Heinlein, Robert A Successful Operation


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Successful Operation
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FOREWORD
For any wordsmith the most valuable word in the English language is that short, ugly, Anglo-Saxon
monosyllable: No!!! It is one of the peculiarities in the attitude of the public toward the writing profession
that aperson who would never expect a free ride from a taxi driver, or free groceries from a market, or
freegilkwoks from agilkwok dealer, will without the slightest embarrassment ask a professional writer for
free gifts of his stock in trade.
This chutzpah is endemic in science fiction fans, acute in organized SF fans, and at its virulent worst in
organized fans-who-publish-fan-magazines.
The following story came into existence shortly after I sold my first story and resulted from my
having not yet learned to say No!
 Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.
 L. Long
SUCCESSFUL OPERATION
 How dare you make such asuggestion! 
The State Physician doggedly stuck by his position.  I would not make it, sire, if your life were not at
stake. There is no other surgeon in the Fatherland who can transplant a pituitary gland, but DoctorLans .
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 You will operate!
The medico shook his head.  You would die, Leader. My skill is not adequate.
The Leader stormed about the apartment. He seemed about to give way to one of the girlish bursts of
anger that even the inner state clique feared so much. Surprisingly he capitulated.
 Bring him here! he ordered.
DoctorLans faced the Leader with inherent dignity, a dignity and presencethat three years of  protective
custody had been unable to shake. The pallor and gauntness of the concentration camp lay upon him,
but his race was used tooppression .  I see, he said.  Yes, I see . . . I can perform that operation. What
are your terms?
 Terms? The Leader was aghast. Terms, you filthy swine? You are being given a chance to redeem in
part the sins of your race!
The surgeon raised his brows.  Do you not think that I know that you would not have sent for me had
therebeen any other course available to you? Obviously, my services have become valuable.
 You ll do as you are told! You and your kind are lucky to be alive.
 Nevertheless I shall not operate without my fee.  I said you are lucky to be alive  The tone was an
open threat.
Lansspread his hands, did not answer.
 Well I am informed that you have a family...
The surgeon moistened his lips. His Emma they would hurt hisEmma. . . and his little Rose. But he
must be brave, as Emma would have him be. He was playing for high stakes for all of them.  They
cannot be worse off dead, he answered firmly,  than they are now.
It was many hours before the Leader was convinced thatLans could not be budged. He should have
known the surgeon had learned fortitude at his mother s breast.
 What is your fee?
 A passport for myself and my family.
 Good riddance!
 My personal fortune restored to me 
 Very well.
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  to be paid in gold before I operate!
The Leader started to object automatically,then checked himself. Let the presumptuous fool think so!
It could be corrected after the operation.
 And the operation to take place in a hospital on foreign soil.
 Preposterous!
 I must insist.
 You do not trust me?
Lansstared straight back into his eyes without replying. The Leader struck him, hard, across the
mouth. The surgeon made no effort to avoid the blow, but took it, with no change of expression....
 You are willing to go through with it, Samuel? The younger man looked atDoctor~Lans without
fear as he answered,
 Certainly, Doctor.
 I can not guarantee that you will recover. The Leader s pituitary gland is diseased; your younger
body may or may not be able to stand up under it that is the chance you take.
 I know it but I am out of the concentration camp!
 Yes. Yes, that is true. And if you do recover, you are free. And I will attend you myself, until you
are well enough to travel.
Samuel smiled.  It will be a positive joy to be sick in a country where there are no concentration
camps!
 Very well, then. Let us commence.
They returned to the silent, nervous group at the other end of the room. Grimly, the money was
counted out, every penny that the famous surgeon had laid claim to before the Leader had decided that
men of his religion had no need for money.Lans placed half of the gold in a money belt and strapped it
around his waist. His wife concealed the other half somewhere about her ample person.
It was an hour and twenty minutes later thatLans put down the last instrument, nodded to the
surgeons assisting him, and commenced to strip off operating gloves. He took one last look at his two
patients before he left the room. They were anonymous under the sterile gowns and dressings. Had he
not known, he could not have told dictator fromoppressed. Come to think about it, with the exchange of
those two tiny glands there was something of the dictator in his victim, and something of the victim in the
dictator.
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DoctorLans returned to the hospital later in the day, after seeing his wife and daughter settled in a first
class hotel. It was an extravagance, in view of hisun
certainprospects as a refugee, but they had enjoyed no luxuries for years back there he did not think of
it as his home country and it was justified this once.
He enquired at the office of the hospital for his second patient. The clerk looked puzzled.  But he is not
here.
 Not here?
 Why, no.He was moved at the same time as His Excellency back to your country.
Lansdid not argue. The trick was obvious; it was too late to do anything for poor Samuel. He thanked
his God that he had had the foresight to place himself and his family beyond the reach of such brutal
injustice before operating. He thanked the clerk and left.
The Leader recovered consciousness at last. His brain was confused then he recalled the events
before he had gone to sleep. The operation! it must be over! And he was alive! He had never admitted
to anyone how terribly frightened he had been at the prospect. But he had lived he had lived!
He groped around for the bell cord, and, failing to find it, gradually forced his eyes to focus on the room.
What outrageous nonsense was this? This was no sort of a room for the Leader to convalesce in. He
took in the dirty white-washed ceiling, and the bare wooden floor with distaste. And the bed! It was no
more than a cot!
He shouted. Someone came in, a man wearing the uniform of a trooper in his favorite corps. He started
to give him the tongue-lashing of his life, before having him arrested. But he was cut short.
 Cut out that racket, you unholy pig!
At first he was too astounded to answer,then he shrieked,  Stand at attention when you address your
Leader!Salute!
The man looked dumbfounded, then guffawed.  Like this, maybe? He stepped to the side of the cot,
struck a pose with his right arm raised in salute. He
carrieda rubber truncheon in it.  Hail to the Leader! he shouted, and brought his arm down smartly. The
truncheon crashed into the Leader s cheekbone. Another trooper came in to see what the noise was
while the first was still laughing at his witticism.  What s up, Jon? Say, you d better not handle that
monkey too rough he s still carried on the hospital list. He glanced casually at the Leader s bloody
face. Him? Didn t you know? He pulled him to one side and whispered.
The second s eyes widened; he grinned.  So? They don t want him to get well, eh? Well, I could use
some exercise this morning 
 Let s get Fats, the other suggested.  He always has such amusing ideas.
 Good idea. He stepped to the door, and bellowed,  Hey, Fats!
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They didn t really start in on him until Fats was there to help.


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