. I could
not rise upon that short tether.

The arrar strode out into the hall, looking back impatiently
when Chayin did not immediately follow. The cahndor knelt down and kissed me,
holding me so tightly that all breath was forced from my lungs.

“Tasa, little crell," he growled in my ear. “If I can, I
will see you again before I depart for Nemar." He rose. I watched him,
unspeaking, my hands in chains behind my back, kneeling as Khysłs Estri had
been so well trained to do. The door shut behind him with a muffled thump. I
slid my legs from under me and slumped back against the couch frame, waiting.
Estri Hadrath diet Estrazi, you have come to occupy a most untenable position,
I thought bitterly. Khysunconscionably had he treated me. Yet, not knowing him
culpable without my memory, I had loved him. I sought within me for some
vestige of my skills; found, as I had expected, only scars and reminders of
what had once been. I waited, fearful and defiant, for the dharen to come
collect me.

My mind skittered and whirled and paced in the silence
provided by his band of restraint. Desperately I sifted the memories of him I
had acquired, for some hint or sign, some clue, overlooked in my ignorance,
that I might now put to use. I found it not. I came upon only my weakness. If
they had not so thoroughly dealt with me in my assessment, I thought, I might have
fared better. I recollected him, with both minds, and shivered at the
ambivalence that was mine. It had been such ambivalance that had destroyed
Raet, Khys had once confided. I struggled in my chains, to no avail. What would
he do with me? I lunged against my tether. The couch, set into the floor,
remained unmoving. The chain hummed, held. The band of restraint at my throat
did not so much as bend. Half-choked, my neck badly wrenched, I leaned back
against it once more. I sought the sort, saw nothing. My skin sheened with
sweat. It dried, lay there like a dusting of salt.

When the door opened, I scrambled to my knees automatically.

He pushed it wide, paused there, regarding me critically. I
awaited him, sitting upon my heels, my wrists chained behind, my head bowed, my
chin touching the tether that bound me to the couch. I fastened my gaze upon my
copper thighs.

I heard the door close, the sound of him moving. I saw his
sandaled feet before me, and I knew for what he waited. Stiffly, I bent my head
as far as my tether would allow. My unbound hair fell over his feet. A thousand
pulsebeats he kept me so before he bade me rise, long enough for my shame to
set my body afire, long enough for my terrorized mind to babble to him all he
might choose to hear.

He squatted down and touched my shoulder. I flinched, sat
back upon my heels.

“Keepress," he greeted me, even-toned, shadow or humor
dancing at the corners of his mouth in the dim light. A terrible wrenching took
me as I tried to make some accord between my two views of him. Those molten
eyes sought mine. I avoided them, until his hand under my chin forced my head
up.

“Dharen," I managed. I could hardly hear my own voice.

He raised one arched brow, ran his familiar, alien hand down
me. I quivered, fighting the old hate, the new love within my heart. “No
repudiation?" he queried, low, in that silken voice. “No threats, no imprecations,
no judgments upon my use of you?"

“No," I whimpered. She who had not known him had not known
her danger. I appraised it, saw my defeat in every molecule of that father-bred
body. He whom my father had chosen for me was more than my match. “You do not
have to reteach me, dharen." I tried to keep my voice steady. “I have no doubt
of your power, your skill." I stared into those eyes, so like Estraziłs,
drowned there. In them was no hint of what he intended.

“Do you know now what I have done?" he said gently.

“No," I whispered, my wrists by their own will fighting the
bracelets that bound them. I searched his face, desperate for some hint of his
intent. There was none. I wished, agonized, that he would hold me. My skin
crawled at the thought. I moaned, closed my eyes, tossing my head as if I could
shake away my pain.

Khys laughed softly. “Talk to me, Keepress!" he commanded.

“What are you going to do with me?" I asked, shuddering at
his presence in my mind. He took from me all that I had felt with the cahndor.
I did not attempt to defend myself. I sat straight, my head raised before him.

“What I choose," he said, freeing the tether where it had
been snapped to the couch ring. I thought wryly how great an honor it was
considered, upon the outside, to be allowed to come to the Lake of Horns. He
wrapped the end of the chain around his fist. Again he wrapped it, and again,
drawing me toward him.

“Khys"the wail burst from me"please, tell me how I may
serve you."

He let loose the tether, a wrap at a time. I sat back from
him.

“Tell me," he suggested, “about Sereth."

“What do you want me to say? I wear your band, your brand,
your couchbond. He, as I, live at your whim." My eyes beseeched him, prayed his
mercy upon us. “I beg you, do not hold us to task for our feelings, for what
has gone in the past. Do not take vengeance upon him for what failings you find
in me." I blinked, his form gone blurry before me. “Estrazi meant me for you,"
I whispered, my mouth stumbling over the words. “Your will, and his, brought me
here. I have loved you, freed of my past. If you allow me life, I doubtless can
repay you in service. Perhaps, in time, I can come to terms with my
ambivalence. I am more than she whom you have known in my stead." I stopped. He
only regarded me coldly. “I have borne the child you desired, Khys. Within the
limitations you have put upon me, I could still be more to you than any other
you might come to use." My nails bit my slippery palms behind my back. My
breath came hard to me. He cocked his head ever so slightly.

“Now," he said at last, “you are beginning to see." And his
quietly triumphant tone brought a moan to my throat. I swallowed it, and the
taste was bitter.

“Is there need for you to gloat over your success with me?"
I flared.

“It pleases me, to see you finally aware. What think you
your arrar might say, could he see you petition me so wholeheartedly for my favor?"

I said nothing, shifting upon my aching knees before him.

He slapped me across the mouth. I tasted my own blood.

“I know not," I whispered. “Khys ..." I hesitated, stopped.
I remembered the shield Esyia had taught me upon Miłysten, tried to build it. I
could not hold the image. I had not the power.

He sighed, reached beyond me, hooked the tether to its ring.
He turned me roughly, so that my buttocks faced him. I did not scream as he
entered me abruptly, not even stripping off his robe. Tears ran down my face
and stung upon my cut lips as he tore his way into my rear passage. One arm
around my waist, so that I could not ease myself, he serviced himself with me.

When he released me, I fell forward and lay there sobbing
softly. My wrists jerked convulsively in their bonds.

I heard him at the door.

I rolled to my knees. “Khys, do not leave me here!"

“After you have had some practice upon your old skills," he
said, “I may collect you, if you have come to wish it."

“Please, dharen, do not punish me. Take me with you." He
paused in the doorway. I felt his probe. He stood there longer than was his
custom. Then he came and unsnapped the tether from the band of restraint at my
throat. I leaned against him, sick with relief, as he unshackled my wrists. He
did not let the bracelets fall, but safed them in his robe. I dressed before
him, clumsy, and retrieved, as he ordered, the strings of fire gems I had
strewn petulantly upon the mat.

My fingers toyed with the chald he had put upon me. Its
testimony was no longer obscure.

He took me, through untraveled corridors, out of the forereaderłs
keep.

The night lay soft upon the Lake of Horns. We walked it, he
intent upon my thoughts, silent. I, buffeted by the wind from the abyss that
brought with it dawning comprehension, hardly noticed his presence. Along the
lakeside we walked, the sharp Brinar breeze whistling around us.

“Khys, may I speak?" I petitioned him, knowing he would allow
it.

“Surely," he affirmed, he who had so long awaited this moment.

“It is of Estrazi I would speak to you," I cautioned him.

“I know," he said, hesting a stone up into the air, out
across the lake. The spume it made, skipping, glittered in the moonlight.

“If you had come to me in Arlet, before Sereth, before Raet,
and gotten me with child then, you would have had from me all that you desired.
You would have needed to put no band of restraint upon me. You would have had,
then, more than I can offer you now." My fingertips ran over the band pulsing
warm against my throat. If he had not wanted more from me than my unknowingness
could provide, he would have kept me free of remembrance. I sought his face,
but the moonłs light sat like a mask upon it. How I craved my skills, with this
man, before whom I was so little without them.

“And you would have borne my son upon MiÅ‚ysten. That way, in
all its variations, provided a lesser yield. Only as regards what might have
been between us was it a superior path. As you found, yourself, such selfish
choosing must often be sacrificed for the greater good." And I heard the loneliness,
the bitterness in him that I had often felt when concerned with choosing
between possible futures. Khys, much older than I, bearing upon him a worldłs
weight for so long, must have often made such decisions. I felt an empathy for
him, a tightness in my throat, over burdens I presumed to think only the two of
us had ever borne.

He put his hand upon my neck, propelled me forward toward
the keep where I had been so long a prisoner.

“Many will walk that path, lit as it has come to be by the
light of so many helsars. That, also, could not have been, had we blazed a
different trail."

“There are things about my father you do not know, Khys."

“And will you give me that knowledge?" he asked softly, for
he and his council had tried, and failed to obtain it.

I opened to him a certain portion of my memory, stepped
aside. Without comment, he absorbed what was there, what had been denied him,
even with all his power. What his council, in their assessment, had tried to
take from me, I gave him. Not by my skills had that information been withheld
from him, but by Estraziłs. The fathersł shaping sequences I gave up to him, my
own childłs father, lest the boy be denied his heritage, should I not be enfleshed
when he came of age; and that Khys would know I harbored no resistance to him.
If the man would stand against the fathers, he would need them, and more. And I
had nothing else to give. I could provide him with little elseI might have,
once, been a formidable ally, but no longer. I had not the power to put those
skills to use,

“Do you want to see the child?" he asked me after a long time
..

“No," I said. He squatted down, drew in the soft sand.

“I will not take the band from you."

“I did not expect it," I said. He looked up at me, and I
knew his mind weighed the change he saw in my carriage, my voice, my heart. I
saw his hesitant smile, not meant for my eyes, that his hest had come in. All
this time, though he had my form, he had not possessed what had driven him to
seek me. I knelt down before him, throwing my hair off my shoulders. His mark
sparkled upon my breast.

“This way," I said softly, “surely as you intended, none but
yourself may be so tempted." Shaping skills had been no blessing to me. I knew,
even then, the importance of that moment, when Khys received from me what Estrazi
had meant for him, and him alone.

“Estri," said Khys, very low, “you should see our son."

“No, Khys." I shook my head, got to my feet. Avoiding his
hand, I stared out across the lake. “Not until we take him before his grandsire."

Then he rose also. Had I kept the thought within, he would
have marked it as complicity against him.

“Do you not see it, dharen?" The wind caught my words and
carried them back to him. His arms encircled my waist. “Estrazi will have his
fruits."

“I have gone to a great deal of trouble to avoid such a
confrontation," he said in my ear. “It has been long since you have sorted.
Much has changed since you set your last hest. Let me worry about owkahen. I
have managed alone a very long time." His words were sharp, but his tone was
pleased, prideful.

My fingers went to my chald, caressed the gol drops there. I
shivered, and he propelled me toward the keep, solicitous. I almost laughed.
Deep within me, my rage growled, rose, and circled, seeking a smoother spot to
sleep. I heard it, muttering, settle once more.

Though I tried not to think of him, my thoughts turned again
to Sereth. As we mounted the steps to his tower, Khys asked me what I would
have him do.

“Let us settle it between us. Only a woman can ease a man
about such things. Or allow him my use periodically. You might, in time, tire
of me. It would be not unfitting to cede me to him, if such came to be the
case."

“It is not in the sort," he said shortly, as the guardians
of the doors held them open for us. He stopped just within to speak with them,
as was his custom.

“If harm comes to him," I said when he again paced beside
me, “I will bear the weight of it. You would not use him so recklessly, but for
his feelings for me."

“It would be worse upon him if I gave him nothing with which
to occupy that mind." I heard the warning there, knew I trod near the edge of
his patience.

“He is no match for Gherein." I sighed, fretful.

Khys smiled bleakly, said nothing. Up the back-passage
stairs of brown taernite he guided me. And into his keep, where the rumpled
couch silks answered for me a question I had felt it importunate to ask. I
moved away from him, to the couch, and stripped it.

He stared at me as I did so. When all the coverings lay upon
the rust mat, I turned to him and asked where I might find fresh couch clothes.
He told me. I redressed the couch. It is not my practice to sleep on another
womanłs sweat.

“How did you find her?" I asked, smoothing back the outer
cover.

“Sufficient," he allowed from the kifra stand. He turned
from it, offering me a bowl. “I was, I am afraid, somewhat preoccupied with you
and Chayin. She is a talented forereader, if a trifle melodramatic by nature."

“Why are they here?" I queried him over the edge of my bowl.

“Things in the Parset Lands change too fast for some of its
inhabitants. Also, he being Raetłs son, his spawn deserved better than the
schools of Nemar."

“It is a little young, is it not, for school?" I asked innocently.

Khys drained his bowl, put it down. “There is no temporizing
with you, is there? If you please me, I may update your information. I have
told you that I abhor questions, I have spent long teaching you your place. I
adjure you: do not forget what you have learned."

I took my bowl and set it, half-done, upon the stand. I
stripped off the lucent web-cloth he had given me, walked past him, and put it
in its place, a small space he had allowed me in his wardrobe. It had taken
longer than I had expected to come to the end of his tolerance. Khys had
bestowed upon me a great latitude, along with my memory. I was not displeased.

When I emerged, he was in the alcove, stripped down to
breech, leaning with one arm against the window frame, his eyes upon the waning
moon as it bid farewell to its twin on the wind-ruffled water.

“Tomorrow evening," he said, not turning, “we shall sup privately
with the cahndor and his mate. At sunłs rising I have an appointment with the
high chalder. Then some rather dreary business in which I will not involve you.
I will collect you at mid-meal, and we will discuss the situation in the south.
Your observations might be valuable, you having more extensive experience with
tiasks than most."

“Your will is my life," I acquiesced, waiting, reading the
tension in his muscles as easily as my skills would have given it to me from
his mind.

“It is what I said to you about Estrazi that troubles you,
is it not?" I asked.

He made no move nor answer.

“I had a dream in which he identified himself to me,
expressed his intent, though I could make nothing of it at the time."

“Do not give it credence. You know better, do you not?" he
snapped. “Go to sleep!"

And yet, for a probability he would shun, he himself posited
too much attention upon it. I shrugged and turned to slip between the fresh
couch silks. He darkened the keep, all but for two stars in the alcove. From
his library he got the charts he had lately been studying and took them there,
settling back among the cushions in the dim light.

“I do not need dark to sleep," I offered.

“It will be light soon enough. I know them by heart. I use
them as a focus. Do not concern yourself."

So I turned upon my side, my back toward him, and sought the
restorative waters of the sea of Spirit.

But though I walked with determination along that shore, as
I chased each wave, it receded before me. I could not sleep. From my memory of
the gathering in the common keep, I conjured a tune, that I might have what
little privacy such a simple ploy would afford. Beneath the melody, I took note
of his regular breathing, its deep slow rhythm, and knew Khys worked upon his
projects from a vantage point not afforded by his keepłs window.

I pushed myself deeper, slowing my respiration, my life processes.
But I could not slip my fleshłs hold.

Khys, in the alcove, muttered to himself. He was all that
once I had adjudged him, in my hate, and more. Yet he was also what Khysłs
Estri had seena man who had slipped entropyłs hold and lived twenty lifetimes,
a man of obscure but unquestionable morality, who had made the adjustment I had
sought and not found between life enfleshed and life overwhelming. Khys was an
extremely successful organism. His fruits lay ripe and bountiful upon Silistra,
and near a million were nourished thereby. When I had refused him, he had
afforded me a lesson in perspective the magnitude of which was only beginning
to come clear to my sleep-befuddled sensing.

I wished desperately that I could seek my fatherłs help. I
could not slip Khysłs band of restraint. The dark beyond my closed lids was
dark only; the silence, but for my rustling mind and the tune I proffered as
flimsy shieldthe silence was deafening. He had gotten his child from me. I had
invited him, in my ignorance. He had used my life more efficaciously than any
band of restraint upon my former couch-mate, Sereth. And Chayin, also, did Khysłs
will. All three of us he had bent to his purpose as easily as if he were a
chalder melding strands of soft gold. What purpose? Even the cahndor knew not,
and Chayin had been, even before we rode to battle upon the plain of Astria, formidable
in his forereading sldlls.

I felt the chald, the gol drops pressing into my back as my
agitation tighter-fleshed my mind. Miccah, the high chalder, had remarked it a
pity that I knew not the chaldłs significance. He could have meant by that only
one thing. A man receives a couchbond strand to bestow as he pleases upon reaching
puberty. Low chaldra is such a strand; and no invocation, no Day-Keeperłs hand,
is needed to add a couchbond chain to a womanłs chald. But Khys had not had
such a strand to give. He had had Miccah make one. That he might once have had
one, and lost it somehow, occurred to me. But I did not think so. I shifted,
adjusting the chald so that no drop lay against my backbone. I recollected how
he had treated one woman upon whom he had brought childshe who bore the mark
of his favor, she who had served us a meal. She, surely, had never worn such a
strand at her belly. The dharen had amended his custom to enchald me thus. I
wondered if I were enough of my old self to be able to turn his interest to my
advantage.

I heard him again, the rustle of his movement about the
keep. I wriggled upon the couch, rolled onto my side, facing the sound of him.

“Khys," I whispered, breath-soft, opening my eyes to the
coloring dawn. “Tell me a thing, lest sleep never come to me."

“Ask it," he said, sliding back the book wall, safing his
charts within. His back was to me. He had dressed as if he might work his body,
in a practice breech and light weapons belt. He turned ifinally. I had waited,
that I might see his face.

“What is the significance of this chald, that upon which the
high chalder remarked? I still do not see."

“If you did not see, you would not have asked," he remarked.
“But I will give you the acknowledgment you seek. I would not want you to lose
sleep over it. As you surmised, I had not such a strand to give." He pushed
away from the book wall and came to the couchside. “Silistra has never before
had a dhareness."

I stretched under the couch silks.

“Do not make more of the fact than it is," he advised sternly.
“It is your bloodright, procured for you by your fatherÅ‚s grace, by your
genetic strengths and the potential inherent in the son you produced for me. It
is him I honor, not you." The sun invaded the keep, fanning the fathersł fire
upon his skin.

I laughed softly at him. Honor his son, would he? I saw no
honor in the band of restraint I wore, but I saw a look upon his face I had
seen often before upon other menłs. Fleeing, it hovered there, before he chased
it from his countenance.

He stared a moment longer at me, in the rising light, then
turned and strode from the keep.

When I judged him gone down the stairs, I threw off the
couch silks and went into my old prison. In the mirror there, I regarded
myself. I spent a time coming to terms with that image, with his works upon me.
I saw the painful thinness of my frame. I saw a tone to my muscles that did not
please me. I would, I vowed, get Khysłs permission to work my body into some
kind of fitness. My inner thighs did not suit me. My skin did not have the healthy
tone it normally carried. But those things I could remedy. His device upon my
flesh, I could not. I tried one final time to loose Khysłs band of restraint.
An enth, I sought the power to interrupt the flow of energy that held it there.
I failed totally.

I wondered what I might wrest from this situation, what
might be gained. One must know where one stands, and what one wants, to even
peg the time. So I was, nominally, dhareness. The title did not assuage my
exacerbation. Estrazi, how could you allow this? My father did not answer me.
Was Khys, truly, enough to stand against the fathers? “Have you joined with
those who oppose me?" my father once asked me. And I had threatened that I
would do so. He had told me then, truly, of all that would occureven of my
subjugation, my loss of memory, at Khysłs hand. And he had come to me, in a
dream, even before I had recalled myself. I turned from the mirror and hastened
out from the prison that had so long contained me.

I had, at least, the run of the dharenłs keep. I took up his
book upon helsars, and that of hesting, and sat with them in the alcove. I
could not read. Sereth, and the cruelty Khys had shown him, obsessed me. I
could see no reason in Khysłs actions. If, as Carth had said, Sereth was resigned
to my loss, why had Khys given me to him, and brought more pain upon him? You
are, after all, only his servant, I had said to Sereth, and Khys had laughed
and hugged me close. I sighed, rolled upon the cushions. Was this how MÅ‚ksakkans
felt among Silistrans? Short so many senses, I found myself unable to use my
reason effectively. It will come, I told myself, in time. One can adjust to
anything. But my spirit shriveled at the things I had done and said in my ignorance,
and my reason had no salve for the pain in my heart. Somewhere in that sea of
tears, I drowned, and slept.

I would, I knew upon awakening, contrive to speak again with
Chayin. He, I was sure, knew more than he would say. Before, he had withheld
from me that which he had adjudged me too weak to know. I rose, rubbed my eyes.
Squinting out the window, my hand crushing the thick-napped drapery, I guessed
it an enth before mid-meal. In the sky, full greened, I saw tiny specks rise
and fall, chasing each other upon the wind. Hulions romped above the Lake of Horns. What part did they see for themselves in Khysłs hest? Why would they aid the
dharen? One cannot constrain a hulion. They are the freest of creatures, primal
proponents of the law within. If they lent their strength and their wisdom to
Khys, his works must be potent indeed, in their sight. I longed for the sort,
the spread of probability, to make itself known to me. I quivered, standing
there, remembering the strength of the hesting skills I had once had. I, Estri
Hadrath diet Estrazi, who had once made a world, who had once claimed the
heritage of the sevenfold spirit, had by my own will come to this moment,
undone. I had set my will against my fatherłs, and he had sent me to another
who did likewise. But I had not known. The failing, as Estrazi had once warned
me, was not in the power, but in the conception. My incredible foolishness had
come to tithe its due. I had spent my power unwisely. You will not interfere
with Serethłs destiny, Estrazi had decreed. No, I would not. I could not interfere
with a wirragaetłs destiny, now.

I threw myself upon the cushions, curling into a ball. Khysłs
books jabbed at my hip. I could not, in any conscience, blame the dharen for
what he had done to me, lest I shortchange my father. But my rage was deaf to
reason, blind to the pattern I was only just apprehending, as it had been when
it came to me, aforetime, and precipitated all that Khys had done to erase it.

I rolled onto my back, my fists clenched around the chald I
bore. If I had not blared my hate at him when first we laid eyes upon each
other, how might it have gone? But the hate had come unbidden, out of owkahen,
out of what he would do to me, and thereby made it impossible for him to do
differently. My head ached. I rubbed my fingers over my temples, unable even to
rid myself of simple physical pain. I did not like what I had seen, these past
enths, and I felt no better for the seeing.

Blame him? Myself harangued me. Of course you can blame him.
He demanded that he be ceded casual responsibility when Sereth, Chayin, and I
had been brought before him, battle-torn, bleeding, and bound. I am the sort
and the hest, he had said. All that you have done is my will, he had boasted.
And my fatherłs hesthe had claimed it his tool, and called it paltry. The hest
of a Shaper, a world creator, he had downgraded.

I rose, pressed my head against the cool pane, watching my
breath mist its surface. There was no use searching relevance in Khysłs actions,
no more than in my fatherłs. I had learned that lesson upon Miłysten. The only
relevance is that of consummated will, upon the plane where Khys and Estrazi
did battle.

But the question remained in mewhose hest had Chayin locked
into with his own? Was it a fatherłs, or Khysłs own machinations upon the time?
And whose will, between them, would be done? Often hests run congruent for a
space, gaining power from such synchronistic periods, causing great chunks of
crux when they part. I sighed, backed from the window. My foot came down upon
one of the dharenłs volumes, twisted. I stumbled amid the cushions, knelt down
to rub my wrenched ankle. I recalled Carthłs anger when he had read that paper
I had long researched for him, in which I postulated certain conclusions drawn
from the genealogical records kept at the Lake of Horns. His anger, that I
could have suggested Khysłs longstanding breeding program faulty, was vehement,
of greater violence than I had deemed him capable, so great that he had refused
to pass the work to the dharen, so great that he had, before my eyes, torn it
into tiny scraps. And he had made me do another, upon a specified subject in
which I had no interest. I wondered, sitting there, rubbing my aching ankle,
why I had recalled it.

You may be mad, still, I chided myself, my mind bucking and
twitching like some unbroken threx at first saddling. This situation might
bring madness upon a more stable mind than my own. I thought, momentarily, of
the child, then chased the image from my mind. I cared not what they did with
it, nor into whose hands its care devolved. I had wanted, desperately, to bear
a child to Sereth. Circumstance, or owkahen, had prompted Sereth to refuse me.
Surely it would have been a child of which both of us could have been proud.
But he had refused, and I had not the will to go against his wishes. I saw him,
a cascade of memories we had built together, upon the trail to Santha, at Tyithłs
death, under the falls, with Estraziłs cloak upon his shoulders as he had been
that day we did battle upon the plain of Astria. He had lost, and lost again,
and yet he lived. There was that. He lived. I took comfort in it. I would, I
avowed, do nothing to endanger his life. If I served Khys well enough, I might
even come into some small influence over the dharen. If so, I would be able to
discharge some part of that obligation I felt. But to do so, I must quiet the
love I had for Sereth. There was no trickery I could play upon Khys, no
deceiving such sensing as the dharen possessed. So I came to it, the decision I
made upon my recollection of self, with so little cognizance of my true
situation. But any choice is better, I told myself, than making none. That
rule, first of mind skills, always holds true. I would serve Khys, who in my
best evaluation was an unknown. I had been placed here by a convocation of will
that I might do so. I would let the past go. If I could, I would ease Sereth,
free him of his love for me. Unencumbered, he could seek another; one the Weathers
would allow him. I would do my best not to further enrage the dharen. I would
come to some terms with my crippled state without seeking to place blame, for
in truth, there is ever only will, and the responsibility for onełs actions.

I guessed it near to mid-meal, bare iths from the time the
dharen had bade me be ready. I looked, unhappily, at his books, regretful that
I had not even started them. Khys had, I was sure, specific reason for presenting
me his works. I gathered them up, slid back the wardrobełs thala panel, placed
them with my things there. I promised myself I would attack them with my full
attention at the earliest opportunity.

There was a white length of off-world silk, laced with
threads of silver, among the wraps Khys had provided. I chose it. I would wear
my old colors, those of Well Astria. I wondered, as I draped the short length
around me, fastening it with a spiral clip of silver at my throat, at the gift
my father had left within me for the dharen. I ascertained, reviewing my assessment,
that he had not himself tried to extract any knowledge from me at that time. He
had only watched, while his council tried their skills upon me. Rethinking it,
I saw that they, in those moments, had also been assessed by their master. I
giggled, a bit hysterically. He had either known I would give the sequences up
to him, or made me do so. He had been in no hurry. I wished him better luck
with those skills than I had had. They were not meant to be wielded in the domain
of space and time. I had learned them upon Miłysten. I had paid dearly for
them. Even upon the dharen, I would not wish such as had come to me, when I
used them against Raet. I sighed, taking up the comb of carved bone he had allowed
me. I needed it. There was a time I might simply have hested my hair smooth and
shining. I stepped from the wardrobe, intending to avail myself of the alcovełs
midday sun.

He was standing there, his hair water-sparkled. He must have
just come from the baths.

“Have you been here long?" I asked, nonplussed.

“I do not need to be near you, to hear you if I choose," he
said quietly, brushing past me into his storeroom. He took a circlet tunic of
dark, soft tas, and buckled it about him. Then he clipped a cloak, upon which
the Shaperłs seal blazed brightly, to his shoulders. It might have been the one
Estrazi had given me, or its double. I did not ask. He did not volunteer the information.

I tucked the white and silver silk beneath my chald, set the
hip clip tighter, conscientiously driving each question from my mind as it appeared.
He slid shut the panel which enclosed the wardrobe, leaned against the
night-dark wood. I stood still and straight under his scrutiny, aware that he
might take exception to the colors I had chosen, or the way I had fastened the
silk at my throat, obscuring my band of restraint.

“You look lovely. I question the ease with which you have
taken to your new perspective."

“I look reasonably well. I could do with a circle partner;
daily work upon my body must soon commence. Also, with your permission, I would
be allowed an enth, say at sunłs set, for dhara-san. As for perspective, I have
not enough information to have one currently." I heard my own voice, soft and
sure, poised. I smiled to myself. I had memuch more than Khysłs Estri had ever
had.

“I will find someone," he granted. “A man, most likely. We
do not have a woman in training for the Slayerłs chain, here at the lake."

“You do not wholly approve?" I licked my lips, widened my
eyes at him.

“On the contrary, I think it wise of you to find some way to
vent your frustrations. Just do not kill any of my arrars," he said, mocking,
fiercely.

“I promise." I grinned genuinely. “I will not. It would much
ease me if you allow me a less sedentary life."

“As trustworthy as you prove yourself, that much more
freedom will I allow you. Are you hungry?"

“Desperately."

He inclined his head, ran his fingers through his still-damp
hair. “That is the first time you have ever, since I have known you, expressed
any interest in food." One of his brows drew down. He extended his hand to me.

“You have not known me, Khys," I murmured, taking it, “only
in battle shock, and then that shadow child you made me."

The cloak he wore, with the Shaperłs seal upon it, brushed
my arm. My hip, as he walked beside me, rubbed against his thigh. He did not
bother to lock his keep, but left the doors ajar.

I examined the passage, the tapestries and artwork displayed
upon its walls, with an eye that could appreciate them. He allowed me stop
before the hulion tapestry. Long I gazed upon it. Only in Nemar had I seen its
equal. Tenager, First Weaver of the Nemarsi, had attained near the skill of the
artist who had worked those hulions upon the grid. So real were they that their
eyes, as one shifted, took deep glow and seemed to follow, so real that it
could not be said for certain that those tufted tails, one black, one red, had
not just twitched as one looked above their bloody heads at the krits that jabbered
soundlessly, ever-leaping from branch to branch above their pointed ears.

He touched me lightly, his palm at the small of my back, led
me toward the stairs.

“I would see Santh," I whispered, unsteady, leaning against
his arm.

His glance, sidelong, was ruminative. The tendons in his
neck corded. I was about to withdraw my request, my foot descending the second
stair.

“After the meal, we will see to it," he said. I almost stumbled.
Still were the effects of uris on me, I thought as I caught myself. And that
brought another thought to mind.

“It was not uris, was it?" I ventured. It had not been uris
that had stripped me of skill and self-knowledge.

“It was uris that so weakened you that I could take you. It
was uris that caused the scarring you yourself have seen. But it was not any
one thing, unless one might call the Weathers to account. Or Shapers. It was my
will, but if I could have done it some kinder way, I would have." He glanced at
me again, his jaw slightly forward, his fine nostrils flaring.

I said nothing. Khys was many things, kind not being one of
them. And yet, I knew nothing of the constraints put upon him by his hests. And
if he would shape, he would be even further bound. Or did he think that upon
that plane he could, as he had done upon Silistra, make his own rules? I paced
him down the stairs, silent.

“Estri," he said to me when we gained the landing of the
ground-floor hall with its ceiling of golden scales, “are you actually concerned?"
His tone held some little incredulity.

“I am empathic by nature," I mumbled. He snorted softly. “I
once went against Shapers. I set my will against Estraziłs. I lost." I straightened
my shoulders, remembering that my first manuscript had never appeared upon
Silistra. “I thought, in my audacity, that I might free us from the manipulation
of Raetłs ilk." I laughed, then wished I could call back the ugly sound of it.

He pushed open the door to his study, held it for me. The
round table was set. The entrapped stars that lit the muraled ceiling came
alight with their masterłs entrance. I swallowed, and then again, as water came
anticipating into my mouth.

“What your father left for me will be of great aid in
achieving that goal," he said, motioning me to table.

“I hope so. But I wonder. I think you have not been with
him. He left you a gift. It had some purpose. That information was never accessible
to me. I knew not of its presence until you bespoke it." I settled into the
thick-padded chair. Khys served me charred denter, red-running with blood, a
heap of zesser greens. The drink in its silver pitcher was a light-milled brin.
It frothed in the silver goblets, whispering.

“Your concern is duly noted," he mused. At least he did not
discount my impressions. I was heartened. Half an enth later, he leaned back in
the chair, regarding me over steepled fingers.

“Little saiisa," he called me. I looked up from the fat edge
of my meat, where I had been searching another edible bite. “You may have more."

“No," I demurred, pushing my plate away and my hair back
from my face. “I must increase my intake with moderation." He himself had only
half-cleared his plate. Khysłs Estri interpreted his narrow-eyed gaze, quailed
before it. I steadied my breathing, pushed back my shoulders.

Khys leaned forward, his elbows upon the table. The robe
fell back from his hair-gilded forearms. He laced his fingers. “Tell me of MiÅ‚ysten,"
he commanded.

As I did so, I recollected the time he had spoken to me of
fathers, of Shapers. All that he had said had been concerned with their work in
space-time. When I spoke of Estrazi, he leaned forward, almost imperceptibly.
Twice he nodded. Once he asked me to repeat informationthat which Estrazi had
said to me concerning him. Having done so, I fell silent. Innumerable questions
threatened to overflow the dam I had constructed in my mind to hold them, wash
me away with their tide. Sweat formed beneath my breasts, rolled down my rib
cage, past my waist, before the silk absorbed it.

He rose abruptly, and the whirl of his cloak as he turned
away sent his silver goblet clattering, spraying brin to the floor. He paid no
attention. I retrieved it, placing it carefully upon the table. It stood askew
upon its base, dented. I took a meal cloth and set to sopping up the brin
puddling the silvery mat, glad for something upon which to turn my attention.

“No," he said softly. I stopped what I was doing, sitting
back from the stains over which I knelt.

“Dharen?" I said. Did he wish me to leave the brin to soak
into his priceless mat?

“No, I said," he repeated, whirling, the cloak lashing
around him. “It cannot be that simple. You are the courier of his propaganda."

And I remembered that, even to Estrazi, Miłysten hests are
invisible when set within time. How much more, then, to Khys, would Shapersł
design be obscured?

“Estri," he said, exasperated, “be silent." I had said
nothing. I crouched small upon the mat. He sought and regarded his domain
through the cloud-draped windows.

And the bearer of his gift was I, also: I had come to the
dharen complete with couch-gift, available only to the mate for whom I had been
intended. I cursed them both. A deadly gift it might come to be. The thought
cheered me, as my ambivalence hissed and slithered in its cave deep within my
heart. I pressed my palms against my temples, that I might quiet myself
somehow. I held my breath, fearful. But Khys either heard not, or cared not.

“LetÅ‚s us go and find your hulion," he said, abandoning the
window.

I scrambled in a most ungraceful fashion to my feet. A grin,
fleeting, lit his features. He swept by me, out of his study. I trotted after
him.

“If you were in charge of the standardizing of the Parset
Lands," he asked when I had gained his side, “what would you do with rebellious
tiasks?"

“Against what are they rebelling?" I found it hard to pace
him. We took a left into the main hall. Tiny, down that interminable corridor
of archite, were the great doors and those who attended them.

“We have outlawed the wordship of Tar-Kesa, torn down his
temples. We have now in the south real dhareners, and uniform chaldra, and Slayers.
There is no place for a force of such women. A number of them, disdaining Well
work, have gainsaid their chalds and roam the land in bands."

“I can imagine." I thought of Nineth as a well-woman. I
laughed aloud. “Are there still crells in the Parset Lands?" I asked.

“Yes. What they do with their chaldless is their own affair."

“Catch them. Make crells of them. Even better, for each
tiask put in crell chains free a female crell and install her in your new
Wells. The gene pool will be served, both ways. As crells or well-women, the
tiasks will get menłs use, according to their desirability. And there are some
worthy women, crells in Nemar." I recollected Khemi, and those dark girls Chayin
had kept in Nemar North. “It is harder to envision a tiask as well-woman than
crell," I added. “They are not fond of men, as a principle."

Khys laughed as we came up to the doors. “I will suggest it
to the cahndor. It is much less complicated than his plan, or mine, and a good
bit more realistic." He touched me, left me to converse with the black guard.
When he returned, his straight nose was bracketed at the brow by two deep
lines.

“Come," he said very gently, “let us seek the hulion." He
put his arm, protective, about my shoulder. His long-fingered hand, closing on
my shoulder, squeezed reassuringly. He led me, thus, out the doors into the midday.

“What is it?" I blurted, my throat aching, the hairs
standing away from my skin.

“Nothing I can discuss with you," he said, still in that
compassionate tone. I shivered, though the day was mild and fair. Down by the
lake he guided me, along the promenade, settling finally upon one of the white
gol benches.

He sat, pensive, staring out over the lakełs green-gray
raggedness. That same breeze had me holding my mane at the base of my neck,
that it not blind me. Khysłs copper hair whipped around his face. The wind, up
out of nowhere, died abruptly.

“I cannot call him," I reminded KhysÅ‚s sullenly.

“I had thought you might like to try." His eyes closed
momentarily, as a bitter laugh escaped my lips.

Santh was quick to answer Khysłs summons. From the southeast
he came, from behind us. His snapping wings sounded warning only moments before
he landed. Khys, of course, had known from whence the hulion came. He had only
stared off across the glassy becalmed water. Gone where I could not follow, was
Khys.

“Santh," I cried, delighted at the sight of him. I was on my
feet, running, as his clawed forepaws touched the ground. Wings furling, he
roared his greeting, loud as the falls for which I had named him. His great
mouth open wide, tongue darting amid blade-sharp fangs, he trumpeted again. And
I stopped. The hulion flattened his pointed ears to his head, his tufted tail
lashing. His pupils distended, muzzle jerking, he twisted his head about. His
growl was distinctly angered. I put out my hand, the right, very slowly. The
hulion sank to the grass.

“Santh," I whispered. One ear twitched. Muzzle shivered up,
exposing his weapons, white and gleaming. “I know, Santh, I know. But it is me."
The hulion was upset. I could not hear him. His mind-touch could not reach me.
He snarled, rose sinuous to all fours, sank down again, belly first, upon the
grass. His great claws clacked, repeatedly retracted. “Santh." I got down upon
my knees, that our eyes be level, still holding out my right hand. He stretched
his neck, his hindquarters wriggling. His wet, hot-breathed nose nudged my fingers.
I scratched there, watching his luminous pupils dilate. He extended his neck
still more. A rolling rumble began in his throat. Those great eyes closed. His
tail curled in against his side and lay still. Swallowing the catch in my
throat, I stuck my hand deep in his ear, rolled it around, fed him the wax I scooped
out. He opened one eye. His right paw reached out. He laid it upon my closed
thigh. Its spread covered them.

I heard Khys moving about. Santhłs ears flicked forward,
stayed pointed behind me, upon my left. He ceased his satisfied growling,
muttered to himself. The hulion retrieved its paw from my lap, sat up, front
paws tucked between rear. Santh had much grown since I had last truly seen him.
I found my fingertips at my band of restraint, with an effort disengaged them.

Santh regarded me, speaking plaintively in hulion. His tail
again flogged the grass. He rose up, took a step forward, butting his huge head
against my chest. I threw my arms around his furred neck, buried my head there,
smelling the pungent airiness of him. Oh, Santh, I love you, I thought,
wondering if he could hear me.

He pulled his great head away suddenly. A thrill of fear constricted
my belly. He hissed. I had never heard such a sound from him. He backed away,
his head snaking low, from side to side, growling. Then he whirled, and in one
bound had the air, the crack of his wings blocking my ears, the wind of it slapping
me back. I watched until he was a dot in the deep green sky, until the dot disappeared.

I turned to Khys. I had seen the hulion. He had allowed it.
His one hand toyed with the great chald of Silistra, the other hid within the
cloak licking around him. He watched me intently.

I would not cry. I had upset my tenuous equanimity. I had
disturbed Santh. I rubbed my naked arms with cold, moist palms.

“I will take you back," he offered. I nodded, fell in beside
him. He put arm and cloak around me, for warmth. I smiled up at him, thankful
for the small kindness. You are not what you were, I told myself fiercely. You
will never be. Be at least strong. Behave with grace.

“As befits a ShaperÅ‚s daughter," remarked Khys, softly mocking,
or commiserating, I knew not which.

“Have you any message for me, from Santh?" I asked, as he
headed us toward his tower. The sound of it was more bitter than I had intended.

Khys turned his head toward me, the parentheses that
enclosed his mouth suddenly graved deep and sharp. “He considers you
unfortunately afflicted," he said.

“What price are you exacting from me, to treat me thus? What
debt have I incurred?" I would not scratch at my band. I clasped my hands
behind my back, my eyes upon the white walkway ahead of us.

“Any other would have destroyed you out of hand," he said
wearily. “I may do it yet, to save my own sanity. I am constantly urged to do
so, by those who know just how great a power you unleashed upon the plain of
Astria. One might say you incurred a debt there great enough to wipe out your
life-right. Some, Gherein included, have demanded that payment. More vehemently
will such demands be made of me, now that you know your identity. You are not
free. It is that simple. Should I imprison you in some undertunnel, feed you
upon stale crusts, until you enter that fact into your conception?" he
demanded. His hand grasped my arm hard above the elbow.

“But as you yourself pointed out once, we did only your
will! You did not imprison Sereth, nor feed stale crusts to the cahndor of Nemar!"

“Would that owkahen allowed it," he muttered, squinting
ahead, toward his tower. His grip upon me loosened. I felt my blood rush to
heat the squeezed flesh. “I have to fill my councilÅ‚s empty seat. Then I will
see about your circle partner," he added, almost companionably, as if regretting
his harshness.

“My thanks," I managed.

His gaze flickered over me, though he did not turn his head.
I pushed my hair, wind-tickling, off my forehead. Up the wide steps he
propelled me.

“I must go do my work," said Khys as the attendants answered
his ringing summons and the doors opened before us. “The keep is unlocked. Stay
there until I send for you. Baern!" It was to the dark attendant he spoke. “See
her safely to my couch."

The guard reached out. Khys pushed me toward him. Then he
was gone down the steps.

“Lady," the guard invited, his eyes lowered. I preceded him,
taking the front passages, those of ornithalum and archite, that I might pass
the hulion tapestry upon the way. Before it I stood a long time gazing, until
the man made small noises in his throat, his body rustling its impatience as he
shifted. He was darkly hirsute, rather like some brist that had learned to walk
upright, if ponderously. When I adjudged him distressed unto the verge of
speech, I moved off toward the dharenłs keep.

The doors were still ajar. Without a backward glance I
slipped within. By the time I had turned to face them, they were closed and
locked.

I smiled to myself, as I went and pulled back the alcovełs
curtains. I sat upon the ledge a time, watching the water, attempting once more
to cut my mind adrift.

It was a sound like windłs wailing. Like standing atop the
Keening Rock of Fai-Teraer Moyhe on the eve of winter solstice, with the Embrodming Sea rumbling below. That wretched, that lonely was the sound that emanated from
my prison keep. I have been there, where the heart of the world beats the dirge
of the spirit upon Silistrałs bones, and I know. I crept toward the doors to my
prison, stealthy. They were not locked.

With infinite care I parted them, drew them back. Upon my
couch in that gray holding keep lay Liuma, curled into a ball, my own white
robe wrapped around her velvet darkness. I hovered there an ith, undecided. She
had not seen me.

“Presti mÅ‚it, Nemarchan," I said quietly. She stiffened,
sniffled, uncovered her head, using her arms instead to push herself upright. I
sałw the horror in her swollen eyes, the trembling of her puffy lips. She drew
her knees up to her chin, crossing her wrists about her ankles.

“Chayin said you recalled yourself," she said shakily, not
wanting to believe otherwise.

“I do," I admitted, leaning against the doorframe. “Whatever
it is that troubles you, it might ease you to bring it out here." I motioned
behind me, to KhysÅ‚s keep. “We could drink some kifra and consider it."

She looked at me warily, at Khysłs device, at my throat,
where beneath the silver and white silk nestled his band of restraint, warm pulsing
against my skin. If I had been she, I would have been much affrighted at what I
waswhat the Keepress Estri had become.

“There would be no harm in it," she decided muzzily. When
she rose, her movements were slow, uncoordinated.

I turned from her, went to fill two bowls. “Sit in the
alcove," I suggested. I poured the kifra, brought the drinks to her where she
sat beneath the window. When she reached up to take one, her light-nailed hands
shook.

“Would you speak of it?" I asked, sitting cross-legged upon
the cushions, my elbows upon my knees. I thought of Khys, and how displeased he
would be to see my limbs so arranged,

“How can you stand it?" she demanded, her black eyes
gigantic over the golden bowl. She did not sip, but gulped her kifra down. Her
lids closed, pulse showing on their gilded backs, she found more tears to shed.

“What?" I asked, discomfited.

“Him," she sniffed, discarding her empty bowl, smearing her
tears across her cheeks.

“Khys?" I wondered what he had done to her. Very probably,
he had done little. I had seen her tears before. “What did he do to you?"

“He ... I ... He is ..." She looked at me, imploring, as if
I should know.

“He is dharen of Silistra," I supplied. She nodded, her lips
twitching. I waited.

“Did you catch with Chayin?" she asked, her membranes fluttering
like crierłs wings.

“Did you catch with Khys?" I queried her back.

She started, rose to her knees, clasping her belly. “Uritheria
protect me!" she moaned. “I pray not. Please, did you?"

“No," I said. I understood part of her tears. If I had spawn
by Chayin, he would have choice between them. She did not want her sonłs
position endangered. Her fear, that I might bear Chayin a more worthy heir than
she, was not unfounded.

“I saw your son," she said, sitting up, relief taking the weight
from her shoulders.

“Indeed," I said. “And how did you find him?"

She shook her head, spread her hands wide. They still
trembled, pink-palmed. She licked her lips, red tongue darting. “Awesome," she
said.

“Have you taken a helsar?" I asked, to cover my confusion.
My child was eight passes old, surely too young for such an appellation.

“No," she murmured. “Nor do I wish to." Those slanted eyes
shot black fire at me. “Chayin, under its influence and that of the dharen, has
become a stranger to me. He is worse than ever. There is no controlling him."

I only smiled. That would bother the Nemarchan. When he had
been afflicted, she had worked her will through him.

“He was not even interested enough in the affairs of this
world to be present at the birth of his son," she said, upon a hiss wet with
poisonous spray.

“I bore mine, also, alone," I said, in what I hoped was a
commiserating tone. “Where is the cahndor?"

“With Sereth." And that hiss was sibilant in the extreme. “They
couch!" she spat, leaning so close that her breath rained upon my shoulder.

“They have long made such assignations their practice," I
admonished her, startled. “I would not attempt to get between them. You might
lose your place altogether." She straightened. I recollected something she had
said, long ago at Frullo jer. “You still live. You did not fulfill your prophecy
and die the death Chayin had in mind for you."

“Not yet, I have not," she said. Then: “I would have died,
had I been fool enough to linger near the coast of Menetph. I was inland, in
Menetph North, when the sea rose up and smote the city."

I had not known Menetph smitten. But if the coastline of
Astria had been changed in the holocaust, then why not elsewhere?

There was a silence between us. I rose to refill her bowl.
She grabbed it up and stood. I could look down upon the part in her black hair.

“Is Sereth well?" I asked her, as she followed me to the
kifra stand.

“I doubt that I have ever seen him well. He is recovered
from his temper of last evening, if that is what you mean." I wondered what
Chayin had told him of me.

“It would be a great favor if you would tell Chayin I must
speak with him," I said, pouring her golden kifra from the moisture-beaded
pitcher.

“About what?" she said softly.

I almost slapped her, then recalled that I sought her aid.

“About the arrar," I said, even softer.

She inclined her head. Understanding crossed her face like
a hulionłs shadow.

“Are you not afraid of KhysÅ‚s wrath?" she murmured, making
the jump. I reminded myself that Liuma was an accomplished forereader.

“One would be a fool not to fear him," I said coldly, seeing
her recollect her own fear in whatever had passed between her and the dharen.
Her eyes found my chald. “I might be able to keep him away from you," I
offered.

“Could you?" Gratitude afore the fact has always confounded
me. Her fingers found my arm, squeezed. I resisted the impulse to shake her
hand away. I lifted my full bowl with my free hand to my lips. The keep grew
dim, as if a cloud obscured the sun.

“Perhaps," I said, as if I was sure. “But I must know your
purpose here."

She took a step backward, her eyes opened so wide they
seemed dark stones amid fresh-fallen snow. Her mouth fell open. Wheeling,
spilling kifra down my leg, I saw what she had seen, and my bowl dropped from
nerveless fingers, splashing its contents upon the rusty mat.

It had been no cloud before the sun. There was a blinding
flash, a crackling as of burning parchment. An acrid wind, upon which rode
stinging grains of window, rattled the keepłs locked doors. Tiny Liuma grabbed
me around the waist, buried her head against me. I stood, unmoving, stroking
her hair, her whimpers rattling my flesh. Through the pulverized window, beyond
which hovered a creamy egg-shape, came a metal ramp that secured itself around
the sill with hooked claws. The metal screeched upon the stone. Over that
bridge, into Khysłs keep, scrambled two men, clothed but for heads and hands in
black form-fitting garb. Around their waists were wide, blinking belts. I saw
the red eyes of MÅ‚ksakkan death cubes. Their booted feet, first one pair, then
the other, hit Khysłs glass-sharded mat.

“Which one?" said one intruder, halting, arms akimbo. I
moved toward the prison keep, away from Liuma. She moaned, huddling.

“That one!" said the second, whose belt blinked more than
his fellowłs.

I kept moving, wishing I had retained the bowl, toward the
prison keep.

“Stop!" said the first, approaching. I stopped. I was far
enough. The second MÅ‚ksakkan, his attention upon Liuma, had his back to us. I
moved hesitantly toward the blond, my hands at my throat. Well away from the
wall I stopped again.

He came slowly toward me, head jutting forward, eyes alert.

“Please," I moaned, my voice atremble. “Do not hurt me." I
begged in clumsy MÅ‚ksakkan, omitting the contraction.

“Just come along," he said, in his own language, relieved. “No
one will hurt you." I walked slowly toward him. Temple, windpipe, throat?

“WhatÅ‚ll we do with the other one?" he called to his fellow,
turning his head. I leaped for it, hand drawn back, arm scissored. My three
stiffened fingers deepened the hollow in his throat, as my feet touched the
ground. He gurgled, fell unconscious. My arm hurt, burning pain to the
shoulder. I stepped back, clutching my fingers. The other MÅ‚ksakkan just
stared. I doubted that his friend was dead, but from the feel of my hand, he
should have been. I cursed my sluggish body.

“MÅ‚kinlin!" bawled the remaining MÅ‚ksakkan. I heard a scrabble
upon the bridge.

“Come take me," I invited the second, in proper grammar. The
man I had scored, I decided, was dead. He had yet to breathe. I felt uplifted,
turned my full attention upon the first, and the man who now jumped from the
swaying bridge into the keep.

“Come on, MÅ‚as .. . What?" He froze, eyes widened. I heard
noises, perhaps upon the stairs. “This one ... let that one go! Help me." He
started toward me, not deterred by the corpse. I backed toward the prison keep.
He had a decidedly un-MÅ‚ksakkan frame, graceful for all its bulk. The belt at
his waist was a veritable galaxy, blinking. He sidled. I retreated from him. He
grinned, gray eyes slitted.

“MÅ‚kin hadnÅ‚t the authority to use one of these on you," he
said to me, closing. Deftly he herded me, toward the corner. “I do. And I
wouldnłt mind a bit," he added, his eyes touching his dead companion. In his
hand was the incinerating device, its twin red eyes alight with baleful
promise. “If you arenÅ‚t on the ship at the count of three, youÅ‚re dead." He
spoke MÅ‚kaskkan, without any interest in whether or not I understood him.

“One," he said. I nodded, walking toward him.

“Two," he said, turning on his heels, the death cube trained
upon me. I realized then that he would do it. I ran, gained the ledge, my skin
aprickle, waiting for the hot tongue. I crouched there, in the wind. The
bridge, rivet-rough, swayed. Below, tiny, was the walk-waved grass, behind me,
the black-haired man.

“Two and a half," he said, grinning, touching my shoulder
with the cube. I looked across it, at the opening into the hover. I saw two
more men crouched there, squinting across the gap.

He pushed me lightly. I fastened my eyes upon the opening,
crawled onto the ramp. It lurched. My fingers clutched its edges, curling
around them. One leaned forward from inside the ship, extended his hand. The
wind took up my hair and blinded me with it. A hand slapped my buttocks. I
crawled, unseeing, my breath as loud as the high-tower wind. Crawled more, my
hands never leaving the edges, my hair fouling my arms, pulled by my knees. A
hand touched mine, grabbed my wrist. Another, at my shoulder, pulled me in, out
of the numbing gale. I stumbled; the hands held me upright. My feet touched a
resilient, fleshy surface. I shook my vision clear. The MÅ‚ksakkan loosed his
hold upon me. The gray-eyed man, the casualty upon his shoulders, jumped down
into the hover. Then I saw, through the hatch, what the last man, the blond,
found to do with Liuma. He lifted her up to the window ledge. It seemed to me
that she slept. Her arms swung loose, her body untenanted as he dropped her out
the window. Running crouched, he crossed the gap. Humming obediently, the
bridge let go the towerłs sill, retracted itself. I saw the claws come over the
sill as the hatch sides met. I swallowed hard, wondering if her body had yet
splashed upon the grass.

I turned from the featureless star-steel doors. About one of
the hoverłs six couches the men clustered, all but the gray-eyed one, who sat
with a leg thrown up on the hatch-side console, arms crossed watching me.

“So youÅ‚re what all the fuss is about," he drawled, insolent.

“And who are you?" I asked him. The muttering from the couch
tinged angry. I could have taken two MÅ‚ksakkans. “You seem no MÅ‚ksakkan." It
came out ill-phrased in Silistran syntax.

“No MÅ‚ksakkan I am," he mimicked me. “As for my planet of
origin, you have never heard of it."

“I doubt that," I said, thinking that I was going to be
sick. I pressed my palms against my stomach. The vibration coming up through my
feet increased. The ceiling, lighted squares, flickered, steadied. The
gray-eyed one turned and slapped three toggles, punched up a visual display.

“No input! Maref, letÅ‚s see your stuff! Manual till they cut
in from their side." A red light was blinking angrily. The hover bucked,
shuddered. I sank down upon the springy floor, my stomach distraught. Twisting
my head, I saw more red lights glowering. At a console beneath a grid viewer,
Liumałs killer lifted a panel, clucked, held up a reel, bent-flanged, from
which a chewed tape edge dangled.

“Splice, my ass," I heard him mutter. “I knew this would happen.
You canłt mix systems." Another, blond, with two boxes in hand, came to aid
him. The brown-haired one hurried toward us, turned a couch to face the console
upon which the gray-eyed lounged, set to work there.

“IÅ‚ll have lock for you in a minute," said the man at our
console, fingers flying over the input keys, replugging buses, cursing softly.
Near the gray-eyedłs shoulder, a reel began to whirl, jerkily. The
brown-haired, slight man leaned back in the couch. It wriggled under him. “Got
it," he sighed, a green light igniting to uphold him. All across the console,
green replaced red. The brown-haired man laced his hands behind his head. “ShouldnÅ‚t
you tie her up or something, MÅ‚tras?"

The gray-eyed one took his eyes from the display grid across
the hover. “Why? She wonÅ‚t be any trouble. Will you?"

“No," I said, curling my legs under me, leaning upon one
arm. I wished my stomach would cease its rolling.

“Stand up," MÅ‚tras said. I complied shakily. He grinned, let
his eyes rove me. He snapped his tongue loudly. I could imagine what it meant.
The brown-haired one chuckled, leering, and made some comment in a slang
unfamiliar to me.

“Now, Maref, you canÅ‚t do that," he admonished. “At least,
not yet. Me first." He slid off the consoleÅ‚s edge. “Would you like to take a
coucha seat, that is?" I thought of the numerous ways I could have killed him
if I had been free of Khysłs band of restraint.

“No, thank you," I said, feeling the hatchÅ‚s star steel cold
against my back. I wished I had worn, this day, more than the short length of
white and silver silk. Green blinking shot sick shadows over my skin, colored
the neutrals of the hover, turned the white silk upon me sky green. Then it
ceased.

“WhatÅ‚ll we do with MÅ‚kinlin?" asked LiumaÅ‚s killer, raising
his head from the guts of the console.

“Let him decide, MÅ‚as! You can stand it until we dock,"
snapped the brown-haired man, in the tone of a superior. The black-haired one
who seemed to have my charge had called him Maref, no contraction, which put
him either very high or very low by birth in the MÅ‚ksakkan hierarchy.

“Where are you taking me?" I directed my question to him.

He held up both hands, palms toward me, as if to ward me
off. “Ask MÅ‚tras," he suggested. “I canÅ‚t even talk to you. I never saw you. IÅ‚m
not really here. IÅ‚m vacationing on the moons of Dyriyiil. Wish it were true!"
He chuckled, leaning back.

I turned once more to MÅ‚tras, whose belt had come to
many-eyed life. He quieted it with a touch. Then he reached over the console to
slip a headrest from its housing. Holding the spidery wires to his ear, he
spoke into the distended mouthpiece, his other hand raised to me, that I keep
silent. I turned away, my eyes circling around the hover. My fingers ached,
those of my right hand. The nails throbbed. I might, I thought, have cracked a
carpal, from the way my arm felt. I rubbed it with my left palm. The two
blonds, archetypically MÅ‚ksakkan in their pale slightness and their skin-fitting
black uniforms, had swung the black contour seats toward the display grids. They
lay upon them, talking low together. Upon the seat to our right was the dead
one. The next seat of the circle lay empty; the one upon its left held the
brown-haired Maref; the next, closing the circle, was also empty. None of their
uniforms had any familiar insignia; nothing but the belts, whose meaning I
could not read. By omission, then, this was not a Bipedal Federation Liaison
Unit.

They had killed Liuma.

“You had best get away from the hatch," said MÅ‚tras,
pointing firmly to the unoccupied seat before me. I sidled past him and sat
upon its edge. It sought to clasp my buttocks. I sought a solid surface. I wiggled,
it writhed. I sighed and made my hips still. It quieted. MÅ‚tras laughed, seated
himself beside me. The lounge quivered, reformed under me as it added his comfort
to its task.

“Now, if youÅ‚d lain down, you would have been better off,"
he commented, resting his elbows upon his knees, regarding me sidelong. He
reminded me of Dellin, though he was lighter-muscled. His hair, unruly, harth
black, was cut to the nape of his neck. His skin carried a gray-green tinge
beneath it darkness.

“This is a large hover," I observed.

“This," he corrected me, “is a special hover. Show her."
Maref grunted, but raised a hand to his belt. The grid before him disappeared,
to be replaced by the coldest black I had ever seen, in which few stars attempted
a desultory sparkle.

“I am going to be sick," I warned them, doubling over. From
somewhere into my swimming vision came a white receptacle. A hand held it
against my mouth while I heaved. Very little did my stomach give up, but it was
long before it ceased trying. I was no longer upon my planet. I was in a tiny
craft adrift in space. I conceived every catastrophe I knew possible in such a
situation. My skin slicked with fearful sweat. The bag was gone from my sight,
replaced by a lined palm upon which two tiny spheroids rested.

“Take these." I managed to swallow them, holding the
proffered sack of water in both hands, squeezing it up through the nipple.

“ThatÅ‚s enough, or youÅ‚ll lose it," advised MÅ‚tras. I handed
the water sack back, first squeezing some into my palms, that I might cool my
burning cheeks with it.

“You might have said you get star-sick," he admonished me.

“I did not know," I said shakily, shifting upon the undulous
couch. I must have blanched.

“Look at me," he snapped. I did so. He had a webbing of tiny
lines around his eyes. “Good. Ask me questions or something. Keep your mind
busy till the pills work."

“Who are you?"

“I am"and his lips curled“Trasyi Quenni-saleslor Stryl Yri
Yrlvahl. Most call me MÅ‚tras, in the B.F. worlds. You might say I am an adopted
MÅ‚ksakkan."

“And in what function do you serve the Bipedal Federate
worlds?" I asked. He had been right: I was not familiar with any world that
named its male children in such a fashion.

Nor did I know a speech that rolled off the tongue so
musically; I had never heard such a language. I would have remembered. The
reels upon the data-graph of the hatch-side console twitched, rolled, stopped.
The board chattered. Hot, dry machine breath filled the air. Insulation,
carbonized, tickled my nostrils. I hoped this ailing beast in which we rode
would make it whither-bound. “What are you?" I asked again, risking a turn upon
the blessedly quiescent couch to face him.

“A mechanic." He shrugged. “When the machine that runs the
B.F. malfunctions, I fix it. However I choose." His eyes flicked up, caught
mine. I arched my back, rubbing my arm.

“How did that bring us both here, now? What do you want with
me?"

“Now, that is very complicated," he said, sitting up. He
raised one arm over his head, bent at the elbow. The other he twisted behind
his back, grasping hands between his shoulder blades. He flexed, pulling hard.
He repeated the actions, exchanging the positions of right and left arms. Such
muscular casings are universal among those who use their bodies. He took a deep
breath, judging the effect. “You know anything about politics? Most Silistrans,
Iłve been told, donłt."

“What kind of politics?" I said suspiciously.

“Interworld. Silistra and MÅ‚ksakka, for example?"

“No," I said. He made that clicking sound; two click, two
notes.

“Then I canÅ‚t explain it to you. IÅ‚m not going to kill you,
I donłt think. Iłll probably make some kind of deal with your people thatłll
get you back home." He frowned, running his thumb over his lower lip. “But you
canłt tell, with Silistrans. Yours is not the most rational of races." And I
caught the change in speech pattern, the musical inflection of his last sentence.

“How did you hide your hest?" I asked him, using the Silistran
word, for MÅ‚ksakkan has none.

“What?" he said, one brow, the left, diving downward.

How did you implement your plan, without Khys, who sees and
controls a great amount of owkahen, the time-coming-to-be, finding out and
obstructing you?"

“I donÅ‚t know." He grinned, a flashing of teeth. The
commander, Maref, rolled upon his side, facing Młtrasł back.

“Come on, tell her. IÅ‚d like to hear it. Craziest thing IÅ‚ve
ever done in my lifeand in broad daylight!"

MÅ‚tras shot the other a warning look. His gray eyes were
chilled when they returned to me.

“I got a little help. And that"he turned his head, speaking
over his shoulder“is all IÅ‚m willing to say. Do not continue to question me!"
Music, once more.

“Khys will surely reduce you to component atoms for this," I
said.

“Your playmate?"

“Couch-mate," I corrected him.

“ThatÅ‚s why I went after you, not him. All our calculations
say that he will deal, with you among the stakes. The probability of me getting
in there, killing him, and out with my life, was minusless than nil." His eyes
were black-ringed, like frozen clouds. I thought I needed nothing less than one
more assignation, but his whole bearing screamed that determination.

“Probability." I laughed coldly. “What know you of such
things?"

He laughed also. I marked it strange, as he shifted, slid
closer. “IÅ‚m a stochastic improviser. My planet is provisionally entered in the
Federate, the provisions upon our side being that some aspect of the B,F. prove
itself to be more than tonally boring. IÅ‚m part of the test group." He leaned
forward, toward me. “IÅ‚m doing what might be akin to discharging chaldra, if I
understand the concept."

“Are you telling me you sort?" I asked, my fingers at my
throat, at the band beneath the silk.

“I guess," he said. “Musically, mathematically; I have a
talent for asking the right questions of a very specialized computer. I
interpret that output. Then I hear it, and I guess. IÅ‚m an aural symbolist. But
sort? If what Dellin and Młlennin have reported is accurate, we donłt do anything
like it."

“Had Dellin a hand in this?" I demanded.

“No." He clicked once, sharply. “He didnÅ‚t know. He is due
for a lengthy rest. Those last reports we got from him had a great deal of misinformation
in them. Men donłt last long upon Silistra." His wandering fingers found my
thigh, climbed it. I wondered why he did not simply use me and have done with
it.

“What kind of misinformation?" I asked dully.

“That you were amnesiac, helpless, little more than a
vegetable, an easy score. That you would be there alone." The light flickered.
I flinched, staring around anxiously. The MÅ‚ksakkans lay quiet, undisturbed.

“ItÅ‚s nothing, just their remote commencing docking
procedure," he assured me.

“It was not nothing the last time," I said, still with an
effort as his arm went around my shoulders. Maref, from the adjacent couch,
made derisive noises.

“I brought that reel with me from home. The tolerances,
capstan tensions, werenłt close enough. It happened in the trial run. We
spliced it and made a copy. But you lose clarity in a copy, so we went with the
spliced tape. It held pretty well. You saw the difference, felt it, running on
the second-generation mix. You;ll realize it now that the Oniar-M has us remote."
And indeed, I could feel the lessening of vibration. The lights were steadier.

“What is the Oniar-M?" I adjudged him agitated. The pulse
beat under his jaw, hasty.

“Our transportation to MÅ‚ksakka. ThatÅ‚d be a big trek for
this sailless boat." His finger, thick-nailed, touched KhysÅ‚s device. “ThatÅ‚s
permanent?" he asked.

“It is the dharenÅ‚s mark," I said, throwing my shoulders
back. “ShouldnÅ‚t we lie down, strap in?" I had, I noted with satisfaction,
properly contracted.

“You didnÅ‚t answer me," MÅ‚tras observed, his lips drawing
tight, removing his arm.

“The device," I said, “is permanent." I met his eyes, which
I had been long avoiding.

“Somebody did that to me, IÅ‚d kill him," he said.

“I do not think the dharen would even consider you," I said
archly.

He put his elbows on his knees, regarded the floor between
his feet. “YouÅ‚d think someone in your position would be grateful to be gotten
out of it. I thought you would. Logic pointed to it. Instead, you kill one of
my people. I play a sus-chord, and you respond with a dissonance." He chewed
upon the inside of his cheek.

“If you want me grateful, remove the band at my throat with
your formidable technology," I suggested.

“And what would your playmate say, if we did that?" he asked
innocently.

He knew, then, exactly what he was about. Either he was intending
to return me to the dharen, or for his own reasons wanted me tractable. I
sighed, letting my fingers play in my chald. His body, relaxed, gave me no clue
to his temper. I had no sense of him, talentless degenerate though he doubtless
was. All his disarming banter had been just thatand of no consequence. Yet he
had taken me, out from under the care of Khys, with Chayin and Sereth close at
hand. They had had no inkling. Liuma, in her weeping, had known something. She
would never know anything again.

Maref, with a grunt, sat up in answer to the blinking
consolełs summons. He put his ear, then his mouth, to the headset. Then he
ripped it off his head, eyes slitted, and brought it to MÅ‚tras, playing the
cord out behind him. “For you." He grimaced.

Rising, MÅ‚tras received it. The two blonds sat up, diving
for their own receivers.

“Let him," MÅ‚tras said into the mouthpiece, chin tucked in,
his body an S-curve of defiance. His fingers drummed upon his belt, sharp taps
in the silence. I stood. MÅ‚tras motioned Maref toward me. He came, fingers to
his lips.

“Lick it, for all I care. We canÅ‚t afford to further implicate
ourselves." Pause. “No. Let me talk to him." He clicked an intricate pattern,
three times. I decided, watching him, that when Khys destroyed him, I would
like to be present.

“Look, man, this is no time for nerves." He snarled into the
headset, his eyes closed. “I donÅ‚t care what he said. DonÅ‚t worry. He couldnÅ‚t."
Pausing, he tapped his belt in a definite sequence. The hatch-side console came
alight. A geometric graph showed there in green. Across it grew two root systems,
one red, one white. Where they intersected, numbers flashed, changing as fast
as heartbeats. “Some kind of illusion. People donÅ‚t just appear out of thin
air. All right, sparkling air. No, no such thing. Wait ..."

He lifted the phone away from his ear. The two blond MÅ‚ksakkans
were crouched at the foot of the far console, sputtering with suppressed laughter.

“Look," MÅ‚tras continued. “I will, if you do not calm down,
disconnect." A short pause. “IÅ‚ll push the papers through, if that is what you
want. But if youłre right, youłll be safer there." His tone had lost its sureness.
His gaze, rapt upon the ever-changing numbers, grew shadowed. His frame
straightened up. The MÅ‚ksakkans were no longer amused.

“The situation has altered markedly," he said. “IÅ‚ll send
someone for you. No, nothing urgent. Just that since you know, now, youłre
useless. We might as well save what we can. Two hours, at the port." Smile. “How
long is that in real time? Itłs close. Try." He took off the headset, extended
it to the empty air, his attention on the graph, whose white lines had taken on
a tinge of blue.

Maref took it from him, waving his hand before the larger
manÅ‚s abstracted face. “We donÅ‚t read minds, MÅ‚tras."

Clicking, MÅ‚tras lowered his head, quieted the console from
his belt. “Call Oniar-M. Have them pick up Dellin at Port Astrin."

“I could go back and ..." Maref offered, broke off,
shrugged, and hastened to the board. MÅ‚tras, who had turned his back to him,
glared at me, crossing the distance between us in three strides. He grasped my
arm urgently, turned me toward the seat I had so gladly vacated. Meekly I let
him push me toward the half-sentient black couch.

“What occurred?" I asked, coming to terms with the soft,
ever-moving plush of the seat. His left leg pressed mine. Again he balanced his
elbows upon his spread knees.

“IÅ‚m not about to tell you," he said angrily, his head in
his hands.

“Let me tell you," I said, joy making me careless, smug.

“DonÅ‚t! DonÅ‚t make me covet what information you have. You
wouldnłt enjoy our methods of extraction." His reproof was sharp.

“Dock in three minutes," Maref announced. MÅ‚tras did not
seem to hear.

“Tell me!" he said, straightening up, his brows drawn down
over his eyes. “Go ahead. What has occurred?"

“You spoke with Dellin. Khys or one of his council appeared
to take him to task for what you have done. Seeing that he knew nothing, that
one gave him a demand for my return and a threat of retaliation. Dellin was
never very brave. He wants out. I cannot see how Dellin came to know of you,
but I would call it some machine-aided determination."

“I thought you were talentless while wearing that collar,"
he said softly his eyes crinkled.

“I guessed," I said. “I know Khys."

He bit his cheek a moment. “I wish I did," he said. “Sparkling
air, yet. He can do that?" He surveyed the hover, as if looking for Khys behind
him.

“Two minutes," said Maref dryly.

“And so much more I doubt that you could conceive his limits."

He awakened his belt, I thought I saw something spinning
among the lights.

“Could he," he said very clearly, “destroy somethingsay,
this shipfrom his present position upon Silistra, without mechanical aid?"

“And therefore, indefensibly, to a machine culture .... Yes,
surely, though he might hesitate to do so with me aboard."

“Might?" His belt suddenly quieted, as if sharing the
concern that froze him.

“He has what he desired from mea male child. He would spend
me, doubtless, if the prize was dear enough." I did not believe a word of it,
but I wanted MÅ‚tras to take the falsehood, camouflaged so lavishly with truth.

“One minute," said Maref.

IV: The Gulf of Alternate Conceptions

Ijiyr was the name of the instrument MÅ‚tras played. The
sound of it, coaxed by dextrous fingers, toned sonorous around the cabin.
Crystalline, piercing, thick as running water came that quarter-tone
composition, for a time that was not long, but so meaningfully filled it
stretched eternity.

As he put it by upon the table, a sad yearning filled me, to
be again where those sounds had winged us. He had taken me with him, where the
music spirits go, out of cabin, of confinement, to a place where I bore no band
of restraint, nor the heavier weight of my Shapersł heritage. Brought almost to
tears by the melodyłs beauty. I could only sit a time, breathing. Młtras
himself was quiet, loose-muscled, leaning back in the cabinłs marsh-gray chair.

I sat in the other, which was green-toned and mercifully
inanimate. Between us was a burnished table of some metallic-seeming substance.
The cabin was sectioned, diffusely lit, windowless. Between the two sleeping
slabs was a partition, subdivided, that served food, information, entertainment.

One wall offered a panoramic view of the Western Forest. I had asked MÅ‚tras, had been told that the Western forest was the greatest
natural wonder upon MÅ‚ksakka. It looked like any other forest save that the
colors, beneath a gray-brown sky seemed dull. The tree shapes, if you looked at
them closely, were not quite right by Silistran standards. The opposite wall
held some rather soothing Torth wall sculpture, four pieces that meshed the
space between them, light green, into an integral part of the artistsł conception.
The cloud-toned wall held the door, with its red-glowing, oblong palm-lock.
Across from it was the entry into the cabinłs washroom, flanked by storage
units, doored and drawered with the warm, dully burnished metal. That same
metal floored and ceilinged the cabin, pedestaled the table and sleeping slabs
securely in place. The covers and hanging that might be drawn for privacy
around the slabs were a rich brown velvet.

I had gone and sat upon one of those slabs, despairing of
ever learning to sleep so high off the ground, upon such a squishy, uncertain
surface. The pills that had calmed my stomach were wearing off, as was the drugłs
attendant easing of my nerves. When, I wondered, would Khys reclaim me? I
hugged myself, cold, frightened.

MÅ‚tras had not troubled me, but gone to his slab and gotten
the ijiyr from its case. Trilling some tentative scales, he had been
unsatisfied, clicking, his dark fingers running agilely upon the lucent keys.
He placed it upon the table, gone to rummage in the storage drawers. When he
returned with a tiny cube and a brace of tools, my curiosity had drawn me to
the thing, lying silent, as long as my forearm, upon the metal. It was a keyboard
and stringed instrument both, with a tiny and complex square of exposed wiring,
under which were dials and switches.

He ministered to it, concentrated, intent. Thrice he touched
a string, twice reset a red-switch,

“What is it?" I asked when at last he sank into the gray
chair and pulled the instrument into his lap.

“An ijiyr. I think with it," he had said, sinking his chin
to his chest, his right hand striking the first chord. I do not remember
sitting down. Only the sound that took life and inhabited the air, do I recall.
The scale he employed pivoted, metamorphosed, engaged. He joined modes in ways
I had never before imagined. That level of sophistication in music is oft
inaccessible. MÅ‚tras was eloquently, spiritually direct. Upon Silistra, a musician
of such stature would have been high-chalded, a dharener among his kind, But he
was not of Silistra. He was some kind of mechanized Slayer, about the business
of Bipedal Federation. I felt momentary disgust, that they would waste such a
talent, as I looked at him, his spirit slow returning from its outward fight,
his jaw and neck aglitter with moisture.

“You should not do else but that," I said to him honestly.

He clicked, eyed me without turning. “I am no planner," he
said cryptically. “I havenÅ‚t the stamina to play that much." Then he did turn,
put his elbows upon the table, resting his face in his palms. “I have this feeling
you and I keep talking just to the left of each otherwe think wełre
communicating, but wełre misapprehending, and itłs getting worse."

“The gulf of alternate conceptions." I nodded. “We have no
contexually agreed upon symbols for what might be expressedthere are none in MÅ‚ksakkan,
certainly." I recollected twice, since the hover had discharged us into the
great gleaming tube leading inship, that such had occurred. Once he had asked
me what type of restraint Khysłs band put upon me. As my ears cracked clear, in
the enclosure that had come to be around us, I had tried to answer. When the
metal doors slid back, exposing a yellow, bright-lit corridor, he held up his
hands in defeat, conceding that since we could not determine a common concept
of either time or space, we could not sanely try to discuss events pertaining
to them. Then, as the MÅ‚ksakkans who had manned the small craft left us, in
that central hub, many-legended, which gave access to every level of the huge
craft, he had asked me if I would watch the ship take sail. And I had refused,
venting my distaste and discomfort at being inside a machine, my life dependent
upon the perfect function of a number of tiny nonsentient devices.

“And how would you get across the void?" he had demanded,
somehow hurt by what I said.

“By my will, if I so choose," I had snapped defensively.

And he had laughed derisively, saying that he would like to
see it. I assured him he most probably would, stung by his disbelief. We kept,
in common accord, a long silence that ended only with his music.

“What does your alternate conception dictate that I call
you?" he said, poking his ijiyr. It whispered a tritone. He straight-fingered
the strings, sliding down an octave. “Well-Keepress?" He tasted it, surely his
preference, his tone rich with connotation.

“Dhareness, if you will. Or Keepress, though long past is
that. Or crell, or saiisa, I care not. My given name, when I have borne it, has
most times seemed sufficient." I thought of that time as crell when even my
name had been stripped from me, at Chayinłs hand. Near to five years it had
been since I lay back upon the high couch of Astria to service whomsoever the moment
dictated. “You may," I said in a much-softened tone, “if you choose, call me
Estri."

“I would like that," he said, his voice a stream coursing
gravel, his eyes upon his hand upon his instrument. “I would make this as
pleasant as possible for you," he began hesitantly. “I havenÅ‚t yet bound you,
or hurt you, though you proved yourself deserving of both when you killed MÅ‚kinlin."
He looked up from under his brows, head still bent. “I donÅ‚t know if I believe
all this supernormal stuff, but seeing you, I believe a lot more of what IÅ‚ve
heard about Silistra."

This, I knew, was the moment. “I would be indebted to you if
you would keep me from Dellinłs hands," I said upon my softest breath, letting
my fingers twist in my lap, biting my lip. “He has reason, perhaps, to abuse
me." I trembled.

“DonÅ‚t worry," he assured me gruffly, “this is my project. I
have to be able to return you to your couch-mate." He grinned, that he had used
the proper term. If one would seem less a danger, seek aid against some small
threat.

“You must be sure of your safety, to wait upon him," I observed.

“If I left him there, knowing of us, IÅ‚d be a fool." He
sighed, sat back in his chair. “Your friend Khys gave us a time limit within
which to return you. My guess is, hełs pretty busy right now, and that hełll
wait. If hełs got all that power, hełll take you when itłs convenient. If not,
I donłt have to worry."

“What happens at the end of the time limit?"

“If we donÅ‚t return you?" Softly, plucking tiny high notes. “HeÅ‚ll
relieve us of our most distant moon, Niania." His eyes searched my face, his
own expression uncommitted. “That moon is populous," he added. “The destruction
that such an unprecedented occurrence would wreak is incalculable. There are
the other two moons to consider. And upon MÅ‚ksakka, earthquake, flooding,
possible volcanic eruption, axial realignment, violent turbulencetoo much to
conceive." I only sat and looked at him. I was not shocked, as he seemed to be.
“Could he, realistically, do such a thing?"

“Before the battle of Amarsa, Å‚695, even I could have done
it." I raised my arms above my head, stretched, wriggling. “Of course he can.
It is easy to just unmake something, especially something large. Harder it is
to take a thing and change it, leaving all else around it unchanged. Did he
choose to take such drastic measures, he would, I am sure, contain all side
effects. Khys has a great reverence for life. He would not kill so many as you
project."

MÅ‚tras shielded his eyes with a spread hand. “You think heÅ‚ll
do it, then," he said from under it. “You think he can do it."

“I have never known him to break his expressed word," I said
solemnly. “Give me back to him now, and you might avoid all that will otherwise
follow."

“I canÅ‚t do that. I have great deal at stake. I need time."

“Khys has given you time," I whispered, wishing he had not
done so.

“I donÅ‚t believe any of this," he spat. “I canÅ‚t believe
it. IÅ‚m sitting here actually considering aborting a project because some
back-space monarch threatened a not-much-saner local officer who is long overdue
for a rest: ęDivest you of your smallest moonł was the quote I got! Itłs
unreasonable to demand that we stretch our credibility that far." He rose and
paced, stopped before me.

“What did your computer say?" I asked

“CanÅ‚t get a sane answer put of it, either. The basic
information we fed it has shown up faulty. IÅ‚m going to have to tear down the
program and start again. All I want the bastard to do is negotiate! Behave like
a civilized being, thatłs not too much to ask, is it?" He glowered down upon
me, his hips jutting forward. “Is it?" he snarled.

“Losing," I said, craning my neck to meet his eyes, “is not
in Khysłs conception."

He looked at me with evident disgust. “I donÅ‚t know who you
people think you are," he said through curled lips, as the partition between
the sleeping slabs began chiming. His boots slapping the steel floor, he
hurried to it, palmed its face, and flopped down upon the velveted slab before
it.

“What!" he snapped at the partition. “It better be good."

“Uh ... we have collection on Dellin, dock fifty-seven minutes."
The partition spoke in MarefÅ‚s voice. “Systems check out fine. Your favorite
toy thinks it needs alternate instructions, having aborted when the probability
low you specified was reached. The boss wants to talk to you. Wełre rigged
right to jump, and holding." I found myself halfway to the slab, stopped,
crossed the distance.

“#67-a4-32. ItÅ‚s a Systems A reel I brought with me," said MÅ‚tras,
his belt as jitter-lit as the partition, where a small replica of Marefłs face
chewed its lips.

“Wait. Got it," said Maref, pleased at whatever he saw
offscreen. A blurred figure passed behind his head, was gone. MÅ‚tras patted the
slab beside him. I perched there. “And where"Maref grinned"will that take us,
if you donłt mind me asking?"

“My place. Wide elipse. Orbit only," said MÅ‚tras, in the
tone of one who will hear no argument, sprawling more widely upon the slab.

Maref raised one tiny eyebrow. “YouÅ‚ll clear it?"

“My presence clears it. But IÅ‚ll call the lady and confirm,
gladly."

“Fine with me," he said, miniature eyes roving. “Having any
success?" They stopped upon me, well-replicated MÅ‚ksakkan blue.

“Some," MÅ‚tras said. “IÅ‚ll let you know later."

“You ought to spend some of that charm on you-know-who. SheÅ‚s
feeling resentful, usurped. This side trip wonłt help."

“It might save her unfortunately extended life," he said. “IÅ‚ll
call you back." And the face was gone, the screen panel retracted, replaced by
what I had first seen there: an attractive arrangement of geometric light
forms.

MÅ‚tras stretched hugely, muscles sliding under the black,
clinging uniform. I wished I had retained my seat at the table. What might lurk
there, beneath the cloth? His appraising glance was unmistakable. I hoped he
was not barbed, as are the men of Katrir, or overly acid-bearing, as are the
Oguasti. He was from a world with which I was not familiar. What microorganisms
might he bear within him?

“Does your race have a compatibility index number?" I said,
as he continued to stare meaningfully at me.

“.8888, if it eases your mind." He chuckled. “Come here."

It did ease me. Physiologically he was no danger, I presumed
to think. “HadnÅ‚t you better finish your business?" I temporized, rising from
the slab edge. Blur-fast, his hand reached out, imprisoning my leg just above
the knee. Cruelly he pressed the nerves there. I moaned, sank down upon the
slab, my fingers unable to loose his grip. He took his hand away, tapped his
belt, silent. I wriggled upon the plush, feeling the slide of silk against it.
Rising, he slapped casually at the partition, just below the geometric display.
A womanłs face cleared upon the screen even as it moved forward. Behind her
tawny head was deep blackness, and the stars. I shivered.

“It took you long enough," she said without preamble. Pale
eyes avoided me with determination. Around her mouth were shadowy brackets of
flesh. She twitched one. “I wish youÅ‚d tell me first, in the future, before you
countermand my orders!"

“If I did that, youÅ‚d likely not have one. IÅ‚m concerned
with timing. That means exactly the right move at precisely the right time. Not
three secondsł error can I allow. You canłt even talk that fast, let alone
think. Do what I say, and donłt bother me, and wełll be rid of each other soon
enough. I donłt like this any better than you."

“I ought to countermand, and you can walk home from MÅ‚ksakka!"
she raged.

“If this project blows, there might not be a MÅ‚ksakka," said
MÅ‚tras, squinting.

She snorted, twitched her mouth again. Into the screen came
a many-ringed hand bearing a gemmed stylus. She pursed her lips upon it,
gnawing contemplatively. I saw her seek her dignity, pull it around her like a
palpable cloak. The stylus and the blunt-fingered, bejeweled hand bearing it,
were withdrawn. Then it reappeared.

“You there!" she blared, pointing the tooth-marked
instrument at me.

I flinched. MÅ‚tras covered his lower jaw with his hand,

“Yes?" I acknowledged, throwing my hair over my breasts.

“You killed one of my people. When they finish with you, youÅ‚re
mine. And I assure you, youłre going to wish you were dead!" And the screen
depicting her suddenly livid face went blank. I pushed my hair out of my eyes.
My fingers rubbed my temples, and they were clammy. Behind the woman had been
the stars. I had taken some comfort in this larger ship. It seemed solid, like
a building upon stolid earth. But it was just a slightly bigger craft, floating
precariously in the ever-dark.

“Now, donÅ‚t get sick again," he growled, as I slumped
forward, my arms pressed around me. “She canÅ‚t touch you. ItÅ‚s nothing, donÅ‚t
cry." MÅ‚tras rubbed my back.

“Why donÅ‚t you just imprison me? Do whatever youÅ‚re going to
do and get it done?" I gulped for air, shaking spasmodically. His hand upon me
stilled.

“Sure, leave you alone. ThatÅ‚s all I need. IÅ‚m responsible
for you. I acquired you. I have to hold onto you long enough to use you."

“How long can this go on?" I wailed it aloud, though softly,
of a sudden anguished, so far from home, in a band of restraint. I pulled my
legs up against me, my arms around my knees, soles on the slab.

He found some obscure humor in my discomfort, shaking his
dark head, chuckling. Rising from the slab, he carefully divested himself of
his blinking belt, wedging it securely between cushion and wall at the slabłs
head.

“It will be," he said as his clothing swelled a puddle of
black upon the burnished floor, “about three days until we orbit my home world.
ęThisł can go on, doubtless, that long. Khysłs ultimatum gives us twice that."
He turned to face me: .8888 normal; wide-sprung ribs, short-coupled torso,
ridged belly. His arms and legs were long, his neck and middle fully sheathed
in muscle upon large thick bones. His sex seemed to the eye unremarkable,
adequate, awake in its lair of black curling hair. I was not in the least interested.
I have, I thought, been away from the couch too long. My tastes have become
overly rarefied. There was nothing wrong with this man who stood before me. He
at present held my life, he would at any moment have my use. And I was
mind-locked. My body felt only numb and cold, though it could not, surely, have
been the wind from the abyss. Not here, not under these circumstances; it could
not have followed me here. I fought to find the present, my flesh, to stand
upon the moment, peg the time, as befitted a Shaperłs daughter.

The ache in my throat came first to me, and with it I bought
delay. “Might I have water?" I petitioned him. He brought it from the partition
dispenser. Sipping, I regarded him from under my hair.

“IÅ‚ve let you sample my skills," he said when I put the
drink by. “Now IÅ‚d try yours." I could hear it in him, the fascination for my
calling, for what I was, rather than who. I sighed, and rose, brushing by him,
letting my trailing hand make the first touch. Only did I greet it, soft as a
wirragaetłs wing, as I put sufficient distance between us. Revealing the body before
a man did I then review, in its most extended version, that I might in that
time fan the fire low within me. MÅ‚tras, with instinctive etiquette, stood
silent participant with me; he also rising, fists upon hips thrown aggressively
forward. Deep below my navel, my heat hissed and grew. I turned full around,
slowly.

He lifted me clear off the ground in mid-turn, and it was
his face then that warned me. But truly, it was late. Customs differ. Morality
is only a selective overlay. I saw the outline of his fist against my belly. I
clamped my teeth upon my wrist, tasting my own blood. No MÅ‚ksakkan was MÅ‚tras.

“YouÅ‚re small in the hips," he said coldly, in the way of
such a man after couching. I noted the beaded sweat upon his upper lip, the
deep intake of his breath.

“Still, think you?" I said in Silistran. I lay upon my back,
my hips turned, assessing my damages. He laughed, with clicks.

“Have you been long without?" I asked, still in my language.

“Long enough," he grunted, rolling onto his side. He leaned
upon a crooked arm. His pulse beat hard in the veins that rode, webber-like,
near the surface of his skin. His Silistran was hesitant, unaccented. “Something
new, perhaps?" he postulated, over what he had done.

“My body knew it not," I admitted, not adding that I had
seen Sereth do such a thing, to another man, upon a time.

He ran his free hand over my hip, under the dharenłs chald.
His fingers counted the gol-drops. If he had wanted to shock me, to make me
wary, respectful, he had succeeded. “How did you find it?" He smiled over the
Silistran phrase.

“I would not add it to my practice, given the choice. But I
am willing to admit I will never forget it." Lest he again strive to make
himself singular in my sight, I spoke, praised his skill. Tentatively I moved
my body, moaned, lay still.

“Please do not give me up to those others, MÅ‚tras." I
reached out my hand, let my fingers trail his chest. I thought of the woman,
and shivered. My kidneys ached. Slowly I drew up my knees. He seemed to be
considering me. My skin cooled as his eyes ran along it. He clicked twice,
stretched back for his belt, still wedged at the slabłs head beneath rumpled
plush. My fists clenched, I studied him, searching a clue to his temper in his
alien ways.

He spread the belt on the velvet. Whistling softly, he slid
a metal cover, exposing a narrow visual display, quiescent. I twisted toward
it, so close my nose caught the machine breathłs tang. Numbers flashed replies
to his deft finger-questionings. Grunting his satisfaction, he stopped it, covered
the twelve-digit face.

“MÅ‚tras," I whispered, daring a light touch upon his hirsute
forearm, “please. I am long removed from wellwork. Such demands as yours tax me
to my limit." Those black-ringed eyes met mine, calculating. A tiny tic flashed
over his left lid.

“If it means something to you," he said, flat voiced, “I
could arrange it. But wełll trade favor for favor. Deal?" Once more, it was Młksakkan
he spoke.

“Your will ..." I acquiesced, releasing the breath I had
held. Even the touch had been chancy, upon a man who fancied no aggression from
a female. I waited for him to make his move. Stochastic improviser, he had
named himself, and aural symbolist. What those words meant, I could only
conjecture. He rolled onto his stomach. One of his hands remained upon his
belt. His eyes did not leave me. I could get no sense of what lurked behind
them. What was he? Surely more than he seemed, to have acquired me. He had gotten
help, he had told Maref. I let my gaze catch his, across the belt.

“Why did you kill Liuma?" I asked him softly.

“The other woman? She was a witness. She shouldnÅ‚t have been
there."

“It did no good. Many might have witnessed what occurred,
from the lakeside."

“IÅ‚m supposed to ask you the questions," he growled, propping
himself up on an elbow. “How do you think he figured it out so fast?"

“Khys? Most probably, someone saw you. He might have had it
from my mind. Often he has monitored me. Or he might have looked in upon the moment,
having easily accessible perameters like the breaking of the window and Liumała
death. Or he might simply have gotten his information from the sort. I doubt
that there was more than one path leading here. Or"

“Stop! ThatÅ‚s all garbage," he snapped, scowling. He jabbed
his belt alight. “LetÅ‚s say nobody saw us. I was assured that no one would. IÅ‚m
going to give myself that much credit. It didnłt have to be us. Anyone with
that much power has enemies." Pulling at his lip, he fell silent. Cautiously I
gathered my legs under me. My thighs trembled with tetanus. Who, I wondered,
had assured him? Who could give such assurance?

“That leaves," he said dourly, “him eavesdropping upon the
whole escapade by means of your mind. IÅ‚m not willing to believe that. Or you
think he might have reconstructed what happened. I can believe that, more easily,
but not the way you put it. That lastthat he would have known it was us
because it was usI canłt find any way to state that in terms I can work with."
He squinted at me, though the light had not brightened. Reaching out, he traced
the band of restraint at my neck. “If the first is true, what assurance have I
that he isnłt ęmonitoringł us now?"

“None," I said. “He might be."

He grinned. I met his humor solemn-eyed. A shiver ran perceptibly
over his flesh. “IÅ‚m going to start over. Do you know anything about Silistran
politics?"

“You asked me that before," I reminded him. His flat palm
stopped in mid-strike, the wind of it buffeting my cheek. “No." I cowered,
startled. “Not much, anyway."

“ThatÅ‚s better," he said. “Now tell me how a bunch of
anachronistic savages managed to destroy two brand-new, unmentionably expensive
M-class Aggressives. I know you were involved." His scowl, brought ominously
close, was terrifying.

“At the battle of Amarsa, you mean? It was only a peripheral
effect. The energy I was using to fight Raet as Uritheria threw a whole section
of Silistra out of sequential time" And he did slap me resoundingly. I put my
hand to my stinging cheek.

“Try again," he spat, thrusting his face close once more.
The veins at his temple pulsed his outrage. “What caused the destruction of
those ships?"

“Please, I have told you the truth," I whimpered. “Would you
make me lie?"

A long time he questioned me, over and over again the same
words. And I answered him as best I could, trying to keep my answers consistent.
But he wanted other knowledge than the truths I had for him. Unaccepting of my
replies, he sought for those he had preconceived. My throat was dry and sore
and my mind spinning when he finally desisted, truimphant at having extracted
from me an admission that the old weapons of prehistoric Silistran wars still existed.

“Somewhere"I had stumbled over my tongue my eagerness to
please him"they are, in the hides. But they are old, so old, and long
untended. It is not our custom to cherish such things. Thousands of years they
have lain there. I would doubt that any are still functional." Huddled opposite
him, I fell silent. I could retreat no farther, my back already pressed against
the wall that spawned the slab. I thought of Chayinłs threat to exhume those
weapons, when the MÅ‚ksakkans tried to treat with the Parset Lands.

“That," he said, crouched menacingly above me, “makes more
sense." His bearing blared his triumph, that he had found truth that suited his
preconception. “ThatÅ‚s the whole key to it, isnÅ‚t it! Old weapons, from a more
sophisticated culture." He grinned widely. “IÅ‚d be willing to bet that some of
them are still functional," he mimicked nastily. “Functional enough to blow a
hole in the B.F. budget, thatłs sure."

I lowered my gaze to the brown velvet of the slab. My
fingers made light strips running against the nap. Let him, by his own will, be
misinformed. When Khys blasted his MÅ‚ksakkan moon from time and space, MÅ‚tras
would learn,

“Whatever the source," I offered, hesitant, “would it not
serve you to avoid a confrontation with weapons against which you have no defense?
Return me to the dharen. I have some little influence." I lied then, but he
could not know it. “I will see to it that there are no reprisals."

“No chance," he grunted. “As close as I can, IÅ‚m going to
stick to my first conception. Iłm going to hold you. Hełll deal. If he could
have just snatched you, he would have done so by now. If he were sure, he wouldłve
arrested Dellin." he added, crossing his legs under him. He watched me
attentively, waiting. I only stared.

“What are you thinking?" he demanded.

“That you had better ask these questions of your friend the
belt. Its answers suit you better than mine. But you are a fool to so
shortchange the dharen. He will, when it suits him, do exactly as he wishes
with all of us." I wondered why I bothered, rubbing my bruised cheek. Shifting
off one aching thigh, I was reminded of the coarseness with which he had set
about demoralizing me. “I was"I raised my eyes to him, chin high“once, very
powerful. Suspend for a moment your disbelief. Grant me my blood right. It was
I, not Khys, whose power destroyed your ships, offhandly, while about a much
greater undertaking. With gods did I contend. My father is greatest among the
Shapers, those who created this apparent time and space in which we live. And I
fell to Khys. Totally and completely did he denude me of my strengths, until I
could be taken by even the likes of you. That fact alone should warn you." I
broke off, for he no longer listened. His belt, upon his lap, spoke in its
strange language. He sat very still, attentive. After a time he straightened
up, pulled spread fingers through his black hair. His discontent lay upon him
like a sneer.

“Get dressed," he snapped, rising to take his own orders.

Obediently I wrapped my silk short-length about me. It
seemed skimpy, insufficient covering for this place. It was quickly done, and I
stood, uncertain, awaiting him as he layer by layer donned his fitted gear.
When all that could be seen of his flesh was above the neck and below the
wrist, I ventured to ask it.

“Is it a point of economics that concerns you? Is it
recompense for what you lost at our hands that brought you to this foolhardy action?"

“Partly," he grunted, fastening his belt over his hips.

“Then you and I could resolve between us all differences,
peacefully," I blurted, excited with the simplicity of the idea.

“How?" He disbelieved, fists resting on his black-clothed
hips. A surreptitious finger set his belt whirling. It hummed softly, content
to be in service to its master.

“I will leave with you my chald. One could buy a yra of such
ships with its worth." I grinned at him, expecting approbation.

He came and ran his hands over it, nestled against the white
and silver silk at my waist. “I didnÅ‚t think it was real," he muttered. Then he
clicked, raising his eyes to mine. “A man could, with that much gol, buy an
A-systems computer, even." His fingers twisted in the strands, relaxed. But his
body was stiff, his breath moving shallowly in his chest. I knew he considered
it. “I canÅ‚t do that," he said, pushing me away. “Lives were spent. Even that
much wealth canłt replace them."

“And spending more lives will? A moon full of lives,
perhaps? If I were you, I would warn those who dwell upon that sphere that they
may flee the dharenłs wrath." I turned my back to him, tense, waiting for a
blow that did not fall.

“IÅ‚ve done that," he said, still subdued, as I made my way
to the slab upon limbs that shook despite my best efforts. There I crawled to
the corner, faced him from its comforting security. He only watched me, a
bemused expression upon him. I knew that he would click his tongue a second
before I heard the sharp tone.

“What do you want, then, from Khys?" I asked, the distance
between us emboldening me.

“I want," he said in a flat, cold voice, “the man who killed
Mossenen. I want recomprense in serum for every man lost along with those
ships; I want their weight in drugs. The only replacement fitting for their
lives is the gift of life." I hardly heard the last. Serethłs life, he would demand.
Khys would never cede it. And if it came to a trade, I would give mine gladly
rather than see such an occurrence.

“Khys will never agree," I hissed, and the vehemence of my
tone drove his dark brows down over his eyes. With measured steps he approached
me.

“He will. Or youÅ‚ll bear the whole weight of our
displeasure. Mossenen was the most-loved adjuster ever to rule Młksakka. We canłt
have your killers picking us off at their leisure. Itłs principle. We let him
get away with this, we might as well hand him the Bipedal Federate Group."

“If you" Chiming interrupted me. I bit my lip, swallowing
what I would have said. It occurred to me, as he slapped the partition to life,
that he might not know whom he sought, who had killed the MÅ‚ksakkan official.
And I had almost enlightened him.

Revealed upon the screen was Maref, an infinitesimal muscle
jumping in his miniature jaw. “DellinÅ‚s on his way down there. There was no
stopping him." His tone was apologetic, his palms raised to the screen.

“ThatÅ‚s nice," said MÅ‚tras dryly. “What are you doing up
there, playing with each other? Get three men down here. I want them waiting
outside the door!" He slapped the screen away, growling deep in his throat.

As he crossed to his strange instrument and sank with it in
his lap into the green chair, I could not help but remember a thing Khys had
said, when first we stood before him, Chayin, Sereth, and I, and he derided us.
Of Sereth he had spoken his disquiet, that such a seemingly talentless one had
come to stand before him, and in the company of such “blood" as was possessed
by the cahndor of Nemar and me. Later, Khys had said that when a man comes
forcibly into your circle by means of outstanding accomplishment, one cannot
gainsay his right to be there, however much his very presence might alter some
cherished preconception. Thus, I reasoned, it must be with this alien, MÅ‚tras.
His music rolled and thundered, the anger in it prodding my adrenals. Cold it
was, a summoning from the abyss. Bass clef only, of that score that holds the
worlds aligned, did MÅ‚tras call forth from his stringed machine. His head was
down. His lips upon occasion moved, mouthing the sounds his fingers made. His
work-set face glittered like Khysłs seal upon by breast.

He palmed his strings to jarring quiet as the door panel
blinked. The partition upheld the palm-lock, chiming. I found myself pressed
back into the corner, thinking of what the three of us had done to Dellin that
time we sought Celendra. I pulled the velvet up around me, dragging it loose
from the slab foot.

MÅ‚tras was looking at me. The door chimed again. He turned
away and touched his waist. The door slid aside. Dellin, leaning there in
northern leathers and cloak, short-sworded, chalded, straightened up slowly.
His eyes were bleak. He had still, I noted as he crossed the keep, ignoring MÅ‚tras,
the limp I had seen upon him in Khysłs audience chamber. He had, I thought,
cringing back, velvet cover crushed in my fists, lost the weight he had carried
excessive in Å‚695. MÅ‚tras merely turned his chair upon its pedestal, that he
might observe. He ran a thumb over his lower lip. Then I could not see him;
Dellinłs bulk obscured all else.

“Estri!" His knees were upon the slab, those hand reaching
out toward me. “Are you hurt? By the gods of my mother, I assure you, I had no
hand in this," He grabbed me up in his arms, held me. Shocked, I was limp
against his sweet-smelling circlet armor. He lifted me from the slab, placing
my feet upon the floor.

At armłs length he held me. In Silistran he had spoken. I answered
him the same.

“Presti, mÅ‚it tennit, Liaison," I replied. “I am well
enough." His fingers dug my shoulders. “Among these artifacts of your culture,
Khaf-Re, think you the both of us seem out of place?" His fingers loosened, dropped
away to his chald. I had marked it augmented. Besides the Slayerłs chain, he
bore that of threxman and one gold strand, that of birthing fulfilled. I caught
his troubled glance, made a sign that I knew he knew. MÅ‚tras watched, perplexed,
as Dellin pulled me against him.

“Estri, there is no use in it," he whispered, gainsaying the
SlayerÅ‚s sign I had given. “Do not ask me to go against my own people. I have
seen the dharen. You need no more help. Let me salvage what I may," he
continued, in thick dialectic Arletian. “I had thought you deprived of self. I
saw you once, and you knew me not. I had sniffed such seemings upon the breeze,
but the Weathers called it Khysłs hand." I pushed back, grinning, to meet his
grim smile. Let MÅ‚tras decipher that with his tape-learned Silistran.

“Aforetime," I agreed solemnly, “such was the case. Yet I recall
the moment, and even that I knew you not. We ride the crux wind again, you and
I."

“And you with the dharenÅ‚s seal upon your skin," slurred Dellin.

“ThatÅ‚s enough," snapped MÅ‚tras. “Dellin, sit here. Now! You"he
pointed at me“over here on the floor where I can watch you." The MÅ‚ksakkan mechanicÅ‚s
eyes roved Dellin as the larger man obeyed him. “Only one out of fifty go
native," he said, sardonic. I knelt before him, realizing, only after the fact,
that I sat as Khys had trained me.

Dellin, in his trail gear, shifted uncomfortably. “I had to
get to Port Astrin," he said in MÅ‚ksakkan. “I had to get through the streets,
into the port."

“You could have stayed," said MÅ‚tras, voice edged like honed
stra.

Dellin cursed in MÅ‚ksakkan. MÅ‚tras leaned back in his
sky-green chair. “ItÅ‚s me heÅ‚d abuse, not you," MÅ‚tras said, eyes narrowed, “She
seemed to think," he remarked to Dellin, “youÅ‚d show me a little Silistran
woman-beating if I let you in here. IÅ‚m disappointed." Together they looked
little alike. Only their coloring was similar.

“If anything happens to her, none of us are safe!" said
Dellin loudly, leaning forward upon the burnished table. His short sword
clanked.

“That Khys really put a scare into you, didnÅ‚t he?" said MÅ‚tras,
stretching out his legs. One hand played, below Dellinłs line of sight, upon
his wakened belt.

“Look at me, MÅ‚tras," said Dellin. MÅ‚tras did so, as if
bestowing great favor.

“I am telling you, itÅ‚s all real! They do affect probability.
According to their skills, they do control the future. IÅ‚m not crazy. You are.
Send her back to him. He is inestimably dangerous. Look at her, if you donłt
believe me!"

MÅ‚tras looked at me raised an eyebrow. Then he shrugged and
turned back to Dellin. “I see her. IÅ‚ve got her. He doesnÅ‚t. Now, if youÅ‚d
stayed down there, you might have been able to help. You wanted, you said, out.
Well, youłre out. When the ride is over, youłre going to have to face your
uncle. Youłre confined to three deck until that time."

“You canÅ‚t ..." Dellin scowled, straight brows drawn.

“I could confine your uncle on this ship, I have a personal
override. I just wanted to see some Silistran discipline. IÅ‚m not going to see
it, and Iłm not interested in anything youłve got to say. File a report, if you
must. You have an A-systems input in your cabin. Make it to my attention. Maybe
IÅ‚ll read it. Now, get out!"

Dellin, his face as pale as the hand strangling his hilt,
rose wordless and limped to the door. His slap upon the palm lock was loud in
the silence. MÅ‚tras sat with lowered head until the door slid again across the
entrance. Then he touched his belt, and the palm-lock turned from red to amber.
We would not, while it glowed that color, be disturbed. I moved to rise off the
metal floor. MÅ‚tras, with a sharp signal, stilled me. I sank back upon my
heels, my face raised to him, as he removed his belt, stretched it upon his
lap.

Thinking he had forgotten me, I again made to rise. “No!" he
snapped. I shrugged, sitting back. The burnished metal was warm. It seemed to vibrate.

Something in his face as he played with his machine gave
warning. I wondered what his world might be like, what place would spawn such a
man.

“On my world," he said, as if he had read me, “we donÅ‚t put
that much store by females. I still donłt see whatłs so special about you, except
that fancy brand."

“I had gathered that much," I said to him, making a hollow
for my silked rump between my heels. I could feel the rough callus snag the
silk.

“YouÅ‚ll gather more," he promised, eyes heavy-lidded. “But
its time for me to gather what I can. Dellin believes everything he said." He
tapped the readout of his belt, as if the machine upheld him. “IÅ‚m going to try
to be open-minded about this. Do something uncanny. Show me youłre more than
King Whatłs-his-namełs favorite slave."

“I cannot. You know it. I wear KhysÅ‚s band of restraint."

“How do I know itÅ‚s not just another fancy collar?"

“Try and remove it," I suggested.

He shrugged. “ItÅ‚s bad manners to take a collar off a woman
if you arenłt going to keep her." His gaze, openly hostile, stripped me. I
found I clutched my arms about my waist. “HeÅ‚s trained you well," he remarked,
supercilious, warning. I straightened up, my plams on my thigh. “What did
Dellin say to you?" So abruptly did he snap his question, I flinched, my throat
gone dry.

I told him, all but the meaning of the sign, lest I embroil
Dellin in my troubles. As was his custom, he asked the same things of me
repeatedly, comparing the results. I considered what he had said of women, and
etiquette as regards to collars, and the fact that he still held me kneeling before
him.

“Please," I petitioned him, “let me rise." My knees ached,
my calves were run through with hot needles.

He snorted softly through his nose. “You stay there. IÅ‚m not
that raw that I donłt know the difference between free women and whatever they
call it on your planet." His belt let out a audible beep. He attended it, his
mood lightening perceptibly. “And confirmed," he grunted, grinning. “We now
have"he smiled unkindly“a tentative fix on every underground depository on
Silistra. Look at me!"

Uncomprehending, I raised my head. My back ached intolerably.
“Why tell me?"

MÅ‚tras leaned forward, buckling the belt again around him. “Because,"
he said, upon a cadence, “if your master is monitoring you, I want him to know.
If we donłt get some response from him fast, wełre going to blast a few holes
in your planetłs precious crust. And some of those underground installations seem
to be right below heavily populated areas." His threat was potent. I though of
Well Arlet, beneath which lay hide bast. And the Well Astria, which lay less
than seventy neras from hide diet. Intently did MÅ‚trasÅ‚ pale eyes study me. “You
seem a little taken aback. Perchance you donłt believe all you aver. Doubtful,
are you, that the dharen will get my message?"

“I cannot know it." I reverted, in my perplexity, to
Silistran. His hand darted out to encircle my throat. By that grip he pulled me
to him, until I knelt between his spread legs, my shoulders pinned by his
thighs.

“But you believe it," he accused. He reached under the
table. When his hand returned, it cupped the red-eyed death cube. The whole
time Dellin had been present, MÅ‚tras had not moved from the table. I had
thought him brave, indolent. He had been, actually, cautious. “I have your
readout. Something is affecting the electrolytic balance of your body fluids.
Possibly that band, which even A system canÅ‚t analyze. “ His knees pressed my
shoulders. In his hand, lightly juggled, was the death cube.

“I do not take your meaning," I said.

“Anything"he sighed“that affects such electrolytic
balances affects the stimulus response times of sensory receptors. Within you
is a complex set of electrochemical rectifiction and negative resistance
devices, the carriers of which are ionssodium and potassium. The band seems to
be interfering with the permeability of certain membranes, membranes that are
the junctions of these devices, those that separate fluid-bearing tissues. Your
sensory receptors, unable to function normally, cannot sufficiently stress
these membraneschange their permeability. Thus the positive ion flow from one
fluid to another, which should result in a specifically ranging change of charge
in fluid, has been drastically and specifically impaired."

“I am lost. What means this?"

“IÅ‚m not sure yet. Receptor cells in sensory neurals and
their associated membranesdifferential membranes, through which ions flow more
readily in one direction than anotherare remarkably similar for all senses,
and should, when functioning normally, produce similarity in the characteristic
stimulus times. The intensity of stimulus is a function of the number of pulses
in the pulse train carried along nerve fibers to the brain. The imput pulse to
the circuit is the result of some change in a sensor. In the case of, say, hearing,
itłs a change in stress upon the hairs along the basilar membrane in the
cochlea. If this selective masking of imput were affecting your hearing youłd
be tone deaf, as well as intensity-impaired. But the effect, obtusely
selective, is not impairing your hearing. What it is affecting, I donłt know,
unless itłs the transduction of energy .. .. Wait a minute." He barked a laugh,
and consulted his belt.

When he looked up, his eyes were very bright.

“Do you know anything about the kinetics of a photoreaction
cycle?"

“No."

“Well, A systems says the band is acting as an uncoupler,
selectively deprotonating. An uncoupler allows electron transport to proceed,
but in effect disconnects it from phosphorylation. In a sense, youłre photosynthesizing,
or were before they put the band on you. More specifically, that melaninlike
pigment that causes your skin to glow is photoreactive under the aegis of a
chromoprotein that absorbs at much longer wavelengths than those of the visual
spectrum. Itłs not phototaxic, but powers a metabolic function that we call
proton-plumping. Your skin can convert light energy into an electrochemical
gradientor could if that uncoupler werenłt around your neck. Wełve long known
that an organism lacking chlorophyll can capture and convert light energy and
use it to drive metabolic processes; the Coryf-dennen do it exclusively, using
a chromoprotein closely related to visual pigment in animals."

I nodded; I had met one Coryf-denne. They do not eat,
neither do they sleep, and their rough skin glows so bright that one cannot
look upon them without discomfort.

“We have also long been aware that light can power the
uptake of energy by envelopes of sodium and potassium ions and of amino acids
independent of the high-energy bonds of adenosine triphosphate, by some thought
to be the primary energy carrier of living cells."

I shook my head, but it did not help. The dizziness that oft
assails me when faced with making sense out of such concepts danced all around
me.

“So," he said, triumphant, “you are being physiologically
constrained by this all-sense blanketing. But from what?"

“My hearing is fine," I said.

“ThatÅ‚s the point. Where is this energy you arenÅ‚t receiving
supposed to go? What I know is that the band is impairing the conversion into
free energy of an electrochemical protein gradient of the chemical free energy
of light or of some oxidizable substrate; that the band disconnects you, so to
speak, from photoreaction and energy-bond conversion, deprotonates this
light-driven proton pump in a sort of attenuation of the energy-transducing
mechanism itself. And itłs not directed at any one system Iłm set up to scan.
It impinges upon all senses, in a consonance that is most distressing, without
any effect on your five senses. They are functioning exquisitely, acutely, despite
the field effect, or whatever it is, of the band." He stopped, clicking, exasperated
by what he did not see upon my face.

“I think I understand," I said. And I did. “It is as I have
told you. Those skills with which you will not credit me are those you have
found impaired. Sensing is no separate organ, but an all-pervasive network, the
primal receptors." I spoke it softly that he might not strike me for speaking
of what he would not hear.

He shifted. His left knee ceased its pressure upon me. One
eyebrow descended to meet the frost of his gaze. I would have scrambled from
him. I dared not.

“What," he demanded cautiously, “exactly, could you do,
without such constraint?"

“Move my flesh from this place to anywhere I chose. Hear and
see within my mind. Marshal what forces I chose from the energies about me.
Often are such bands used upon wayward forereaders and dhareners; they keep the
wearer reduced to five senses, incapable of escape in time or space. The worst
of it is the silence." I heard the thickness in my voice. Fearful, from between
his thighs I peered up at him. He had asked, but he had struck me before at
such answers.

“But you could exit this ship, in the same manner as Khys
entered Dellinłs complex, if you didnłt wear it?"

“Long since, I would have done so," I affirmed.

MÅ‚tras, nodding, made entry into his belt once again. So
close, I could see the whirling layers of prenumbers at their deciding. I
watched it think, blink, glow with its chosen wisdom. He leaned down, neck
craned, and considered it. Shaking his head, he laughed low. As he sat back,
his body was fight-tense.

Mine, shoulders entrapped by his thighs, went tight also.
For in the telling, I had seen a thingthat Khys could not just drag my flesh
to him, as he might have, through the plane worlds, had I not borne the obdurante,
warm band at my throat. My fingers twitched, found their way between his
clamping thighs to run its vibrating curve. Alone I was, in space, hurtling
upon sails of gold. Where?

“Estri," he said, slurring his tone a half-step, his hand
under my chin. I liked not those storm-morn eyes, cold as Opirian nights. I
tried to turn my head. His thumb pressed down upon my chin, three fingers up
into the soft tenderness behind and beneath. “You just might be right." His
hand toyed again with the incinerating cube.

I shivered before him. “How long," I asked faintly, “have we
been off Silistra?"

“Six hours, fifteen minutes," he said, of his own knowledge.


An hour is about twenty-one twenty-seconds of an enth, the
Silistran twenty-eight-enth day being only forty minutes shy the B.F. Standard
day of thirty hours. It was near moonłs meal upon Silistra. The moon would be
up, over the Lake of Horns. I wondered what had come to pass this day, Brinar
second sixth. Of Chayin I thought, tasting his pain, and Sereth, with whom he
had lain whilst this strange creature abducted me. And Khys? Had they come and
told him, in his meeting while he was yet filling the vacancy of the southeast
corner? Whom had he chosen for these lands, to oversee Dritira, Stra, and
Galesh?

“Why?" he asked me, shaking my shoulder.

I only regarded him. Could he not see what loss I mourned, what
loss my world was to me? His fingers fell to the dharenłs mark, swirled upon
it.

“Why did you ask the time?" he demanded in a voice that
scraped bone. How, I wondered, would he have treated me, were he not planning
to return me to Khys? His hand slid about my throat, longing. I saw him
restrain himself, whatever violence crossed his mind. He shook my head about savagely.

“I am only hungry," I choked.

“I have no intention of feeding you until weÅ‚ve finished our
little talk. How and why was the band put upon you in the first place?" I
marked him disquieted. He believed the artifactual evidence upon me. His machine
had spoken for my truth. MÅ‚tras clicked, shifted. I took comfort in his unease.

“Did not he from whom you obtained aid explain that to you?"
I dared.

“DonÅ‚t push me." His fingertips played a syncopated pattern
upon my throat.

“It is rather complex, what you ask." I sighed. “As to how
it is doneit is simply done. When Khys had me brought before him, I was much
wounded. He merely put me in flesh lock and slipped it about my neck. He made
me hold up my hair while he did it."

“WhatÅ‚s flesh lock?" he rejoined, eyes narrowed.

“You would surely be angered if I tried to explain it. The
band is fastened about the neck of the victim by he to whom it is keyed. It
must be removed by that same hand. Not even the high chalder, who has charge of
the bands until they are keyed, can remove them." My eyes begged his, that I
might be silent.

“Where do they come from?"

“Normally they are produced by the dharenÅ‚s council. One
puts a band of restraint upon a highly skilled person only, one who may not be
bound otherwise. They are little used. I had never heard of them upon Silistra
until I was taken to the Lake of Horns."

“You have not told me why you wear it," he prodded,
implacable. I shifted upon icy limbs between his legs. I did not want to speak
to him of my diminishment, my shame. I did not want to think of what I had
beenso highly skilled, so arrogant, so foolish. His hand twisted in my hair.
By it he pulled me closer.

“I abrogated, in hauteur, my chaldra. I became couch-mate of
a chaldless outlaw. We caused a great deal of bloodshed, hearkening to the law
within. Khys did not deal harshly with us. He left us our lives. He wanted a
child from me. I would not give it. He stripped me of my memories, that I might
not object. When it was done, I did not object, but asked for his seed."
Blinking back tears, I regarded him. His face was emotionless. His grip upon my
hair relaxed. I sank back, resting on my heels.

“How did he get you to put the band on you, if you were, as
you put it, so highly skilled?" I thought him further disquieted. His brows
had both descended. I had been reminded, relating what had occurred, of the damage
done to me. Could I ever, I wailed silently, be again what I had been before
Amarsa, Å‚695, what I had been with Sereth, upon Mount Opir? Even might I regain
such skills as I had been pleased to employ when I found myself in the Parset Desert? I doubted it. I dropped my eyes to Młtrasł belt. Doubtless I, too, would
need such a machine to think for me, to direct me as to what owkahen had in
store, and how to meet it. He cuffed my head to one side, against his thigh. I
let it lie there, slumping against him.

“How did he acquire me? He hested it. He brought his will
into the time. He waited, and when the moment matched his sensing, he sent men
to fetch us. I had fallen unconscious. I awoke in the hands of his minions."
Without my power, and without most of my sensing, I recalled. “We were brought
before him. He tried and sentenced us as suited him. He, as I just told you,
put the band upon me. The rest also I have told you." From my slanted viewpoint,
his face seemed gray, alien, forbidding. I raised my head, held it straight.
His hand freed my hair, touched his eyes, rubbed there.

“Sit as you wish," he said, releasing me totally. I did not
try to rise. I would not have been able. By my arms I pushed myself backward
and slid my legs out and around. I could not feel them. In a few moments, I
knew, I would long for this state. They were clumsy, as if another owned them.

“What are you thinking?" he demanded, rising. He stretched,
his hands at the small of his black-clothed back. His boot heels thudded on the
metal as he went and stood before the real-seeming Western Forest, truly upon
far MÅ‚ksakka. We were not going. I knew, to MÅ‚ksakka. “If you want to eat, you
had better be responsive," he warned, turning to face me, arms crossed above
his wakened belt.

“That we are not going to MÅ‚ksakka. I wondered where we were
bound. Then how long that might take. Then I took thought of you, and your
machine-symbiote. Does it speak to the shipłs computer?" I rubbed my calves,
slapped them. The pain was begining.

“This ship has an A-systems unit, yes. I couldnÅ‚t wait for
relay. MÅ‚ksakkan devices are nowhere as sophisticated. The brain that runs this
ship is MÅ‚ksakkan. The A-systems unit we carry is as advanced in comparison as
I am to my cave-dwelling ancestors." Looking at him, I wondered if he knew how
close he was to those of whom he spoke. The burn-tingle had reached my ankles.
Water-rush presaged it in my calves. My knees were still frozen. I recollected
what Khysłs Estri, without comprehension, had read of the dharenłs new
writings. He had brought forth a volume containing odd references and analogies
to computers, accompanied by charts. In it he had put forward the belief that
hesting is a survival characteristic in all races, that to some degree, oft
under the control of the deeper conscious, all men hest. How these hests are
experienced, Khys postulated, is greatly affected by conditioning and conception.
Furthermore, he affirmed, and I do believe him, that in a mechanistic culture
where survival is removed from the individualłs control, the hesting skills may
turn and prey upon the experiential reality of the conscious mindmay become a
tool of the powerful and divided selves, the inimical, fragmented, constrained
remnants of the law within so doggedly supressed by such as MÅ‚ksakkans. He had
called it Hesting: The Primal Perogative, and in it he had adjured the
reader to study will and responsibility, and take thought as to the get of onełs
actions. The gift of owkahen did Khys offer in such language as might appeal to
a man like MÅ‚tras. I lowered my head, fastening my gaze upon my quivering
thigh. Perhaps Khys would spend me, if the gain were high enough.

MÅ‚tras came to me with a tray: yellow, birthed of the
automated partition. Such food as was upon it was not unfamiliar to me. I had
been a year in couchbond to the Liaison First when that one was named MÅ‚lennin.
Often had I myself punched up similar meals in the Liaisonłs automated keep.
Jaundiced plate and cup and bowl held jeri, a fruited intoxicant drink; a
synthetic meat-textured loaf, steaming; some round green vegetable the name of
which escapes me; and a sweet dessert, siw-es-ar, which I abhorred. Next to me
on the steel plating he set it, and took his own to the table. I looked at it,
resting on that metal the color of Khysłs hair. The enormity of my difficulties
rushed in upon me. Tears filled my eyes. I turned my body. The cost in pain was
high, but worth it. I did not want MÅ‚tras to see my distress. With blurred
vision I reached the tray close. I ate off it, bites often salted with the
crying that would not stop. I thought of proton pumps and sodium ions and bit
my lips, that my mouth not speak out upon his overvaluing of these minusculities,
and his failure to see through them and comprehend the whole. And the weight of
those thoughts dragged me deeper into tears, like some clandestine undertow. My
shoulders, despite my best efforts, betrayed me to him with their shaking.

I did not hear his approach, but only felt his hand rubbing
my back. He bade me cease, but softly. It took a time for me to regain control.
Dragging my hair from under his hand, I pulled it veil-like about my face. Sniffling.
I took the absorbent fax he proffered and wiped my cheeks dry.

“What brought that on?" he asked, still crouched by my side.

“You," I said miserably. “You and your machine. What need
have you for it? Does it think for you? Surely no machine is more than the mind
that conceived it. Are such beasts of metal and plastic the ruling species upon
your planet, as they are on MÅ‚ksakka? It is said that the ruling species upon a
planet proliferates a suitable environment to its needs. Upon MÅ‚ksakka, the Western Forest is vestigal, the last trace of a time when another race ruled there, one
that breathed air and depended upon nature for its survival. No longer, I have
heard, can Młksakkans breathe their own air without aid from that planetłs
ruling species: the machine. Is it so upon your world? Are you, also, in bondage
to the artifact, crell to your creations? If so, I beg you, do not take me
there. Of all things, I fear such constraint the most. I will surely die,
without the sun and the grass and the wind and the company of those creatures
that thrive upon nature." My hand, when I had finished, went to my mouth, as
if, after the fact, it could prevent those wordsł escape.

Młtrasł storm was no longer contained by his eyes. His whole
face scudded dark, ominous. The rage that issued forth from his mouth snapped
and roared like shifting earth, each indecipherable curse shaking me as gusts
pummel yearling trees immured on a hill crest thunderstuck. But that thunder,
still riding his alien tongue, brought no lightning trailing behind, but rather
took up a plagel cadence; became righteous, spirit-speaking. MÅ‚tras, sure in
his truths, found need to express them in Standard, most exact and somber of tongues.
And I, knowing that there is no one truth, did not then mark (nor do I now recollect)
the moment at which his speech became intelligible by virtue of words; for
through my band of restraint and across the gulf of context his meaning had
already leaped, that we two take up that ongoing battle between form and
substance, between man artifactual and woman ineffable, between innovation and
replication.

Thus do I recall them, those words spoken in moments
transformed, by some alchemy agreeable to us both, from the interrogation by
captor of captive into that interchange (which never began and shows no sign of
ending) between the proponents of physical and metaphysical:

“My little primitivist, how is it that you set youself up to
adjudge a culture of which you know nothing, a context about which you may be
sure of only one thing: that it is other than your own? It is said of your
people that they seek the law within. Where is it written, upon those books,
that one idea is good and another evil, that an idea in seed, when nurtured by
these five fingers and given spatial reality that it be numbered among the
items of creation, becomes tainted, while another, swathed in numinosity and
wraithlike for lack of palpable existence, does not?"

“The ideas of our mechanists sent the remnants of a world
scurrying into burrows, there to wait interminably for the fruits of their
methodical poisoning of air and sea to disperse," I pointed out.

“And so you say to a man: this is too dangerous, this you
must not do. But you allow the sword, and pharmacology, and all that suits you,
though the dangers of each are as great as that of a hand communicator or a
death cube. Is a man less dead when killed by a blade of stra?" His visage,
jutting forward aggressively, drew from my mouth the admission that a man;
killed, was as dead by aegis of knife or limb as by incineration; but I felt compelled
to add that one man so armed could not destroy a city, nor a forest, nor a
mountain.

MÅ‚tras took a moment before he replied: “Then ban fire, for
with it city and forest might fall by way of a single well-placed torch, and
even a mountain be scoured bare of all life she hosts. It is held by you an
ineluctable truth that technology destroys, and yet it is ideology, morality,
and all the cogitations which you hold so dear and elevated that bent the metal
of inventorłs alchemy to the desecration of nature you so loudly decry. It is
not truth of which it is said: ęHerein lies destruction,ł but manłs use of it.
The world which spawned me, like all others, took the trial of fire: that of
subjugation, by means mechanistic, of greed overwhelming and lust blind to tomorrow.
It is said by us that the true test of spirit lies therein, that only when man
waxes godlike, when he consigns into his brothersł hands the means for
elevation or destruction of his own civilization, does he learn the validity of
the conglomerate of survival decisions called morality that his world has
constructed." His dark hands, whose fingers might within their own sum of days
smite my beloved Astria from afar, twisted together, whitened, then released.
Staring at those digits, it came to me that he was in a sense right, that it is
not the product of their labor that destroys, but the intent of the mind that
directs them.

“Khys," I offered, taken aback with sudden enlightenment, “must
have considered these things, else why did he allow commerce with the star
worlds to commence, and bring to us once again the temptations of such power?"

MÅ‚tras smiled. “Temptations, are they? I think, instead, a
road to growth upon which man either becomes wise or perishes by his own folly.
Unlike MÅ‚ksakka, we chose not to befoul the nest of our descendants that the
progenitorsł coffers overflow with wealth. Nor did we, as upon Silistra, raze
to the ground those who believed differently than we, deeming even the
obliteration of plant and beast meet price, that an idea offensive to our minds
be no longer promulgated by men who, more by their samenesses than their
differences, loomed iniquitous in our judgesł sight. Upon my world it is said
that we have three billion religions, and of philosophies an equal number, that
of the total sum of men living thereupon. And to those of us most insightful it
remains an eternal source of wonder that two may speak together from out of
each onełs singular reality, and that from out of these cross-indexed
similitudes of meaning, understanding is birthed and communion upon ideas
achieved. Against all odds of logic and reason, man speaks with his brother,
and that brother hears." Those hands that might at their whim reduce every hide
upon Silistra to poisoned ash stroked his jaw, awaiting my rejoinder.

But I was struck cold and cautious, asudden aware of the
dangerous ground upon which I trod. How wholeheartedly might anyone, in my
place, have debated with his jailer? I shook my head, my eyes lowered. I would
not chance speaking to him of relevance, nor of the low esteem in which I held
logic and what preferences one man will label “reason," and another “irrationality."

And so, he chose to continue: “My home is magnificent. You
will not see it. You have no more place there than one of your mutated carnivores
in the void, nor would you survive even as long. But know you: there is no
sphere I have seen among the MÅ‚ksakkan worlds as green, no range of climate as
exulting to flesh and spirit, no world anywhere among the civilized stars that
boasts the fecundity of Yhrillia. Is is said of her that He practiced upon the
firmament, and perfected upon her bosom. But notwithstanding, none of yours
will ever discern that truth; we open not our doors to this universal rabble of
which you are a part. With you and these MÅ‚ksakkans in my company, even I would
not be allowed to land." And this last was finally spoken in MÅ‚ksakkan: the
converse was ended, that temporary immunity he had bestowed upon me perceptibly
revoked. And as he pulled about him yet another alien tongue, he seemed to cast
away his righteousness, or to secrete it again in that pocket we all construct
to keep our selves sacrosanct, lest they be tarnished by the diverse oils come
from a multitude of fingering strangers.

But I had seen; even banded, I did not fail to mark him.

“Then why," I injected into that demanding silence, “approach
Yhrillia at all?"

“I want to let the A consult with a cohort," he informed me
brusquely. “I want also to make sure that I live through this. The ship can negotiate
for MÅ‚ksakka from wherever I choose. I can make this journey and be back orbiting
Silistra in quicker time than you might suppose, with the ship on an A-systems
slave basis."

“I did not know machines took slaves," I said, moving my
left leg, which now only ached. Experimentally I stretched it out in front of
me, straight, pointing my toes. “Could you not just call this other machine?"

“I canÅ‚t use their communications systems for A to A. ItÅ‚s
too complex to explain. And it would be too dangerous to prematurely update
their system so that I could use it."

I nodded. Once we had sent a message to MÅ‚ksakka, Sereth,
Chayin and I, or rather we had caused such a message to be sent. The delay time
from planet to planet was three Silistran days, dependably. It had been important
to us at that time. We had needed the lengthy delay. Silistra is far from the
nearest congruence, so far that it was a B.F. light-day and a half that signal
traveled, upon a lasered beam, before entering the congruence. Exiting
immediately at the MÅ‚ksakkan equivalent, it had then traveled a light-day and a
quarter to MÅ‚ksakka.

“So weÅ‚re just going," added MÅ‚tras. “WeÅ‚ll have our orbit
before morning."

“How can you have morning in a place like this?" I stretched
out my other leg slowly.

“We observe MÅ‚ksakkan days and nights." He shrugged. “IÅ‚ve
gotten used to it." His smile was grim, like dawn burst upon the northern sea. “YouÅ‚re
making it hard for me to be pleasant to you," he observed, bouncing in his
squat to loosen his own calves. His belt, quiet, seemed only ornamented black
leather.

“Such was not my intention," I said. He was stretching a
point, I reflected, to call his treatment of me pleasant. I looked at my hardly
touched food, took the jeri, for something to hold in my hands. I thought, any
moment, he would sit. He sat himself down, cross-legged. Upon my tray still lay
most of my meal. I remembered my resolve to gain back some weight. I shrugged.
MÅ‚tras, misunderstanding, grinned, a curling back of lips. I decided I cared
not if I was too thin, sipping the jeri, which was, blessedly, not synthetic,
but clear and tangy. And it would, I knew, relax me, and blur the ache in my
body from enths of kneeling.

“What do you think of Dellin?" he asked.

I sighed to myself behind the cup. It was beginning again,
if on a lower key.

“What would you like to know?"

“IÅ‚m curious." He raised his arms away from his body,
showing his sleeping symbiote, curled around him like some somnolent slitsa. “Why
did you think he would hurt you?"

“Sometimes," I said quietly, “with Dellin, one forgets he is
not Silistran. I did, I suppose, nothing for which he would hold me to account."
I ran my tongue along the cupłs yellow rim, catching an escaped amber drop. I
could see him only above the shoulders, over the rim. He waited. I could not
imagine that MÅ‚tras did not know what the Ebvrasea, the cahndor of Nemar, and I
had done to Dellin, in his own keep, before we went to take Celendra out of
Astria. “It has been years since he and I had converse," I added. “When last I
saw him, he bore no birthing strand, nor the strand of threxman at his waist."

“Birthing strand?" prompted MÅ‚tras.

“He has gotten, I would venture, a Silistran woman with
child. The gold strand is not easily acquired. Dellin has built a good start
for a chald."

MÅ‚tras rose fluidly from his cross-legged seat. As he
approached the slab before the partition, he touched his belt. By the time he
stood there, the screen glared bluely, out from hiding.

“I thought you had nothing to say to me." It was DellinÅ‚s
voice, truculent.

“Did you get some local woman pregant?" MÅ‚tras demanded,
lounging sprawled across the velveted slab.

“No." DellinÅ‚s surprise was evident. I imagined him:
touching his chald somewhere upon three deck. I stayed where I was beside my
tray. “It was a political move I made." Condescending, was Dellin. “I took up
the chald of another, with respect to one child only. It is a complicated
chaldric matter, nothing you could understand. The fitness was debated for four
passes by Silistran authorities before any decision was made. Itłs very
delicate, this whole thing. Or was."

I thought his words oddly tinged with pride for one who fled
his chaldric commitments. And with regret. MÅ‚tras, also, marked it strange.

“Whose child is in your care?" he snapped viciously. “Or
was?"

“That of Tyith bast Sereth, out of a coin girl," Dellin said
with gravity. One never names such a woman in giving parentage. It is bad
taste. Sereth, I thought, would not have been pleased if such knowledge had
come to him. No, he would not have been pleased to know that his grandson had
been in the hands of Celendra; and passed by her to Dellin, doubtless as part
of their extended couchbond. The decision, I realized, must have been pending
while Dellin was in our hands. Pending and ratified when Celendra was accounted
dead or crell. Yet might she live, in the Parset Lands. Perhaps Jaheil had
found her pleasing. But I could not know it. I did not know if she even survived
the wounds she had sustained when Jaheil used her as shield before him in the
battle upon the plain of Astria. “It is a son," Dellin added, doubtless for my
ears, “and healthy, favoring his grand-sire."

“CanÅ‚t you speak your own language?" MÅ‚tras growled at the
miniature Dellin I could not see.

“Surely," came the answer. “I hear youÅ‚re going to
counterthreaten Khys. Youłre a fool. Therełs nothing in the hides but old books
and older philosophers. One-quarter of that planetłs population lives within a
hundred B.F. miles of one hide or another. Youłre talking about direct hitting
a quarter of the human life on the planet. They donłt have any buried secret weapons."

“And whatÅ‚s he doing? There are plenty of lives involved in
his threat to the moon Niania."

“This is like a nightmare," said Dellin, and an absence of
light play upon Młtrasł body let me know that Khaf-Re Dellin had broken the
connection.

MÅ‚tras grunted, lying back upon the slab, one hand rubbing
his eyes. “Come here," he advised, fingers at his belt. Regretfully I did so.

“Lie there." He indicated the slab near the wall. I obeyed
him. “Take this, I want to sleep." A small round tablet, white, nestled in his
palm. I looked at him in horror. “It wonÅ‚t hurt you. Take it." His palm was
closer. I took it, lest he force it down my throat. It melted, sweet and soft
upon my tongue, taking the world of the senses with it. The last thing that concerned
me was urgent, and I fought for time to deal with it. But even for the hides,
the drug would give me no time.

From that heavy sleep I gained no insight. Awakening was a
gradual rising through less-dark clouds. There was the press of no-sound upon
the ears, then a rhyming of thuds, which became blood and pulse, red as the
clouds that were then eyelids. Lastly, I felt the vibration beneath me, and
named it. Remembrance of my whereabouts caused my direction sense to tilt crazily.
I was not at the Lake of Horns. I opened my eyes, saw the mechanic MÅ‚tras
awake. He was propped against the wall, brooding, his face abstracted, fully
dressed, with the remains of his first meal about himcrushed clear containers,
yellow tray, yellow eggs of machine-bird.

I knuckled my eyes, stretching. He had, at least, thrown a
cover over me, I thought. “Has your machine spoken to its brother?" I said,
turning over to face him, on my belly. The velvet slid soft and slick along my
skin. And he had undressed me. Considerate, was MÅ‚tras.

“Yes," he said, not raising his head. “It has. We have broken
orbit. We make our way back to Silistra. If he wants to talk, hełll go to his
local liaison, whołll call us."

“Do you not fear to get too close to our ancient weapons?" I
asked, yawning.

His eyes narrowed shrewdly. “ThatÅ‚s a small chance, but a
good excuse. If he can hit something as far away as Niania, where could we
hide? Wełre small. Wełre moving, fast and random. I told you, I donłt believe
most of this, really." His actions, I thought, belied his confidence. I
shrugged.

“Can you not feel the ship yaw, tacking?" I said, as the
slab dived under me like a hulion descending. I envisioned those great
diaphanous sails, golden, astretch far into the star-pored blackness.
Drug-calm, I found no terror in the vision, nor the moan of the solar wind in
my ears. Again the slab dropped, rose. MÅ‚tras, crouched on his hands and knees,
sank down beside me. He rolled onto his side, eyes closed, his fingers awork. A
screel shot my ears to fragments, was gone by the time my sheltering palms
reached them. Lights flickered, died. Only Młtrasł belt gleamed redly. I heard
a moaning, steady, far off. I clutched myself. MÅ‚tras offed his belt, brought
it up to our heads. It lit him from below, redly, and my hand upon his shoulder,
digging there. He cursed unintelligibly. I liked not the sound of it, so soft.

“What?" I moaned, pressing my head against his arm. I ground
my teeth to keep them from clacking together, breathing deep, as if I could
store the air away for future need. The sound was raspy in the dark.

“We hit something," he said quietly, disbelieving. “You donÅ‚t
hit things ... I mean, it just doesnłt happen when you .. . But we didnłt. Wełre
on gravitic. Whatłs left of the sails are in. But one, which is frozen. And itłs
dragging against the edge of whatever we hit that isnłt there. We canłt go any
farther in the direction we were headed." Out of the red-dark hissed his voice.
He seemed some hoary spirit, underlit. “It happened within seconds of the
moment we dropped out and extended them."

“How far are we from Silistra?" I asked.

“Not far," he said, as the lights came on, and we were both
bleached pallid, blinking. My heart acquiesced; it would remain resident in my
chest. I rolled on my back. “We donÅ‚t use the normal congruences. We punch a
tight hole, so to speak. Itłs self-sealing."

“You could take a helsar, then," I remarked, dream-high with
relief.

“What?"

“Breaking through a plane where there is no natural entry.
It is a plane, through which you obviate space, is it not?"

“I suppose," he said, “in the broadest sense."

“What are you going to do?" I asked.

“Sniff along the edges of this thing, if it has any. Best
guess now is that itłs a circle the diameter of which is twice that of Silistrałs
solar system, and centered around same."

“Oh," I said.

He rose upon his knees and called out once more the viewing
screen. It showed only whirling color. The slab beneath me shivered. MÅ‚tras,
arisen, slid back a panel beneath the viewer, consulted his belt. Still, no
face or form came upon the screen. It occurred to me then that none had sought
his advice or consulted him for orders, he who held singular control over this
metal world in which we rode. It would not have been so among the Slayers, nor
the jiasks, nor the dhareners at the Lake of Horns. With a steady stream of discordant
adjurations he demanded performance of the screen. He did not receive it. He
grunted, a mix of pain and surprise, and jerked his hand out of the thingłs innards,
shaking it as if burned. Furiously he slammed shut the panel, dimissed the
screen, and sought his ijiyr.

I thought it strange that he would seek it. He took it to
the table, sat. But he made with it no music, holding it in his lap. I saw that
the palm-lock, which he had turned amber, had returned to its red color. Only
did he hold the ijiyr a time, caressing the strings. Then, carefully, wiping
the strings beforehand, he closed its case around it, placed it upon the table.

It must be, I reasoned, that men do not attend the shipłs
flight, but machines. Men would surely have called to discuss this disaster
with him who led them. Men are not, like machines, inured to crisis.

MÅ‚tras took council with his belt. Beyond him, at the door,
the palm-lock died, its red eye going dead and gray. Wondering where he had
hidden my clothing, I rose, went to stand before the real-seeming Western Forest. His eyes followed me, but he made no objection.

“What will you do without the sails?" I queried him, low. I
wished I had water, recollecting the Stoth position in the debate we had so recently
held (and which I had not put forth), that a skill making use of machines other
than that of flesh is too conditioned by artifice; that it is flesh that must
learn to fly, or fall like a stone from the back of mechanical perversity it
rides.

“IÅ‚m not sure yet. DonÅ‚t worry about it. Things will just
take a little longer. Whatever it was we hit is gone now. We can ride ..." He
stopped, his mouth hanging open. I recalled the death cube, resting beneath the
table.

I need not have considered it. MÅ‚tras, aural symbolist,
stochastic improviser, MÅ‚kaskkan mechanic, could not even close his mouth. His
eyes, terrified, followed me as I crossed the metal floor and knelt before him
who stood there, pressing my lips long to his sandaled instep.

Khys did not raise me, but leaned down, brushing my hair off
my neck. I felt his fingers move there, upon the band I had so long worn. When
he took his hand away, releasing me with a touch, the band went with it. I did
not move, but knelt still, my lips against my couch-matełs foot, within the curtain
of my hair. Joy raced my blood like uris. My neck tingled. Tears flooded me,
wet the dharenłs sandal.

“Crying, little saiisa?" he said to me in that sonorous
voice. “Let me see you."

I straightened my back, brushing my hair over my shoulders.
My mind cowered. So long it had been entrapped, I had truly forgotten the
life-songs. I raised my tearstained face to the dharen. Freed, I still feared
him. Inscrutable, indomitable was Khys. What had he in his heart, in his mind?
Weakly I sought the sort.

He scrutinized me, those flame-licked eyes warming my flesh,
adjudging my condition, the extent to which MÅ‚tras had abused me. “Stand," he allowed,
a half-smile on his face. I stood before him, naked, he in his blue-black
leathers and cloak, his waist weapons-belted. I threw a glance over my
shoulder, at the Młksakkan, still in flesh lock. Khysłs copper-lashed eyes
closed a moment. I felt his presence, considering my emotions, my reactions. He
nodded. I trembled, fearful, though there was nothing within me that would
displease the dharen, only gratitude, relief. And the knowledge that the
leavings of my skills were as nothing before his. He had left me little.

He raised a hand to my cheek, took a tear rolling there,
tasted it. I stood still, my gaze resting easy in his, waiting for him to
speak. In this alien keep, surrounded by the artifacts of our enemies, he had
removed my band of restraint. Doubtless he felt I could better serve him without
it. I hoped I would live to do so.

“I do not doubt it," he said; brushing a stray hair from his
mark upon my breast. “I have long sought this moment. I regret only that it was
birthed in such an unseemly womb."

“Was there another way?" I asked, for it would be long
before I had steady stance in the time.

“Evidently not," he said slowly. I sensed the self-reproach
in him. It edged his voice, tightened his belly, made him still before me. “No
one," he added, “is omniscient."

“Estrazi himself has said that to me," I told him gently. I
wished he would hold me. He did so, taking me abruptly against him, his touch
smoothing the quailing of confusion from my muscles. I did not deem it unfitting
that he had used me in his hesting. I whispered it to him, my lips against his
leathers. His grip upon me tightened. Even in the strength of it, I sensed the
tremors. “I am unhurt," I murmured. I pushed back slightly, that I might raise
my gaze to his. “I killed one of them," I said.

“I know it. I am proud of you." He tucked in his chin, his
eyes heavy-lidded. His lips brushed my forehead, my eyelids, then pressed
savagely upon mine, his teeth bringing blood to my mouth.

“Liuma?" I asked, hesitant, when I could.

“Dead." He spat the word as he released me. “That part, I
had not foreseen. And from it, other unforeseens came to be. I am late here. I
would not have left you so long, helpless before them. I had a different thing
in mind." He shrugged, as if it were nothing, but his rage roared over me like
the Embrodming breaking on the eastern cliffs, and I knew his hest had been
altered by another hand. “I would not see you again at the mercy of such as he."
He said it even-voiced, deathly low, inclining his head, to the flesh-locked MÅ‚tras,
motionless in the gray chair. Within Khys, I sensed his reticence, his
unwillingness to believe what he saw within me, in the face of what was, to
him, his own glaring error. I reached out tentatively to soothe his
self-condemnation. His lashes met momentarily. His shield, impregnable, snapped
tight. I stepped back.

“Can there be any doubts of my feelings?" I wondered aloud,
amazed, hurt. “You have, how often, taken the truth from my mind? Take it now,
Khys."

I saw him, with an effort, compose himself. “I have released
you, have I not, from your restraint? I have done so not to commune with your
mind, which in any case is open to me, nor to see you as equal, which you will
never be, but that your welfare be less a burden upon me. I can use your
strengths in what lies before us. I do not need them, but I can use them."

“You have them. As always have you had that which you desired
from me."

His nostrils flared. He inclined his head, his majesty a
wrap pulled close. “Keep in mind," he advised, “that this freedom I give you is
highly conditional. If you prove unready, I will return you to your former
state." He brushed by me toward Młtras, unmoving at the table. Upon the dharenłs
cloak, emblazoned on its back, glittered the Shaperłs seal. His copper hands
found the ijiyr. MÅ‚tras, unable to do more, closed his eyes. Khys turned the
case, opened it. His countenance was severe as he lifted the instrument from
its bed. And he played upon it, calling forth from the strings such sounds of
wrath and magnificence that my blood halted, ice-bound, in my veins. I heard
the scrabble of Młtrasłs mind, near madness, as Khys replaced the ijiyr in its
case. I had not realized that the instrument meant so much to him. Slowly I
made my way to join the dharen, feet slippery on the metal plating, struggling
with my own emotions. Did he, I wondered, know of the threat to the hides? And
I answered myself that he must. Nor was I wrong to keep silent, lest I belittle
myself with the inadequacy of my conception.

Khys spoke a musical sounding. I guessed it some greeting in
MÅ‚tras tongue. The tone of his skin near-matched the burnished metal. Easy, relaxed,
was Khys in his dark leathers before the MÅ‚ksakkan, as if we hurtled not in
some wounded thingłs stomach through the void. And while I thought it, the
dharen leaned upon the table, both hands clenching its edge. Not understanding,
I went to him, touched his arm, my mind sending support to the best of my weakened
ability. But it was no indisposition upon Khys then, no sudden-revealed infirmity.
Seeking, I saw a shore, cold and forbidding, and a strangely formed rock,
through which the wind keened. And then a sun spewing gold-red tongues blinded
me. Singed and blinking, I retreated, retrieving my hand from Khysłs arm. That
one looked at me. His eyes had carried away the solar flame. It burned in him
for a moment, undamped. Then he pushed himself back from the tablełs edge.

“I am going to free your tongue, Trasyi Quenni-saleslor
Stryl Yri Yrlvahl. You will speak only at my bidding." I saw his lidsł barely
perceptible flicker, as he altered his flesh-lock upon the mechanic. MÅ‚tras
kept silent. His skin was very gray as he sat there, unmoving, his hands in his
lap, his mouth at last his to close.

“I have cause to do what I will with you. Your intentions,
and those of your superiors, distress me. I will not, of course, allow any such
to manifest in the time. I granted you an opportunity to reconsider. You did
not choose to seize it. Did you think that by drugging the girl you could shut
my eyes to your machinations?" He smiled grimly. “There is the sort, and the
hest. And there is the assessing of minds, in the now. All are particulars of
sensing. One does not consider depth perception apart from seeing. You know,
you are thinking, nothing of sorting and hesting. I shall begin to teach you.
Silence," Khys snapped as MÅ‚tras twitched his lips. He could not, I was sure,
even turn his head. I threw my leg upon the table. The metal was cool to my
bare flesh. As best I could, I hardened my heart to MÅ‚tras plight. I had craved
this moment, that of the dharenłs retribution. Upon me, I found it less than
savory, as grating upon my spirit as Khysłs Młksakkan to the ears.

“Let me divine for you the sort," offered the dharen, his
eyes flashing. I quaked, though I was not the subject of his displeasure. “You
have passed out of the draw time, when you might have avoided this which here begins.
In crux, there comes an ending, from it new beginnings. That which will occur
is, by my will, fixed. In a situation where outward influence is denied you,
you will learn a thing: when one finds onełs position untenable by reason of
preconception and context, all that remains is to alter onełs perspective, that
comfort sufficient to secure survival may be maintained. That choice, survival,
is open to you. Choose well." He indicated that MÅ‚tras might speak.

“The time"MÅ‚tras stumbled“is not up. You had promised another
day. I would have returned her."

Khys shook his head. “You do not yet believe me, do you? I
have complete access to your thoughts, for what they are worth. I am aware of
your decision to use the return of Estri as sham behind which to conceal your
true intentionthat of destruction of the hides. I saw you reach it. I waited,
set that time limit, that I might flush from hiding him who conceived this
thing, him whose skills were sufficient to have kept him obscure. But all is
now accomplished. I have what I needed from this farce. Thought you, really, I
would spend life so extravagantly as to destroy a sphere of human habitation?
Or was it perhaps a machinełs conception, that would credit such dementia to a
man?" The dharenłs voice, so calm, so saddened, diminished Młtras as no
harangue would have. “Speak, you who should have known better."

Młtrasł face and hands were agleam with sweat. He seemed to
have trouble finding words. “I am of some little value," he said, his voice
trembling, “both to MÅ‚ksakka and my home world. Return me to them."

“It is not in the sort," said Khys.

V: Draw to Crux

I stood beside the Keening Rock of Fai-Teraer Moyhe. The
wind, cold and wailing, blew inland off the gray Embrodming Sea. It flogged me with salt spray. I had confined my hair in a thick braid, safed the braid
under the cloak Khys had lent me. Beneath it I wore only the rumpled silk. My
feet were bare, upon the sea-slicked sand. At my left was the Keening Rock, ten
times the height of a man; a pierced monolith. Seven holes are there in that
spire, each singular. The northern winds long ago conceived it their instrument.
And over that instrument have they gained mastery, I thought, standing there in
the sullen midday, with the Embrodming pulsing bass to the wailing of the gale.
Loud it was, and eerie, with high-octave tones that demanded and received
sympathetic resonance from my very bones. Behind me, inland, amid the ragged
coastal rocks, began the eastern wilderness of which none are empowered to speak.
And yet, I stood here. Khys had bade me await him by the Keening Rock while he
meted out judgment to those who incurred his wrath.

It had been, of course, Khysłs barrier against which the
Oniar-M had crashed. I squinted into the gray-green boiling sky, as if from
here I could see it, where it encircled Silistrałs solar system; a sphere of
restraint through which no mechanical craft could hope to pass, but by Khysłs expressed
will. He had, when it pleased him, allowed the M-class Aggressive entry into the
space he had taken out of common holding. There would be no more such ships. I
turned and looked at it, canted slightly upon the beach, sunk a third of its
length in the sand. It was a sinuous craft, like a friysoułs wing. A damaged
wing it was, all its golden plumage ripped away but pinfeathers, and they
sticking out from gray pimpled skin at unlikely angles. I had seen such a ship
with her great sails wrapped tight about her like a Parsent forereader, the
gold glinting in the desert sun. At Frullo jer, I had seen such a craft, when I
had been tiaskchan of Nemar. Long ago.

I sighed. There would be no more ships. Khys had told me.
Those now upon Silistra he would give a setłs grace, that they might take live
cargo. He wanted no more off-worlders upon the land. The Oniar-M, before me,
would not be leaving. It could no longer perform its functions. All of its
machines were dead within it. The dharen had, perhaps at the very moment my
mind touched his as he leaned upon Młtrasł table, transported us here. It was
an awesome demonstration of his power, that I had not even felt it occur. I
should have known, when he took the band from my throat, but I had not. He had hested
the ship, contents included, to the eastern wilderness of which none are empowered
to speak.

I was glad to be again upon the land. I sank down in the wet
sand, overcome with emotion. It was for me enough to sit there, a time. His
bidding, that I await him, seemed far away.

It had occurred to me that I might run. Down the beach, amid
the rocks. And I laughed aloud, in the silence. There were none else upon the
beach. I had seen none of the Oniar-MÅ‚s crew. The dharen had told me, while he
had knelt MÅ‚tras before him, that they were all flesh-locked, and what he intended
to do with them. And he had told me that even then was the MÅ‚ksakkan warship
only a brainless hulk, upon the eastern shore of the Embrodming.

He would, he had said, turn them all loose deep in the
interior. They might, he had conceded, survive both the wild beasts and the
cahndor of Nemar, who would doubtless come to hunt them. All but Dellin and MÅ‚tras
did Khys so judge.

They, I thought, blinking wind-whipped sand from my eyes,
might lie within the ship, still flesh-locked. Or they might already be
incarcerated at the Lake of Horns.

There would be no more ships: the lesson their cargo
provided had been either learned or mis-learned by the denizens of Silistra;
the new teachings, helsars, had arrived. The old was now discarded. So Khys had
informed me. The mechanical aid has place and purpose in the perfection of this
human machine with which we are, by our choice, either blessed or cursed. And
that purpose, brought to its apex in the teaching aid called helsar, is to
facilitate the mastery of this threefold mechanism we inhabit while enfleshed;
that machine which in potential may perform every task conceivable to its
taskmaster, the ascending spirit. So the dharen had spoken, though I had not
asked him to justify himself to me. I shivered, rubbed my arms with sandy
palms.

I considered it again: I might run. But I did not know
whether or not the dharen would give chase. Nor did I know if I could elude
him, or even if that was what I desired. It would take a steadier stance than I
presently possessed in the moment to outwit Khys.

I sat upon the rock, where a lichen climbed, staring out to
sea. I reached for Khysłs mind, across what seemed a great distance. There appeared
to me a deep gorge, mist-enshrouded. Unscalable cliff face rose upon every
side, except directly in my field of vision. In that cleft trail I saw
black-suited figures, perhaps a yra. Many of those heads were blond. None that
I could see wore flashing belts.

He had, then, done what he said. I awaited his return, and
when it did not come, I reached another way. I sought Sereth, across the sea.
Either I had not the strength, or his shield was all it had been rumored to be,
and more.

I hested a waterspout. It caused me great effort. The first
step, creating turbulence, was the hardest. I ripped at the inner scars that
encysted my skills. I allowed myself no pain, for I had desperate need to prove
myself, to myself, effective. The worst Khys had done to me was that; he had
altered my self-conception. I habitually conceived weakness and failure,
confusion and helplessness. He had taught me to do so. To function, I must
first break those bonds. Tiny feats, I performed. But I did them. And I was
strengthened, each success a girder of the bridge I built across the abyss.
Khys, I realized, had allowed me this time for the purpose to which I had put
it. So said the sort, and what I could see of owkahen. It was, I cautioned
myself, too late to change occurrences so long abuilding. It had come to me:
what I must do; but it was too soon, although the initial hest had been laid
before Khys and I stood in each otherłs presence. I rubbed my naked throat,
where the band had rested.

In the sand, my fingers traced a threx. Rubbing out two
lines, I amended him with a threxman. My mounted threxman I gave the best of
weapons, even a huija of Parset style. The drawing grew so complex I found
myself needing the sharper lines my fingernails could provide. Four days, and
more, had I lain drugged. It troubled me that I did not even recall ablutions
made during that period. I thought I detected a sluggishness about me, drug residue
in my system. I shrugged, and my thick braid flopped from under the cloak onto
the threxmanłs rump. Cursing, I wiped my sand-wet braid. Then I erased the
drawing with my palm, and turned about, to scan the rocks for him. Awkwardly I rose,
brushed the sand from my knees.

He stood there.

“Khys," I greeted him, my eyes lowered upon my feet.

He chose to allow me that small defiance. “Think you," he queried,
“that you can assay the journey to the lakeside alone?" I recollected the
shriveling cold, the searing pain that had attended my previous efforts at such
travel. And I had been, then, stronger.

“No," I admitted. “I would not even attempt it."

“Then I perhaps might be of help, for you have sufficient
power to do so. It is rather a flaw in your method." I saw his eyes narrow,
turn in the direction of the Oniar-M. I thought I detected the slight air
flicker of the protective envelope he cast around the ship, before he split
asunder each of its molecules one from the other, and shunted those now
nonnative atoms into a universe where the physical laws to which he had
reconditioned them obtained. I shielded my eyes with my forearm from that
shadow-devouring light.

“You would teach me?" I disbelieved, blinking in the green
afterglow.

“I have been teaching you, all along. It is my custom to do
so. If you would scale even the most modest pinnacle of those to which you
aspire, you had best apply yourself to my lessons." And he bent down in the
sand, his long forefinger slashing illumination; the topography of the planes,
did Khys set down for me; and beside them, a schematic for permeation. One does
not push through; one but sets up consonance and demands synchronistic
exchange. I sat back from it at last, my insteps aching, much disheartened.

“I am not mathematical." I despaired of the stringent
parameters Khys set upon the obviation of space. I might never master them.
Notwithstanding, I consoled myself silently, I had in the past performed creditably.
Even with my sloppy and disordered methodology, I had met Raet, when Khys dared
not. I had been first, also, to set foot upon Miłysten. Khys, with all his power,
had not made that journey. Though he was more at home with shaping skills than
I, he had not, to my knowledge, made a world.

“But I took a helsar," he said quietly, “when your
great-grandmother was not even conceived. And what I have done, and come to be,
I have brought into the time by my will alone. No help was there for me, in
those early days, when the future of Silistra lay in my sole keeping. And I
conceived the truth about the fathers while we huddled in the hides. Before
that, we had been only reactive. Raet had toyed with us. We were unknowing. We
had no chance, none at all." It seemed to me, then, that the centuries rolled
away, and I saw through his eyes stop-frames of agony and desperation. They had
sorted, those few, but there was no name for the skill. They had foreread, and
none would harken unto them. And as the time grew close, the brothers and
sisters gathered, like-mindedness being the sibling ship between them. Those
who saw, and those alone, lived through Horoun-Vhass, the fall of man. Even did
he show to me hide aniet, that day the gristasha tribesmen were ushered into
the undertunnels, that their line might survive. “By you," he assured me, “and
by our people, I would this time do better." He extended his hand to me. I took
it, rising, and we obviated space, our fingers laced.

Upon the seal in the seven-cornered room, his hand released
mine. There had been no pain, no dragging of my substance through the void. Nor
had it been any work of mine. I had merely ridden his wake to the audience chamber
at the Lake of Horns.

Khys knew. He shook his head at me, reproving, that I had
not even tried.

I opened my mouth to ask him why he sought me strengthened.

“No questions," he reminded me sternly. He turned, strode to
the window.

I closed my mouth and blew out a breath devoid of words. I
knew not even what day it was, though I guessed it Brinar third fourth. MÅ‚tras
had accused Khys of being a day premature in his actions. My hands found the
braid beneath Khysłs cloak and loosed it. Would he, I wondered, restrain me
again, now that he had no need to move my flesh through space?

“No," he said, his tone soft from where he held back the
draperies, admitting the lakeside. “Not now. Our travel is not yet done." His
voice seemed choked with sadness. “Leave me," he whispered. “Carth is in the
baths. Ask what you will of him. At sunłs set, seek me."

Trepidation attended me as I walked alone for the first time
the halls of the dharenłs tower. It is truly said that if one does not maintain
the habit of triumph, its touch will pass unnoticed. It was nothing to me that
I was unbanded and nominally freer. But it must be everything, for I sought
stance in the time. Chayin, I must find, and Sereth also must I confront and
make reparation for what Khysłs Estri had said and done. And Santh. I took the
taernite stairs two at a time, letting my momentum work for me. Down and around
and down again, my bare feet took me surely over the well-dressed stone. Of
Khys, I was hesitant to even think; what awaited was already fixed; in his
sadness and solicitude he bespoke it. I put thought of him away, and from MÅ‚tras,
Dellin, and politics did I free my mind. I needed more desperately other news.

What had the dharen seen, of what I still most dimly sensed?

Carth was indeed there, among the steam and the hissing
rocks, as were a score of others. It was, I conjectured from that, late day.
Late cloudy day, I amended my thought from the glimpse I had had of the
lakeside. Silent, I threaded my way through the slabs toward his, nearest the
steaming stones.

“Carth!" I shook his shoulder, moist and hot.

With a grunt he rolled to his side. His face was contused.
Upon his right arm was a wound. It was no more than days old. “Do you not think
you should have left that outside?" He grinned and sought my hand. I flushed. I
still wore KhysÅ‚s cloak and the silk short-length. “Presti mÅ‚it, tennit," he
said quietly, sitting up. I took seat beside him.

“What happened to you?" I asked him.

“What happened to you?" he parried, eyeing me quizzically.
There was a small thread in his black curls. I reached up and disentangled it.

“Khys said you would answer my queries." I unlatched the
cloak chain at my bare throat.

“First let me congratulate you." His meaning was clearthe
band.

“It is only a convenience, I fear. Tell me the date, Carth.
And what occurred when Chayin discovered Liuma? And of where Sereth was, inform
me. And what kept Khys so long at the lakeside?" One cannot get answers to
questions unasked from such a man as Carth. “And how came you by those bruises?
I would hear that tale."

Rueful was Carthłs answering grin. It minded me of our first
meeting, as crells in the pits of Nemar. The thoughtłs trail touched him, and
he rubbed his left wrist,, scarred dark from chain sores. The man upon the next
slab groaned and stretched.

“You seem to be yourself in entirety."

“And you somewhat bettered. Please, Carth."

“I am, actually, battered. I have come to sit upon the dharenÅ‚s
council." His tone was disbelieving. He touched his grin, as if to reassure
himself.

“I think," I said with gravity, “that you owe me an
apology." He had been so righteously angrywith Khysłs Estri when she had
postulated that such a thing would have to come to be.

I regarded him, eyes half-closed, awaiting his response.

“In that," he said, much sobered, “and in all else I have
done concerning you, I take no pride. But neither am I shamed." He went to rub
his chin, encountered a bruise. “I will tell you what you need to know," he
said, “but not here."

“Where?" I asked, citing half the slap, my by rote cloak
over my arm.

“Upon the way to where you will want to go when I have
finished my telling," said Carth wryly, easing his feet to the floor. Whatever
had happened to him, I judged it more in the nature of a fall from height than
man violence. There was much discoloration on his skin, a great stiffness in
his movements.

We walked silently through the slabs. No word did we
exchange as Carth sponged himself, nor as he pulled about him the unadorned
robe of a council member. Nor as he led through a complexity of unfamiliar corridors.
Not even when we passed between two arrars stiff and silent upon the threshold
of a bar-gated passage did he utter a word. He guided me through it to some ill-used
stairs behind a massive stra door. He knocked upon the stra, a pattern, and the
door was opened from within. I heard chain hiss upon its ratchet, and thought
it odd.

The stairs were torch-lit, the two guards respectively surly
and taciturn. A growl apiece did they give Carth, who then ushered me down
those moist-slick stairs. No ceiling stars had they wasted in this dank place.
My skin crawled.

“Why did you bring me here?" I whispered as we made a
better-lit landing off which three passages radiated.

“I wanted you to see the place. Have a seat," he advised.
Against one wall were plank benches. I sat with care upon one, mindful of
splinters, my cloak pulled well under me.

“Tell," I urged him.

He did not sit, but leaned an arm upon the wall. Looming
over me, he began it:

“I was asked by Khys to keep him apprised of Sereth and the
cahndor as best I could," he admitted hesitantly. “In doing so, I was upon the
second floor when you were abducted. And thus it came to be that I was directly
behind Sereth and Chayin as they hurried from couch with bare blades only to
investigate. I could not catch them upon the stairs. I gained their side only because
Gherein detained them at the stairłs head."

And I recollected those footsteps I had thought I heard on
the stairs while I faced Młksakkans within Khysłs keep. If they had reached me
unobstructed, I would surely have been saved. Then I knew who of Silistra had
aided MÅ‚ksakka.

“I am sorry, Carth. I lost the thread," I excused my
wandered attention.

“I can see why," he remarked, but picked up where he left
off.

“Gherein enjoined them to hasten outside, where they would
find the body of Liuma. Estri, he assured us, was nowhere about. And when they
would have passed by him he did not allow it, but derided them for their
disbelief. He was, he reminded them, first of Khysłs council. He demanded they prostrate
themselves and show respect. That was not out of character for Gherein, and I
thought little of it. I but soothed him, that he might step aside, allow Sereth
to inspect the keep. It was a thing of iths!" He spread his hands, his eyes
mere slits.

“Sereth," Carth continued, “was admirably restrained. Or so
it seemed, he locked behind that shield. Not one word did he say, but brushed
by Gherein as I engaged him. The cahndor, seeing this, turned and descended the
stairs, running. I think he knew then, if not before.

“Gherein gave me tasa immediately following their departure.
He took his leave in the direction of Khysłs keep. It was iths, only, before
Sereth reappeared. They must have passed in the hall. He was withdrawn, pale.
His eyes sought his path before him. Then only did I think to seek you. And I
did not find." His tone turned bitter. “I gathered my wits enough to follow him
down the stairs." He stopped.

“Carth ..." I touched his arm. “Carth, please."

He confirmed my guess of the date/ in a low tone. Then he
raised one leg up on the bench, rested his elbow upon his thigh. “Sereth did
not hurry," he continued, and I began to see itSerethłs back before him as
they descended the stairs, his touch upon the otherłs arm. And Serethłs face,
most terrible in Carthłs sight, did I see, as he recalled it.

In silence Carth followed him down the vaulted hall with its
archite floors and through the great inlaid doors. He did not deign to answer
the attendantłs demands for enlightenment, but half-ran though them and down
the steps. Carthłs mind sought the dharen, found him already upon his way. Out
into the late day he followed Serethłs half-naked form, around the dharenłs
tower, to where Chayin crouched over the body. But for the fact that the back
of her skull had broken open, she might have been asleep. The cahndor sat
cross-legged beside her, his eyes closed. There was a small but prudent crowd,
still as statues upon the white walk. No sound came from them.

Sereth stopped still a moment. He sheathed his gol-knife.
Then he went and sat upon the right hand of the cahndor. His knee touched the
cahndorłs as he assumed a position identical to Chayinłs. He, too, closed his
eyes, his hands quiet in his lap. At Chayinłs discretion, they would start the
keening. But a time of silence, first, do Parsets give their dead, that the
totality of the grief may be gathered before it is sung upon the wind. One
loves, upon the moment of loss, as one can never love aforetime. The Parsets
call it their greatest gift to the dead. It comes in silence and goes in song,
the assumption of the chaldra of the soil.

Carth also sat, upon Serethłs right, for he had not well
known the Nemarchan.

They still sat thusly when Khys appeared and stood staring
down. Carth rose, thinking to calm the dharen, prevent him from breaking the
silence. Khysłs face dissuaded him.

“Sereth," Khys snapped, “I need you. It is over-long you
have delayed. Implement my will. Bring me Gherein!" His knuckles were white
upon his chald. His voice rang out over the Lake of Horns. An impious ebvrasea
screeched, invisible in the clouds.

Sereth opened his eyes and regarded Khys coldly. “I am, at
the moment," he said quietly, “otherwise engaged. Ask me another day."

“Now!" spat Khys. His eyes under arched brows caused Carth
to step backward.

“When you again have what has been lost," said Sereth, and
lowered his head, returned to the formal grieving aspect.

“By morning, or I will deal with you as I will deal with
Gherein," decreed Khys. And he whirled and strode back the way he had come.

“But Sereth did not seem to hear, nor Chayin either," Carth
recalled. “They but sat there. That night, we heard their keening." And I
feared, once again, listening to him. The hair rose up on my skin in that dank
place. I pulled my mind from his, that I not see what else he had to tell. But
I knew, then, that he had not fallen from any height. And why he had brought me
here, I knew, also.

Carth, seeing my agitation, sank down beside me.

“At sunÅ‚s rising, Khys bid me take ten men of my choosing.
He also bade me try to keep the cahndor from becoming involved. That, I could
not do." He shook his head, his countenance mere shadow play in the dimness. “We
lost six men to them, all highly skilled, before we took them. I assumed you
would see Sereth first. The cahndor is in the towerłs holding keep."

I hardly heard him. I sought Serethłs mind. It should have
been easy, so close. I found nothing.

“What ... ?" It was inaudible. “What has been done to him?"

Carth shrugged, sank farther back against the stone. “We
lost six men. We had to beat them both unconscious. Men do not heal fast while
restrained."

I stared at him. I knew well what feats of healing might be
accomplished at the Lake of Horns. I no longer cared about Gherein or Khys. “Will
they live?" I asked, rising. I felt no inclination to sit by Carth.

“Neither will die from what wounds they sustained. Khys had
set a date for Serethłs ending only."

“Of course. It is one thing to kill an arrar, another the
cahndor of Nemar and co-cahndor of the Taken Lands." My voice shook.

“Do not be so sure," Carth said, low. “Khys has judged them
both, and his judgment was the same. Estri ..."

I recoiled from his touch, my face pressed to the chill
stone. I would not cry. I would see him. And I would give him aid, some way. “Take
me to him," I said, pushing away from the wall, my eyes upon the taernite
floor. I spoke no word to Carth as he led me down the middle passage. He was
wise not to speak. Or to touch me. If he had touched me then, I would have
leaped upon him and torn his eyes out. Fury trilled my nerves. My limbs trembled,
but not with fear. Before a wisper-plank door like all the others, he stopped.
I smoothed back my hair, handing him Khysłs cloak.

Then I noted the difference in this door from its brothers.
It had a number upon it: thirty-four. As Carth took from his robe a key and
unlocked it, a mist came around me. I saw threxmen, mounted, and they were
uncountable. Yes, I thought, Chayin at least would surely be avenged.

Then I stepped into darker dim of the cell; I heard a
rustle, and something furry scaled my bare foot. Then it was gone. So there
were yits beneath the dharenłs tower. I found it somehow fitting that such
would be the case. There was precious little light coming in through the
hand-width slit near the cellłs ceiling. My feet trod the lake rushes scattered
upon the stone floor. He was slumped against the wall atop a pile of them. He
had not enough chain slack to lie down. The manacles upon him would have
restrained a hulion. He was not conscious. I knelt beside him, peering. In his
hair was a mat of blood. Elsewhere upon him, also, was the work of Carth and
his chosen. As I strenghtened him, I wondered at the fitness of my actions. It
might, I thought, have been kinder to leave him free from his body, until the
moment Khys called his mind back to attend his death. But I could not. And he
was in great need. My hands did for him what they could. I spent much strength
in that healing, before his spirit consented to return to his flesh. I saw its
presage in his pulse and his breathing. His eyes roved beneath his lids.

I did not sit back, but knelt over him, my face close to
his. His dark eyes saw me, a time, without recognition. Then he closed them.

“Sereth ..." I choked upon it, dug my fingers into my palms.
“Please, look at me. Forgive me for what has come to be. And for what I did."

And he opened his eyes. His hand, forgetful of his bonds,
sought me. The chain links rattled. His lips quirked. “It is good to look upon
you, little one," he said slowly. “I had concern for you."

“What can I do?" I whispered.

“Nothing. All is done," he said. “We seem to have exchanged
positions."

He was, indeed, banded. “Sereth, submit to Khys. Beg his
mercy."

His grin was a shadow of itself. “It is not in the sort," he
whispered, straightening. I laid my head against his shoulder. He winced. “It
is not," he consoled me, “as bad as you make it. I have been this close, before,
to death." His tone was stern.

I sat back, pretending before him, that I not strip him of
his own pretense.

“Why?" I asked him. “Why did this happen?" My tone betrayed
me. I sniffled, put my finger between my teeth, and bit it.

“My sense of fitness got the better of me," he said. “Estri,
let it be. Seek the sort for consolation. Or Chayin. I can give you none." And
I saw then that he did remember those things I had said to him when I did not
know him.

“Sereth," I pleaded, “I love you." I said it to him, as he
had said it to me, when I recollected him not. We each had chosen strange
moments for those words, so common and easy to speak with any by but one truly
loved.

He laughed a harsh sound dry of humor. His eyes rested for a
moment upon KhysÅ‚s sign, the only glimmer in this semidark. “That is
reassuring," he said. “You had best keep such knowledge from the dharen," he
added, and coughed. My heart constricted, remembering my plan to disenchant him
with me for his lifełs sake. I had thought, in my arrogance, that I might do
so. For his sake. And I would have lived a lie with Khys, to keep him safe. It
never occurred to me that time might divest Sereth of what he felt for me. His
shield was tight. As I rose from him, I wondered what kind of skills he possessed,
that he could hold a shield while in a band of restraint.

“We will, yet," I promised him, “stand unscathed upon the
plain of Astria."

Shifting of chain I heard, and his soft dry laughter. “Perchance.
Owkahen has lately not favored me," he said as I turned away. “I would not
count upon it."

Blinded with tears I would not show to him, I stumbled out
the door into the lesser dim. Carth pushed himself away from the wall, secured
the lock. He reached out to comfort me. I spat upon his hand. It has been said
of me that my eyes, upon occasion, bear knives within them. I wished fervently
that such was the truth, that I might pluck one out and use it upon Carth.

And he, hurt rather than angry, wiped his hand upon his
robe. “Would you see the cahndor?" he offered, holding out my cloak.

“Yes," I hissed, “I will see the cahndor." I latched the
throat chain.

I do not remember gaining the fourth-floor landing, nor
walking that corridor that for so long had been all I was allowed to see of the
Lake of Horns. Khys had not seen fit to incarcerate the cahndor of Nemar in
his yit-infested prison. Once he had spoken to me of his dank dungeon, and I
had thought it allegory, or some obscure humor. Carth, telepath, partook of my
thoughts upon those stairs, unspeaking.

“What is the date Khys set for SerethÅ‚s ending?" I asked as
Carth stopped before the door to the holding keep. A shiver washed me, for the
prison they had chosen for Chayin was the one I had first inhabited. Here I had
languished while they stripped from me my past and my self. And here did the
cahndor of Nemar await his death.

Carth, as he worked the combination lock upon the door, informed
me that it was a setłs time less one day until Serethłs execution. Six days. I
nodded. Much could happen in six days. If I had not by that time freed him, it
would be only because I, in trying, had ceased to inhabit flesh.

Carth held the door open. It closed with a muffled thump.
Long had this place contained me. The cahndor lay upon the low bare couch, his
face turned to the wall. Upon his belly he lay. His hands were braceleted behind.
He was naked, and his rana skin shone with sweat in the light from the late-day
sky. I went to that window, enclosed with a golden light that played ever
across it and across the pale green walls, also. From this place, I knew, there
was no escape. I tried the window. Even now, with no band of restraint at my
throat, I could not force my hand through that pulsing barrier to touch the
pane. I sighed and turned away from that too-familiar view.

“Chayin," I whispered as I knelt by his head, “Chayin," and
I stopped. The cahndor did not need to be wakened. I sat back and waited, my
eyes trapped by the glow of the band of restraint around his massive neck.

He rolled, when it pleased him, to his side. The membranes
were full across his dark eyes. They did not snap or quiver. Greatly agitated
was the cahndor, entrapped.

“Is this a visit," he growled, “or have you fallen from
grace?"

“A visit." My hands sought my throat, met his eyes there. He
bared his teeth, struggled to a sitting position. And he did not refuse my aid,
achieving it. They had not been as hard upon him as upon Sereth, but they had
not been easy. I sat back.

“I have seen Sereth."

I wondered what Chayin found to grin about as his kill smile
once again gleamed briefly. It seemed the brighter for the darkening of the
bruises on the left side of his face.

“Tell me," he demanded, “exactly what Sereth said."

I did so.

“Wear white that day. And even to attend SerethÅ‚s death, put
no other color upon you."

I knew that tone. “Yes, Chayin," I said softly, and sought
his mind for my answers.

“No," he snapped. I obeyed, though he could not have stopped
me. “I told you once never to seek me that way," And I reached over and put my
finger across his swollen lips to signify that I understood. He kissed it.

“The dharen remarked to me," I recalled, retrieving my hand,
“just this midday, that you might in the nature do some hunting upon the shores
of which none are empowered to speak. To fulfill his prophecy, you must live
that long."

“I have no doubt," said the cahndor, “that I will live that
long." So did he reassure me, though it was he whose hands were braceleted
behind him, he who languished, banded, in the dharenłs most impregnable prison.

I put my lips to his ear, kissed a spot upon his neck that
had been much between us. “Is there anything I can do?" I whispered. “None can
hear us, except perhaps Khys himself." And at those words, I formed it, a
shield meant for Carth, who doubtless listened beyond the gold-flickered walls.


“No," the cahndor said slowly, his nose in my hair. “It is
ours to do, and ours alone."

“I, too have grievances."

“Be easy," he advised severely. “Seek owkahen and make
yourself ready. Though I cannotłsee, I have seen." His eyes gleamed, and the
membranes snapped sharply back and forth across them. As of old, when none
stood above him, spoke the chosen son of Tar-Kesa. And I knew then that he yet
stalked.

“I might be of some little use," I pressed him. “A timely
visit, surely, would not prove unwelcome." I had, already, a suitable plan. My
hands went to the chain that safed the borrowed cloak at my throat, that I
might implement it.

“That," warned Chayin, his lips nibbling my ear, “most of
all, you must not do."

I had thought to discard my cloak. Upon pretext returning to
claim it, I would have acquired the rest of the lockłs combination from Carthłs
mind. I had half already.

“You must go with Khys, Estri. Accompany him from the Lake of Horns. Trust us. Do as I say." His lips hardly moved. His whisper was dialectic
Parset. And thought I had boasted that my shield could protect us, I wondered.

“As you wish it, Cahndor." I agreed, rising. Khys had
informed me that our travels were not yet done. Chayin directed me now to
accompany the dharen elsewhere. The sort, so clear to them, sat easy with the
hest shown to me on the sands by the Keening Rock.

I stared down at Chayin, the bound dorkat. And I was greatly
saddened. Such a wild thing should never know collar and cage. And yet, he knew
them not, in his conception. I shook my head in answer to his carnivorous grin,
trying to retain my solemnity. But his called its mate onto my face. We had no
need of sensing skills, Chayin and I. We had well known each other when neither
would employ them. We had been, then, naive. But we had found, in those times,
means of communication other than words. I had seen the cahndor, before, upon
the kill.

“I must go, Chayin, before I become certain enough to be a
danger," I said, turning from him. I felt his eyes upon me as I crossed to the
padded, featureless door and pounded upon it.

“Tasa, Estri," growled Chayin. “Keep safe. We are short of
crells in Nemar."

I flushed, my back to him. My hand, of its own volition,
sought Khysłs device upon my breast. The door opened before me. As I stepped
through, I spoke over my shoulder once more. “I will try to get you uris, lest
you sweat to death," I promised, stepping into the hall.

When Carthłs eyes rose from securing the lock, mine met
them, accusing.

“You cannot withold uris from him. You might as well savage
him as you did Sereth, and put him in yit-infested cell thirty-five, if you do
that."

Carth looked away. “Speak to me," I jeered, “arrar, council
member, vessel of justice and truth, explain to me this which you have shown me
today. You and ten others you say, all highly skilled, did this?" I spat, “You
must be deaf to your own teachings, to do such a thing." My fists wrapped in my
chald. I waited. It took a time before Carth found words.

“You asked me also what kept Khys so long at the lakeside,"
he reminded me finally. “I will tell you that, if you will walk with me." His
voice was very grave. “But ask me no questions of fitness. I have as yet come
to no conclusions. I have my doubts, but I am undecided. When I have taken stance
upon this matter, you will be the first to know." He met my gaze, unshrinking.

I let him take my arm, and we walked the hallway toward the
stairs that led down to Khysłs chambers.

“Khys," said Carth in the tone of a man who hopes to make
sense of a thing for himself by attempting to explain it to another, “has long
had problems with Gherein. And even longer has he been aware that someday it
would come to this. But he was loath to do what needed done. He and others have
suffered many indignities because of Gherein. Vedrast, whom Gherein swayed to
his thinking, was not the only one. Such diversity to opinion within a group
that links minds cannot long be sustained." He cast his eyes about the passage,
his mouth a crooked line drawn dark across his face ..

“Khys had come to this decision previous to your abduction.
I believe, at this moment, that he even knew of it. But he waited, that he
might have proof. In such affairs, it is well to obtain incontrovertible evidence."

“He did not need it, seemingly, with Vedrast," I interrupted.

“You do not understand. Gherein is the dharenÅ‚s most
vehement detractor. He leads some few others. He is volatile, unstable,
contumacious, amoral, and exceptionally talented. He is sterile. He is Khysłs
son."

We were passing a benched alcove. I sought it. “And what I
wrote, what Khysłs Estri wrote ..." Nor was that all that had been revealed to
me by Carthłs words.

He smiled grimly. “We are dealing with it now. We have been
coming aware. But until Khys replaced lake-born with a mixed-bred upon his council,
none dared speak of it. Between father and son, that was the final insult. Gherein
was more than ready, with his MÅ‚ksakkan pawns. His stance in the time is never
faulty, only his use of it. When Khys put a child upon you, and that child
matched his expectations, Gherein had to act. He felt his ascendancy in danger.
And well it might be!" With those words he confirmed what I had seen. Over me,
and the spawn of my womb, had Khys and his favored son come to contest.

“Khys loves him?" I ventured.

“Doubtless. He has resisted any number of attacks personal
and public, by Gherein. Rumor has it that thrice he has allowed the son to
engage him in combat. And that thrice he has gifted him again with life."

“But not this time." I murmured. I recollected GhereinÅ‚s
attempt to destroy me, while about my assessment. And those things he had said
to me when I had been Khysłs Estri, all uncomprehending. At the feast had he
spoken to me. And also there came into my mind what Khys had said to Sereth
that evening. I had been there when Khys had made the decision to set Sereth
upon Gherein. Even did I recall Ghereinłs words and manner to his father from a
new perspective. “Sereth once id to me, when I criticized his treatment of his
son Tyith, that although someday the boy might be able to knock the sword from
his grasp upon the second stroke, until then it was necessary for both of them
to know that he could not."

“With lake-born, things are not so simple. Time is the weapon;
will, the sharpness of its edge."

“And yet the weapon is no more than the wielder." I quoted
again the Ebvrasea. “And owkahen the circle into which we all daily step," I
added, of myself.

Carth picked a thread from his robe. “Khys has not yet
apprehended Gherein, though some feel it was the first councilman he sought
while he was elsewhere, these last days. When he viewed Sereth and Chayin, and
spoke to them, he was more wrathful than I have ever seen him. He reiterated
that he would treat them exactly as he would treat Gherein. It was the sentence
he had threatened them with that afternoon they sat by the body of Liuma. Witnesses
had heard it. He could not do otherwise. He will not," he cautioned me.

“Must you monitor me so conscientiously?"

“Yes, I must. I serve him still."

“And I serve him also. I go now to do so." I rose from him
in speedy leave-taking. “If ever you free yourself of his yoke," I called back,
“and take up your life into your own hands, seek me. Until the, keep an enth between
us."

And I ran down the hall, away from him. Keep an enth between
us. It is an old, old saying, derived from an older proverb that states the
value of maintaining an enthłs lead upon the now. If one can but be appraised
one enth into the furture, all worth knowing will come to be possessed
aforetime. And one might then comport oneself with fitness, in accordance to
the exigencies of the sort. The worthy man, fleeing his pursuers, seeketh only
that.

I grinned upon the stairs. It had been the proper insult at
the most efficacious moment. We would see what effect my work had had upon Carthłs
shaken sense of fitness, what further erosion might be wrought upon his surety.
When a man feels the meetness of his actions, none can sway him. When he does
not, he drifts from one masterłs hand to another, seeking outside himself for
what he cannot find within. The need for lightness in the self cannot forever
be denied, I thought, in a man like Carth. It had been all I could do to so
convincingly deride him. But it had been necessary, lest he catch the
complicity within me. I had turned him inward, which always serves. One cannot
focus onełs attention in two places at once.

Upon the stairłs landing I halted, smoothed back my hair.
Closing my eyes, I took a number of measured breaths. Before Khys, I must mobilize
all that remained of my abilities. When I felt confident of my composure, when
I had surveyed as best I could owkahen, I assayed the walk down that passage of
ornithalum and archite squares. Past the hulion tapestry to the double thala
doors I moved at measured pace, awaiting the moment.

The doors were ajar. Within, I heard sounds of converse. I
smiled, a mere baring of teeth. Alone in the corridor, there were none to see
it. Within, the voices grew low, sporadic.

It was not yet time. I separated my hair, brought half over
my left shoulder. One must come down the passage first. Once more, I closed my
eyes and awaited him.

The voices in the keep were silent when the blond arrar that
had bound me and left me leashed to couch in the forereaderłs keep approached.
It was as I had envisioned it. I motioned him closer. Three strides distant he
was when I slipped between the doors into the dharenłs keep.

It was shadowy in the keep. But for them. The entrapped
stars were dead or spent for weapons. They opposed each other, glowing. Fire
whirled in the air between them. Agonized was Ghereinłs countenance as he faced
his father across that whirling conflagration. Khysłs back was to us. Every
muscle upon it stood high and ridged, and great shivers of flame coursed over
his flesh.

Behind me, I heard the blind arrar shut the doors. Then he
was beside me. I nodded, content. We were sufficient, for witnesses.

A cracking roar began, first like a blocked ear, then oceanłs
pound, then louder. They merely considered each other. Their forms were limned
clear and bright by their motionless attacks and parries. Then clearer and
brighter as the keep began to fade away about them. I felt their need, seeking my
substance to fuel their battle. I threw a shield and held it, attentive. The
need passed on seeking easier prey. Doubtless it would come snuffling back, if
they both lasted so long. The arrar muttered. I felt his hand upon my shoulder.
And his fear was very real. My eyes upon Ghereinłs black-haired head, I widened
my care to include the man beside me. Why I did, I did not know, for he was
Ghereinłs.

The dark around grew thicker. My feet found themselves upon
a different, more resilient surface from which vegetation sprouted as the
fighting extended into another plane. I did not look down, lest I come to
reside there. My ears ached deep in my head. The moving air from the whirl buffeted
me with hot thirsty tongues.

Ghereinłs brows were in a line of pain over his black eyes,
from which the fire visibly dimmed. They spoke to each other, somehow, in the
cacophony that deafened me. Their mouths moved. Only that. They were both still
as death.

And then I began to feel it. The presaging was a sly and
vengeful smile upon Ghereinłs face. Doubtless he displayed it at great cost.
Then as it faded, the pain began. Consumed with it, entrapped, unable to break
Khysłs hold, Gherein fought back. He took his agony and with all his
considerable talent broadcast it across the Lake of Horns. I found myself on
the mat, writhing, my own moans on my ears. It took a time to know the
dissolution his. That time I spent reviewing my life. Then I realized the place
in which I lay. Then that there was another rolling upon the mat beside me. And
who he was, the arrar, and my name also I recollected as I struggled to my
knees, gagging upon the sudden unnamable stench.

I saw Gherein, weaving, stagger and fall. His face and form
seemed blistered by the fire that emanated from him. While I watched, he
crawled forward, supporting himself upon hands and knees. On his back, the skin
and in some places muscle had been charred. It flaked away blackly. As he fell
upon his face, I saw bone, gaping white through holes in his flesh. And then
there was no pain. Only a settling. The fire-seeming spiral grew very bright. I
shielded my face with my arm.

Lowering it, I saw only Khys. There was no stain or ash or
sigh upon the rust-toned mat of Gherein. I regarded the bronze-scaled ceiling.
There were no longer twelve stars entrapped there, but thirteen.

Khys stood very still. I did not venture to approach him
until the fire faded from his flesh.

But I squinted at him though that glow like banked embers.
And I judged him unscathed. The blond arrar caught my gaze. He was pale with
shock and horror. I grinned and turned away. The dharenłs body secerned near
normal, save for his lack of movement. In moments only, that stiffness was gone
from his limbs. A strange place to do battle Gherein had chosen, neither here
nor there, half in one world and half in another.

Khys ran a hand over his forehead. Behind him, the window
showed dusk. “Gherein brought the accounting to me. Witnesses have seen it. Get
out of here." He pointed to the arrar. GhereinÅ‚s witness. “Do what needs to be
done. Tell them not to seek me. None are to disturb my seclusion."

The arrar backed to the doors, his eyes upon the mat. He
fumbled behind him for the bronze handle. When he had managed his exit, I
locked the doors.

Khys sat upon the alcove ledge, looking out over the Lake of Horns. The sun had set while they were about their testing. I was glad I had been
prompt.

I crossed the keep and filled two bowls of kifra, brought
them to him. He received the bowl from me, absently. I stepped carefully
through the morass of loose cushions, taking a seat upon the ledge s opposite
end. He seemed a man once more. And in truth he was no god. I had seen gods
fight, and such was not their custom. But it had been Gherein, surely, who had
chosen the weapons and place of battle. Khys would have given him that choice,
as Raet had given it to me. I sipped my kifra, taking rein upon my mind. His
eyes ranged the lakełs far shore. If he had heard my importunate thoughts, he
gave no sign. I felt sorrow for him, that he had killed his own offspring.

“It was long coming. I tried three times to dissuade him.
Upon the next occasion, I could avoid my duty no longer. I did what the time demanded.
If not over you and our son, then over the number of clouds in the sky would we
have come to contest." His voice was quieter than I liked. I did not know what
to say. He had commanded my presence at his sonłs self-sought execution. I
raised my bowl, not sipping. Over its rim I gazed at him. There was in him no
grief, but a kind of weariness. That I caught taste of it bespoke its strength.

Letting the liquid lap against my closed lips, I searched
some reply.

“Carth," said Khys as the knock came, without turning his
head. He had the look of a man steeling for battle rather than meditating
afterward. I went and admitted Carth.

“Dharen," he said, halfway to his master. “You know, surely."
His whole bearing was distressed.

Khys closed his eyes. His lashes lay almost atop his cheeks,
copper in the light from the thirteen entrapped stars. “Tell me, Carth, that it
may go as I have envisioned it." He did not open his eyes. I saw the whiteness
of his knuckles, tight fists clenched in his lap.

“The death of Gherein blanketed the Lake of Horns. It did not immediately identify itself as his. A number are injured. A greater number
are profoundly disturbed, frightened. The council convenes."

“Witnesses have heard it," said Khys with a bare smile. “You
are now first councilman. Appoint your own replacement. I will speak with you
tomorrow, mid-meal. At that time, you may, if you wish, seek corroboration from
the off-worlder Młtras as to Ghereinłs complicity in these affairs."

“There is no need, dharen," Carth demurred.

Khys shrugged, his gaze still off over the lakeside. “Have a
meal sent to us. This night I will give audience to my off-world guests. I want
no interruptions. I will see no one, you included, before mid-meal next." And
then he did turn, his majesty flaring from him like sunÅ‚s spume. “When you know
what you must come to know, attend me. You will soon have a thing to say worthy
of my attention. Until then, I will not hear you. I bid you go and await the message
you must transmit when next we meet. Leave me now," he commanded. “Carth! I bid
you look well about you, for what you have not seen!"

Khys turned back to the Lake of Horns. The audience was
over. I, too, turned from Carth, that I might keep at least an ith between us.

But I could not turn from the specter that hovered like a
flamełs afterglow before my eyes. Gherein had sent his respects to my father,
Estrazi. What I had glimpsed of owkahen told me I might soon deliver them.
Convey to your father my awe, Gherein had bade me, that he could put into the
time such a force. Insightful was Gherein, I realized, as my stance in the time
came clearer.

“That, in truth, he was," said Khys calmly. “Though
enfleshed no more, his influence extends out into owkahen. We will feel his
will, both you and I, some little while longer."

I thought of Chayin, in the holding keep, and Sereth in his
dank cell. I did not conceal my feelings.

“And you, who bring crux wherever you go, how dare you presume
to judge my actions? I had thought to avoid much of what has come to be. And
all of what owkahen yields up next. Yet, it rises. A man can only claim so much
of the time. When one brings in a number of convergent hests, in the heavy
crux, where one mind has ceased, another may have started. There is, in
truimph, a most vulnerable moment. How vulnerable one can come to be, I am ever
learning. Beware, if you can, such prideful laxity. The time seeks the shape I
have long denied it. The blacklash from my own inertia works anotherłs will." A
grimace, pretender of a smile, came and went. “I should read with greater care
my own writings." He studied me a moment, his countenance abstracted. “I wonder
periodically whether you understand half of what I say. The time takes new
shape with alacrity. You yourself have experienced such moments."

“I know it," I rejoined, but I felt no sympathy for his
plight. I knew that he would not have it otherwise. That is the feeling that
sustains upon the edge of the abyss. One walks the ledge, upon the substance of
its simplicity. The life right rules. I nodded. I had been there. “Often in
such times, one is offered a choice. It has been my experience that the option
of stepping out of the circle is repeatedly given, though few seem ever to take
it. Take it, Khys."

He crossed his arms. “Tonight we will sup here. Then you
will accompany me to view the off-worlders."

“You cannot deprive the cahndor so cruelly." I spoke of
uris.

“I have done so," he observed. “It equals the weight upon
the two of them."

“You cannot go through with this," I decried him. “The circumstances"

“The circumstances demand this accounting," he interrupted. “You
are thinking that they could have done no different, given their natures and customs.
And I say to you that I can do naught else, given owkahen and life right. Do
not plead for them to me. I will not hear you. I have spoken of their
disposition before witnesses, and that disposition stands." It was in his most
ringing voice that he intoned those words. Having done so, he rose up from the
sill and took couch.

After a time, I went and joined him. He lay on his stomach,
his head resting upon folded arms, and his reality was heavy upon his spirit.
So might mine have been, I thought, finally discarding the rumpled short-length
I had worn since MÅ‚tras abducted me from the Lake of Horns. Much had happened
in those five days. Tomorrow, I recollected as I rolled to Khysłs side upon the
couch silks, was the day he had given as deadline to MÅ‚ksakkans. But he had not
waited. He had reclaimed me aforehand.

His eyes were closed, his breathing regular. He had not
pulled the silks around him, but lay atop them. It seemed to me he was asleep.
I sought dimness from the entrapped stars, and they obeyed me, all thirteen. I
wondered at the new one, at what it might know of its origin. But that
wondering made me shiver, and I forsook it. I took pleasure in their obedience
to my will. I thought I might seek some enlightenment from Khys in sleep. I found
instead oblivion, and missed the moonsł rise over the Lake of Horns.

Carth woke me. I had not known him possessed of a key. Upon
the gol table was the service he had brought for the dharen. Khys did not stir.
Carth, his hand upon my arm, asked a thing. Appraising Khysłs chest, I doubted
that he still slept. But I rose and accompanied Carth through the double doors
into the hall. I stood there hugging myself, my feet on the cool stone squares.

“What?" I demanded in a whisper. The evening laid long shadows
in the dharenłs hall. The few ceiling stars seemed conspiratorially dim.

“I saw to the cahndorÅ‚s comfort," he said upon breath. “I
wanted you to know."

“What if Khys takes your generosity from my mind?" I suppressed
a smile.

“He did not forbid it," said Carth, his brow furrowed.

“That is true," I allowed. “Now, if you could heal their
wounds and remove their bands, you might have made some creditable start upon
the reparations due them. And their freedomperhaps you might consider giving
that back to them."

“Estri"

“Carth, I find it difficult to look upon you." And I pushed
back through the doors and closed them upon his shadowed form. Leaning against
their locked expanse, I sought calm. I dared not even consider how my work lay
in the time.

“I mentioned to Carth ChayinÅ‚s needs," I said softly to his
prostrate form. “He found it in his heart to see to them." Then I pushed away
from the doors and sought his wardrobe for wrap. By the time I reached it, he
had risen.

I stood there in quandary before my belongings. The white
Galeshir silk I had so favored had been lost to me. Liuma had worn it to her
death. I was still undecided when he came and joined me.

“This is for you," he said, indicating a tas bundle next to
my ors.

I opened it and found a tas breech, band, and tunic. “My
thanks," I breathed.

“I also, as I had promised, found you a circle partner. But
I doubt you will have time to try him," he said, taking up his dark robe.

“What mean you?" I asked, my pleasure swept away by his
portent-heavy demeanor.

“It is my hope that you will be able to answer your own questions
soon."

“May I get another white robe from the fitters? Mine is nowhere
about."

“You may get what you wish from them," he said, eyeing me
curiously.

To divert myself, I tried the breech and band. While I was
about adjusting the lacings, Khys sought his meal. He allowed, from the table,
that since I had no robe, I might belt one of his about me.

I felt strange in the voluminous dark web-work. I could have
pulled it twice around me. I bent the sleeves up thrice before my wrists came
into view. Under it I had retained the breech and band. Tomorrow I would order
a white robe.

When I exited into the keep proper, he was at the couch with
a filled plate. Beside him lay another, bearing the food he had allotted to me.

He grinned when his eyes fell upon me. Khys smiled
occasionally. Most times his face was composed, severe. Seldom did the dharen
grin. “You look far too young to couch," he observed.

I pulled his robe around me and settled at the couchłs foot.
I did not move toward my plate, but waited to refill his. When he was done, I
took it to table and replenished the harth and jellied gul. Also did I bring
him brin, tasting it first for fitness. Such manners were lakeside custom. They
rang loudly false to me, even as I employed them. He signified that I might attend
my own plate. It was good to taste again Silistran bounty after the starfare MÅ‚tras
had fed me. As I ate, I waxed hungry. I had not been, after so long abstaining.
My stomach, although startled, was more than willing to take up once more its
function.

He drained his goblet, handed it to me. “What will you do
with them?" I asked as I again got him drink.

“Who?" he said accepting from me the silver goblet upon
which fog was forming.

“Dellin and MÅ‚tras," I said, taking the moment to
reconsider. “What seek you with them?"

“It is what they will come to seek that is of importance."

“And what is that?"

“A way home." His words rose from the gobletÅ‚s innards.

“Your explanation explains nothing," I objected softly.

He closed his eyes. I found myself upon my heels by the time
he consented to open them. “Little savage," he said to me, “they are going to
reside upon Silistra until they can provide themselves a means of exit other
than in the belly of a machine. Between now and then they will come to be other
than the men they presently are. And that which I am about, the widening of
their conception, is an undertaking that should not confound you. Though the
specifics may be tailored to the individual, the goals diverse, the practice
remains the same."

And I shook my head, not understanding, shamed by my
inability to grasp his meaning. I should not have been. Only such as Khys can
set such far-reaching catalysts loose upon the time. Being one, I could not see
siblings in the making. I was not concerned with the fate of Dellin and MÅ‚tras,
but the speed of events, and the fact that Khys had at least temporarily ceded
control of owkahen, greatly concerned me. They concerned my flesh and caused
the hairs upon it to stand away, one from the other. I pulled Khysłs robe
tighter, but it did not warm my alerted flesh.

He bade me then accompany him to view them. I told myself,
upon the way there, that their fate was no responsibility of mine.

Yet I think now that I must have known, after a fashion, for
in all that followed, I felt no surprise, not even at first sight of them in
keep number twelve. Although upon the same level, holding keep twelve differed
markedly from Serethłs prison. I wondered if all were different. And I wondered
also how many were filled.

The cell of rough-hewn brown taernite had no window, nor
were lake rushes strewn upon the floor. They were not chained; they lay upon
pelts spread over the stone. High above their heads, torches blazed in sconces
reached from a circular gallery. One might have stood there above them, higher
than one man could jump from the shoulders of another. From that gallery they
might be observed, questioned, or slain. We made only cursory use of it upon
our way to them.

The guards, so surly upon my first visit here, unbended
themselves with fervor. One guided us to the gallery access, slid aside the
ponderous plank door. A finger across his lips, Khys motioned me within the
passage thus revealed. At its termination was a square of uncertain light. I
found, when I stood there, that the platform was a manłs length across. It
followed the curving taernite wall. At intervals the torches that lit the
prison floor below were sconced in the waist-high guardwall.

I sought the view, pressing myself against the brown stone.
Below me they lay opposite each other on their pelts. They were reading. I read
a thing into the opposition of their bodies, from my time in the Parset Lands.
And I fancied I saw it, too, in the set of their frames. And in their silence
did I feel the enmity between them.

“I thought," said Khys in a low voice, “that I would put
them in a keep that would not discomfort their preconceptions."

The humor of it welled up in me. I stepped back from the
edge, trying to swallow my amusement. And it may have been hysteria, but it
seemed truly fitting that MÅ‚tras should have for his first sight of Silistra
this most ancient part of the dharenłs tower.

“I am considering sending each a suitable forereader this
night," he whispered, ducking by me into the passage. Such a move would feed
their fantasies, I realized as I followed. And it bespoke once more Khysłs humor.
But I liked it not.

“MÅ‚tras much abused me," I said levelly. The guard slid the
door across the access passage. “I think it unseemly of you to reward him."

Khys raised a brow. “I would not begrudge them women. They
have, at any rate, each other." I had not thought of that. But I was angered,
still, at the lightness of the hand of judgment upon them, in contrast to the
weight of it upon Sereth and Chayin.

I walked with him, mute, not daring to press the matter. I
had nearly forgotten it in the discomfiting realization that I stood but doors
away from Sereth and could not aid him, when Khys spoke of it to me.

“MÅ‚tras mourns his ijiyr. I will give it to you. You may do
with it as you wish. That, I assure you, is sufficient punishment upon his
scales for any harm he might even have considered doing you. I shall inform
him, also, of my decision." It was an official transaction, there in the
undertunnel prisons at the Lake of Horns.

I bowed my head before his gaze, that my smile fall upon my
feet.

“This is the first time," said Khys, “that I have truly
marked the Shaper in you." His grim censure rang back from the stone.

“It is surely," I answered, “the first time I have marked
such mercy in you." I let my mind seek Sereth boldly. I found only his shield.
I had not expected to touch more. I had done it for Khys, that he might know me
without doubt what he had called me.

Khys turned to the lock. “You feel that strongly," I heard
him say as he cajoled the key.

“It is a blood debt. In his service, my life is forfeit. It
is mine to spend, is it not? You have, already, that which you desired from me.
The time calls me elsewhere. You must know it. I heard your name, too, upon the
wind from the abyss. I have given you my word that I will aid you. Up to a
point, I will do so. Where you go, I may be of some little use. You know it. Be
assured that I know it also. Give me his life, and the larger thing might go
another way. If I must be here for him, I cannot be there also." So did I
speak to him of Sereth and destiny, and of our own parts in what was to follow.
But he would not hear me. Nor would I have heard any other, had I been about
the setting and holding of such hests and counter-hests as twisted the whole
fabric of owkahen that evening, Brinar third fourth, 25,697.

“No," said Khys to all of it. Only that. Without looking at
me, he pushed the great door inward and strode to the center of keep twelve.

I followed him, shutting the door behind me. I leaned
against the rough ragony, searching.

MÅ‚tras raised himself to a sitting position. Still did he
wear his form-fitting blacks, incongruous in this ancient holding keep. Around
his waist was no blinking belt. He laid the ors aside, drawing his knees up
against his chest. Those black-ringed eyes fastened upon me. He clicked. He
seemed near thoughtless, waiting, poised like a forereader for the leap into
owkahen. I sensed his physiochemical fear, his bodyłs tetanus from shock and
obviation of space and flesh lock. Worstbad enough that I shrank from him and
turned to Dellinwas his disorientation. His knowns were not simply threatened,
they were shattered. Whole chunks of his conception had crumbled upon the
flawed foundations of false assumptions. Młtrasł reality had been forcibly
altered by his experiences at Khysłs hands. He floundered within himself,
scrabbling for footing. Perhaps for the first time without his machines to aid
him, MÅ‚tras sought stance in the time. He would not, in my appraisal, gain it
quickly.

Khys stood waiting. MÅ‚tras, as I, knew for what the dharen
waited. It was a foolhardy defiance. My eyes met Dellinłs as Khys began the
widening of Młtrasł conception.

“I have little time," said the dharen to the MÅ‚ksakkan
mechanic, who could not yet answer. “Let this be sufficient demonstration of
the balance between us."

He stepped back, removing his hold. MÅ‚tras waited out his
tremors, unmoving.

Dellin of his own accord made obeisance to the dharen. Khys
raised him without comment. I saw within Dellin a strength I had not seen
before. He was frightened, as befitted a sane man in his position. But before
the other, he was upheld, also. And pride did he seem to take in Khys, in what
the dharen had done.

Khys called me to him. I went and stood there, before Dellin
and Młtras. That onełs face was grayer than I recalled, and the web of lines
around his eyes graven deeper. But he sat straight, his head raised to meet the
dharenłs eyes.

“Further MÅ‚ksakkan perfidy has been made known to me," said
Khys sternly. “Before sunÅ‚s rising, the night will host two additional stars,
if briefly."

“You would not!"

“It is past done. The light has only not reached us."

“You spend life casually, despite your protestations," said
MÅ‚tras.

“If you had not sent two unscheduled, undeclared vehicles to
Silistra, you would not have had to count them lost. The barrier is passive
protection. It only removes that which seeks to penetrate it."

“You have isolated Silistra from the rest of civilization,"
MÅ‚tras pointed out.

“Such was my intention," agreed Khys patiently.

“They will not rest until they have us back," MÅ‚tras said
upon staccato clicks. His Silistran was fast becoming serviceable.

Khys, and Dellin also, found that to be amusing. Khys turned
to the Liaison.

“You, then. Will you send a message to your people,
informing them of what we both already know?"

“Allow me to serve you," said Dellin, squaring back his shoulders.

“And to your relations there, will you also send word?" Khys
pressed.

“But tell me what intelligence you desire them to receive."
Dellin, before MÅ‚tras, waxed ever more Silistran.

“Truth, nothing more," spoke the dharen, his eyes narrowed. “That
you would remain here, to discharge chaldra and take an education. That you
will remain here until you have taken the teachings of the helsar you claimed
upon the plain of Astria. What say you?"

“That I am honored," said Dellin cautiously.

“At sunÅ‚s rising, I will deliver you to your keep. We will together
draft such a message. You will send it. I will then return you here."

Dellinłs gray eyes grew shadowed. He weighed his loyalities.
He looked at MÅ‚tras. Then again he raised his eyes to Khys. “I will do your
will," he said.

“I would not try it," said Khys sharply to MÅ‚tras, his hands
of a sudden upon his hips. “You will not be successful."

Seeking within Dellin for the source of his newfound grace,
I had sensed nothing from MÅ‚tras. But I recollected him and his ways as he
clasped his hands to his head and rocked upon his knees before us, moaning. The
remembrance steadied me. I only regarded him, the sweat and tears upon his
face. Sereth, upon an occasion, criticized the vengefulness he saw in the
cahndor and in me, and derided us both for our alleged lack of compassion.

Unmoved, I stared down at him. Aural symbolist, stochastic
improviser though he was, upon the taernite of Khysłs holding keep he begged
and cried for mercy as sincerely as might any lesser man.

When MÅ‚tras was capable of speech, the dharen posed to him
certain questions. From his mouth I heard of Gherein, and what twistings and
turnings of justice and truth he had entertained in his conception. To rule
Silistra, Gherein would have given much. He had given it, in truth, though it
had not been his to give. As Khys had told it to Carth, so MÅ‚tras confirmed the
dharen. Any, seeking to determine the truths involved, might now get them from
MÅ‚tras.

I turned from him. Though it pleased me to see Khys instruct
him, it never pleases to see strength brought low. I sought the torch play on
the stone walls.

“Estri," said Khys to MÅ‚tras, “has your ijiyr. I have given
it to her. And your life, also, I will give into her hands." I whirled upon
Khys, staring.

MÅ‚tras fists were clenched upon his thighs. Seeing them, I
remembered that which he had done to me, which had fitness only between men. I grinned
at him.

He hardly saw me. He spoke a sentence in his musical
meaningless language.

Khys laughed. “He objects most heatedly to being the crell
of a crell. We have grievously demoralized him. Perhaps you might disabuse him
of this particular preconception."

I looked at Khys. I knew what he wanted from me. Shivering,
I bent my will for the first time to the diminishment of a man. But I could not
complete the act. I could not. I spread my hands, helpless.

Khys nodded, as if I had pleased him. I ran my palms over my
face. Both were damp. MÅ‚tras, tensed, looked between us.

“You must, it seems, take my word for our dharenessÅ‚
proficiency. Or perhaps you might consult Dellin, whom I leave here to advise
you. Listen well to him, Yhrillyan, lest in improvisation you lose cognizance
of the root structure of the chord."

VI: An Ordering of Affairs

He showed me, later that evening, the lights in the sky.
They seemed insignificant, viewed with the naked eye. And in truth their significance
was great only to the world that had sent them. Silistra was never in danger.
Other things he showed me, that night.

“What is this sudden ordering of your affairs?" I asked of
him in a whisper when he had finished his extensive preparations.

“Exactly that. In the early day I willÅ‚be absent with
Dellin, at the Liaison Firstłs. Carth will come to you before I return.
Maintain your calm, regardless of the implications of his message. Be assured
that you can render me no greater service than that."

I kissed him upon the shoulder. When one must hold calm
within, against all rational instinct, it is of great service if there be calm
without. It was a measure of his distress that he should plead my aid in what
faced him. I promised him that service, not knowing how difficult its rendering
would come to be.

When I awoke, he was gone from the keep. Knuckling the sleep
from my eyes, I sought the window, that I might judge from the view the time
and weather.

And I saw it then, but I did not mark it with my
sleep-dulled senses. I but turned away and pulled on the breech and band. When
that was done, I went seeking rana and sunłs meal.

I found them, upon the main floor. It was the arrarłs
kitchen into which I wandered. None made objection. The dhareness, I thought,
getting in line with them, might eat wherever she chose. I saw there the blond
arrar who had been Ghereinłs witness. Upon that seeing, I turned away, that I
might avoid him, then back again when I realized the futility of my actions. I
was the only female in that many-benched archite hall.

The men before and behind me were stiffly silent.

The server ladling out salsa-laced gruel screwed up his face
at me, and inquired after the weather as he filled my plate.

“Will you have water in your rana?" he asked.

“It is for your rana I have come to this board, rather than
anotherÅ‚s," I lied to him. “I would chase the sleep from me, not stroll with it
about the lake." The blond arrar had a hand upon my arm.

“Know you what has come to pass?" he asked me.

“Of what, specifically, do you speak?"

“There are no hulions in residence at the Lake of Horns."

“And when did they leave?"

“Upon my masterÅ‚s death," he said, pushing close.

I walked from the line. Others were waiting.

“Sit with me," he urged.

“No." I shook off his hand and sought an untenanted expanse
of wall, squatting at its foot with my food between my legs, Slayer fashion.

“Why do you tell me this?" I asked after a time, when he
hovered there still. I wished he had waited until my head was clear. The rana,
tongue-curling and thick, steamed. I sipped it cautiously.

“It concerns you," he said.

“You give me more than I have, arrar."

“I doubt that." He grinned. He, I decided, must be longer
awake than I.

“Direct me to the fitterÅ‚s," I asked him.

He allowed that he would escort me there. I moaned silently.
I had been a fool to come here. I had had other designs upon the time remaining
before the dharenłs return.

I gulped my rana, handed him the empty cup. “Get me, if you
would, another serving," I asked of him. I waited until he had taken a place in
line. The man ahead addressed him. His thought bristled, shielding. Of me, the
other queried him. His guarded answer revealed nothing. But I felt ever more as
I wakened the crux that crackled the very air about. I knew every nerve in my
body. My pulse spoke loud. There were no longer hulions at the Lake of Horns. At Ghereinłs death they had left. I cautioned myself, lest I assume some
false causal relationship between the two events. And what value might I attach
to that piece of information, when I knew not the hulionsł function, what
service they had previously rendered at the Lake of Horns?

“Perhaps Khys called them elsewhere," I postulated to him
when he returned with two cups.

He laughed. I liked not the sound of it. But I had not, upon
first sight, liked anything about this blond-haired lake-born.

“What name have you?" I asked him, swirling the hot liquid.

“Ase," he replied. I had known another by that name once. It
is not an uncommon name in the northeast.

“I had thought to do more of the dharenÅ‚s work upon our new
prisoners," I informed him. “I seek Carth, to get the keys. Know you where I
might find him?"

“He is in seclusion, not to be disturbed until Khys returns."
He did not hide his satisfaction. I wondered what he found to gloat about in
the hulionsł absence.

“There is little time," I said determinedly. “I am afraid I
will have to disturb him."

He squinted at me from above. I felt his mindłs seeking, and
showed him what served me. “I have the keys," he said, eyeing me speculatively.
“I might take you down there, after you have seen the fitter. I would not want
you to disturb Carth. He is, after all, a councilman." His voice dripped venom
like a swamp slipsałs fangs.

He was as good as his word. And he was also the man Khys had
chosen for my circle partner. A strong statement of power, was that: his
placing my life routinely in the hand of his sonłs favored arrar. We descended
many stairs.

“Get your gear," he urged me as we walked the halls. “I
would try you."

I was more than pleased to agree. There fell between us then
an assessive silence, ceasing only when our mental paths crossed.

“Why are you not grieving for Gherein?" I asked aloud.

“I still implement his will." His voice was hard-edged. “When
I have finished my tasks. I will doubtless take time to consider him and his
completed works." We crossed a nexus hosting six passages. I saw no windows.

“Are we below ground?"

He nodded, guiding me through the passage west of north. It
was short, with no doors upon its length. It led to a door of stra plate. The
door when opened to the arrarłs fist revealed a huge chamber, compartmentalized.
A woman from one answered the arrarłs summons. From her I commissioned a robe
identical to the one I had lost. Also I procured a white tas tunic; a cloak
lined with shorn white brist; three silks long-lengths, all white; a gol-knife;
two straight-blades that I selected with care, and the leathers appropriate to
such weapons. One of the blades I chose was noticeably heavier than the other.
Even did I take it from a different section.

“One should practice with the same blade weight one intends
to use upon the kill," he criticized.

“I have always done it thus." I had never done so. “My
master was Rin diet Iron, of Astria. Who was yours?"

“Lake-born do not study SlayerÅ‚s skills." His voice said
that it was favor he did me, that such work was far beneath him. “The dharen
assured me you would not kill me."

“I would not be too certain," I said, adding an additional
gol-knife to my store. All but the heavier blade I had sent to the dharenłs
keep. That I put in sheath, first nicking my arm with it. The lake-born raised
his eyebrows as I sucked the new blood. Evidently one did not blood a new
weapon before sheathing at the Lake of Horns.

“Take me to your civilized and urbane holding keeps, O
effete one," I suggested, piqued.

He grinned and acquiesced, leading me a way that twisted and
turned and convoluted so that I took fear of being lost forever wandering in
the soundless maze, with only the lake-born and an occasional ceiling star for
companions. After an agonizing time, we came finally to a passage hosting
doors. They were high-numbered. We proceeded down it.

“What keep do you want?" he asked me, fishing out his keys
from his robe.

“Thirty-four," I said, dry-mouthed

“Here, then." He stopped. Bent over the lock, he regarded me.
“How long here had you in mind?"

“An enth, perhaps."

“That is long to wait for you."

“I will make the wait well worth it," I promised him.

“It is to be hoped," he said, shoving the door inward with
his shoulder. Across the green-dark keep he strode, to disappear. I heard
crackling lake rushes, then a sound as of flesh upon flesh. “Wake, arrar," I
heard, and another muffled sound.

I felt the rushes under my feet. Straining for sight, I trod
that dimness.

“Get out of here," I hissed at the looming bulk of the arrar
Ase. He melded into the darkness. Wood grated upon stone; the dimness became
more complete.

My hands found him first. He spoke a low greeting.

His form detached itself from the shadows as I whispered a return.

“Saw you Chayin?" he asked me. His manner kept me back,
though I longed to lay my head upon him.

“Yes. He bade me wear white to your ending. I cannot see
this, I am unbanded. I can deal with the arrar who brought me here. He has
keys." I saw the ice in his gaze, and knew as I spoke that he would refuse. “Carth
will seek me here, before mid-meal. If you held me, he would free you of the
band. Upon my life, he would do it. You must not do this. Gherein tried him,
Gherein is dead. The hulions are gone from the Lake of Horns. Khys admitsłhe
has lost stance in the time. Sereth, let me free you."

“You do not think I could prevail against him?" he questioned
me very low.

And I sought his eyes. I could not meet them. They rested
upon the dharenłs mark, half-revealed by my open tunic.

“I see no need."

“Where could a man run from Khys? Estri, let me be. Keep
your questions from the affairs of men. I will have a testing of him. It suits
me. I would hear the manner of Ghereinłs death."

I told it to him. He slid down upon the rushes, his weight
making them sigh and rustle. The chain upon him hissed. I wished it was over,
decided. He asked me of the method and manner of the confrontation. He asked of
MÅ‚ksakka. Not once did his gaze lighten upon me, not for one instant did I see
in him what I had come here seeking.

When he was finished questioning, he bade me leave. Silent,
I did his will.

The arrar, upon seeing my face and my early exit, did not
press me to then fulfill my commitment.

“Sereth," I had pleaded, “let me serve you."

“One last time? No. When I want you, I will take you," he
had answered. “Now, get from my sight. I have need of rest."

The time, I thought as Ase led me to the guarded exit, is
obstinate in the extreme. I would have been elsewhere than Khysłs keep awaiting
Carth that morning. But that was where Ase delivered me.

He stood about, reluctant to leave.

“I will give you service," I said to him, at the lintel. “But
not in the dharenłs keep, with Carthłs arrival imminent." He stood over me,
very blond and lakeborn.

“We will see to it," he agreed, “at a more convenient time."

“You did not aid me for my use," I accused him.

“No, nor did you seek the Ebvrasea for his. But you are
right. I sought something from the moment, something it failed to provide."

“I, also, got less than I had envisioned from that encounter."

“Doubtless," he said, leaning upon the door frame, “if the moment
had been more fruitful, you would not have been here for Carth." He squinted,
pointing down the hall. I then saw Carth.

“Truth," I said, my voice as wry as his. “Perchance we will
do better in the circle. I, for one, am far beyond my depths in these matters."

As Carth approached, it seemed to me that he bore my destiny
with him, a dark mantle that devoured light all around him. Carth walked in
shadow, though the day came in the windows and the ceiling stars attended their
task. I heard Khysłs voice, inward, asking from me composure, notwithstanding
the message Carth would bear.

“You will excuse me?"

“Surely. I have a book to read," he said with a
self-effacing grin.

“Upon hesting, no doubt." I picked it from his mind.

“Tasa," he said. Unwilling to meet Carth, was the blond
arrar. He pushed himself away from the wall and was gone down a bifurcation in
moments.

I shivered and awaited Carth, now first of Khysłs council.

“Have you taken up with the opposition?" he snarled, pushing
me roughly before him into the keep.

“Khys is not yet returned," I said, shaking free of him.
Calm, I reminded myself, in the face of Carthłs terrifying temper.

“The dharen has asked me," I managed through clenched teeth,
“to try to maintain an atmosphere of normalcy in which he may function with
minimal distraction. You are not helping." I sat upon the edge of the couch.
Carth paced the mat before me as if Chayinłs spirit had suddenly come to inhabit
his flesh.

He snorted. “You would maintain that atmosphere from beneath
the soil? I was apprised of Asełs intent while resting, so strong was it. And
yours also. Do you think he did not know your scheme? He awaited it, that he
might have cause to bring in another of his masterłs hests."

“Are you telling me Ase sought my life in the undertunnels?"

“As surely as you sought his," said Carth, stopping in
mid-pace to glare.

I shrugged. “It did not work for either of us. Sereth awaits
Khysłs return. Chayin also seeks no help. Why? What possesses them?" I
unbuckled the weapons belt, laid it by.

“Their maleness, I imagine."

“Maleness makes a man crave his own execution?"

Carthłs fists found his hips. Derision twisted his features.
“Why does a man reach his limit at one time and not another? I know not. With
Sereth, I might guess it related to you and what you have become."

“Let us not discuss what I have become. I had more than
enough of such instruction this evening past."

“But with Sereth, it is only a guess. In crux, little is
revealed. He places his hests. They are not ineffectual. His skills are not as
ours. You have seen the attenuated effect of the band of restraint upon him.
True Silistran he may be, or a picture of what our childrenłs children will
become. Under these circumstances, with Khys bound by his own word to give him
the chance he gave Gherein, his skills may aid him,"

“You took him. How can he stand against such forces as Khys
can command?" I whispered, seeing him, his wounds still heavy upon him, cold
and defiant in his cell.

“Ten arrars and I went to the taking of those two. Sereth disdains
helsar skills as weapons. And well he may, since none of mine could even slow
him with mind. He demanded and received physical battle from us. His shielding
protects him from all but steel or stra." Through Carthłs memory I saw it: Sereth
and Chayin, cornered upon the third floor. They bore that day no smiles upon
them. Between Serethłs legs was a corpse cleaved down the middle. The spilled
organs made gory mud about their feet. Sereth had extended his shielding to
Chayin, or the cahndor had learned its workings. Through it, periodically, did
Chayin reach out with his mind. One stroke, that of contained turbulence, swept
Carth off his feet and dashed him against the corridor wall. And I saw them
taken in the rush of nine against them. Four more I saw die there, two by the
cahndor in one desperate blade flash. From that stroke Chayin did not recover,
but tumbled senseless atop the last man he had downed. And the five of them
then took their leisure with Sereth. I broke the link. That I would not see.

“I am distressed," said Carth, “by your concern for them.
Have you no feelings for Khys? You have long since ceased being a woman to
Sereth. A symbol, you are, of his failure and diminishment and loss."

“Back to what I have become? Carth, I will not hear it. What
I am, you and Khys have made me. What that is, I do not know. What offends the
cahndor and Sereth, if offense it is, is beyond my understanding. But I have
never understood fitness as it is propounded by men. I care not. I have feelings
for Khys. They are mixed, in many areas. Of one thing I am sure. He has ruled
overlong from the Lake of Horns."

Carth sought the window, his back to me. His voice came very
soft. And it was filled with grief. “ShaperÅ‚s spawn, we may see soon the end of
that rule. And it would be a great loss, if such should come to be. It is a
pity that none could give you perspective. But then"he sighed“we had perspective.
It did us little good. You have served Estraziłs purpose. Khys dreamed you so
weak and fragile that he might dally with you, forewarned, and come to no harm.
He took a dream and made it real. But in those lands he became lost. And I wonder
if he will wake in time." He turned and faced me, his hands clutching the
still. “The child," he said, “is gone."

I looked at him, filled with thoughts of Chayin and Khys and
Sereth and crux, not understanding. Then his words took meaning. I smiled at
his dour and careworn face. I stretched and rose. In my seeing, I had been
upheld. Crux notwithstanding, I had received the match I soughtthat of presage
with time-spawned moment. Our departure from the Lake of Horns, I had seen. And
where we were boundthat also had been shown to me. But though I had preguessed
the reason, I had not fitted it in its temporal position.

Calm, Khys had begged of me. Calm would I give him. He, who
had known even that my unauthorized seeking of Sereth would move Carth to
attend me before his return, would have my most diligent assistance in these
matters.

“Do you have no tears to shed for your son?" demanded Carth
incredulously.

“He was mine to bear, only. Upon this subject, I gave Khys
warning. Fear does not become you. Khys doubtless has his reasons. If you love
him as deeply as your profess, give him the respect he is due. He has not yet
fallen. Let us all save our tears for that event, lest we invite into the time
that which we least desire." And he did not choose to hear my sarcasm, but only
nodded and sank down upon the alcove cushions to await the dharenłs return.

The sun sought the apex of its travel, I sought the sort.
Through great fogs and mires of crux I plowed on. And came, eventually, to a
recollection. All that I had learned about blood debts and fitness I reviewed.
Upon a certain scale, I weighed what had passed between me and the arrar Ase
while the both of us were intentioned on the otherłs death. And the unclaimed
blood he still owed me, from that service I rendered him as we stood witness
for Khys and Gherein, came clear to my mind; and even what that might mean, in
consideration of a lesson Sereth had once provided.

Upon a time, I had held a manłs life. His name was Lalen
gaesh Satemit. He had been a crell, late of the city of Stra. He had come to be
mine, among other possessions, when I had taken up the chald of the tiask Besha.
I had freed him. He had later proved himself more than willing to decapitate me
at Serethłs whim. And I considered Sereth and Chayin, in their cells. And Młtras,
whose life had come into my hands. And I began to understand what service I
might render, and what I might not. But I did not heed those lessons well enough,
thinking them only what they seemed, insight into what had occurred. That
enlightenment, intended as instruction and preparation. I devalued and misconstrued.
Only did I determine that I must beware Ase, and keep a light hand upon MÅ‚tras.
Not that with Sereth and Chayin and what they hested, I must not interfere.

Carthłs eyes, boring holes into my scalp, obtruded into my
concentration. “Your puerility never ceases to amaze me," he said, still
acrimonious after our long silence.

“I suggest that you cease seeking within me, since what you
find puts you in ill humor."

What he muttered then was unclear.

“Tell me of hulions," I suggested. I rose and circled the
keep, all but the alcove where Carth sat. Noticing the things I had ordered,
there upon the gol-slab table, I gathered them up.

Carth made no answer. I shrugged and took the parcels unopened
to Khysłs wardrobe. I would not have opened them before Carth. On my way, I
snatched up the blooded blade, explaining that Khys had found me a circle partner.
While within, I exchanged the hide tunic for the white tas. It covered completely
the breech and band. “White, and no other color upon you," the cahndor had ordained.
Also, did I get the cloak lined with white brist from my pile, and from its peg
the true Shaperłs cloak. Khys, I thought, would favor it for this journey. And
I took up for him second-best leathers. He would not want, I was sure, to go
overdressed. Those things I draped over my arm, then took to couch, arranging
his on its left and mine upon its right.

Carth watched me, his face creating expressions that have
gone ever nameless.

When I had finished, I sat at the couchłs foot, upon my
heels, as Khys preferred. I faced Carth, and that spot between us where the
dharen would come to be.

Carth read thoughts. I gave him, then, some to read.

“Estri ..."

“Carth, if I am as little in your sight as I am in theirs,
then surely I can free the smallness within to work its will." I had
considered, for his benefit, certainties I had about what would momentarily come
to be. I took satisfaction in his ashen face even as it faded from view, replaced
by Khysłs form.

“Have you a message for me?" he demanded of Carth with asperity.

“Yes, dharen." Carth rose, suddenly awkward.

“You know it," he said. Then: “The child is gone, none
knowing whither. It was at the moment of Ghereinłs death, when all were busy
with its experience. It was not soon discovered, and longer was taken in its
reporting. Those who might be considered negligent are in holding"

“There is no negligence," Khys broke in. “None are to be
held to account for this. Carth, after all I have done with you, do you still
prejudge so blindly? Must there always be a ready culprit at hand, accessible?
Who will hold the Weathers to account? What sentence will you impose upon the
wind from the abyss? Can you contain crux in a band of restraint? Carth, I seek
more from you than I can presently find. I pray you, make yourself ready for
the weight you will come to bear. I have no more time to cede you. Get upon it!"

Carth half-ran from the room. I sat dazed, nearly drowned in
the waves of his indignation.

“You found it necessary to test out my truths upon the
Ebvrasea. Did he uphold me?" He sought the couch. At its side he stripped off
his robe, garbing himself in those things I had selected.

“You know that he did," I said softly. “Nothing may be
changed." He had told me: Sereth and Chayin awaited their moments. He knew
them. He knew their sense of fitness. And he had spoken to me of it, when I
could not chase thoughts of them from my mind. And of how they regarded me, he
had spoken. I had been loath to believe him. All had gone as Khys must have
known it would. My ambivalence rose within me, choking and sweet in my throat.
He seemed loose, relaxed, his attention upon his fittings. But I felt him,
searching.

“Does what you see please you?" I asked, my concern for him
receding before his intrusion.

“You have your moments," he grunted. “It remains to be
determined whether you can manage as long a string of them as the time demands.
Do not fight so what rises within you. It may be all you have for sustenance
soon enough."

“What mean you?"

“Only that. Make ready."

I set about it. “Do you want me as more than witness?" I ventured.

“I cannot say yet. If your sire holds you as lightly as you
hold your son, you may be in some small danger. Keep your skills well about
you. It could come to be that I am not available to aid you." He took seat upon
the couch, then lay back. His molten eyes were distant, further than the bronze
ceiling scales. “You should be prepared to make your way back alone."

“Do you crave release from your duties, to speak so?" I managed.
My fingers upon the cloak fittings had gone numb and stupid.

“There is little danger of altering this time by an
ill-spoken word or two. Would that it were so simple. Crux obscures, has
obscured, will obscure, those specific truths with which we are about to become
concerned. Most often, one may reach out beyond the point of blindness. I
cannot make that connection. From that I can suppose a number of things, but I
will not. Leave it at this: I might win what I seek. I will perhaps win other
than what I seek. And I may trade for it what I have sought in the past. Or I
may lose outright. It is crux."

“Have you a meeting place in mind?"

“An encounter point has been determined between us." He
pushed up on his elbows, His chin tucked in. “If I should temporarily lose
track of you, be assured that at my convenience I will again take you up." He
lay back upon the couch once more. “You may go armed."

I declined. I could find no sense in bearing stra into such
a battle. I sought the parcel that had been delivered to me. Even with pelted
cloak and leather and wool upon me, I was cold. I leaned there in the wardrobe,
my shoulder against the smooth northern thala. It was the most familiar of
colds. I wondered if ever I would be without its portentous breath on my neck.

From behind, his arms encircled my waist. The strength of
him, gathering for the moment, came clear. His readiness was staggering. I
twisted in his grasp, pressing against him.

He chuckled, holding me.

If he went so greatly armed and was still unsure, what small
fraction of the necessary skills might I bring to bear?

In that time I came again to meet my ambivalence, and with
no success. He only ran his hands over my back. He may have sought me, or the
sort, or that which was about to commence. I know not. I knew then only that I
could not raise my hand against him. Nor was it necessary. I had already done
all that was needed, merely by being what I had been bred to be.

And Khys, who surely knew, only pulled me closer. If I had
been he, I would have killed me. But therein perhaps lies the difference
between the male and the female conception, that difference that was made once
and for all understood to me in what was to follow. But not then did I know it,
except in the way that all things, if only to themselves, admit their
singularity to be dependent upon the effluence of their sex.

Then I only stood passive with him, aroused but in no way
wanting his use, my thought bounding from him to Sereth to the cahndor and back
like a bondrex in a Dritiran capture pit. The view from one place was no less
forbidding than from any other. It occurred to me that they might all kill each
other and leave me free. I doubted that I would survive, upon the next thought,
if such came to be the case.

“Khys," I whispered, “reassure me. This calm you have demanded
is as elusive as the sevenfold spirit."

“About whom or what?" he said. Because my cheek was pressed against
his leather and my hair had fallen over my face, I could not see him. But his
words gave message of the tiny quirking of his lips.

I stepped back from him as far as his arms allowed.

“That you will live long enough to give Sereth the
satisfaction of destroying you," I snapped, twisting free of him. There was a
time when he would have dropped me screaming to my knees for less. That time
was passed.

“I cannot," said Khys levelly.

I stared at him, blinking angrily. My tears brought that
smile upon him.

I whirled and shouldered by him into the keep proper. Out
the doors and into the hall I stumbled, seeking composure and a momentłs
respite. Before the hulion tapestry I halted and awaited him. It mattered not
to me how the dharen ended. Or even if he did not. So I bespoke my heart. But
my ears heard the falsehood and rejected it.

By the time he collected me, I had regained a semblance of
calm. But only that. He regarded me, his eyes narrowed. He said nothing.

We walked the blue and green squares to the stairs and down
them. I recall every one. Clear and sharp was the single path of crux. His grip
light on my arm down the two flights, we wordlessly traversed the main hall.

In the audience room, upon the symbol that Khys shared with
Estrazi and his Shaper kin and the Miłysten children, he extended his hand. I
took it, his right in my left.

“Remember, mark you the route."

With real calm, that which attends me only upon such
embarking, I promised to heed him. Upon the spiral, I felt only joy that the
waiting was over. We were about it. That which had been long coming to be would
stand revealed. It is never as torturous to do a thing as await it, I thought.

Then I cleared my mind. His fingers between mine became a
grid of light over my closed lids, hot and great. Up the veins in my arm went
the poisoning of power, a voracious drug in search of my present. There was a
thinning of flesh as the network of our sensory systems meshed. I felt us rising
like my nerves as they slid glowing out upon my skin, dissolving it for leverage.
And the bone within glows golden at such times, when sensing flashes red and
seeks its macrokin spread all inconceivable across the fabric of creation. Warp
and woof, we became. Fully distended, I heard us: whining wind we made over
that place where an instantłs stop is overlong. Then came out to greet us the
beacon we had sought. Within that realm are creatures from whose function Khys
modeled the concept “sort." And what do true sorters (all widespread panicles
of self-conscious community undulating multispectrum resonance) sort? Pregnant
time from stillborn, entropy in its thousand variations, natural laws and
travelers thereupon do they thrum and shunt from one alternity to another. Upon
another manifestation: silver droplets heated molten, ever running; mercury
asplatter upon an eyełs pupil. Third to the left, high in their ranks, an eye
the size of the Opirian Sea determined our destination. A hand better suited
for rerouting cataclysm and pruning stars came to enfold us. We lay a time in what
was chasm and palm, creased. I looked up at it. It looked down at me. The touch
of Khysłs being grew tenuous. I fought to retain it. The circuited tide
received us from that dipping hand. Tumbling, he grasped me. Eyes are never
lost. Ours met. The fatherłs fire of his determination licked around me, and we
ceased falling.

We did not bounce or roll. We were underpinned once more by
world. Moist turf, beneath. Stones strewn beneath my buttocks. His hand had
solid substance; fingers fleshed and of the shape and form associated with such
digits. I looked long at them, enfolding mine. The sky was not Miłysten sky.

It was not a land inhabited by such as Khys and myself. I
did not need to search the sky, comb the grass. My sensing gave me sign. A
young world it was. Or a very old one. There was no worm burrowing this earth,
nor bird to eat it. There was the rustling of leaves, the hiss and growl of
wind. But no insect clicked mandibles together. Then I sat up. Far across the
great rolling grassed plain was a ring of trees, perfect and of a dark lush
green. I saw not one weed or flower or fruit. The laws here, I surmised, must
be greatly different. One thinks of life systems interwoven. Here the chain was
either broken or the links not all yet forged.

Khysłs hand was restless in mine. I thought to withdraw. He
did not allow it.

“This world is untenanted but for us." So did he break a virgin
silence.

I nodded, hesitant still to violate the peace. But it was
upon me. “And what we do here sets precedents." I thus completed the first interchange
upon that world. Sequential time as man knows it might now begin, I thought,
looking at that unseen sky, so vast and mighty. It had about it a blue tinge,
chilled still further by a cool sunłs light.

“Do you think interchange is a precursor to evolutionary
life?" I asked him.

“It doubtless was the precursor, upon a more potent scale. I
do not know. You think they would attempt to bind us with such responsibility?"

He actually asked me. The less-seeking light made him young,
uncertain.

“I hope not," I said, unwilling to deal with my suspicions.
Khys looked around him. He got to his feet and scanned the great encircling
stand of trees.

“That," he said, “is north."

“If it is your will," I said, dutifully fixing that which I
had conceived as north as True Declared North. “You have directions," I
postulated. Directions would have necessitated our declaring ourselves; we had
determined to traverse ground and make observational decisions to get there?

“Estrazi," I said, is canny. Must we traverse ground and
make observational decisions to get there?. Can you not mind-seek them?"

“Seek yourself. They are not yet present, nor do I expect
them until we have gained the appointed ground."

“You know where this might lead," I warned.

A breeze came up and blew his hair, dull copper in the alien
light, over his eyes. He raised a hand to brush it away. Here upon this world
his skin had only the most modest glow upon it. Mine, I saw as I examined my outstretched
arm, hosted none at all. I was further disquieted.

“We are natural to this particular conception," I said to
him. He had been rubbing his eyes. He lowered his hand. His face was very
grave.

“Whoever created this was familiar with us. Our arrival here
was understood before the rock beneath us cooled." We agreed. The certainty
within me grew. His eyes sparked. That, at least, was unchanged.

His left eyebrow rose. His nostrils flared. “I had not
considered this," he admitted.

“I myself am only suspicioned. Let us wait, lest we bring it
upon ourselves."

He reached down to me. I took his hand and by it gained my
feet. I was light-headed, sluggish. The pull of the earth lay heavy upon me.
Concerned, he noted it. His hands sought the sides of my throat, and I was much
strengthened.

“You should not have," I objected, when I found myself with
enough wit returned to realize what he had done.

“I brought you here. I should have foreseen this. Let us get
done and away. Third rock, south of east. Can you walk?"

“Yes." The clouds were white with sienna tingeing. The sky
was bluer than MÅ‚ksakkan eyes. I walked with him. It had been the journey that
had weakened me, I told myself, that I might perhaps make it so. If what Khys
thought it ...

I found no further sucking away of my substance, upon the
walk to third rock south of east. The sun seemed to parallel our course. Not
once did it move from above our heads. He squinted at it on several occasions.
Once he glowered up at it a long time.

The quiet of such an untenanted world pressed in upon us. I
looked around me at bounteous beauty and wondered why the catalysts of life had
not finished their labors. I knew, of course, the answer.

“There is no respite from oneÅ‚s own creations," he reminded
me.

“Of myself, I might say the same to you," I rejoined.

“There." He pointed.

“What?" I saw rolling ground only.

“The first rock south of east," he declared it.

“If it is your will," I said softly, trying to smile.

A rivulet of sweat ran down the trough of my backbone.

We walked. The ground was rich and resilient, the grass so
perfect that my feet thought it the most elegant silken tapestry. Khys watched
me as narrowly as the ground we covered.

Nightfall was a thing of iths. There was hardly a sunłs set;
a moment, a brief flame touch, and it weak and cool; then a blackness sliced asunder
by a gleaming sword of stars. Steel in mid-strike with the light sparking off
it was no denser than that swath of stars halving the night.

There was no moon.

“Think you there might be a moon another night?" I asked him
hopefully, after the first shock of dusk had passed.

“No," he said, calm, implacable. “There is no moon. Upon
this night or any other. Would you have fire?" His hand sought the back of my
neck. His fingers tightened there. I found I welcomed it.

“Yes, we have come too far for it to matter."

I heard his laugh as I knelt down in the grass. All was monochrome,
noncommittal. Above me, he was denser shadow, limned in pearly fog. He knelt,
half-turned, to his firing. The Shaperłs seal upon the cloakłs back flickered.

I closed my eyes and sent fervent plea to my father. I did
not know what was right. I asked only rightness. I might better have chosen.

Khys had his fire, hovering above a shallow pit he had
caused to be in the sward. It burned there upon invisible fuel. Hest and sort
were unencumbered. None held limiting conception here. None but us. What we
could conceive, in this place, could come to be without the bending and stretching
of natural law required to do such upon Silistra. Khys, as he hested fire,
further invested the time with stricture. Before he and I there had been only
the possibilities unrestricted. Less than an enth (which also had never been
before we came to walk the earth) we had been here. In us, we carried the world
we knew. And upon a barely completed nature, we set a presupposed lawfulness.
Wider, perhaps, than some othersł might have been, but limiting.

The fire crackled merrily upon its invisible logs, all
consuming, yet unconsummated. He sat cross-legged, palms up in the firelight.

“How far are we from the third rock south of east?" I asked.

“About a manÅ‚s length," he informed me, gesturing to the
left of the fire. I squinted, but saw only fire-deepened dark. I lay back upon
the grass, watched the afterimage flames lick the sword of stars that cut the
night.

“It is a world of great beauty."

“Thank you," I said.

“It is tempting in the extreme."

“Doubtless it was meant to be." Even my building of it had
been part of Estraziłs conception. Thus far, I had been careful. I had not hested,
nor had I shaped; it was my intention that this remain so. I had no desire to
further entwine myself in the destiny of that world. I had promised once that I
would return to it. I had not meant to keep that vow.

I saw two stars detach themselves from the sky, spewing long
tails behind them as they sped downward.

“They approach," I said to him. He only nodded, his countenance
adance with firelight.

Upon my left there was a breeze. It caressed my cheek, and I
turned my head toward it. He sat there, in that most elegant male-form he wears,
dark-cloaked.

Beside him was Kystrai, most beneficent of the fathers: Khysłs
own sire. Fathers sit not in darkness. I had forgotten them. Perhaps mortal
mind cannot hold such images without scaling down. The fathersł fire made jest
of the flame before us.

“Estrazi," I acknowledged him. His presence examined me.
That compassionate mouth tightened. Those eyes touched my flesh, and I was
strengthened.

“Son of my brother, I am not pleased," said Estrazi across
me. Khys sat unmoving. He seemed not awed. “Have you become so indrawn and eclectric
that you feel the need to alter even my conception of flesh as it clothes
spirit?" He raised his hand, only. The fire died.

Khys made a sound. I strained to see him. I saw first a
spiral, scintillant, part-obscured. It was the size of my palm. Around it from
the dark coalesced Khysłs bared chest, his hand upon the altered flesh. I dug
my fingers into the turf. Harsh breathing filled my ears. I could not take my
eyes from the dharen, so still with that wild fear in his eyes. As he had
marked me, so had Estrazi emblazoned his flesh.

“One must be willing to bear judgment as one metes it out,"
said Estrazi. He lowered his hand into his lap. I watched the bronze glow wash
his skin, the currents of life clear in their flow. Truly, I had not remembered
him well enough.

Kystrai, beside him, looked wordlessly upon his own-spawned
one. His concern was obvious. That magnificent head thrust forward, he gazed
steadily upon his light-skinned offspring, as if by glare alone he could cleanse
him free of flaw.

“You may speak," said father to son.

“You have something of mine. How may I regain it?" said Khys
most softly. His palm still lay upon his breast. Through part-spread fingers,
the Shaperłs device glittered. Khysłs eyes closed a moment. I saw him, striker,
struck with his own blow. It showed like a saw-edged claw in the air, whirling
around and spinning back. He threw himself flat, rolling.

And then he sat again cross-legged upon my right as if he
had never moved. His chest heaved, and his pulse fought for exit at the base of
his throat.

“Do not be absurd," said Estrazi, his amusement only touched
with annoyance, “Shall I show you what might be decided here? You come before
me with false assumptions. It is my pleasure to take my inheritor and school
him. I may also extend that courtesy to his father."

“Calm yourself, Khys," advised Kystrai. It was he for whom I
felt compassion, he whose spawn had come so far to stand upon the edge of the
abyss. Their eyes met. “Why did you never seek me?" spoke Kystrai in a voice
like embers fading.

“I might ask the same of you," said Khys bitterly.

“Is it not past time," broke in Estrazi, “that you put away
these repetitious exercises of children and address yourself to the affairs of
adults?"

Khys looked from his father, to mine, to me. And to Estrazi
again did his gaze return like some hypnotized yit.

“This," said Estrazi, “could be yours." The first among the
Shapers raised his hand, and the world around showed midday, and that midday teemed with life. And we sat overlooking a sea. “And this ..." I saw what
swam in that sea. “And this," he said, dissolving from beneath us the world
upon which our flesh had taken rest.

We depended, all four, from nothing, at the center of a
sphere defined by pinpricked turbulence, all colored. Through it the stars processed,
leaving great trails of wake. Out from a common center, streaming life, they
rushed and bore us with them.

“Here," said Estrazi, “did we begin. Here will we never return,
but by proxy." I could not make sense of my brainłs imaging. I closed my eyes,
blocked out that madness. It could be I saw chaos there. I saw what I could not
see. “The child in question might, with the proper training, return word home."

We sat again before the hollow that Khys had made for his
fire, and that was there also, its light yellow and puny with the fathers so
near. “You could not have survived there longer." It was to me Estrazi spoke.
I judged him saddened. He touched my arm. “Still seek you freedom from my work?"
he inquired.

“Yes," I said, my eyes averted. “I need a time for
reflection." My mind told him what else my heart craved, before I could silence
it. He kissed me atop the head.

“I can give you little respite," he said. “And you may find
it to be heavier upon you than my service. If you find yourself insufficiently
bound, apprise me. I will set you to work.

Kystrai stood now before Khys. He raised up his son. Khys
rose but shrugged the hand away. I watched, unbelieving, as Kystrai heard from
Khys all manner of abrading without word or gesture. When the son had run dry
of words, the father again touched his shoulder. Khys turned away. His face,
full revealed, was awful to look upon.

“I will still contest with you, if you so wish it, for the
flesh child," said Estrazi to him, stepping from my side. The bronze light
flowed languorous after him as he moved. “I hate to waste you, after such
lengthy preparation, but I will give you that choice once again. Let me point
out, before you answer, that upon your own world you have imposed on others the
like judgment. We are better qualified than you to attend the instruction of
such a child."

With rage-contorted countenance did Khys regard Estrazi. For
a moment I thought he would seek his dissolution. He did not. His face took its
normal semblance. With only the flaring of nostrils and his narrowed eyes did
he signal his wrath.

“I seek not your instruction. I seek it not for myself, nor
for my son. If I had sought, I would have come here, long since. You set us
into the time, disassociate us from the rest of creation, uncaring. Purpose
notwithstanding, who has right to suspend heritage and withhold knowledge? Must
we make the climb, to prove a point? Because it is postulated by you that once
such occurred, must we mimic your trials?"

“You are not even close, abrasive adolescent, with those
assumptions. We were not so lacking for company that we sought to create
ourselves anew in space and time. What you interpret as whim is the learning
process upon all levels." Estrazi looked at Khys inquiringly. That one made no
answer.

“The creator," said Estrazi patiently, “can never experience
his own creation from within. If he is potent, he may retain the experience of
creation ongoing. But life, as flesh, may not be experienced from without. We
sought, from the creatures of time and space, what they may yet become: a more
potent creator species capable of multiplicities of awareness." Still Khys made
no reply.

“It is beautiful in your sight, is it not?" EstraziÅ‚s hand
drew the world within its circle. Khys only nodded. “I cannot know it. I am
without. I may take flesh, but still I know far too much of the workings of
reality to become immersed in it. My daughter, here, sent to me a plea for rightness."
He turned upon me.

“At that moment, you declared yourself a creature of space
and time. Committed you are, as never before, to its laws. I had thought
perhaps to take you from such lands, for you seemed not well integrated. But
you have become so."

I stared at the ground, tearful for the chance lost. But it
was not chastisement he spoke to me then. Only in my conception was it interpreted
as such.

“You make no such plea to me." He spoke to Khys. That one
did not hesitate upon the chance nor fail to heed the warning.

“I make no such plea to you," said Khys clearly.

Between them a whorl of ominous proportions took form.

Kystrai stepped there. Within the counterstalking powers he
came to stand, straight and severe, where nothing of flesh or sinew could ever
have stood.

“Khys," said he from the obscuring roils of battle, “I would
not see this. Long you have labored in the worlds of creation. Purpose did it
serve, great and worthy if one might use your own scales to weigh it upon. But
here there are no such divisions in fitness. All is fit, within one context or
another. Only that which buildeth not change has censure here. The destroyer
and the creator are one. The catalyst both disintegrates and recreates. By your
efforts Silistra saw much change. You have brought to be all the change your
conception holds. You have reached a most untenable position. One can do anything
but perpetuate stasis. There is no holding that world to your conception. Upon
what you gave them they have built. They are in need of a new creator, one who
has as his foundations that which you in your lengthy lifetime built. Upon your
works, that one will build that which you cannot yet conceive. Cede Silistra,
if you love her. You stand obstacle in her path. All masters pass. The time is
due for them to stand alone. And for you to seek a broadening of your conception.
And for a father to share the fruits of his days with a son fit to be his
inheritor." As he spoke those last words, the roil of contention dispersed.

Kystrai, legs spread wide, faced his son.

“Fifteen lifetimes I have lived upon that world. Of me, I
gave her rebirth."

“None would take that from you," said Estrazi.

“Raet would have."

“Let us not speak of Raet," commanded Kystrai, who had
spawned him. “What rivalry exists between the MiÅ‚ysten children and the
Silistran children is not our affair."

Khys laughed bitterly. His face was well known to me. He had
found his stance. His decisions, though not revealed, were made. Looking at
him, I knew he courted the life right. Kinship I felt to him, upon that
realization, and a deep respect. His eyes flicked over me, noting. I sought
longer consultation. He denied me.

“Send her back," he bargained.

“You will remain?" Estrazi queried him. “Without the
distasteful alternatives?"

I recalled, horrifyingly real, my time in the holding cubes
upon Miłysten. Above and below and upon all sides had been others, destined to
inhabit those clear prisons until certain observations had been made of their
behavior. Some of us, in those cubes, had learned a thing. I could have done
without the knowledge, at that price. Khys partook of my thought. I was pleased
I might give some small warning.

I had known. But I had not known how it would come to be. I
bit my lips, recollecting the dream. “Take them, the father and the son both,"
I had said to Estrazi. Can one be responsible for onełs dream? I had warned
him.

“Send her back," Khys asked again of my father.

“This is not an unfit place for her," Estrazi answered.

“If you speak in good faith, do it." KhysÅ‚s eyes adjured me
to absent myself. I dared not try that returning alone.

“Khys," I pleaded, “do not make compromise upon my account."

Estrazi stepped between us. “Daughter, I would speak with
you alone." And I saw Khysłs mouth, opening to speak, over Estraziłs shoulder.
Then I saw him not, nor Kystrai either.

We stood in the perfect green wood, or another wood swathed
in darkness.

He stood very still, did my father. The bronze glow coming
out from him lit the nearer trunks as if their bark had been dipped in molten
metal.

Then he held out his arms to me. I took refuge in them. A
time he stroked my hair. I pressed my cheek against his cool flesh and let my
tears flow, unchecked.

“Shed no tears for that one," he said sternly. “He needs
them not."

I did not answer.

“You found him unacceptable as a mate. Surely it cannot concern
you, what I choose to do with him. He is badly in need of certain lessons, humility
not the least of them."

“Do not chastise him upon my account," I begged.

“I will do what I have long intended," said Estrazi in a
tone that allowed no answer. “What think you of the progress we have made upon
this sphere?"

I thought of the sun, which had followed us overhead, then
dived at dizzying speed into the sea of night. What rhythm had they imposed
upon this world, that it lay cooled and green so soon after its inception?

“Is it truly that world which I started?"

“It is. You did not have intention of completing it, I hope."

“No," I said, for I had not.

“As a sphere of holding for the dharen, it will do nicely.
Here he may learn his skills and make his mistakes. There is a fitness, I
think, in dealing with him thus."

“He knows better than that."

“I think not. He has made a start already upon the shaping
of this world. He will, with little else to do, continue. And with each alteration
he induces upon this nature will he be still further bound."

I shivered in Estraziłs arms. Here was retribution. Not the
puny sort I had conceived, but a just and all-encompassing balance on the
scales of power.

“And when he breaks those bonds?"

“Then he will be what he is destined to become. We will
welcome him into the community for which he pretends disdain, but in truth has
long coveted. Then he will be ready. Now he is but a precocious child with
imagined grievances."

I recollected the Stothric prediction concerning the days of
judgment: “He who goeth first to his fall will come again, and be last."

Estrazi brushed my hair from my shoulder. I felt his cool
touch upon the dharenłs device.

“Can you make me what I was? Will you remove from me this
mark and the damage done me by Khys and his minions?"

“I can. I will not. But I will return you to Silistra."

“Let me give tasa to Khys. His affairs are barely ordered."

“He has no Silistran affairs any longer. There is no need.
You will see him again."

“And that other matter in which I sought your aid?" I
ventured.

“As you comport yourselves, so will it go. I have, at this
stage, no objection. But further use will I make of you both. There can be no
permanent exemption; your own natures will preclude it." His face came close to
mine. I drifted in his eyes, seeking understanding. I did not find it. But I
found acquiescence in myself.

He held me back from him. “I thank you for the spawn of your
womb," he said formally, in MiÅ‚ysten. “Be assured of the service you have rendered."

“Do not send me back," I pleaded, suddenly spinning in the
unconstrained time that devoured all else.

But it was late for such fears.

VII: Into the Abyss

I retain a moment of it: bearing witness to a light-rendered
scene from Stothric tradition, wherein Ambrae, having found Dyin, her true male
complement, and made that hermaphroditic match which opens the pair to universal
points of power, is taken by him to a sheer pinnacle overlooking the very chasm
in which I floated.

“Fly with me," he proposed, his feet straddling that great
peak that obtrudes into eternity.

She peered about her into a place of cold and darkness. “I
cannot. My sight is obscured," she demurred silently, for her head was all
covered over with woolens to keep her eyes from the blinding wind that sought
to freeze them dead, and she could not open her mouth to speak.

“You must find another way to see," he instructed her, and
cut away a tiny hole in the glove she wore so that the tip of her little finger
lay exposed.

That being done, he then launched himself, and by his grip
precipitated her also into the abyss.

As Ambrae, in desperation, I conceived a way to sensitize
that part of me which did not normally see, but retain within its structure the
capacity for seeing. As she changed a fingerłs nail to an organ of sight, thus
surviving her matełs required test and teaching, so did I, amid harmonics ever
forming, recreate the progression home.

But in two respects my sojourn contradicted the mythological
model:

I was alone.

And I was there overlong.

VIII: The Passing of Khys

Upon the white walkways of the Lake of Horns I found myself,
and they were red with blood. All about me was the snort and squeal of threx
and the screams of men and women. The sky was thunderous and dark.

A threx sped past me, throwing up clods of turf. To my right
it passed. Then stopped, whirled savagely around by its rider. I scrambled to
my knees and ran. I ran past corpses and struggling knots of men and women. I
leaped a forereader, trussed Parset style, wrists to ankles. Her eyes were
wide. Her mouth was gagged. More threx did I see, and more. Louder and louder
grew the hooves behind me.

I was in sight of the steps of the dharenłs tower when the
huija bit through my tunic and cloak. Thrice it curled around me, imprisoning
my arms at my side with its fanged leather. I screamed, jerked off my feet. For
a moment I dangled in midair, the metal teeth of the huija biting deep in my
flesh. Then the rider had me.

His strong arms thrust me facedown across the threxłs
saddle. He jerked my wrists behind, bound them, and disentangled the huija in a
practiced motion. I moaned as its teeth, pulling away, lifted tiny chunks of my
flesh.

I struggled to raise my head to him, to explain my identity.
But the threx was running, bounding, jumping. A hand at the small of my back
steadied me as he jerked his beast right. Before my eyes, all lay revealed.
Gasping breaths between the threxłs bounds, I tried to estimate their number. I
made it well over a thousand Parsets. My estimate was later to prove low. Then
it seemed very high.

My captor leaned low in the saddle and skewered a lake-born
man. I saw surprised golden eyes. Before knowledge came to him of his death, we
were gone, seeking others. I saw a tiask, bent over a trussed lake-born. What
she paused to do with him there upon the field of battle that had been the
placid lakeside made me retch. The saddle grip dug into my stomach, refused me
breath.

The pedestrian lake-born defenders had no choice against
mounted Parsets. They seemed not to know. My tears washed the vomit from my
chin, and the dust and dirt from my eyes.

Up the great steps of the dharenłs tower and through the
open doors did the threxman urge his mount. Those steel-shod hooves threw
sparks upon the archite and ornithalum. Its hooves reverberated like kapuras in
the vaulted hall. Bodies adorned its length. I was sobbing, and I could not
stop. Through the halls the threxman raced his beast, killing whatever moved
within his sight. Nor was he the only one.

In the seven-cornered audience room were six threxmen.

He who had me drew his mount up with theirs. It blew and
heaved and shook spittle upon me. I raised my head. The rider slapped me upon
the buttocks. Further I squirmed, that I might get my riderłs attention. He
cuffed my head with his booted foot.

“Did you find them?" I heard dimly.

“Not yet. Where shall I put this one?" said the voice of my
rider.

“Is she marked?" Again I tried to rise.

“I know not."

“Let me see her."

The rider raised me up roughly, setting me before him in the
saddle.

“Please," I said, before his hand covered my mouth. I bit
it. He grunted and set about gagging me with my hair. I wriggled from him. My
eyes pleaded with the jiask who sat opposite us upon a brown threx. The screams
and sword sound and threx noise rang through the audience chamber. Behind the
threxman, the hangings had been torn from the window. Through it, I witnessed
the efficiency with which the Parset forces invested the Lake of Horns.

“Let me see her," said the jiask upon the brown threx again,
sliding off his mount. Wadded hair was forced into my mouth, bound with other
locks behind my neck.

“She is mine," growled the rider who held me. I heard the
hiss of his blade as he drew it.

“If I am not mistaken," said Lalen gaesh Satemit, “she
belongs to those we seek."

“That one," growled my captor, “would have worn only white.
This one"he demonstrated, ripping from me cloak and tunic“wears leathers."

“Nevertheless," said Lalen, his eyes crinkled with
amusement, “she belongs to the cahndor and the Ebvrasea." He noted upon me KhysÅ‚s
device. Nor did his eyes miss my chald, set with gol.

“If they live," growled the voice, even deeper. “And if you
are not mistaken. All I want to know is where I can leave her. I would pick
some more of this lakeside fruit."

Lalen looked at me. He shrugged. I tried to speak.

He turned from me and walked to his threx. “She might know
where they are." He grunted. “She might be of some help. But put her in the
undertunnel keep with the others. Number four keep. Down three flights, left at
the turning." He mounted his threx. “I think I might pick a few myself," he
said, and urged his mount by that of my captor.

At the stra-doored stairway he was forced to dismount. We
had seen no living thing in the halls, but we had seen many that had once
lived. He left the threx, pulling me down into his arms. I could only implore
him with my eyes. The soaking hair in my mouth threatened to choke me
senseless.

“Be still," he advised, as I writhed in his grasp. I was
still. At the stairsł foot lay the guards of the undertunnels in their own
blood.

A Dordassar jiask lounged against the door of keep four.

“Did you mark her?" he grumbled, surly at his ill-drawn
duty. “I cannot keep track of them." His dark face bore a disgruntled frown.
His membranes wavered, receded.

“I will know her," said the jiask. “Lalen says she might be
the cahndorłs. I would not mark her until I am sure she is not. Here." He
handed me unceremoniously into the guardłs arms. That one kicked open the plank
door with his foot. My captorłs face split in a grin, teeth showing bright in
his dark-skinned face.

Then he turned and ran up the steps two at a time. I raged
and yelled around my gag of hair, but to no avail.

“Quiet, little crell," the guard said, laying me among
perhaps two yras of women. Some of those I saw had marks such as I bore upon my
own breast. I considered the refuge of madness. Crell, and crell, and crell
again. He dropped me between two others and took up his stance outside the
door.

It was long I lay there while the battle raged above. Thrice
men came with lake-born women they had claimed.

I struggled to free my wrists of the braided leather that
bound them. The Parset had known what he was about. I could not even loosen the
bite of that thong.

Lalen, I thought, would surely come. No matter how he
counted me, he did not hold Sereth, nor Chayin, that low. And if they were
those that remained unfound, my aid was needed. I screamed in frustration, and
the sound was only muffled gurgle. How long a time I lay there, I know not. My
wrists had ceased to feel, my fingers were no longer even cold when Lalen
brought a forereader to the holding keep.

Without comment to the guard he stepped within. Then did he
take his gol-knife and upon the trussed forereaderłs bottom trace his sign.
Hair-gagged and bound, she only shivered.

He sheathed his knife and looked around him, his prize at
his feet.

I struggled to my knees.

He ran a tanned hand through his blond hair and chuckled. Insolent,
he came and stood before me. He did not move to free me of my bonds.

“Know you the whereabouts of Sereth and the cahndor?" he
asked.

I made noises and nodded my head vigorously. Behind him, two
jiasks, similarly laden with quivering battle spoil, entered. Both were familiar
to me, though not well-known.

Lalen turned away. The men compared their new crells. I rose
unsteadily to my feet,

“A Menetpher took that one," he said to them, pointing in my
direction. I closed my eyes. Tears of relief squeezed through my tight-shut
lids. “She says she knows where the cahndor is."

“Do you believe crells, Lalen?" spoke one who had been with
us at the investment of Well Astria.

“It might be a likely chance," said Lalen. “But I seek no
confrontation with that Menetpher."

“Let us free her tongue and see what waggles forth." At my
feet, a girl bound hand to ankle moaned and turned, pulling her hair from under
my foot.

That one came toward me, gol-knife drawn. Shaking my head, I
backed from him, stumbling over the limbs of a woman slumped dumbly against the
wall. He kicked her, on his way to me. She did not even notice.

With the gol-knife he cut the hair that bound my mouth. I
closed my eyes, feeling the short lock swing free against my cheek. His fingers
sought the wadded mass between my teeth. At my throat lay the gol-knife, in his
other hand. “Do not bite," he advised.

I spat, trying to rid my tongue of a strand that wound
around it, dangled down my throat.

Lalen gaesh Sratemit came to stand beside that other, his
face expressionless.

“Know you where they have imprisoned the cahndor, crell?" he
asked me when I only stared back at him.

“Have you not had enough amusement with me, Aje?" I hissed,
using his crell name.

“Miheja," he retorted using mine, “I have barely started.
Where are they?"

“Sereth, when last I knew, was in number thirty-four, this
level. The cahndor is in the tower holding keep, on the highest level." All
three wheeled and ran from the chamber.

I sank back upon the floor, my wrists jerking their bonds.
The guard peered within. He grumbled a curse, that they had not gagged me.

I closed my eyes, that I might shut it all out, the Parsets,
the lake-born, the terrible culling in progress around me. I had not used my
skills upon the walkways. It had been too fast. And against whom would I have
raised my hand? Against Khysłs people, or Chayinłs? But I had not thought of it
then. More proof of the conditioning to which Khys had subjected me. I fled in
fear. From fear one can find no stable place to make a stand. I had run from
them in fear, as would have Khysłs Estri, who yet looked out through my eyes.

I got to my feet, a decision upon me. I had cried and
groveled and feared and been crell since I had become Khysłs. No more would it
be so. Before such as Lalen I would not restrain my skills, in pursuit of some
unattainable fitness. With what little courage I could summon, I sought Sereth.
I found him not in keep thirty-four, but another place. I turned my mind upon
the leather that bound my wrists. Such are not my strongest skills. I burned my
wrists, while at the weakening of that leather. Mind sought to part it. Precious
iths were lost while I attained certainty. Fast attendant upon it came the parting
of the thongs, with the smell of singed hair.

I leaned against the wall, my wrists still behind my back.
With one I rubbed the other, until they once more knew me. I remembered
thinking that I should not mourn for the Lake of Horns. And I called also my
own attention to the moment. Upon actionłs verge, I floated detached. This is
now. It is real, I reminded myself. Lose or gain, the moment rises.

Then I struck the guard from behind with a neatly turned
turbulence the width of my arm. I pushed away from the wall and stepped over
the lake-born women. Some had doubtless been Khysłs. They lay, and they did not
beg to join me. Not one so much as raised a glowing head. I wished I could do
the same, for a moment, then struck the ambivalence savagely aside. My stroke,
I determined, turning the guard, had not been hard enough. He would, left to
his own, regain consciousness momentarily. I sedated him further.

Down the torch-lit corridor, I heard voices, echo-loud
bootfalls.

I set off up the stairs, running. It would be Lalen. If he
gave me cause, I would kill him.

All of it, I reminded myself, upon the first landing. And I
did use all I had that day, and I used it as I saw fit.

None challenged me at the stra door. The threx-men seemed
nowhere about. I took narrow turnings, gained the back stairs of taernite. My
sensing was out, always. I saw what occurred in the seven-cornered hall. I saw
Lalen, with the unconscious guard in the under-tunnels.

I smiled to myself upon the second-floor landing. I heard
Jaheil before my mind knew him. I did not approach him, where he raged at his
jiaskcahns. We would meet, soon enough.

I was challenged, as I had expected, at the third-floor
landing. Three lake-born held the entryway. Their minds touched me, drew back.

Show cause, they demanded. By that time they could see me.
They asked no more, but parted. I hardly marked them.

I half-ran that hall to the dharenłs chambers, through the
resting and the wounded that were strewn like yristera pieces along its length.
All lake-born here. I saw few forereaders. There were, I noticed as I called
Carthłs name in the enquieted corridor, no light-chalded men. What resided here
was the resistance I had not seen upon the walkways. No whorls of fire, no hovering
swords of light had barred Chayinłs tiasks and jiasks from the Lake of Horns. Some of them, it seemed, had fought, after all.

Some, I saw as Carth opened the double doors to admit me,
had not. And then he pulled me roughly within. I made no objection. I, as he,
had heard the rumble of Parsets like a rockfall upon the back stairs. I, as he,
had seen those scattered in the hall rise and prepare.

Carth turned from the doors, pressing back against them, his
hands still clutching the bronze handles. His dark face was care-clouded, his
black curls light with dirt. His robe was ripped and stiff with blood at the
left shoulder.

“Have you word from him? What am I supposed to do?"

“Cede the Lake of Horns. Khys attends the teachings of the fathers.
A new time, and a new dharen to attend it, will preside over the next sunłs
rising." Looking around the dharenłs quarters, I made them thirty-three, not
counting. Sereth and the cahndor. These had not met steel, or had met it so
well as to be unscathed. I recognized Khysłs council members. I saw the blond
arrar Ase, among what must have been near all of his brothers. They were
silently, separately engaged. Unmoving, they were desperately busy. They sat or
leaned or stood like statues, each upon his hesting, removed from flesh.
Intently absent they were. The air pulsed and stung like hail-lightning.

I liked it not, this fighting in which they engaged. A man
cannot forsake body for mind. In my sight, those men had a responsibility they
were not discharging.

“Are the arrars too precious to fight Parsets? What do you
here, when the lakeside falls about us?" I demanded, forgetting Sereth and
Chayin, manacled together upon Khysłs couch.

Most failed to even acknowledge me. Ase laughed. Carth forsook
the doors and grabbed me by the arm.

“What say you, Carth?" pressed the blond arrar, approaching.
“Shall we cede them the Lake of Horns? Or those two?" He thrust his sneering
face toward Sereth and Chayin, helpless upon their bellies. I then knew what
they did here, the elite of the Lake of Horns. In Asełs glare and Carthłs
taciturnity I read an argument ongoing.

Carthłs answer was drowned out by the first shudder of the
thala doors. From without, louder and louder, came the pounding. The great
doors shuddered. A slit appeared momentarily, and the flash of stra. Splinters
flew. In iths the thala would be kindling as the jiasks hacked their way to
their imprisoned cahndor.

I looked about me, at the lake-born.

The councilmen rose and came to Carth. Their faces glowed
with their blood and their sweat. And yet the heat of a man embattled I saw
not, only a coldness. “No, Carth," I disbelieved, when his mind gave me trace
of the councilÅ‚s intent. “Bargain with Jaheil! You cannot"

“Ase," Carth said sharply. I backed from Ase toward the
couch. The council joined hands. No word was spoken. All about the room the
arrars rose, ringing the council, swords drawn but loosely held. The
sword-battered doors rattled and shook.

Ase reached out. “Do not," I advised. He grinned. I felt the
couch at the back of my knees. I met Carthłs eyes just before he closed them, where
he stood in the council circle.

As Ase grabbed for my wrists, the screaming began, and a high
crackling whine. I smelled the pungency of burning flesh. And it was time. I
let it come; the hallway, and Jaheilłs men screaming their retreat before the
great fire the council set there. From all sides the councilłs whorls stalked
the entrapped Parsets.

At Asełs touch, I was ready.

I sprawled back upon the coach, letting myself fall. Off balance
he was. I heard him grunt as I hit the couch and the captives, while with all
my need and desperation I threw him into the midst of the council-spawned
flames in the hallway. I saw him flicker. Then I smelled the hair and leather
and flesh, acrid, cloyingly strong, and shielded my own eyes from the light. But
I was not there; it was the arrar Ase who screamed his death denial amid the councilłs
work. With all his skill he fought them, and they, before their own, were of a
sudden unsure. The flame thinned, and I took my chance. With Ase, I reached for
life. He sought return to the council ring. I aided him, that he might bring
his dying rage back upon them all. Their flames accompanied him into the dharenłs
keep, while they wavered, undecided. Only that I did: guide their force back
upon them. Asełs departing spirit and their own agony did the rest.

In that instant, as the whorls homed in upon their makers, I
let go of them. And dived for Carth, stock-still in the first licking flames.

Carth I attacked with mind and body both, horrified in
realization. I ran to him, uncaring of the holocaust raging, throwing myself at
his tranced form. And dragged him back as the conflagration, fueled by the will
of those who birthed it, grew; smoking, crackling, bright. Then dimmer, as the
dying sought relief. Slowly the great whorl died. Around it lay arrars: singed,
burned, two missing limbs. The doors shook, dissolving. It rained black splinters
and sawdust and a torrent of jiasks.

I hardly noticed. Through pain-dulled eyes I peered at him.
Faintly, faintly resided spirit in the arrar Carth. Jerking and dragging him
across the mat, I recall, and the steady stream of sobbing curses that were
mine; and the terrible afterimage of the cleansing fire in my eyes. Closed or
open, I saw it the same. And little else. Fighting a glittered mist, I bent
close over him, deadweight in my grasp. I thrust my face close to his, and I
knew I had not done well enough.

I looked up dully and saw the arrars still able setting
their swords against the multitude. Stra clashed steel. I bent over Carth,
begging life forth. I had little to give, little to spare. I sought him. In
repayment I received a phantasmic breath, a sporadic wander of eyes under
closed lids.

I lay a moment, gaining strength, despondent, my face
against his and my hands upon his throat. “Carth," I demanded, sobbing, of his
flaccid features, “do not die. I beseech you. Not yet." I heard it, and the
succedent mutterings, but did not recognize the words as mine. I knew only that
I dragged Carth barely before the tide of combatants.

I sought the couch. I sought Sereth and Chayin, who yet wore
bands of restraint. “Carth," I pleaded as I crawled with him, holding him by
the arms across my back, “Carth, live for me just this little while longer."

Ith-years it took to reach the couchside. He slid thrice
from my debilitated grasp as I pulled him up. The arrars fought jiasks to my
rear, their curses dream-growls in distended time. Serethłs eyes met mine above
his gag. I prayed and tried once more to raise Carth. His hands seemed too cool
as I dragged his torso up on the couch.

I scrambled atop Serethłs back, that I might have more leverage,
tears streaming down my face. Some senseless stream of demands flowed forth
from me while I formed Carthłs fingers into the proper pattern. As I almost
achieved it, he slipped out of reach. I put my arms around his hips and pulled
his inert form half over Sereth. I had, with that second try, success. Carthłs
fingers, by my manipulation, freed Serethłs throat of restraint. The band, loosened,
parted. I took a gulping breath. My knees around the cahndorłs hips, I pulled
Carth toward Chayin, across Serethłs helpless back. Dread opposed me as I fumbled
with Carthłs hands. The thumbs must be together at a certain angle. I heard man
sound. A shadow fell over us.

At that moment, Chayinłs band relaxed. I tried to shake off
the hand that came down hard upon my shoulder.

“Estri," said Jaheil, seeking to lift me from them, “it is
over."

“The bands!" I protested, sobbing, as he tried to drag me
away. “You must let me finish!"

Jaheil released me. “I know nothing of bands," he rasped, uncertain.

I threw myself upon Chayin, grabbing the loosened band from
his throat. With trembling fingers I closed it back on itself and threw it
down. Then Serethłs was in my hand, and it too I closed, harmless, that it
might encircle only air.

They took Carth. I knew it only as his limp thigh was
dragged from under me. I raged at Jaheil, but he would not hear me. I crouched
there, half-crazed, threatening curses upon them if Carth did not survive.

Jaheil, huger even than I had recalled him, loomed above. It
was only as he helped me down from where I huddled by Sereth and Chayin that I
realized the enormity of what I had done. He tried valiantly, as befitted the
cahndor of Dordassa and co-cahndor of the Taken Lands, to keep his eyes from
Khysłs device upon my breast. He could not do so.

“Keys," he snapped to the jiasks not occupied with corpse or
prisoner. I took thought for Khysłs rusty mat, and its ruin. Then I laughed,
and got Khysłs own master keys from his library, where they were hidden with
his charts and precious writings.

“Get water," I heard Jaheil bark, as I turned from the library,
sliding the panel across until it locked.

“Where is Carth?" I demanded, handing the keys to him. “Do
not lose them. They and they alone are the full set. There is only the set the
dharen has, and these, which are complete." I saw Lalen, who had paused to
extract information from a wounded arrar, rise up.

Jaheil bent over the cahndor, fitting the keys until he
found one which worked upon the lockłs fetters. Lalen gave his prisoner over to
two jiasks and strode to the couch.

I took up a gol-knife that lay upon the mat. With it I freed
them each in turn of the gags, slitting the thongs and then pulling the soured
packing out of their mouths.

A jiask handed me a southern water bladder. Under his watchful
eye, I gave first drink to Chayin.

The cahndor growled and spat. “Get away from me!" he ordered
Jaheil. “Attend Sereth!" The manacles that had bound him clattered to the mat.
I saw his stiffness. His hands had been long bound behind. He raised himself
slowly, every muscle of his dark frame straining. He reached toward me,
wordless, for the bladder. His hands, taking it, shook. His face was forbidding
as he strove for command of his flesh. His dark eyes would not relinquish their
membranesł protection. Unblinking, he stared at me. I dared not look away. He
drank, and the water spilled out, sloshed by his musclesł tetanus, and ran down
his arms.

The silence of the keep, as thick as befitted such a day
when so many took up the chaldra of the soil, pressed in on my ears. Even
Serethłs low whispers, and Jaheilłs demands that he stay still, seemed importunate.

I huddled there, only watching, tremors as heavy along my
limbs as if I had been flesh-locked. Chayinłs eyes fastened upon me and held.

Sereth, grunting, ordered Jaheil and Lalen away from him. He
would not lie there and let them knead life back into his limbs. He hissed them
away, rising to his hands and knees, his head hanging low. Men do not heal
quickly in bands of restraint.

At Chayinłs behest, I edged toward him, offering the bladder.
Without looking up, he shook his head.

I dared not force him. I implored the cahndor silently.

Chayin turned upon the couch, wincing. “Drink, man," Chayin
urged, his long-fingered hands clenching up the silk.

“In a moment. Give me grace." SerethÅ‚s voice was loud as a
wind-borne leaf dashed upon the grass. He raised his head cautiously, then sat
back, steadying himself with straight arms.

Once more I sought to aid him, silent, the bladder in hand.
His eyes would allow no approach. With a gesture he indicated the couchłs head.
I went and sat there, upon my heels, the bladder resting on my thighs.

“Jaheil ..." I heard ChayinÅ‚s voice, stronger. “Get you out
of here. Surely there must be more to securing the Lake of Horns. Attend it. When I can walk upright as befits a man, I will join you."

“As you wish it, Chayin," grumbled Jaheil. He and Lalen exchanged
glances. “I will leave you Lalen." He waved his men toward the doors, which
were no longer. Those few jiasks still in the keep hoisted up their wounded and
left.

“No," said Chayin wearily to Jaheil. “There will be none
here but us."

Jaheil pulled upon his beard. His eyepatch wriggled with his
brows. Then he shrugged, and took from his belt a small pouch. He threw it to
the silk near ChayinÅ‚s knee. “You heard him," he said to Lalen, who yet hovered
there. Lalen took his leave.

“And you, too, brother," said Chayin, implacable.

The cahndor of Dordassa walked slowly to the gaping hole
that had been the doors.

“I am pleased to see that you live," rumbled Jaheil. “Godhead
is a burden in which few share fraternity."

And he lumbered away. I heard him setting guards in the corridor.

Sereth tossed his head and crossed his legs under him cautiously.

Chayin tipped the uris pouch back, his eyes closed. By it he
was greatly improved. His membranes began to flicker, where before they had
been full extended. They snapped a time across his eyes. He grinned and handed
the uris pouch to me. His fingers sought his throat. I recalled all too well
what it had been like.

“I told you to wear white upon you," he disapproved, as I partook
of the pouch.

“Upon the day of SerethÅ‚s execution," I said, my tongue at
the pouchłs rim. I wondered how I had lived without it. Then I handed it back.

“This is that day," said Chayin. “It is Brinar third fourth.
Where were you, that you know not the date?" His hand reached out, took hold of
the short lock that hung upon my cheek.

“Where I was, I cannot tell you. A place where five enths
equal five Silistran days. But I wore white, and one of Menetph ripped it from
me. And that lock of hair I am missing was shorn by a Nemarsi. Lalen of Stra,
who did not aid me, I would see disciplined."

Chayin laughed. “You would discipline a man for that? Little
crell, I wanted you in white so that none would claim you. It seemed safe
enough to me in the undertunnels. You should have stayed there. We would have
triumphed without your aid."

I pulled my hair from his grasp, flushed, furious. I said
nothing. I had adjudged the signs upon them. They prepared for battle. Chayin
was acerbic, distant. Sereth had upon him the look of a man who will not be
touched. I shook my head, uncomprehending. It was Brinar third fourth. Estraziłs
humor, perhaps? The uris sang within me.

Sereth drew up one leg, rubbed his calf. He looked at me
from under the mass of his blooded, filthy hair. Long did he assess me. I did
not mistake him. He considered my worth. I longed to touch him, give of my
strength, tend his wounds.

“Get what weapons there are here," he said. “Bring them to
me."

“Chayin, give me that." And he held his hand out to the
cahndor.

That hand, as he held it there, trembled. Yet I knew him
stronger. No longer was he banded. It seemed to me I saw the bruises on his
skin fading as he worked within. But his hand shook, as he received the uris
from Chayin. And in touching that pouch to his lips, Sereth amended his
longstanding custom. Never had he used it, in all the time I had known him.

I got them the weapons; all that I had procured from the
fitter, and two blades of Khysłs. While I fetched them, I worried the
implications of their manner. Chayin would not miss it if I sought within him.
Sereth was inaccessible behind his shield.

When I brought the arms before them, Chayin had his hands
upon Serethłs back. With each other, they shared strength.

I spread the tas, exposing what blades I had chosen, and
added to them what I had taken of Khysłs.

Sereth, after a momentary hesitation, took that blade I had
blooded, that one I had worn into his cell.

“That is the one I had meant for you," I said softly.

A tiny humor came over him as he reappraised it. “It is near
the weight I favor. Let us hope it is near enough." Still did he have that
isolate bearing. I had seen it before on himupon the kill. From it I sat back.

“Chayin, what rises?" I demanded in a whisper as Sereth got
up from couch to try the blade and his limbs.

But Chayin did not answer. Then he, too, was standing. I
found myself, in my turn, shocked to my feet.

Khys weaved, legs spread wide, upon the rust-toned mat. The
spiral Estrazi had put upon his chest glittered malevolently. He had lost all
but chald. Upon the left side of his face, and in a strip down his chest, great
chunks of the flame glow that once lurked ever about him had been torn away.
The dull and darkened skin, exposed, seemed to shrink from the air. His eyes
were gleaming slits. From out of that countenance blazed such anguish and fury
that I moaned and shrank back. Chayin took me in his arms and from behind. He
put his hand over my mouth, even as the dharenłs name escaped my lips.

“Sereth."

“Khys."

“Thought you I would quit the Lake of Horns?"

“Never for a moment."

“Do you hold stra by reason of choice?"

“It is the weapon with which I would meet you."

I opened my eyes.

“That choice I have ceded you," agreed Khys, his stance
firm. But I knew him, and what was meant by the ridges upon his jaw and neck,
by his knotted belly. And tears rolled out of my eyes onto Chayinłs hand as he
crossed the mat. Slowly and with great dignity Khys approached, to take up the
chosen weapon.

Sereth threw his head, his eyes narrowed. He stared at Khysłs
back, his wrist and forearm of their own accord making ready.

Khys, as I had known he would, chose the chased blade, its
hilt a single fire gem, which bore the seal of his own skin mimicked. When he
raised up, his glance slid by me. Sickened by what the fathers had wrought, I
was. And he knew. He touched gaze and mind to Chayinłs. They communed a time,
and while it occurred, the cahndorłs every sinew pulled tight against my back.

“I will give you quarter," said Khys, turning around to Sereth.

“I will give you quarter," Sereth rejoined, his crouch
belying his words.

“For the Lake of Horns, if you wish. For all of Silistra."

“I can put nothing against that but my life."

“It is enough. Witnesses have heard it."

I moaned under Chayinłs hand and wriggled. He slid his other
arm around my waist.

They stalked.

They circled, and as they did so found that infirmity had
evened the odds between them. I saw it clear, in Khysłs uncertain advantage,
and in Sereth, who slipped ever out of contest. I threw myself hard against the
cahndorłs imprisoning grasp.

“Hush, crell," he whispered. “We will know your new master
soon enough."

At first it seemed no battle of mind between them. Even the
clash of stra was sporadic. They still tested, limbering, each awaiting his
bodyłs own signs.

Through blurred eyes I saw Khysłs first strong passa slash
across Serethłs chest. And sobs racked me, that these two had come to contest.
The wound seemed to wake Sereth, to free him, as if he had been elsewhere. He
shook his head. He reached, and connected with a side cut to Khysłs neck;
unexpected upstroke, a hairłs breadth from death cut.

Khys stepped back. The blood raced in a dozen streams, eager,
down his chest. The shock of the cut, the burning, coupled with surprise at his
own fragile, fickle flesh, came first. Life right warred with honor within him.
It consumed his shield, pouring over me, freezing my tears. He noted. He could
no longer afford attention to shielding, not even for privacy. Victory, cold,
bitter triumph that his body would not understand, flooded him while his physical
form poised shocked and shivering upon the edge of the abyss. He sorrowed,
momentarily, that he had no time to explain to it, that collection of muscle
and nerve that demanded to survive, that he had sold the years it held yet
banked within for this moment, for freedom from all detested manipulation, for
an act and consequence solely of himself. Poised there, by his will, he laughed
through the waves of anguish and loss and his bodyłs terror that he would no
longer heed its needs. He laughed again, realizing that at this moment, which
he had chosen, even such an eloquent statement of fully actualized will became
as nothing, for where he went no fathers reigned, nor self recalled. Freed of
them, and even his mindłs craven judgment of the precipitousness of his folly,
all that remained was the act itself. He strove desperately to retake control
of his fear, grinding his teeth together to still their chatter. For out of
presage came an awful foreboding, a terrible yawning chasm of possibility: that
even this would be denied him, that this death toward which his life had labored
would be aborted.

With an effort of will that had me lunging mindless against Chayinłs
restraining arms, he closed with Sereth. Out of the sharper weapon of turmoil,
wielded by ineluctable decision, he thrust.

Sereth met him. Sparks rained as the dharenłs edge rode grating
to Serethłs hilt. They hugged close, blades between them. I could not adjudge
it.

They disengaged, closed again as if a wave thrust them
asunder, swells dashing them together in its wake.

Ah, Khys was eager. He welcomed Sereth against him like some
long-lost lover. Now, upon this moment! He begged it of the time, demanding,
afraid he could no longer hold firm before his bodyłs lust for life. I felt the
cold burn of the blades against my own breast; and a heat, blinding, borne on a
rushing sigh that lasted forever in that convulsive moment when point impaled
heart. The muscular contraction caused the blade to scrape between two ribs.
Relief flooded him. It was done.

Then they backed from each other, facing off. Khysłs
fingers, about the blade which pierced the spiral on his breast, did not feel
the blood beneath them. He coughed, and choked, swallowing hard. He tasted metal,
and salt, and success.

Serethłs chest heaved, and sweat poured down his spine, rode
the ridges of straining muscles, gleaming. That, only, I saw. But it was not
sight that mattered then. I felt the sharp, clear heat, then vertigo, then rejoicing
that it was all so easily accomplished. The pain receded, and sight and sound
took on a different hue. Khys felt his legs, trembling, fail him, and a far-off
thud as his distant, numbed flesh struck the mat

Upon gasps of anguish, I merged with him, freed of tears: a
cessation of pulsing, of final, sweet regard for those things left undone. Then
even the victory evanesced, leaving only a last wonder as to what it had meant.
He could barely feel his body fluids, draining, though a detached part of his
mind bespoke the progress of his death, chronicling, one at a time, the failure
of those systems that had long been the sum total of his world.

The grains that prickled his vision spread, multiplied,
became all colors. A wind whirled him up and away.

He saw us, and Sereth, arm with upraised blade wavering,
from a place above and behind the flesh he had known. Tenderly he bade farewell
to it, the form that had so long and well served him. He knew a faint, sinking
tingle, one last shiver of spasm along nerves he would never again command. Its
counterpart trilled through his mind, a tardy quailing before the immutability
he faced. This decision, made, could not be recalled, nor rethought, nor even
recollected. He reached out tentatively for his body sprawled upon the mat. His
attempt to move it from where it lay impaled upon his own blade, to see once
more through the eyes of flesh, failed totally. He could not remember those
skills, once employed without even need for thought.

And then that thickened dark birthed a new cataclysm of
light, and from that beckoning change came a melody he must needs follow.

As he strained to find a way through all the coalescing
beauty around him, a form which he first knew to be friend, then to be a woman,
long passed and longer mourned, extended her hand to him. As he took it, a
sound like shining attracted his attention to a door he had not before seen.
Their hands met.

 

Sereth stepped from my view.

Khys lay crumpled small upon the mat, deflated, his body
fluids a red pool all about. From out of the Shaperłs seal, Sereth drew the
dharenłs sword, around which his life still bubbled forth in lesser and lesser
spurts.

His eyes were closed.

I bit Chayinłs hand, grieving.

Sereth paused a moment, then retreated. And again advanced.
To stop as if frozen in flesh lock, though his next stroke would have been fit
and merciful.

Estrazi manifested there, standing bronze and incontestable,
his great arms folded over his chest. Not since my conception had the Shaper
come among Silistrans, and before that not for two thousand years.

Sereth retreated another pace. There he halted, and dropped
his blade, and the dahrenłs, before my fatherłs feet. His hands found his hips,
curled into fists.

Estrazi surveyed us, and Khys upon the mat. “I will take
him," said my father, his cauldron eyes compassionate. He gathered Khys up in
his arms. The dharenłs blood rolled down Shaper flesh. Like some child, Estrazi
held him, his hand covering the seal he had put upon Khysłs chest, and the
wound it hosted. Khysłs limbs dangled, swaying gently, his form limp and unknowing.

“He has left you no easy legacy, flesh son," spoke Estrazi
to Sereth. The flame tongues over his dark form seemed to thicken, to envelop
Khys. “You have in the past well served me." So did Estrazi acknowledge Sereth,
who had not moved.

“If again you use me," said Sereth in his most quiet voice, “I
would appreciate being informed beforehand."

“Then," allowed Estrazi, his form engulfed in the crucible
of creation, “I will inform you." The wave of his words hung in the air. He was
gone. He had left without word to me, his daughter.

IX: The Law Within

“For the Lake of Horns," whispered Sereth, half to himself.
Upon the mat where Khys had been lay dark stains. Among them, gleaming wetly,
lay the dharenłs chald.

He walked there, his stride slow and deliberate. Before it,
he squatted down, a hand out to steady his weight. He took up the chald and ran
it through his fists. He said a thing, too low for us to hear, and tossed his
head.

He brought it with him to where we still knelt, and sat himself
down.

“Find work to do, or I will assign you some," called Chayin,
his head twisted around. Only then did I turn and see the silent jiasks
crowding the hole where the doors had been.

The cahndor rubbed his neck. He regarded Sereth and the
chald a time.

“Witnesses have heard it." He bespoke it as last.

“Think you it was still his to give?"

“In deed and truth, it was his. And a gift he made of it to
you."

Sereth, for the first time, raised his head to us. I saw two
things unexpected: tears and anger. “I want no rule over men. All my life, men
have sought to rule me. The law within is enough bondage for any man,"

“It is your chaldra." said Chayin pointedly,

He looked down at the great chald of Silistra and back at
Chayin. The wound on his chest rolled one last tear of blood.

“You know what I wanted. You stalked it for me. What there
is left of that dream, I will take. And I would get out with her, out of the
lands of men."

“What will you do?" asked Chayin gruffly.

“Hunt, perhaps. I know not."

The grief that shrouded Sereth then made me rock back and
forth upon my knees. Barely could I withstand the impulse to keen. His eyes
went over me, in great detail, as if finally he could fill his hunger replete.
When his gaze met mine, I could not name the emotion there, for it was spawned
of owkahen, and what it had done to us.

“It is my fatherÅ‚s sign," I offered, very low, not wavering.

“It is not the marking of the flesh but the marking of the
spirit that concerns me." He rose up. Glowering, he snapped his fingers. I did
for him what he required, as I had for Khys so many times.

“She is truly crell," said Chayin. I saw nothing but the
hair fallen around my face.

“It is not that. It is that she learned it at anotherÅ‚s
hand, and to a different taste. Rise up."

I did so, woodenly. He was grinning. He pulled me close. It
seemed he touched every part of me, reacquainting himself. I protested.

Abruptly he spun me toward the cahndor.

“See for yourself," said Sereth to Chayin.

I endured the cahndorłs probing, until I could not. Then I
struck out with mind violence, all I could command. Without even a hesitation
in what else he did, he parried the blow. “Do not ... No longer can you hold
that above us. At my convenience, I will take reparation from you upon this account."
His dark eyes had no hint of film.

He pushed me from him. I stumbled, caught myself,
straightened, halfway between them. I saw Serethłs eyes, hard and resentful.
But I had seen what else lurked there. I tore my hair from my face, squared my
shoulders under his scrutiny.

“She called KhysÅ‚s name when he and I faced each other," Sereth
said to Chayin.

“Crells and ownersthus it often is with them. If she had
been less to him, she would be less to you," opined the cahndor. I heard
jiasks, sharp laughter in the hallway. “But she was not obedient when I bade
her stay her hand from these affairs."

“Shall we take that chald off her?" Sereth suggested.

“Immediately," the cahndor agreed.

They cut it from me. I did not object. It was of no value to
me. My mind was full of them, and what they were, and the rightness of Khysłs
predictions as regards them. Though I looked at Sereth, all my love offered up
with my eyes, I said nothing. I was hisa spoil of the circle, crell, whatever
he chose. That which had driven him to contest with Khys still raged in him. He
would vent his anger on me, doubtless. I stood very still, pliant, that I might
not worsen his temper.

I recalled a time I had seen Sereth and the cahndor match
blades. They had been only working their skills. With weapons, I had never seen
better. They were, perhaps, the best on Silistra. And I considered Khys, who
had gone against Sereth with sword. Knowing his skill, Khys had fought him. And
it had not been as other times I had seen Sereth wield stra. There had been no
skittering of Khysłs blade from his grasp upon the first or second stroke. Khys
had chosen his successor. Estrazi had ratified the choice. And Sereth stood
regarding me from under his blood-matted hair, thinking.

“Tell me of your abduction," he ordered.

“Do so," added Chayin from the alcove window.

I thought of what concerned me, and I thought of something
else. “Sereth, what choice will you make? I care not about the rest. My father
and Khys both meant Silistra for your hands. Who will take it up? Chayin
cannot, else he be ever engaged in riding around the perimeters of his
holdings." Parsets believe that to own a thing, one must make use of it.

“Tell me of your abduction," repeated Sereth very quietly,
approaching.

“Ask Dellin, who was there with me. Or MÅ‚tras, whose work it
was."

I retreated a step, halted, hopeless. He took hold of my
shoulders. “Estri, at moonÅ‚s rising you are going to wish Khys yet ruled at the
Lake of Horns."

His fingers dug in my flesh. “Sereth," I whispered. “Go into
the prisons. See Dellin and MÅ‚tras, in keep twelve. Hear what they have to say.
See the others, the killing, the carnage. Then tell me again that we will hunt,
away from the lands of men."

“I will tell you again. We will hunt." But he stuffed KhysÅ‚s
chald in his breech.

Chayin forsook the alcove in a flurry of cushions. His countenance
was grim. “Let us go and see Dellin and this other. She is, after all, her
fatherłs daughter. Though crell, of course." His eyes, touching mine, softened.

“That is precisely the problem. But we will go." He took up
the fallen swords from the mat. Khysłs blade he tossed to Chayin, who found its
sheath among the weapons upon the couch.

I followed the cahndor, thinking of the light blade. He put
his arm around my shoulders. “You are superb," he whispered, then released me.
I backed from him, into Sereth. I shook my head, turning away. But I should
have known that Chayin saw. He, too, had been with Sereth at the sack of Astria.
He, as well as I, knew Sereth. Those three words sustained me, upon our foray
through the halls to the undertunnels, past the groaning and the maimed and
those who could groan no longer, those to whom bodily ills were not pertinent
any longer.

We went the route of Serethłs choosing, down the front
stairs and through the main halls. As we proceeded through that Parset
slaughter, his brow grew furrowed and his hand sought frequent communion with
his hilt. Thrice he stopped and examined men left in the halls, those Jaheilłs
Parsets had adjudged no further threat. One man he slew. The second was dead.
The third he hoisted upon his shoulders and carried into the seven-cornered chamber,
in which the Parset wounded and some few prisoners lay. With a forereader who
had been freed to serve, he left instructions.

As he turned back to us, a banded woman was carried in. A
blade had pierced her through.

Chayin stopped the man who bore her; Sereth strode close,
his carriage ominous. The man explained that the woman had thrown herself upon
his blade. His tone was one of amazement. Sereth bade him put her down. He
knelt close to her, spoke very low. Her lids flickered and opened. She managed
some soft words upon her death breath.

Sereth straightened. He took my arm and led me to the door.
The cahndor stayed a moment, then followed.

“The man who put her in restraint was dead, slain before her
eyes. She had no wish to live that way." It was Chayin who informed me, when he
gained my side. Sereth was far from the lands of speech.

“Speak to me of those we seek," proposed Chayin, as we
passed the barred gate. Sereth would take us through the maze that ended with
the high-numbered cells. Upon that way, there would be sufficient time for him
to think whatever thoughts he might choose.

“Only will I say to you that they must not be harmed. Khys
put Młtrasł life into my hands for safe-keeping. Since I can no longer keep
him, it falls to you both. He is to be taken to the plain of Astria. There he
will find his helsar. Dellin also is to take a helsar."

“Do not speak to me of KhysÅ‚s will, Estri. Not just yet."
And Serethłs tone kept me mute the whole way through those extensive passages.
We saw, as we had above, jiasks and tiasks. I wondered at this, when the first
group of five challenged us, but then I recalled Chayinłs knowledge of the Lake of Horns. Maps can be made. Directions are easily passed from one hand to another. I
had drawn a threxman upon the shores of which none are empowered to speak.
Chayin had assured me of his safety, while in the tower holding keep. Khys had
spoken of rebellious tiasks in the south.

We were approaching the cell corridors when it came clear to
me, and I risked an inquiry.

“I had heard that there was great unrest in the south, that
the tiasks roamed the lands in gangs. And yet I see tiasks wherever I look.
Have you come to terms with the rebelsł leader, cahndor?"

His laugh rang out and back from the taernite. His white
teeth gleamed in the torch flame. “The leader of the rebellion. Yes, you might
say I came to terms with him. You see, he had access to my most secret thoughts.
My most devious plans were always shown to him. Whatever steps I took to quell
the tiasks, he was always an enth before me. More and more yras of jiasks did I
send after the renegade tiasks. I but drove them farther north."

“And when they were in the northwest," interjected Sereth, “Chayin
had no longer need to make war upon himself."

We turned down that taernite undertunnel, torchlit, rank
with mold and seepage, in which the dharen bred yits and incarcerated
evildoers.

“How did you get the falsehood past Khys?" I wondered.

“It was no falsehood. The rebellion was real enough, only was
it mine. I but stayed at my hest. Crux did the rest."

“You used me against him," I accused. Chayin had told me
twisted truths, that Khys might take them from my mind.

“He used you against us," Sereth said, his eyes upon the
cells, each as we passed it.

Man sound came to us from somewhere down the shadowy hall.

Keep number thirty-four lay open. As we passed it, Chayin
spoke of what concerned him.

“I have paid highly for this domain you spurn," he said,
toneless, to Sereth. “When I conceived this investment, after returning to the
south from my helsar training, it seemed meet. I thought then that I had not given
you couch-gift. It seemed fitting at the time. I would have avenged myself upon
him then if neither of you lived. I am not one to judge men, other than myself."

Sereth stopped in the hall. “I do not take your meaning."

“We are all very different from what we were. I see in that
difference a sameness. If you will not have the Lake of Horns, that is your
affair." They stood opposite each other in the hall. Then Chayin purposefully
moved to SerethÅ‚s side. “Come back with me into the south. Roam the Taken Lands.
Regent for meall that is mine is yours. Or raise threx upon Mount Opir. The grass is good there."

“Yes, the grass is good there," said Sereth quietly. They embraced,
and I turned away. From the low-numbered cells, jiasks advanced in a group. Before
each cell they paused, opened, inspected.

And I knew that he considered it, as did I, and that such a
move would sate the heart and salve the spirit in each of us. A part of me
screamed silent assent, but I could not force the words out. His decision, and his
alone, it was. And from that decision would spring all that might be seen when
the crux time cleared away. I had done my partI had brought him here.

We met the knot of jiasks before keep twelve.

Among them was the Menetpher who had taken me. I grinned at
him, safe between the cahndor and Sereth. He grinned back. My fingers found the
tiny holes the huija had chewed from my upper arms. They were quiet, awaiting
Chayinłs word.

He gave it. He bade them find all those who bore bands of
restraint and put them together. The cell checks, he assured them, could wait.
From their leader he got the keys. And Jaheil, he ordered them seek, and invite
to the dharenłs keep at sunłs set. Also he inquired of them about hulions. None
had seen even a single one of the great winged carnivores. Hulionsł favorite
food is threx. He singled out that man who had first taken me, and another, and
bade them organize a watch for the beasts. The men, dismissed to their tasks,
scattered.

As Chayin chose a key and tried it, Sereth bade him not fret
over hulions.

Chayin grunted, his shoulder to the warped door. The swollen
wood protested its way across the stone.

Dellin and MÅ‚tras sat as far from the door as they could, huddled
together under the galleryłs shadow, against the wall. Their frames showed some
signs of cursory interrogation, Parset style.

I looked up at the gallery. None stood there. But there was
a razor-moon upon the stone, one edge dulled reddish brown. I got it from
Dellinłs mind, even as Sereth took up the weapons; as he scrutinized them,
where they sat watching. Jiasks, three, had taken time for oejri-anra, a target
game played with razor-moons by men with the skill to make them return to hand
after they are cast. In these close quarters, the game had been a true test of skill,
with Dellin and MÅ‚tras the live targets. The flesh wound MÅ‚tras had sustained
lay upon his right thigh. That had been after they had been questioned.

Neither man moved. Their eyes lay upon us. They did not
cower or plead or accuse or resist. They awaited.

By Młtrasł side, upon the stone, lay two ors. One was open.

Sereth squatted down before them, spinning the razor-moon
absently. Dellin stared from the cahndor to Sereth, to me. He thought of what
we had done to him, when last the three of us had held his person. His eyes
locked upon the cahndor with such abject terror that Chayin smiled. MÅ‚tras just
observed. He did not know enough to be frightened.

The cahndor leaned against the curving wall. Sereth called
me, and I went to his side.

“Estri tells me," he said to Dellin, “that you were with her
when she was removed from the Lake of Horns. Chayin seeks vengeance for the
murder of his couch-mate. I seek some reason to keep you from his hands. If you
have any suggestions upon this matter, I will hear them."

Chayin growled something unintelligible and shifted his
stance against the wall. I smiled at MÅ‚tras encouragingly. Dellin closed his
eyes and said nothing.

Chayin leaned over and spoke in his ear. He shivered. Then
he told all he knew of what had taken place: of Khysłs appearance before him,
his flight from the dharenłs wrath, Młtrasł plan to destroy the hides, the
crippling of the ship upon the sphere of restraint that now encircled Silistra.
That point, and what Khys had done with the crew of the Oniar-M, and with the
ship itself, took Serethłs interest.

“Chayin," he interrupted DellinÅ‚s telling, “it seems that we
will indeed hunt, and together. I have long desired to see what rises across
the Embrodming."

“I would welcome your sword. Though it lies heavy upon me, I
must discharge my obligation to Liumałs shade." That kill smile flashed over
him, a moment out of hiding. I thought of Khysłs words to the Młksakkans when
he released them into the wilderness, that Chayin would doubtless come to hunt
them.

Sereth turned back to Dellin. “Are you telling me we are rid
of MÅ‚ksakka and her confederates?"

“All I know is what he told me. Our people had a set to get
off-planet. At the end of that time, the barrier became impenetrable from
within, as well as without. If it is true, you are by now looking at the last
two off-worlders upon Silistra."

“And why did he make you the exception?" snarled Chayin.

“I have no idea," said Dellin.

“He wanted them to take helsars," I supplied. “DellinÅ‚s
uncle became Młksakkałs adjuster when you killed Mossennen." It was to Sereth I
spoke as the pieces fit together in my mind. “He wanted them to remain here
until they had mastered sufficient skills of mind to return to their own
planets. They are both high on their worlds, Dellin by blood, MÅ‚tras by skills.
They are his envoys, the ongoing perpetrators of his hests upon the time. Look
at the hesting text. It is for such as MÅ‚tras it was written. In time they will
bear Khysłs works home with them."

MÅ‚tras, hearing this, sat forward, his hand upon the ors by
his side. He shook his head violently, as if his ears had taken water.

“Estri," warned Sereth, “I have told you once: KhysÅ‚s wishes
do not concern me." Thereupon, Sereth found MÅ‚tras of interest. “You seem no MÅ‚ksakkan,"
he remarked. “What is your world?"

“Yhrillya."

“And how do you find Silistra?" Chayin also spoke to him.

“Inhospitable," MÅ‚tras said, his black-ringed eyes, circled
with bruise, steady.

“You are chaldless," Chayin observed. “When speaking to
chalded, it is customary to include some form of title or name." He drummed his
fingers upon the fire-gem hilt of the blade that had been the dharenłs.

“But tell me the proper form of address, and I will use it,"
said MÅ‚tras carefully in his stilted Silistran. I knew then that Chayin, for
whatever reason, would not kill him.

Chayin, most pleasantly considering the circumstances, gave
his titles.

I shifted beside Sereth, recalling what MÅ‚tras had done to
me.

At their bidding, MÅ‚tras told them what he had done. He told
it well, with the directness of a man who takes pride in his craft. How he had
come to be upon the commission, he did not explain. But all else he told them,
even that I had seemed to him small in the hips.

Sereth, at the last comment, laughed. I stared at him, that
off-worlder in whom Sereth had taken interest.

“I have your ijiyr," I said softly to MÅ‚tras. “If you would
ever regain it, watch your tongue."

Perhaps Sereth and Chayin sensed some obscure siblingship
with MÅ‚tras. I found in myself no echo of it.

The cahndor came and took hold of my arm. I shook off his
hand.

“Take her out in the hall," said Sereth sharply to Chayin,
who obeyed him.

“I cannot stand it," I hissed at him, leaning against the passage
wall.

“You will doubtless find the strength," Chayin predicted.

“What care you?" My limbs shook, and my head throbbed.

He grinned. “It has been long since I have seen him so well."

“You did not take revenge upon MÅ‚tras for Liuma."

“MÅ‚tras looks of more worth than Liuma. And there are the
others."

“What should I do?"

“Be silent. He will do what he will do. Just wait."

“What brought it to this?" I found my vision blurred.

“We did," said Chayin, taking me against him.

We stood thus a time. Down the hall came tiasks, singing,
their bladders full and plump. Chayin commandeered one and bade me drink. I did
so, also taking the uris he offered up. With it came to me the remembrance that
Sereth had this day used uris, and that such was not his custom.

I had just handed it back when Sereth took his leave of
Dellin and MÅ‚tras.

“I bade him seek us in the south if he wishes," said Sereth.
His eyes seemed a strangerłs.

“MÅ‚tras? Good. He is worth having." Chayin released his
hold, stepped from my side.

“You have something of his," Sereth said to me.

“You have it. I had it. It is with the dharenÅ‚s papers." I
snarled it, without volition.

Sereth and Chayin exchanged glances.

“Would you do me service?" asked the Ebvrasea very softly,
of Chayin.

“As ever," Chayin replied.

“You meet with Jaheil at sunÅ‚s set. Consider this: there is
no need for a dharen upon Silistra. The council is dead. The slitsałs fangs
have been pulled. The outside world will not crumble if there is no rule from
the Lake of Horns. The value of such manipulation by a group of elite inbreds
is questionable. The blood has value, I have been told. Good. Take those women
and men that please you, and use them in the south. The gene pool will be
widened."

“Just leave it?"

“Wreak some dissolution. Take the finest women, breed them.
Reap what spoils you choose. But leave not enough of the Lake of Horns that they may rebuild empire. You need not kill them, those you find unworthy of the
crell pits. Perhaps they will become a city. Let them, with your leavings,
instigate a Well. Let them, like the rest of Silistra, do work. Let them flee,
or stay, I care not. I would see the place torn stone from stone, and its
inhabitants scattered to the edges of the world." He grinned bleakly. “But it
would take too long."

“That is your will?"

“It is. We must break the pattern, lest Khys with his hests
continue to control us. I am no caretaker of his designs. I do not intend to implement
them."

“But you will go with me across the Embrodming?" Chayin
pressed.

“Yes, I will do that."

I studied him in the light of what he had revealed. When
speaking of the lake-born, his bitterness had rattled like death in his throat.
I well recalled what Khys had said to him: that his sperm was inferior, that he
was not fit to breed one such as I. I shivered. My hips found the stone wall of
the corridor. It was as damp and slick as my skin.

“You will not go with me to Jaheil?"

“No, not yet. Do me another service."

“Name it."

“Seek Miccah, the high chalder. See that he, or some other
if he is dead, leads you to the bands of restraint. Key and close them all.
There are none left capable of producing them, thanks to Estri."

Chayin looked at me. Then he nodded. “It has a certain fitness,"
he remarked. “Think upon which of the Taken Lands would suit you."

Sereth smiled. They exchanged a grip, one of five turns. It
was the jiasksł grip of triumph. The cahndor strode away. The torchlight fired
his rana skin bronze as EstraziÅ‚s. “At moonÅ‚s rising, where will you be?"
Chayin called back over his shoulder.

“Attending to the discipline of a certain crell I have come to
possess. You are welcome to assist me." Sereth took up a lock of my hair.

“I will have a meal set. Such undertakings are often
lengthy," the cahndor laughed.

“You would not," I said, incredulous.

He wound the length of my hair around his fist, by it
pulling me toward him. I had thought, when I suggested we view Dellin and MÅ‚tras,
that he would be apprised of the injustices around him and make reparations. He
had not been. Rather he had determined that Silistra had no need of a dharen.

His hand, at the nape of my neck, tightened painfully. “Estri,
cease this," he said, his eyes intent. There had been, when he spoke with
Chayin, laughter there. Now I saw none.

I stared up at him. “I thought you did not read womenÅ‚s
thoughts," I accused.

His other arm went around me. My head was pressed to that
wound he had so recently taken. My body knew his. I ignored it, making myself
stiff.

He picked me up and carried me down the cells. “Not when I
can help it," he said. “Woman, what is wrong with you?"

And then when I did not answer: “What is this sudden thirst
of yours for fitness? Are you some lake-born?" He found the cell he had sought.
His old one. He laid me upon the rushes and closed the door.

I knew, though shadows masked him, that he was slouched
against it, his arms crossed over his chest.

I sat up on the lake rushes. They were damp and fraught with
jabbing ends.

After a time he came and stood over me. My eyes, adjusted to
the scant light from the tiny oblong window, saw his hesitation as he disrobed.

I found I sat upon my heels. I realized it when he knelt before
me and took my palms from where they rested on my thighs. His anger was for
Khys, and his teachings, but I felt it in his driving use. He held my hands
from me in that first wordless couching. It was a thing of claim and conquest,
of need pent too long, and under him I wept, praying to I knew not what that he
would find in me that thing he sought.

And it came to pass that I spoke much truth for him there,
in his cell. I had come here once and tried to free him. I had proffered my
aid. Failing that, I had offered my use. Did I not think him Khysłs match, he
had asked me. He recalled it, reminding me of what he had told me then; when he
chose, he would take me.

I spoke to him of how it had been for me: that I had dreamed
of him, so often; that even unknowing myself, I had known his touch more than
Khysłs; that my body had never failed to recollect him, even when my mind did
not. And I marked his light, deft touch in my mind.

There came a moment in that couching when he also spoke of
what concerned him. It was not until he had, to his satisfaction, reclaimed my
flesh. I lay with my head in his lap, my lips tracing an old scar. In my heart,
at that time, there was no ease.

“I have a problem with you," he said, very low. “You question
me. If I am fit. If I am right. You risked yourself and all our lives when you
tried your skills on Khysłs council. If Carth had died, Chayin and I would be
yet in bands. I told you long ago, when first you revealed yourself, that you
must not initiate precipitous actions."

I said nothing. “At that time, I was seriously concerned
with the problems such skills might engender. Now I have similar skills, and I
am still not unconcerned.

“Estri, if it had not been for you, I would have dealt long
ago with Khys. It was his possession of you that held me back. You have come,
like the lakeborn, to regard men with too much concern to the color of their
skin and the nature of their ancestors."

Then I did speak. “I wrote a critical essay for the dharen
upon that subject. Carth tore it up." Sereth spat a single word of
condemnation, sufficient in his sight for Khys, Carth, and the written word.

“Let me make this clear. I fared reasonably well against
Khys. My sense of fitness is not impaired. I know what I am doing. I expect no
less from you now than I expected upon Mount Opir."

I recalled it, that time. In all things had I deferred to
him.

“You struck out at Chayin with mind. If you try such a thing
with me, I will not be so easy upon you as he might."

“I love you," I whispered, my lips against his thigh.

“And I have lost many enths of sleep over you. I intend to
lose no more. I know you are confused. Things will become clear to you. Seek
the sort."

I kept silent, in fear of his displeasure.

Exasperated, he pushed me from him. “Estri, speak your mind.
How dare you be so affrighted of me?" he growled, shaking me by the hair.

“I have lost the habit," I said when I could. And: “Please,
this is not what I seek with you." I wanted nothing else but him. And yet the
current of the time clashed us together like unmanned derelicts upon a
full-roused sea.

“If you can, relearn it. I do not fear your thoughts or your
skill." He pulled me onto his lap. “To own a thing, one must make use of it."

His hands upon me are not a thing that can be described.
Beside his touch, all othersÅ‚ pale spectral. “I will settle for no less than I
have ever demanded from you," he informed me twice more.

“Take your reparations," I begged him. “I am yours, crell
without doubt."

Later we walked the dharenłs tower, enquieted, arms around
each otherłs waists. He sensed my fretfulness, and allowed that he would teach
me the shield that served both him and Chayin so well. I rested my head against
his shoulder as we came upon the third-floor landing.

The nightłs stars were framed in the darkened keepłs window.
He led me there, not allowing the ceiling stars to glow.

“I would speak to you. Will you hear me?" he said quietly,
throwing his leg over the ledge.

“You know me," I said.

“I know what I feel. There was a time when you would have
spoken of your own accord. You must understand me. I know the hest, and the
sort; and I know where hesting blends with shaping and becomes unnatural
constraint. You yourself know the rules. Even Khys could not escape them. And
many take helsars. The time is sorely beset."

“I do not understand you," I said.

“There are stars in the sky," Sereth observed. “Once, I
might have gone out among them. Khys felt it better that we be isolated. I
cannot now hunt among the stars. Hear me, ciłves," he said, the shadow face
turning to regard me, and then back to the stars over the Lake of Horns. “I might not wish to go. But I would like to regain the choice. I may set my will to
that barrier. I cannot say. There is the Embrodming Sea, and what lies beyond.
I have reclaimed you. I am reasonably content. In time, you will better recollect
yourself. I will see to it. You are not as stripped of skills as you pretend. I
invite you to take them up. I advise you to do so. We will all need what weapons
we can muster. The helsar children roam the land. The law within will be
greatly tested."

He paused. I waited, lest my word cause him to retreat once
more into his taciturnity. My hand found his thigh, lay there quietly. His
finger traced a pattern along its back.

“Perhaps he is right to contain us," he mused. “And perhaps
your father is right. But I do not think so. The helsars have come to be,
premature. We will have to deal with them, and the resultant strains upon
owkahen. What Khys has done, right or wrong, is upon us. We are reaping his
fruits. Storms rage upon owkahen, turbulence abounds. The wind from the abyss
howls hungry. If we are not mature enough to limit shaping skills, they will
destroy us. As they destroyed him. It was not I; I was chosen executioner, and
pawn ongoing. It was not I, but owkahen. His own works destroyed him. He used
the time coming to be like a bow. By will he notched the shafts of his conception,
and at length, the tension being untoward, the bowstring frayed, snapped. The bow
snapped back. And we are left to seek what we may.

“I have found it necessary to put restraints upon my own
skills," said Sereth, almost inaudibly. “I choose not to obviate space, when I
might walk or ride or sail. I choose not to shape, nor to intrude upon the
minds of others. I do this not because I am weak but because I am cautious. I
enjoy my body. I would continue to inhabit it. We live in a world subsumed with
natural stricture. I would have it no other way. I find it comforting that the
sun rises and sets dependably. I like to know that the ground will not dissolve
from beneath my feet between steps."

His shadow face regarded me. “You have felt the backlash
from imprudent twisting of those laws. It was you who first spoke to me of such
dangers. Khys might speak even more eloquently, had he survived them. But he
was mad, too long enfleshed. Though brilliant, he was mad. And no book of
cautions is going to tame the helsar winds when they blow."

And I saw him in my mindłs eye: Khys, who locked doors though
none who might threaten him could be by such means obstructed; who wore stra,
though none of Silistra could stand against that armory of mind the dharen
possessed. And I saw the helsars, in their thousands, aglitter on the plain of
Astria.

Shaking the phantoms from me, I tried to pierce the darkness
that hovered around Sereth. Never had he spoken to me thus. My hand lay limp
upon his thigh, cool upon his heat. I stared into the darker shadows where his
eyes must be.

“Perhaps we will learn to contain our skills and use them lawfully,"
I ventured. “Those who do not will be, by their own works, destroyed. Owkahen
takes reparation from those who would rule it."

He took a sibilant breath, spewed it out. “It might come to
be," he said with a voice like driven sleet, “that we destroy all the order on
Silistra, and, like Khys, find ourselves bereft of choice, surrounded by chaos
born out of our inviolability. It might be that with so many engaged in
ordering the universe to please them, Silistra will become divested of sequentialitya
sphere where there is no certainty, no surety upon which a man can count. One
must have a place to stand. It comes down to this: we either order our skills
or be destroyed by the crux we engender.

“I would not have it so," he whispered. “Nor would I attempt
to legislate morality. Each must choose for himself. As long as I can recall, I
have hested and sorted. I did not need Khys or a helsar to teach me, Man comes,
of nature, to the sort and the hest. No more.

“Now," he said, touching my cheek, the shorn lock that
flopped there, “do you understand why I would not hear of KhysÅ‚s will, or
Estraziłs? If I must be responsible for my actions, they will be in my sight
right. Always have I done it thus. I know no other way."

I kissed his fingers as they played upon my lips.

X: In Deference to Owkanen

In the predawn I left them, soundless. I stood over them a
time, where they were melded by the shadows into some many-legged creature not
of my acquaintance. I thought sure my breath would wake them, roaring down
through my nose. And what I would say, when they caught me, I conjectured. Almost,
I lay back down beside them.

As one embarked upon a nightmare, I got gear from the wardrobe.
At any moment I expected a hard grip upon my shoulder. And then their anger.
The breeze of my painfully slow movements raised every fine hair upon my body.
But I had gained the hall. And then I ran, fittings in hand, down the rear
stairs, my breaths barbed and my mouth full of tongue.

One comes, inevitably, to the great doors with their inlaid
golden beasts. I took an alcove, therein garbed myself in the tunic and cloak,
and belted the light blade about my hips. And I congratulated myself, Sereth is
the lightest of sleepers. Chayin has desert ears.

The guards at the open doors dozedall but two, who had
found amusement with each other. They did not look up.

Out I walked between those bronze doors twice the height of
a man. My bare feet trod the cold stone steps. The evening bristled with Brinar
chill. Wirur, constellation of the winged hulion, glittered faintly in the coming
dim.

Upon the ways were a great number of threx, strung on ropes,
their gear piled before them, as is Parset custom. There were, of course, no
saddle-packs or saddles. That, also, is Parset custom.

I chose a young-seeming male who slept upon his feet, He
slept no more when I started toward him. He gave me scrutiny, his pointed ears
flattened. Then he snorted softly and tipped them to my croon. He did not know
me. He snapped his huge teeth together. But he was interested. I have, with
animals, some small skill.

Out from the Lake of Horns in the first outpouring of dawn I
rode him, bareback. His stride was clean and fast, his manners and mouth soft
and sweet. We could not, I adjudged, shifting my knees lower on his barrel,
gain the trees before true day. Where my thighs had clutched him, the hair was
dark and sweating and the sweat frothed white. Not by true day, I thought,
leaning forward, low upon his neck. I hoped, as I urged him for speed, that
those who watched for hulions atop the tower would not see, or in seeing, mark
only the threx, running breakneck toward the encircling trees.

We did not make the trees by true day. But we were not much
later within the dappled dark-light they filtered.

I drew him up. We rested, blowing stentorian breaths. I
sluiced froth and sweat from under my legs. In that air a fog streamed from us,
not dispersing. The tree trunks were immense. The first branches started far
above my mounted head. The day seemed hardly noticeable; the cool Brinar light,
weakly piercing the tree cover, had not even the strength to dry the leaves.

I kicked him moving, lest he be done ill by standing and
steaming in the damp. He snorted. The night water showered us from above. I did
not mind.

I gave the nameless threx his head. I did not know where I
was bound. I had run from Sereth. I had not run from Khys when the opportunity
presented itself, nor from Chayin, though I had had many chances, nor even from
Dellin so long ago on the road to Well Arlet.

I wished I could cry. I wished also that the young threx was
possessed of a less protruding backbone.

I had not thought I would get this far.

The green-dark deepened. The threx lowered his muzzle to the
ground and sniffed rumblingly as he picked his way.

I had run from none of them, but I had run from Sereth.

The evening past had yielded much. They had meted out justice,
in their fashion.

They had returned to MÅ‚tras his ijiyr. He had thanked them,
and played for them a dark and explorative piece that ended unresolved. He had
said that the power source, self-contained, would last a thousand years.

“And then what?" had said Sereth soberly.

Chayin and Dellin had laughed. MÅ‚tras had not, but only
placed the ijiyr again in its case.

Then did Sereth and Chayin give to them the threx they had
appropriated. Sereth had spent some time searching a gentle beast for MÅ‚tras.
Such are not too common among tiasks and jiasks.

MÅ‚tras looked upon the beast warily. He clicked and muttered
something in his own language. The stars were only rising above the lake. The
fattened moon, just clearing the trees, was smeared with blood.

Młtrasł uncertainty had been a palpable taste to us all. How
strange and terrible and crude we seemed to him, great bloodthirsty animals
riding upon their like.

“Just assert yourself," Dellin advised, mounting his own
beast. When he had it settled, he took Młtrasł threx by the head stall.

Sereth helped MÅ‚tras mount. We watched them as they
departed. Dellin, anxious to be off, still held Młtrasł beast when the dark
consumed them. They went gladly to the Liaison Firstłs upon the plain of Astria.
The last we sensed of them was their relief, floating back like scent upon the
breeze.

Though Sereth knew of Khysłs hest and their intention, he
did not speak to them of helsars.

He had spoken to them of the Silistrans trapped upon the
space worlds, orphaned by Khysłs barrier. I had given little thought to
themthe wellwomen, the telepaths, the teachers, and the dharenłs agents. Dellin
and MÅ‚tras and Sereth and Chayin had long discussed them.

It was then that it came to me, while I strove to separate
Serethłs silhouette from the lakeside night as he stared longingly after Dellin
and MÅ‚tras. I caught taste of him then; that shield for a splintered heartbeat
of time crumbled by his need. How greatly he envied them, unbound and free, off
upon whatever errands they chose. And I saw his life as he perceived itand I
saw that although in a sense he had won his freedom, he considered it putative.
Sereth, child of owkahen, had served his master well, that he might win surcease,
and had become even further bound. I shared my thought in a moment of privacy
with Chayin, and he upheld me.

“It has been before us all along," he agreed, lying amid the
cushions, his membranes attesting to the strength of his conviction. “We saw,
but we did not realize. Both of us, who love him, failed to see." And what we
had overlookedthat he was in a sense Estraziłs hest that all the fathers had
long sought, all that Khys so long obstructedmost discomfited us.

He is hase-enor: of all flesh. In my research, during my
early pregnancy, I had not neglected him. Sereth, who bears every bloodline
upon Silistra, had been of use to me in my criticism of Khysłs genetic
policies. It is Sereth who is first-come to time and space, presage of what the
future might hold, should all be free on Silistra to mix their blood.

Chayin and I are both catalysts forced upon the time. Sereth
is natural to it. He is owkahenłs son. To sons, fathers have been known to set
tasks, and ultimately to show favor. Should the son prove worthy, it is often
so, between fathers and sons.

Upon that determination, I knew what I must do. I showed him
Khysłs most secret charts and papers. He was unconcerned with them. He had, he
said, just come from seeing Carth. Carth, he assured me, would live. His eyes
were far indrawn. He had been long among the wounded and maligned.

It was then that he adjudged us both lacking in compassion,
and I sensed in him the distance the time had put between us. Before, he had
not met my father. It seemed to me, hearing his words, that we might never span
the gulf of our divergent heritages. All of Khysłs knowing words came back to
me. I rubbed the seal upon my left breast and let my eyes drink of him, for
that drink would have to last me long.

He watched me, sidelong, but made no attempt to aid me up
from out of that particularly female pit of self-abasement into which I had
fallen. And Chayin, angered, rose up and left, growling that he must see to his
child. I had seen the child, in the arms of that well-woman who bore Serethłs
seed. Sereth seemed to barely recollect her. I had asked of her disposition and
been told that she was destined for Nemar, crell to the cahndor.

The threx stumbled, his forefoot caught momentarily in an
exposed root. I patted him reassuringly, and urged him forward. His shoulder,
under my hand, twitched and quivered, but he quickened his pace.

The hulionłs roar stopped the threx so suddenly I grabbed
his neck for support. I cautioned him to silence, slipping off his back.

The hulion, roaring repeatedly, appeared between the trees.
The threx, affrighted beyond sanity, waited no longer. Even as those
gold-gleaming eyes fixed upon it, it reared screaming upon its hind feet. The
reins, jerked from my hand, flapped wildly. I made one abortive jump for them.
A steel-shod hoof creased my skull. My vision became particles of light. I felt
no pain.

When I felt again, it was a great rough tongue scraping my
arm.

When I saw at last, I saw a face. That face loomed against
darkness. I put my fingers to my right temple, encountered anotherłs there.

I tried to raise my head. The hand would not allow it. The
scraping of that dry abrasive tongue upon my flesh ceased. I peered at the
circle of light that seemed to belong to the hands. After a time, it coalesced
into a familiar pattern of tone and feature, behind which the blackness
undulated queerly. I continued to peer. Then I knew what I saw, and closed my
eyes to the blur.

I heard an entwining of sound.

“Little one, look at me." It was a number of times he said
it, before I could disentangle his words from Santhłs plaintive mutterings.

I opened my eyes. The new dayłs light, bounding and rebounding
off the thinning foliage, played upon them like running water. Santh sat with
his forelegs tucked between his hind, his wedge-shaped head lowered, his ears
cocked askew. And before me also was Sereth, squatting down with his hand upon
my brow.

“Do you not think," I said slowly, “that we would all fare
better apart?"

“If I thought that," he said, “I would not be here."

“And how did you find me?"

“Santh."

“He serves you," I said, raising my head and letting it
fall. The world wheeled in stately procession, with my eyes as axis of its
languid rotation.

He laughed. “Ask him."

From Santh I received a greeting. And a question formed of
allegory. Hulion thought is not as man thought. They are not symbolizers such
as we. I saw a light she-hulion, and marked her as Santhłs mate. I saw her, and
him also, engaged in their mating ritual. And then, superimposed, the tawny
one, fleeing his dominion. And the thought was full with heat, and the courting
customs of his kind. If he had bespoken me as a man, the question might have
been: “Why do you flee him? Is it thus?" But it was a hulionÅ‚s question, subsumed
with acceptance and harmony, and the love of the chase.

I could not gainsay his truth. I turned my face into Serethłs
hand and wept, at last.

“There is much left undone," he said, his callused fingers
tracing my brow, “Sit up."

I once more lifted my head. The forest spun liquidly. I lay
back upon the mulch of moldering autumn, content to rest, with his hand upon me
and Santhłs mutters like settling rocks in my ears. It was beyond my power to
do more.

“Sereth," I said, “I cannot." I had spoken clearly. My own
ears heard the words loud and strong. But Sereth did not hear them. He leaned
close. I could count his lidsł lashes, judge the widened pupils of his dark
eyes.

“Speak again, ciÅ‚ves," he whispered, as the scar upon his
cheek took life and crawled off his face to encircle his neck like some hideous
band of restraint.

He put one palm over my eyes, his other cupping the back of
my neck. It was only then, as sensation, identifiable pain, coursed over me,
that I realized I had been without it. Now, as my back and ribs throbbed and my
left leg demanded attention, I was terrified, for I had not heretofore felt
them. My whole self shrunken inward with fear, I assayed the drawing up of my
damaged leg. I heard him grunt. He removed his hand from my eyes. Santh, paw before
paw, stretched himself full length, yawning.

“Where were you bound?" he asked. Now, only, was there trace
of anger upon him. It rode his voice, cowled in relief. With his aid I sat, my
left leg stretched out straight.

“I do not know," I said, regarding the swollen knee. Below
it was a bandaged gash, but that was of little moment. I put my own hands upon
it, closing my eyes. What I sought, I received. Under my palms the flesh cooled
and subsided. “I do not know," I repeated, folding the leg experimentally.

“We will meet Chayin," he said quietly. His gol-knife
excavated the mulch between his legs as he squatted there. “I will not be
pleased if you make such wanderings your practice. I know you have been long sequestered.
You will get enough destinationless wandering, across the Embrodming."

“If you would avoid my fatherÅ‚s service," I said to him, “do
not again take me up."

“We will go first with Santh. I have something to share with
you. Then to Astria. You may bring in your hest there. In Port Astrin we will
take shipChayinłs best, and a picked Menetpher crew. The men of Menetph are excellent
sailors."

“If it is your will," I said, putting weight gingerly upon
my left leg. Sereth and Santh rose as one. I looked between them, taking a
testing step. My work held.

“You can ride?" He disbelieved, critically.

And it was upon hulions, Santh and Leir, who was waiting
amid the trees, that we rode to that mountain holy place priested by hulions.
It is of their deity and deification, and not manłs; therefore the mountain has
no name. It is but one of many in that cragged fastness where no man dwelleth:
hulions rule the impenetrable west.

Upon the way there I learned that Sereth, through Leir, had
come to be held high among them. And that hulions, also, had taken a knowing
part in Khysłs destruction. They had willingly absented themselves from the Lake of Horns. It had been between them and Sereth decided: if thus-and-thus occurs, such
will be done.

From Santh I could coax nothing of reason or motive during
those two days. Nor would Sereth enlighten me, except to say that only selected
hulions ever frequented the Lake of Horns. His implication was that the hulions
gathered such intelligence as concerned them, while seeming to serve the dharen.
There is no way any of us will ever be sure.

“I care little for their reasons. I took the chance. It
proved lucky. They aided me, or I aided them. Or it was a coincident serving,"
Sereth had said, as I pressed him in the firelight that evening. But he had not
been angry. Little would have angered him then. Before his fire, he lounged
upon the chill ground as loose as the hulions stretched with their bellies to
the firełs warmth. Above us the full moon danced, impaled upon an audacious
peak. The fire showed me the easy inward smile upon him. The laughter rekindled
in his dark eyes that night, as if the flame cleansed his spirit. I recollected
that look, from when I had first known him in Well Arlet. And I began then to
fan within me the banked coals of my own faith. If he might find contentment
upon such a night, how much less could I show myself to be?

He had sought owkahen, and found it pregnant and new. What
he chose, he might now do, with the crux time clearing away. And he found no
shadowing upon it that troubled him, although I had found my ardor much damped
by what I myself had seen.

The storms grow upon owkahen. We saw them then. We feel them
now. But still, there is time. The ship rocks under me. The waves make a
wine-sot of my not-ever-precise handwriting. The seałs pitching has this past
set taken a different rhythm. Chayin says we will soon sight land.

There are various observations that I would like to make
upon what has come to be. But there remain certain outcomes, if such they may
be called. The cahndor maintains that little of life may be neatly tied up, and
even less of those particular events with which I have here concerned myself.

None will know, Chayin is sure, what disposition the fathers
made of Khys. And yet I saw him, when we sat with the hulions in their
cavernous temple. Luminous veins riddled the rock with greenish trails that
seemed to pulse. The only other light was that of their eyespair upon pair of
glowing pools, all shades from palest yellow to brooding red. Their rumbling, magnified
and returned to us by the subterranean vault, might have been that sound a
sphere makes, turning. I was visited, while kneeling among them therein, by a
number of truths. Among them was a sense of Khysłs presence. Since that time, I
have doubted his demise. Though for his sake I hope that he achieved it, that
passing he so concertedly sought, that inalienable freedom to which we are all
entitled. Those teachings he so venerated, those masters whose works he
emulated, bespoke it far better than I ever might: all come to the abyss, there
to partake of the definition of life, the catalyst death, that beginning toward
which all life labors.

Still, in my mind, he lives. Upon all of Silistra he
thrives, through the metamorphosis he has brought about. Where men erect yristera
boards and throw, is Khys. Where the children are conceived, does his spirit
rejoice. Upon the chalderłs anvil are his blessings ever forged. In the
Day-Keepersł schools and the Slayersł hostels and about the waists of wellwomen
and pan-breeders and weaponsmiths and pelters one may see him. Sereth weighed
him, and found him mad. It may be so. A relic from a long-dead age he was, in
truth. Those teachings that he gave unto us were not those that he had learned.
In a way, he was never of us, but only with us, he who was a Stoth priest even
before the holocaust. Perhaps, as said Sereth, he never truly partook of that
morality he taught. I have presented him, to the best of my ability, as he
presented himself to me. I make no judgment upon him. In accordance with that
Stothric tradition into which he was born, he lived. And in a Stoth manner, he
sought his death, not in flight, but as a fitting resolution to his life.

They judge me recovered from what he did to me. I wonder if
any of us might ever recover. That which one experiences is not other than
oneself from that moment ongoing. I no longer cringe when a hand is raised unexpectedly
within striking distance. I have made some progress in excising from my
behavior the fear and timidity he taught. But I yet bear his sign upon my
flesh, and in my heart also. If it were within my power, I would change his
ending, if it be death or confinement or the anguish I sensed when I knelt amid
the convened hulions of Silistra. Why they deserted his service and turned
their absence to Serethłs aid, I know not. Nor why they held service in his honor
and sat vigil for his spirit, do I know. Suffice it to be that such was the
casethat it was done, and I was present, and Sereth and Chayin were also
there. And we each gave up, in that cavern with the deep-throated hulion hymns
vibrating the stone upon which we knelt and the bones of our bodies, what
recollection we had of him, into a pool of communal reliving. And when that
pool had no bottom and no surface, when all ever known of him had been entered
therein, the hulions walked one at a time, with measured stride and solemn
demeanor, through the harvest of his years. When my turn came to enter that
darkened depression in the circled mid-cave, it seemed to me that I stepped
into cold, fast running water. Down the unsteep incline I proceeded, at each
step the tingling chill of immersion rising higher up my body. As I had seen
the hulions do, I stepped onto the down-spiraling ledge and followed its
ever-tightening course until I stood at the pitłs center. But I saw it not.
Rather did I see Silistra, her copses and groves, her precipices and seas. I
saw her burned and steaming, oozing foul putrefaction upon the land. And I saw
all those years of her tending, that she might once more raise bountiful eyes
to the sun.

And he came to me there. First it seemed he bestrode a lake
sheeted with ice. Across it, toward me, he came. The sun lit the ice tawny.
Where he lifted foot, deep tracks appeared, as if the fire of him melted the
surface beneath his flesh. And he held out his hands to me, his face becalmed
and peaceful, as the ice began to rumble and creak. With sounds like bones
snapping, in an air turned dark and awful with crackling chuckles, the surface
of the lake broke asunder. As if some great sea beast desired exit and beat
against the ice sheet from below, the cracks spread and heaved, whole chunks
the length of a man rearing up into the air and crashing down to smash what ice
remained. He danced, scrambling for purchase. With more than manłs effort, he
leaped and scrambled. I saw him fall once, feet first, into the ice. Hands, clawing,
seized the chunks afloat. He struggled upon one and lay there, his face turned
away. Beneath him, it crumbled. And I saw him swimming, first desperately, then
sluggishly, then a mere flailing of hands. And he met my eyes once with his.
And then he was no more. There was only the lake and the tiny crystals of slush
that floated gray upon the surface. That, and only that, was revealed to me, as
I sat with the hulions, of the fate of Khys, once dharen of Silistra.

Of my son, all that remains is a name: Jehsrae.

We went, upon the first first of Decra, by hulion out from
that place. It was a set later we stood upon the plain of Astria, Sereth and I,
unscathed, as I had so long ago hested. And indeed, I could not excise the
crawling, mewling wounded from my sight of that place, nor the corpses over
which they crawled. All around us I met the shades of our dead. We did not stay
long there among the helsars. The hulions had refused even to enter that place,
but waited past the stand of trees in which Sereth had secreted his archers to
await the closing of battle in Amarsa, Å‚695.

Chayin was first to speak it, but we were all, by then,
apprised of the need to be gone from the plain. As we had been of the need to
come, to offer our silence to those who had perished in our service, a thing we
had not been able to do that day.

We avoided, by my will, Well Astria. Let Vedrastłs daughter
reign there. It matters not to me. “Guard Astria, or you will lose it," had
written the Well-Foundress Astria in her warning. One should not go about
groping for the joys of youth to which maturity has made one unsuited.

Sereth, surely sensing my melancholy, led me gently from the
field. My eyes, upon my feet and his, saw here and there, among the browned
grass, helsars, awaiting those who would sometime claim them. It was said to me
once by the dharen that helsars have been provided for all ever meant to take
them; that a helsar knows no sequentiality, no waiting. To them, every man who
will come to claim them, every woman who will pilgrimage here, stand all
together upon the plain in one moment encompassing all of time. There must be
many still to come. Upon the plain of Astria are enough helsars to bestar
lavishly a virgin sky. Enough, perhaps, to make a necklace for a universe
mother, should such a she ever care to appear bedecked before the creator spirit
to whom she is in service.

I wondered briefly if Dellin and MÅ‚tras had come and gone,
or if it still remained for them to lessen the field of helsars by two. And of
what they would become, attendant to the helsarłs teachings, did I take
thought.

The hulions left us upon the outskirts of Port Astrin. I
made a blurry-eyed farewell to Santh, and wished his mate Tjeila a fruitful
birthing.

Sereth arranged with Leir a meeting for mid-Macara of the
new year after next.

Chayin sent his regards to Frinhar, watcher of the clouds,
whose eldest son had borne him hither.

We watched them in silence until they were only specks in
the greening sky. When a hulion departs, the world seems shrunken and muted.
Their perceptions, withdrawn, leave a flat and longing emptiness. They have the
oneness, the wisdom of creation, within them. They see it in the leaves, they
rejoice at its outcry in the thunderbolt as it carves its smoking likeness upon
the rock. They are not as we, and there is much we might learn, should owkahen
allow it, from Santh and Leir and their brethren.

I looked at Chayin, just turning away toward the twisting
anarchy of Port Astrinłs jumbled streets. He stared with narrowed eyes at the
city, then at his booted feet. Stooping down, he plucked a blade of withered
grass and sucked upon it. His marks of godhood were covered by the loose
sleeves of winter leathers. All in brown was dressed the cahndor, unassuming,
with just southern short sword and gol-knife at his waist. But I knew what weapons
nestled in the lining of his brown cloak, and even in the tops of his high
boots, for I bore the like about my own person.

“Here," said Sereth, holding out something in his hand. It
was a chald. Upon it were strands to which I was entitled. I took it, circling
it around my waist. When I had fitted the key in its housing, I saw Chayinłs
snap-membraned stare.

Sereth bore at his waist an arrarłs chald. But it was not
truly his, any more than that about my own waist was mine. And he might have
borne another chald, that of Silistrałs dharen.

Chayin spat upon the ground and rose up. “I will never understand
you," he spoke to Sereth. “You take up and put down chaldra the way other men
take up and put down women."

The cahndorłs first act upon addressing his triumphant
troops had been to rip from his waist the northern chald Khys had forced upon
him, and replace it with his own, feathered and trophied. As he donned his
southern chald, he bade each of his men do likewise. And he bade them also rip
as quickly from their hearts all amendments of their custom that had been
forced upon them. I had not been there, but I had heard tell of the cahndorłs
impassioned speech to the jiasks and tiasks of his realm.

“Chaldra," said Sereth, grinning, “is carried about the
spirit, not about the waist. And besides, would you have me cut down for chaldless
by the first Slayer we meet in the city?"

Chayin snorted. “Just the same, I like it not."

And I liked it no better.

“While Carth remains alive," said Sereth soberly, “I have a
right to this." He ran his hand along the supple chald nestled gleaming above
his weapons belt. “And Estri has surely earned the chald of messenger. You
would see us in southern chalds, I suppose."

“It would please me," the cahndor admitted.

“If your ship and your sailors are half as skilled as you
claim, we may live to collect some." He shaded his eyes with his hand, looking
out past the city, where the gray-green sky met the gray-green sea. The harbor,
from this vantage, was abristle with sharp-masted craft. “Let us get upon the
trail. I would be there and at a meal by dark."

Down the yellow-brown hills that sloped to the city and the
shore we went, cross-cutting to take the wide and well-kept thoroughfare that
led to the Well-Keepressł gate, so called because it offers northerly exit
toward Well Astria. The road, though there were some carts and one caravan
(from Galesh, surely; gaen-hauled wagons, tasseled and belled and enclosed in colored
silks, humped archeon packed to twice a manłs height with woven baskets, their
bottoms sagging with produce; the fruit smell wafting back to us, sweet and
sharp), was sparsely traveled, for such an enth.

And within the gate, at which we were not checked, but only
noted upon a wax tally by a portly guard who judged us unworthy of even a
two-eyed scrutiny, I saw more clearly what the loss of the star trade might come
to mean. Shops were boarded up. Men hawked off-world goods at ruinous prices in
the sandblown streets. Where MÅ‚ksakkan or Itabic or Torth legends showed upon
hostels and inns, those signs had been defaced. Perhaps a third of the
businesses were closed altogether. Port Astrin, more than any other place upon
Silistra, had made off-worlders at home. She, of all Silistra, would most
lament their departure.

“There seem an inordinate number of beggars," Sereth
remarked, silencing one mendicant in whining approach with a scowl that sent
him stumbling over his own rags into a doorway.

“Things will right themselves here," I said. Chayin put an
arm protectively about me as three raw-faced seafarers came by us.

We found an inn of Serethłs acquaintance that was not closed.
In the old section of the city, high over the harbor it rose, hulking blocks of
taernite so thick that not even the shifting coastline had been able to dislodge
them.

Over a meal that displayed the seałs bounty upon our table,
they spoke of ships and courses, of tides and straits and what might lie in the
uncharted waters between the Astrian coast and that shore of which none were
empowered to speak.

“We cannot keep calling it that," Sereth decided, slid down
low upon the padded bench, a pipe of good danne, courtesy of the innmanłs girl,
glowing red in his hand. “We are speaking about it all the time."

“Let us name it when we set foot there," proposed Chayin,
flashing his white teeth expectantly. “That is the way such things are done."

“The Keening Rock has a name. The shore upon which it sits
has a name. Might we not be presumptuous, planning to name a continent?" I said
it softly, my finger drawing the Keening Rockłs likeness in the wet rings the
kifra goblets had left upon the striped ragony of the round table.

The innmanłs girl took bellows to the fire against the
encroaching salt chill. By my shoulder, the cold panes sweated. The
calk-and-beam ceiling had depending from it brass oil lamps upon chains. She
turned to their trimming, from the fire burning renewed upon the hearth. Its
dance caught me. Within dance is ever story; within flame, glyphs of life. I
saw Khys there, his glowing eyes heavy-lidded, as he had been above that blaze
he had made upon the planet of his entrapment. And Sereth I saw, and the trail
to Santha. And all that had occurred since then: upon Miłysten; in the Parset
Lands; Hael dark beneath Raetłs likeness, underlit by chalderłs fire; the
flames of the helsar gate; the fiery agony of childbirth; and my trial at the
dharenłs hands. Then I saw hulion and uritheria. Father, give us respite. And
Gherein roasting in his sirełs flame. Free us from this blind striving in thy
name. And Kystrai, standing in a greater conflagration as if he stood beneath a
beneficent waterfall. Khys, my grief is never-ending. Accomplice inconsolable,
I stand bereft of even tears. Long had they lain in wait for you. I was born to
destroy you. Golden lashes, so long his eyes seemed oblong. You would have
fallen, then, without my betrayal, But I am the vessel of their chastisement.
The herb that will be ground and sold for poison of an old weak man for his
holdingscan the plant be adjudged guilty of the crime? If only you had gone to
them ...

“Estri?"

“No, Sereth. No more kifra." His arm goes around me, silent
comfort. He knows, but he will not speak of it. He is free from fear. I draw
peace from my head leaned upon him.

“And yet, I might speak of it," he said. “Or repeat it, at
least. Before the battle of Astria, you spoke it: we are it. Sełkeroth, I
thought for the thousandth time, and put the thought away."

Chayin pushed the kifra aside, leaning his elbows upon the
table. “Ä™Thrice denied and thrice delivered / Lost and bound and found and tempered
...Å‚"

“Ä™Sword of severanceÅ‚," I repeated, as Chayin broke it off,
that oldest of prophecies whose refrain was all too familiar. I pressed my nose
against Serethłs leathers. My eyes searched the fire. Khys and the anguish of
my life no longer burned therein.

“Did you know I was born in Nin Sihaen?" offered Sereth gravely.
Nin Sihaen, across the Karir-Thoss, is the most western city of known Silistra.
“Ä™One from the east, born of ease and destined / One from north of Lost and bound
and found and tempered Å‚"

“Ä™The third from out the west, astride a tide of death,Å‚"
quoted Chayin. He was not smiling. It is a long epic. All has been foreseen. We
all know that talełs end.

“A man thinks," said Sereth softly, “that it cannot be him,
as his life first bends to fit itself to some metaphysicianłs metaphor. It
cannot be me, I thought, at first with amusement and later with great fear. I
admit it. Those old forereadingsthey are detailed. The legendłs blade, it was
said, would be forged of substance from the Sihaen-Istet hills. It is told to
children in those lands. It was told to me, for I was raised there. And when I
set off to test for a Slayerłs chain, the town boys laughed and called me ęseeker
after severance.ł" I craned my neck to see him. His gaze rested in Chayinłs. I
had known his birthplace. I had never heard him speak of his youth.

I remembered a time in Nemar North, with Chayin, when I had
revealed to him that I was at war with his father, god of that land. And he had
named himself spawn of chaos. “Ä™Out of fearÅ‚s belly did I come,Å‚" he had said
then. I shivered.

“Ä™Son of dark gods, son of life / She between them blessed
with light,Å‚" I said. The words came from me slowly, involuntarily, as if
dragged up from some primal foreknowing spirit pit, like the child that knows,
in paralyzing realization, that this time that which lurks in the dark is no
phantasm, but the reality of which phantasmic monsters are but racial memory.

In the Sword of Severance, there are four ors. They are
concerned with a time of cleansing and rebirth come upon Silistra, indeed upon
all the universe. And it is concerned with the instruments of that cleansing.
And there is a sword, and a scabbard, and a hand to bear it. There are two men
and a woman. And there are labors the extent of which have these thousands of
years relegated the prophecy to the pertinence of epic drama.

“Some thought it fulfilled by the destruction of the surface
cities," Chayin said at last, uneasily shifting in his seat, as a brist might
ramp back and forth at the smell of men.

“Would that I could believe that," said Sereth. “If we make
this journey, we will know for certain."

“If?" I said, pushing away. I found my dry mouth in need of
kifra. I raised hand to the girl. Sereth slid down lower upon his spine. He
took his knife and with the blade cleaned his nails. The knife was all stra,
hilt and blade both. Its butt caught the firelight.

“If we do not return from that land, we cannot be they." A
log burst, snarling sparks.

Chayin rubbed his left bicep, upon which, under the supple
tas, was inscribed the slitsa wound about a recurved blade. His hand trailed to
his shoulder, stayed long at his neck.

A very small part of that prophecy I knew we had fulfilled.
Great harm had come upon Silistra from out of the south. We had come. We
had been, the three of us, responsible for more deaths by violence than are normally
written upon the Day-Keepersł Roll in twenty Silistran years. And we had done
it in little more than five. And the dying was not over. Those who tried the
helsarsa good number of them would die.

Perhaps as many as had died at the Lake of Horns. I hoped not. Over two thousand Parsets invested the Lake of Horns. They killed close to
their own number. More than a hundred of those corpses were children. I had not
been at the burning. There had been too many to bury. The corpses, piled high,
had been fired. A number of the restrained had thrown themselves, alive, onto
those pyres. None moved to stop them. It had been Chayinłs order that those who
were in lifelong restraint not be interfered with in any way. For those still
living, there can be but little comfort.

“Carth," said Chayin, “led the ceremony himself. Supported
by two of his arrars, for he could not stand alone, he led the lake-born in
prayer." He had turned to Sereth, smiling. “I think you were right about him."
Another log burst. Chayinłs recollection of the pyres blazed bright before me.

“I hope so," said Sereth, who had laid the dharenÅ‚s chald
into Carthłs hands, along with his life and the Lake of Horns. Certain terms
had Sereth and Chayin dictated to Carth, highest living of the dharenłs council.
Those terms, Carth almost gratefully accepted. He ruled in regency for Sereth.
The focus of his efforts was to be not the reconstruction of empire, but the fortification
of the law within. As Khys, in his youth and brilliance, had envisioned
itbefore ego and power and hardship stripped him of his objectivitySereth
would have it become. Sereth asked no alteration from Carth in the teachings of
his masteronly that those teachings be put truly into practice. Before Miccah,
the high chalder, oaths had been sworn. And Sereth had taken up an arrarłs
chald for himself, and one for me, and instructed Miccah as to their alteration.

And Carth had shaken his dark head, from which great clumps
of hair had been singed away, and his demeanor had turned darker, but he had
not spoken. He lived, spared by their mercy. That had been made clear to him.
And yet he seemed to me not servile. Sereth, toying with arrarłs chald, had
regarded him questioningly.

“Have you something to say?"

Carth, lying propped up against the austere wall of his own
small keep, said, “Am I to exercise your authority as I see fit, or as I might
conjecture that you would see fit?"

Sereth looked at him in that very chill countenance of his,
Chayin shook his head as if his ears deluded him, that such impertinence and
impropriety could come from a man who by all rights should have burned with his
brothers. “What I want," said Sereth very quietly and at length, “is no more
than minimally difficult to understand. Since it is unacceptable to everyone
but me that there be no dharen upon Silistra, and since I have no intention of
staying here and being dharen, it falls to you. I can kill you, and it will
fall to someone else. I would rather not. Be dharennot as I might see fit or
you might see fit, but as best serves Silistra. Keep a light hand upon her. Aid
as best you can the helsar children; school them, counsel them, but above all
keep cognizant of them. Teach restraint. Let the time go its own way awhile,
that owkahen will settle ..." He broke off, unwound one hand from his chald,
brushed hair from his eyes with it. The wound upon his skull was nearly healed.
He frowned briefly at Carth, “If I thought you really did not know what was
needed," he said softly, as if disappointed, “I would use another. How we
regard each other matters little at this time. You may think what you will of
me, as long as it does not impair your judgment in my behalf. If you need me,
send word. I will receive it."

He rose up. “And recollect this well: it is to the south you
must send in your need. Then, only, will you suffer any northerner to set foot
there. Should there be any reprisals, we will in truth tear these buildings
down, stone from off of stone, and Silistra will live beneath the beneficent
hand of the chosen son of Tar-Kesa."

Carth had turned away, though movement was costly to his
bandage-swathed body, humped but hardly hidden beneath the couch clothes.

It was to Miccah he twisted. The white-haired high chalder,
his seamed face distraught, hurried to his side. They whispered together. A
cloud begrudged us even the slatted light streaming weakly through the six narrow
windows.

Chayin motioned Sereth to him. They also conferred. It was
this that had brought us to the lakeside so soon after Khysłs reliving. I had
little attention for the moment that day. My flesh was racked with chills, and
I could not more than huddle in this corner or that. So did I attend it, Carthłs
assumption of the dharenłs chald, a set time after I had run from Sereth and my
guilt. For better or worse, Carth, who had been once crell in the pits of Nemar,
would rule from the Lake of Horns. On Brinar fourth fifth, 25,697, did a
hase-enor, and a telepath, take up Silistrałs care.

The silence was long. Neither Sereth and Chayin, nor Carth
and Miccah, seemed anxious to break it.

“Excuse him, lords." Miccah straightened at last. His chins
puffed as he worked his mouth. Confronting their austere authority, his message
would not come forth.

“Excuse him," he sprayed. Tiny bubbles formed where his lips
met. His eyes darted here and there in their bloodshot milky pools. “I beg you.
Carth has no more strength for words. In his last breath, he bade me tell you
he will humbly and to the best of his ability carry out your will." The words,
springing forth all together in a jumble, were nearly unintelligible. Mouth
agape, Miccah waited, hands thrust deep into his hide apron, feet wide and
figure swaying. Still half in shock seemed Miccah, and yet grieving for the dharen.

Chayin, arms folded over his chest, looked at Sereth meaningfully.
Then both turned to Carth, who lay in his body like a yra of binnirin grains in
a two-stone sack.

“Is that what he said?" queried Chayin innocently.

“Yes," affirmed the high chalder.

We can only hope that Carth will keep his proxyłs promise.
What he does is done in Serethłs name.

 

“SeÅ‚keroth, SeÅ‚keroth, direel bÅ‚estet SeÅ‚keroth," growled
the cahndor, as the girl served me kifra. His eyes measured her as she leaned
over to pour. She had evidently spoken to me. I had not heard. I had been with
flame, once again.

“She is not yet well," said Sereth, half to the innmanÅ‚s
girl and half to Chayin.

“Would you want three chambers, Se ... arrar?" I heard her
through the sea pulse, breaking upon the jetties and my eardrums.

“Two," Chayin said, “with access between."

Serethłs shifting, as he dug dippars from his pouch, was
more immediate. I resettled myself against him.

“Re Dellin has been here, and left instructions that he be
the first to know should you happen this way." Under his gaze, she preened herself,
patting her hair with a sturdy wrist.

“When?" Sereth was tense-stiff, his quietest.

“Just this rising," she murmured, deferential, “if it should
please you, arrar."

“And if it should not?" he snapped.

Sereth tossed three coins. The third was titrium half-well.
The girl smiled, eyes lowered demurely, Chayin twisted around in his seat as
she bent to take them. She brushed against him. She hesitated, her breast
against his shoulder, her fingers upon the coins. “Should I send him word,
then?" she asked.

“No," said Sereth.

“SeÅ‚keroth, indeed," I whispered as the girl withdrew and
gave me back view of the hearth. Others entered then, to dine and chase the
salt chill from their bones.

My fingers found the arrarłs chald at my waist, and a
certain knife that was sheathed upon the parrhide belt. In its hilt was a
single gol drop. It had been given to me by Sereth, upon Mount Opir. Or its mate had. He had commissioned them, both alike, when I had been accounted dead.
The gol drops in their hilts had been gift to us from a golachit we had aided,
high in the gollands of the Sabembe range. Khys had taken them from us. We had,
upon rediscovering them, learned the faithfulness with which the weaponsmith
had followed the EbvraseaÅ‚s intention: “Tempered and made the same, so that one
may not be told from the other, Sełkeroth."

At length, we each took one. There was no telling them
apart.

The fired blade must be quenched in ice. We would not reach
the eastern shore much before winter solstice, first first of Orsai.

I sat up, away from Sereth. Chayin looked at me, pensive, expectant.

“There is no proof. Beware use by prophecy in search of fulfillment,"
I warned him, knowing that if any could have warded off such forces, that one
was no longer among us. He caught my thought, for he glared at me severely. I
shrank back, upon reflex, from his displeasure. Then straightened. I had made
no secret of my hesitancy to undertake this, or any, journey. They had both
separately informed me that a time of peace and reflection was not in the sort.
I think, rather, it is not in their natures.

The cahndor massaged that old wound, often his prelude to
speech. It has long since ceased to pain him, but the habit remains. He seemed
on the verge of comment when the innmanłs girl again approached. With her she
bore a rolled documentdocuments, actually two, the larger serving as post
around which the smaller had been wound. Then the whole, the larger, orangish
fax, diapered with bone-white parchment, had been bound up in a strip of tas,
upon which the Liaisonłs device was stamped in gold. One newly seated guffawed
over his mug, across the room. His fellows joined in.

It lay upon the striped ragony, amid the wet rings and
crumbs of our meal.

Sereth only regarded the girl, who without breaking her
silence laid two brass keys beside the tas-bound tube.

She seemed to quiver all over, like a startled crier poised
upon invisible wings above some scum-choked pond. “He said," she gave forth at
last, “that if you would answer Ä™no,Å‚ I was to give you this." Her eyes had
swelled to the size of copper dippars. She seemed flesh-locked, under his
scrutiny.

“And you have done so," he said, tossing his head. The
movement seemed to free her. She staggered slightly, like one who, long pushing
upon some aged, recalcitrant door, stumbles forward in surprise when at last
rusted hinges recollect their task. And like that door her retreating steps
were jerky, as if she had long forgotten her bodyłs command. She drifted
between the tables, toward the men seated by the far wall.

None of us spoke for a long while. I looked after the innmanłs
girl, now wiping her brow like one come out of a fever. She had seenwhat? She
did not know: a glowing, as of eyes more than mortal; two great beasts, abattle
beneath a sky transformed; a room of seven corners, in whose center a spiral
bound a woman in flame. She trembled. It ran from her head downward like a
dorkat shedding water. It was a mark, only, she had seen, some odd bejeweling
upon the foreign woman. I pulled my mind away, my fingers finding that device I
still borethe Shaperłs seal, and Khysłs most audacious statement of disrespect.
He had appropriated it, as he had mimicked their councils and assessments. If I
chose, I knew, I could divest myself of it. As yet, I have not done so. Upon a
certain scale, it has value, as does even the most painful of remembrances, and
on another, I have a right to bear it. And no move so simple as removing the dharenłs
device from my flesh will erase from Chayinłs mind, or Serethłs, or mine, what
Khys, in his battle against the fatherłs will, chose to do with us. What will
they say of him, those like the woman who still regarded me across the innłs common
room? And of us? Will we be turned by the ineluctable chroniclers of events
into liberators or villains? Those for whom such wars are waged have not yet
breathed their first breaths, had said Chayin to me. And yet, the validity of
Khysłs sphere of restraint, the helsarsł final testing, the loosing of the
lake-born onto Silistra all loom imminent; as in Sełkeroth, they approach, bringing
with them that judgment of which all words will speak. Such as she would see a
legion more of us, all bearing in our genes the legacy of Khysłs bestowal.

“What think you of this," rumbled Chayin, poking once at the
missive, then again, each touch pushing the tube closer to Sereth.

“Ä™And all the worlds of creation hearkened, and some even
lent their hand unto the task. Let them be blessed,Å‚" I recited dully, as
Serethłs stra blade severed the tas, halving the Młksakkan seal. The parchment,
with a will of its own, uncurled from about the longer tube of fax and lay like
some cornice upon the ragony.

He pulled it out, spread it flat. His elbows on the table,
he scanned it. Then he put his head in his hands. After a time I took it from
him.

When I had read it, I passed the parchment to Chayin. It had
taken up water from the table, and some of the words blurred indistinct as if
they would disappear from the page. A wayward gust howled down the flue. The
lampsł flames cowered.

Dellin played his part well. After greeting, his message was
sparse of words:

 

My appreciation for my life, and that of my world, also.
Notwithstanding, I must, while I do live, perform my function. Enclosed find
maps and intelligence pertinent to that journey which I have been informed you
will undertake. It is my hope that you will accept them in the spirit of the
giving, and take heed to my requests.

Be those men and women you seek alive, I ask you to return them
unharmed to us. It is upon me to discipline my own people. MÅ‚tras, or I, or
both, would most willingly accompany you, that they be bloodlessly apprehended.

I have long been charged with the care of Tyithłs son. I could find
no way to broach the subject under those circumstances you must well remember.
I am bound unto that duty. I do not seek relief of it, but inform you lest you
learn it from another and mistake my silence for ill intention.

Presti, młit tennit. I will be at the Harthłs Nest upon the Street
of Greaves until Decra third first."

 

And at the bottom, above his seal, he gave Sereth tasa.

Chayin threw it. It sailed upon a current, to drift to the
floor by my foot. Sereth raised his head and reached for the fax.

What had the serving girl seen upon us? She who now leaned
against the hearthside, what could she have known of us? Were we so set apart
now, that any could see it?

And Dellin, who knew little enough of Silistra that the
whole extent of his knowledge might rattle around in some childłs thimble, how
came he to serve owkahenłs will?

“Will you see him?" asked Chayin, his eyes devouring the map
of that land which no Silistran cartographer had ever charted.

“No, I have what I need."

His voice echoed, forlorn, up from the abyss. I touched his
arm. He took me in under it. We gave each other warmth there, as one can in
certain moments when the barriers between spirit and spirit turn thin with remembered
grief.

It has passed now, that aching time for us. The sea has
salved our wounds. We have found new ways to look upon each other, freed from
the shades of loss.

He has said to me, so soft, holding me in the night with the
worldłs womb rocking us gently, that he would not have it otherwise, that he is
content.

Chayin bespoke it: If owkahen, or prophecy, or the fathers use
us, what of it? If we come to be such instruments, we shall do so of our own
will. So is it, always. It is the self that predestines, the mind that compels.

Khys fell to Estrazi, knowing that he would. As long as he
fought them, that long did he create his own ending. A man, disoriented,
running at dusk in the forest, circles and comes at last to that same
brist-shaped rock from which he first took flight. Had he gotten me with child
and presented me pregnant to my father when first I set out to discharge the
chaldra of the mother, it would have fallen out the same. Did he know, then,
all or only part? And how goes such choosing, upon what scales might such
decisions be weighed?

Might we come to learn, upon this shore, of such burdens?
Perhaps. It was Khysłs will that we come here. He took time to put his affairs
in order. He designated his successor. In deference to some rhythm heard by his
ears only, he passed from us. We must seek what we may.

Sereth and Chayin have sought, assiduously, in endless evenings
of debate, some way to unify those lands which between them they hold. And they
have forged, I think some basis upon which such a dream might be built. Upon
the crell system, and the fate of chaldless in the north, they have shared much
thought. No, they have not wasted this peaceful interlude, and in time all of
Silistra will taste of its fruit.

In no respect has it been an uneventful journey, but those
whim-spawned attacks of nature have tithed from us no life. We have seen no
other ship, nor sign of man.

Where the currents run warm, not here, surely, the sea
abounds with life. There is a beast, slitsalike, that we have named sinetra-ełstet
(night shiner). They travel in groups hundreds strong. One full-moon night,
Sereth called me up to see them. Their rubbings against the boat had not prepared
me. They were as glowing waves upon the sea. One could have walked upon them,
so thick were they, their coils shimmering unnamed hues over the waves. They
average thrice the length of a man. Their fanged heads seem all jaws and
streamers. We caught a small one. The streamers, a fringe around the head and
upon the dorsal side, look silken soft. They are barbed and poisonous. I was
well relieved when we passed from their domain, and glad all that time for the
stra plating of the Aknetłs hull and her warshipłs protection. Less glad I am
for the likeness of uritheria at her prow.

Here it is cold, and the snow lies thick and deep. We will
sail the coast south, seeking a more clement port. But they had to behold the
rock, to stand there, that they might hear its soundings. Winter solstice is
two days gone. We will not hunt MÅ‚ksakkans until spring.

At night the sky is alive with light, behind the Keening
Rock of Fai-Teraer Moyhe. This far north, Sereth has assured me, such displays
are not unusual. He and Chayin are as children, eager to tramp the woods and
find what lives within. And beyond.

Last night, tiring of the night skyłs festival, he came to
me, earlier than has become his custom.

“Cold chase you in?" I said, putting down the work I had in
hand. I had known by the step upon the stairs. I pulled the brist pelt around
me.

“No," he said, ducking his head in the narrow stairwell.
Even bundled in heavy cloak and fur-lined boots, his movements flowed like fast
brook water. Stooping lest he bang his head upon the crossbeams, he threw off
the cloak and cautiously, with a glance upward, straightened up, his hand at
the small of his back. “I came to get you out from here, and away from your
accursed reminiscences. When the world freezes as cold as Fai-Teraer Mohye, you
will be still at it. And forever left at it, hunched over your scribbling. Had
I known, when I took you from Khys, of this more insidious rival, I might not
have bothered." This last he grunted as he lifted me bodily from where I sat.
His fingers upon my arms were icy shards.

Still holding me against him, he plucked a page at random
from my pile. I wriggled, away from him and his chill leathers. “Is this,
truly, what you think of me?" he demanded.

“Let me see it," I said, feeling the flush crawl up my
cheeks. “Yes," I admitted. Not before had he taken interest, muttering that as
long as I did what he required of me, my free time was my own. And little
enough he allows me. Daily I must face him, and often Chayin, with what weapons
they choose. Under their tutelage, I have become much improved. And dhara-san,
also does he require of me, that toning of the body which I have long
neglected. “Yes," I repeated.

Not releasing me, he put down the page and took up another.
Humor tugged at the corners of his mouth.

The ship rode a deep swell, setting the oil lamps depending
from the beams aswing.

He pulled me with him down upon the slab that serves us for
couch in our cramped cabin.

“You said all of this," he accused, while the scattering
shadows steadied, “yet you have not said what is important. Child of owkahen,
am I? Of my mother and father, so they swore while they lived." He relinquished
the page and lay back, his hands under his head.

“And what is important that I have not said?" I asked,
twisting upon the narrow pallet. “I have spoken of SeÅ‚keroth. I have not left
it out."

He groaned as if in agony, and put one hand over his eyes. After
a time he spread his fingers and stared through them.

“SeÅ‚keroth, yet. That, little one, was a tale spun of danne
and kifra, the maunderings of two men between battles. That is all. Come here."

Fitting to him, my cheek upon his shoulder, I felt it,
beneath the thin cushion that makes pallet of two unyielding boards. “Yet you
keep it," I said of the blade secreted there. I well recalled it, that stra
straight-blade; its hilt, inlaid with titrium wire, carved from a single fire
gem; its length and scabbard chased with the Shaperłs seal. And it bears, also,
engraved into the blade, a legend in Miłysten. And I recollected that moment I
had first looked upon it; and that refrain I had been humming when I closed my
fingers upon its hilt, come to me, unbidden: Sełkeroth.

He shrugged. “I kept your couchbond chald. Those two things
are little enough to take, from such wealth as rests at the Lake of Horns." He
rose up on one elbow. His lips touched my closed lids, then my temples.

“And what, then, have I not said? What is important?" I whispered,
locking my arms around his neck. His eyes saw deep within me, took pleasure
there.

“That such moments as these are made precious," said he,
solemn, his breath hardly a breeze upon my cheek, “by what we spend to acquire
them. Without suffering and adversity, how would it go? Where would be the
sweetness? And whence would come triumph, but out of loss? We create them, ciłves.
The only injustice is that, too often, we forget what we have done."

“I think I have said that," I whispered, pulling myself up
to meet his lips. “But I would gladly add any words of yours."

“Say, then, that we are all bound, the highest no less than
the meanest."

So I say it to you, as he said it to me, from the shores of
which none are empowered to speak.

 

first third Orsai, 25,698

Appendix 1

The quotations made by Estri, and by the cahndor and dharen,
come from the third ors of Sełkeroth, or what is called the arcane cycle. It is
in the final section of this work that the line “Thrice denied and thrice delivered"
signals Laorełs passage from the factual to the allegorical, a journey which
was to subsequently cost him his life. The application of current events to
such a critically obscure and castigating document was as inevitable a
development then as it still remains; in such a work, where a mirror bright and
clear is created by the author, that the self of the reader may shine forth,
interpretation remains in the mind, potential of the reader, ever transmutable,
evanescent, a primary example of LaoreÅ‚s postulated “Differentiating Unfixed."

It is not the authorłs purpose here to attempt to determine
the validity of the Sełkeroth legend, nor to put forth any new theories as to
what allegorical meanings are contained therein. Too many similar projects have
been undertaken, and the resultant confusion from such a large number of theses
(each redolent with biases and politicized to serve its creatorłs particular
postulates) no more needs another fragmentizing interpretation than the fathersł
fire needs oxygen to burn. The intent here is only to outline the legend as
Laore propounded it; and thusly as Khys believed it, that we may consider the
extent to which the dharenłs actions were affected, indeed at times dictated by
and predicated on this belief,

The kernel of the Sełkeroth legend is thus: the sword was created
from the substance of Silistra by a Superior Entity, presumably an agent of the
fathers, in the dawning age of toolmaker-man. (The primary Sełkeroth legend was
rendered in the tongue ascribed to the seed-sowers, Silistrałs first written language.)

Sełkerothłs magical nature ensures its possession by those
chosen catalytic personalities that shape each ensuing age, all of whom undergo
rigorous purification before the sword falls into their hands, at which time
the blade is “retempered and quenched in ice." He who wields SeÅ‚keroth is himself
that weapon, is himself wielded by the same power which transmutes the gross
into fine. Sełkeroth, or the artifact believed to be this fabled blade, has
been clutched in the grasp of every man who has catalyzed a “change of ages."
It has drunk the life of those visionaries responsible for Silistrałs three principal
spiritual schools: “by their death gifting them with life." The blade has been
borne into every Silistran civilizationłs history by one hero or another, even
managing to insinuate itself into the mechanist wars under the aegis of the
dharen Khys.

It was precisely this cyclical manifestation that so
concerned Laore, and motivated him to chronicle in his four-volume epic the
momentous changes, spanning nearly the whole of Silistran prehistory, that the
various agents of Sełkeroth had wrought; and to predict the exactitudes of a projected
cycle extending ten times as far into the ages to come, even including those
long periods of dormancy upon which Khys based his macrocosmic approach in his
own work on Sełkeroth.

Knowing so intimately the work of Laore (it was Khys who
initially created a schism in the Laonan church by his reinterpretation of the
great adeptłs teachings, and who subsequently shaped the Stothric priesthood
into the force it was destined to become), it is no wonder that Khys structured
the impending change of ages in such a way as to make Sełkeroth both the instrument
of his own death and projected martyrdom and to ensure its reception by Sereth
crill Tyris, his chosen successor not only to know Silistra but also to those
shores of which none were heretofore empowered to speak.

The similarity between Khysłs death and Laorełs cannot be
denied, but it is Khysłs conscious effort to evoke congruency which bears the
greatest import. Laore predicted his own death by SeÅ‚keroth, “at the hand of
one who will by this act seek to discredit me," and true to his word, the
manner of his execution was decreed primarily to cast upon him and his
teachings a taint of evil. Sełkeroth in its best understood function being
designated as the inculpator of iniquity, it was thought by the tribunal that
its use as the weapon of Laorełs execution would disprove his claim of sonship;
instead, it raised him to a pinnacle of veneration never equaled by any other Silistran
individual. Khys explored at great length in his papers the influence Sełkeroth
held in his decision-making. He was not unaware. In his own annotated Ors Yristera
are various assignments of the prophecies contained therein to specific individuals,
dates, and occurrences. Among these are interleaved much more detailed
prophecies, often with mathematics appended, and one concerning the mode of his
passing and what significance might be derived therefrom. Beside that page
there are three dates, one being Brinar third fourth, 25,697, the actual date
of his demise.

Appendix 2

A biographical sketch of the dharen Khys, born Khys Enmies,
pre-hide year 2831, presents certain problems, not the least of these being the
sheer volume of noteworthy accomplishments with which he is credited, coupled
with the fact that most of the fertile periods of the dharenłs life have been
elsewhere chronicled to a depth not even to be attempted in this brief sketch.

His birth, 760 years after the demise of Laore at Fai
Teraer-Moyhe and 738 years from the publication of that onełs Forewarnings,
was the source of great tribulation and scandal to the prestigious Enmies
family. Khysłs mother, Ismarah, after enduring ten years of psychiatric
treatment (demanded by her spouse, Braese, and ceded him by the courts after an
interview with the lady in question, during which she refused to recant her
insupportable position that the son she bore was not Braesełs, but rather of
supernatural siring), was remanded into the care of the Stoth priesthood, whose
dogma she embraced with ever-increasing fervor until her suicide in 2149, on
the day following Khysłs eighteenth birthday. Khysłs father, twice respoused
since the judgment of incurable insanity against his first mate, at that time
applied considerable political pressure to regain custody of his son from the
Stothric church, but to no avail. Ismarah, though adjudged unsound of mind, had
delayed her lifełs termination until the boy had reached the age of consent,
until, in fact, she had witnessed Khysłs assumption of his Laonan vows and his
consecration as a Stoth neophyte.

It was possibly this attempt upon BraeseÅ‚s part to “secularize"
his firstborn and force the boy into assuming the responsibilities of the
Enmies fortune that resulted in Khysłs dramatic assignment of his considerable
inheritance to the Stothric priesthood upon his lay-fatherłs death, which
occurred in a sudden and catastrophic yachting accident that killed not only
Braese but all other claimants to the Enmies wealth exactly five years after
Khysłs motherłs passing.

It was at this point in time, Cetet, 2154, that the youthful
Stoth initiate made the acquaintance of the Darsti-trained Gyneth Frein and her
brother Wialer, the former to become, six passes later, his life mate, and the
latter his coexperimenter and confidant during those years of Khysłs absorption
with the life sciences that laid the foundations for their joint discovery of
the Silistran serums just prior to Haroun-Vhass.

Upon that discovery, the Stoth priest, now fully confirmed
and entered into his adeptship, went before the Mechanist Union with a proposal
to distribute the drug, which retards deterioration of cell generations and
extends the number of such replications per organism as well as conferring
extensive immunities, throughout the thirty-seven nations. The Union, caught up in its wars and facing seemingly endless famines and profligate
overpopulation, not only refused to embrace the project but pressed through an
injunction against private distribution of the serums outside of the Stoth
hierarchy itself, allowing this exemption for two reasons: firstly, the serums
had already been distributed within the Stoth priesthood, which was to a great
extent a static, nonreproducing population (the schism of the Laonan faith,
though already pronounced, had been contained by those concerned; the
replicating priests had been neither excommunicated nor denounced, and by such
time as this move was contemplated, Haroun-Vhass aborted its completion); and
secondly, the Union feared the power of the Stoths, who had not declined to
infiltrate the power structures of the Mechanist Nations.

In all things, the Laonan faith had retained sovereignty
over itself and its doings; if she had not done so, I would not write this
today. Exempt from secular law and court proceedings, freed of all tithing
obligations to state, bolstered by such economic bestowals as Khysłs own gift
of the Enmiesł transnational cartels, it was the Stoth brotherhood which
conceived and constructed the hide system. None else could have accomplished
it, gained the waivers of right-of-way, claimed the exemptions to tax that made
the project economically feasible, and coordinated such a gargantuan
undertaking. Left to any secular force, the underground life-support complexes
would have aborted, lain fallow under miles of factionalism and profit-loss,
perhaps languishing half-completed, a final mute memorial to the race of man,
untenanted, while Haroun-Vhass destroyed us all.

During that period of intense and single-minded
concentration, Khys and his mate grew distant. Gyneth, childless by choice, had
not chosen to embrace Khysłs reinterpretation of Laorełs teachings; she clung
to the old ways, the celibacy, the fatalism, of the conservative Laonans;
though Stoth and eligible, she refused the serums, and by so doing refuted the
work of both her brother and her life mate. Thus it came to be that she stood
on the one side of the schism and they on the other. Because it would have been
a repudiation of her own faith to break the life-mate bond, she did not dissassociate
herself from Khys, nor seek quarters elsewhere, but their relationship grew
greatly strained, disintegrating entirely when Khys and Wialer together
contrived to surreptitiously administer the longevity serums to her. From that
time onward, though she lived in close contact with her brother and cohabited
Khysłs bed, she spoke no word to them other than those simple exchanges
necessary to maintain civilityindeed, up until the onslaught of the Final
Passes, when Khys set off with Wialer and some few others to regain Sełkeroth
from across the sea, she kept her silence.

Upon their return, triumphant, they found a note ceding her
hide place, to which was appended a short and heartfelt prayer for their erring
spirits. She took nothing, she left no trace, she merely disappeared among the
multitudinous doomed.

Khys from that time ongoing took no woman in couchbond until
the advent of Estri, choosing instead to instigate the common-holding practice,
by which means he produced close to a hundred children.

His treatment of Estri, though harsh by Silistran secular
standards, was neither unusual nor unconscionable by the pre-hide Laonan
doctrines into which he was born, but rather an attempt on his part (despite
her unknowing state) to enter her into the Eleventh Embrasure of dhara-san,
that transcendent sexual ritualization that Estri refers to as the “hermaphroditic
match," and to which, perhaps understandably, she failed to respond. His notes
upon this subject are extensive. He felt that by this means alone could he
elude the fathers who so assiduously stalked him. His predictions as to the results
should he fail to achieve such a match were borne out to the letter. Among
these was Meditation on the Nature of Death, from which comes the
following quote:

 

... the violence of expulsion from the womb, the first blow that attends
the drawing of breathhow may we know these things? What is thought, while
wombbound, of the terrors soon to be faced: the beginnings of life? Perhaps
there is a correlate here; the violent entry into flesh, and the precipitous
evacuation of it, might these seemings truly be only a diversity of expression
of the same principle? For myself, I must conceive it not as the Final mystery,
but the penultimate. Come early, come late; come with expectation and
preparation; come empty-handed and guileless like a child; all come to the
abyss, therein to partake of the definition of life, the catalyst death (.)
which ends one sentence even as it signifies the beginnings of the next. And
if, perchance, some will adjudge me overanxious, then let it be so. Those
answers I seek can no longer be found in this flesh that trundles me about like
some faithful beast of burden; and like that fleshbeast, though it might at first
resent idleness enforced and run the length of its pasture peering over the
fence at the young beasts come laboring down the road, thinking all the while
of its years of service rendered, craving the feel of harness once more chafing
its hide, it knows, in its heart of hearts, that strength spent is
irretrievable but as interest accrued in memory. And might he not then turn his
head from that road, and sniff with white-haired muzzle along his own joints,
worn past renewal, and wonder at it all: that which has gone and that still to
come, and therein find a road whose twists are never-ending and whose
boundaries elude the vision free of fence and gate? I shall see.

 

at Estriłs request: Carth

Glossary

S = Silistran St = Stothric Y = Yhrillya P = Parset

 

archeon:
(S) A splay-footed, cursive-horned herbivore, the archeon prefers swamp and
marsh and is the indigenous Galeshir herd beast. Larger than denter but smaller
than gaen, the archeon thrives both in a domesticated state and wild in
prodigious numbers among the wallows and sedges so prevalent along the southern
Karir-Thoss. The Galeshir highly prize the archeon, and lavish upon their
beasts all manner of consideration. A man of Galesh, when assessing the
substantiality of a stranger newly met, looks first to his archeon and the
opulence of its fittings.

archite:
(P) Beryl-toned igneous rock, often veined with gold or blue, which takes and
retains a high-gloss finish and is prevalent in decorative stonework and in
statuary. Archite ranks with ornithalum as the most prestigious of
architectural stone, and is widely employed in Silistran administrative
structures, as well as in the homes of those of means.

Cetet:
(S) The nineth pass of the Silistran calendar.

chald:
(S) (Stothric: spirit-bond.) A belt of chains commonly soldered around the
waist.

ciłves:
(S) A small furred predator common in the Sihaen-Istet hills and in Nin Sihaen
itself, where it is not unusual to find three or four ciłvesi in a household.
There they earn their reputation as talismans, keeping their mastersł holdings
free of slitsas. Although the ciłves makes an elegant and devoted pet, and also
by its very odor discourages the establishment of yit colonies in keeps that it
prowls as its own, it is this natural antipathy to slitsas that has earned the
ciłves its place in the hearts of the Sihaenese, for whom the slitsa is a
ubiquitous and often deadly peril.

Coryf-denne:
(C) The Coryf-denne entered provisionally into and at length withdrew from the
Bi-pidal Federate Trade Union upon the grounds that insufficient similarities
in physiology and culture context outweighed whatever potential value existed
in the “satiation of curiosity and mentality between two such diversely evolved
intelligences," thereby grouping all the Bipedal Federate members into one
phylum, at which point further attempts to dissuade them were discontinued by
unanimous vote.

Decra:
(S) Twelfth pass of the Silistran calendar.

Dydian
chromatic: (S) The Dydian chromatic derives from the Silistran Parent
Scale, that tonal organization from which the diverse scales and tonalities
used in Silistran music are sprung:

Parent Scale

However, as may be obvious, the
Parent Scale is not a key center from which diatonic relationships can evolve.
Native Silistran songs are based on “randomly" selected, mathematically
arranged notes (Scion Scales). One of the most common of these Scion Scales is
the Dydian chromatic:

Dydian chromatic (derivative)

Dyri-yiil:
(S) A Central Clusters resort world, possessed of four small atmosphere-Dealing
satellites who circumnavigate her while she in turn negotiates a stately figure
eight about the two stars that share her attentions.

Fai-Teraer
Moyhe: (Stothric: Cove of Resurrection; literally, fai, to begin again;
teraer, birfh; moyhe, inlet.) The physical characteristics of Fai-Teraer Moyhe
as delineated in the text fit with exactitude those of the fabled spot upon
which the adept Laore was disemboweled after being convicted of necromancy,
heresy, and sedition; and from which he rose whole of form seVen days later to
begin the dialogues with his waiting adherents, which were to form the bases of
Stothric thought in the ages to come. It is legend that upon his reemergence
from the sea, he looked about him and the proponents of his faith numbered only
forty-two. Of these, only half remained through that first night, the fainthearted
being frightened away by a terrible keening that came out of that moonless
darkness, and of which Laore said: “What you hear is the last sound and the
first. Go if you will, but know that from this place there is no escape, but
only return, and from this song no respite, but for the deaf and the dead." And
upon the sunłs rising, those who had accepted on faith Laorełs explanation woke
to find that he had spoken the truth, for they saw before them the pierced
spire of the Keening Rock, about whose base were strewn forty-two severed ears,
struck off each pair by its ownerłs own hand as prelude to their crazed and craven
flight.

hase-enor:
(S) “Of all flesh," the purported goal of SilistraÅ‚s long-standing
genetic-mixing policya homogeneous single race,-one whose genealogy includes
every bloodline still manifest upon the planet; a thoroughly admixed
individual.

hest:
(S) To bend or twist natural law to serve the will; to command by mind; to cause
a probability not inherent in the time to manifest. (The line between hesting
and shaping is somewhat difficult to define when highly skilled individuals are
concerned. The rule of thumb is held to be thus: if natural law must be remade
or totally superseded, as in creating a permanent object such as a fruit or a
star, one is shaping. If one is simply controlling an already existing object
or event, as would be the case if one caused a fruit or star already in existence
to alter its behavior but not its structure, one is hesting. The fruit or star
one moves to the right or the left or higher in the sky by will would not have
behaved in that fashion, but is still the same star or fruit as was a natural
inhabitant of the time before the hest was applied. If one, on the other hand,
creates fruit or star, one has brought into the time, by a suspension of
natural law, that which heretofore did not exist. One shapes matter. One hests
time.) In usage, bringing in a hest, affecting probability.

Haroun-Vhass:
(Stothric: fall of man.) The cataclysm precipitated by Silistrałs thirty-seven
mechanist nations; according to Laore, the final cleansing of the “prehuman"
protomen. (“From the bowels of the earth will the race spring forth anew, freed
of all self-aggrandizement that has gone before. He who harnessed the wind and
despoiled the seas and neutered the earth will perish by his own handin truth,
he will fall from the skies over which in delusion he has prematurely claimed
sovereignty."Forewarnings, pre-hide year 2093.)

ijiyr:
(Y) Yhrillyan tonal synthesizer, possessed of both strings and keyboard,
allowing multiple attack and wave variation, even to a self-contained phasing
and digital delay capability. Formerly displayed electronic synthesizers (the MÅ‚ksakkan
and Torth devices) have held little fascination for Silistran musicians, their
bulk and complexity emphasizing their distant and, for some, putative
propinquity with musical instruments as Silistrans are willing to conceive
them. The ijiyr, however, self-contained, compact, and versatile, has evoked interest
in many circles. The Musiciansł Seven have, at the time of this writing,
entered into negotiations with Trasyi of Yhrillya to acquire, on loan, this
instrument for further study.

krit:
(S) A tree-dwelling, furred Silistran mammal. Krits “fly" from branch to branch
by launching themselves into a spread-legged glide, facilitated by the webbing
or flaps of skin that connect its four six-toed appendages. A fruit-and-nut
eater, the krit, whether bush-, yit-, or stub-tailed, hibernates in winter.
Weather diviners and woodsmen alike profess to be able to adjudge the length
and severity of approaching winter by the kritsł autumnal preparations.

lake-born:
(S) An individual procreated according to the guidelines set down by the dharen
Khys in an attempt to stabilize “desirable traits"; in effect, those
double-bred and inbred scions of the Shapersł spawn. It is not unusual for a
lake-born to be able to count among his progenitors two or three of Khysłs own
children, or even two parent connections to a single dharener or council
member.

litir:
(S) The ubiquitous Silistran stringed instrument; usually possessed of
thirty-two frets (but sometimes fretless). The scale length, body configuration,
and octave range of litirs vary greatly, the inclusion into this class of instrument
being determined by the presence of a soft-wood sounding board joined to an extended
neck from whose tip strings of metal, web, or gut are stretched. The one
differentiating factor between the class litir and its cousin, rissir, is that
a rissir must be bowed, while a litir may be plucked or struck, but never
sounded by use of another device that is stringed; hence, a “standing rissir"
and a “standing litir," though to eye and ear not dissimilar, are considered by
musicians only distantly related.

luricrium:
(S) A highly malleable, ductile metal, grayish black in color, used as a
catalyst in metallurgy (luricrium salts) and in jewelry, luricrium is highly
conductive and considered “rare," although it occurs naturally in deposits of
up to 10 percent purity in those areas previously exposed to high-intensity
fission reactions.

Nin Sihaen:
(S) Silistrałs most westerly city, Nin Sihaen lies above hide crill, amid the
Sihaen-Istet hills, beyond the Karir-Thoss river. From the Sihaen-Istet, she
receives stra ore and some gemstones for trading, but remains (as she has been
since her founding), a self-contained economy, as much because of her
inconvenient and isolated location as from any conscious or predicated attempt
on the part of her Well-Keepress to maintain her dependent city in its
reclusive, hermitical posture.

oejri-anra:
(Parset: “returning of moons.") A method of casting razor-moons which obliges
the weapon to describe a circle and return to the hand that cast it. The object
in oejri-anra is not to embed the razor-moon in the target, but to touch-strike
with sufficient force to mark, but lightly enough not to alter the moon-casterłs
trajectory. The greatest difficulty of the game is not, as might be expected,
encountered in causing the razor-moon to perform in the desired manner, but in
reclaiming it without harm to onełs own hand. To this end, thick parr gauntlets
with stra-armored palms are often used while honing onełs skill. In
moon-castersł circles, however, use of these protections in actual competition
is considered an admission of cowardice, a negative assessment by the
moon-caster of his own prowess. (The type of razor-moon used in oejri-anra is
without exception the crescent; only a fool would put a returning cast on a
full disk.)

ornithalum:
(P) An igneous rock, cerulean to azure in tone, quarried almost exclusively in
the southern regions. Prized both for its permanence and its beauty, ornithalum
remains the most prestigious material (exempting gol) for structural art.

Orsai:
(S) The first pass of the Silistran calendar; the pass of winter solstice,
which occurs either on first first or on first second Orsai.

razor-moon:
(S) Although the variations of razor-moons are extensive, we will discuss here
the two major types: the full disk, or one-way razor-moon; and the crescent, or
returning.

The full-disk razor-moon, like its
cousin the crescent, may be made of either steel or stra. It is in general
smaller, never exceeding a handłs width in diameter. The central thickness of
the full disk may be up to fifty times that of the honed outer edge, which has
no “grip" or blunt area by which the moon may be caught or grasped, making it,
unlike the crescent, a weapon against which there is little or no defense. The
full disk is an exceptionally lethal weapon, and in competition is never cast
against an opponent, but only at an inanimate target.

The crescent moon, sharpened along
every edge but the outermost central mid-curve, varies in size but is seldom
smaller than the full disk or larger than twice that in diameter. Because of
its “returning" qualities, it is favored for competitive sport but seldom used
in combat situtations, where one runs the risk of finding onełs own projectile
caught by the enemy and launched back upon the caster.

Razor-moons remain basically a
boot-sheathed weapon, although some moon-casters have lately begun bearing them
in arm-scabbards that hold five or six of the smaller variety strapped to the
forearm.

Sełkeroth:
(St) The legendary blade of which Laore wrote, and with which, by all accounts,
he was slain. The premechanist legend of the sword of severance differs quite
markedly from the four-volume epic the Stoth adept produced in his youth, and
which was later used as evidence against him in his trial and subsequent
condemnations, but it is Laorełs version, subsumed with revolution and revelation,
that is quoted in the text. (See Appendix 1.) The blade itselfSełkeroth of the
fire-gemmed hiltwas reclaimed by Khys at great personal peril in the last pass
before the onset of Haroun-Vhass. With six lesser priests, he crossed the
Embrodming and liberated the sword from the Brinjiiri Laonan Museum, in the midst of that enemyłs capital. The escapade has never been subject to procedural
documentation, but Khys, who in many respects emulated Laore both in his life
and his death, risked his hide-place to acquire the blade, which he believed was
the genuine artifact. His own research and attempt at documentation of the
swordłs authenticity is extensive and available under the title Sełkeroth:
The Motif of Catalysis.

“SeÅ‚keroth,
direel

błestet Sełkeroth":
(St) “SeÅ‚keroth, light from out of darkness by the sword of severance"; the
legend said to be inscribed upon the blade of that fabled weapon; an ostensible
simplification of the aphorism “reduction/resolution" that pervaded early
Stothric attempts to deduce the relationship of substance to matter.

Sihaen-Istet;
(S) Those hills said to be the birthplace of mankind, once in mid-continent,
but since Haroun-Vhass the continental perimeter; the western shores.

sinetra-ełstet:
(S) The sea denizen discovered by the Menetpher vessel Aknet on her journey to
the eastern wilderness; a prognathic sea sfitsa, venomous and luminous, that
abounds in the northeastern Embrodming.

sort:
(S) (n.) The probabilities inherent in a specific moment of time; those
alternate futures available to one trained to seek them.

sort:
(S) (v.) To “sort" probability; to determine in advance the resultant
probabilities from postulated actions.

taernite:
(S) A variety of the mineral SiO2, brown to red-brown in color; an
attractive and proliferate building stone, of little worth upon Silistra, but
highly prized by some B.F. planets where silicon strata is not common.

Yhrillya:
(Y) A provisionally entered planet presenting auditing of the B.F. worlds,
possessed of a highly advanced mechanist culture about which little is known.

zesser:
(S) A leafy green vegetable with a high sodium content, zesser grows close to
the ground in round heads and prefers stony soil in a temperate climate.

Silistran Calendar

pass of winter solstice Orsai

Tisera

Cai

Macara

Detarsa

Jicar

Finara

 

pass of summer solstice Amarsa

Cetet

Enar

Brinar

Decra

Sisaen

Laoral

 

 








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