CHAPTER ONE










TO
LOVE AGAIN

CAROLE
MORTIMER

 

CHAPTER ONE

 

CHRISTI
stared in horror at the
man who took up most of the
open doorway to her flat, holding her hands up defensively. ęWhatever you do, donłt come
in here!Å‚ she warned fiercely.

To her
chagrin he smiled, although he made no effort to
come further into the room. ęWhat are you doing on the floor?ł he drawled
unconcernedly.

Christi came
up off her hands and leant back on her knees. ęIoh, no!ł she groaned as a
brown and grey
bullet entered the room, finding herself almost knocked over as the tiny creature leapt up and down in front of her face, trying to lick her nose. ęNo,
Henry.Å‚ She desperately tried to
still the movements of her excited Yorkshire
terrier. ęHenry Oh, damn!ł She gave in with a resigned groan, taking the
dog into her arms to receive the ecstatic greeting.

ęHełs
missed you.Å‚ Lucas made the understatement
mockingly, grinning his amusement as Christi gave him a censorious
frown.

ęIłve
only been gone a couple of days,Å‚ she dismissed distractedly, her
attention once again on the carpet in front
of her now that Henry had calmed down enough to sit relatively still in
her arms. ęTake him, will you?ł She reached
out to hold the dog up to Lucas. ęBut
donłt come any closer,ł she warned as Lucas strode forcefully into the
room, having let himself into the apartment
with the key she had given him.

He gave a weary sigh, coming to an
abrupt halt. ęMake up your mind, Christi,ł he
said drily. ęEither I can come in, or
I canłt. Is there a man in your bedroom?
Is that it?Å‚ He quirked dark brows interestedly.

Christi shot him a look that clearly
told him the question was beneath contempt. ęI
happen to have lost a contact lens


ęNot again,ł
Lucas groaned impatiently. ęLast time you lost one of them it was down
your

ęI know where it was,ł she put in hastily, blushing.

ęWell, have you looked
down there this time?Å‚ He looked speculatively at the creamy perfection of
her cleavage, which was visible above the open neckline of her blouse. ęI could always help you if you havenłt,ł
he flirted easily.

That was
the trouble with Lucas; he flirted with lazy ease,
having a constant stream of women in his life, who seemed to remain his
friend even after the relationship had ended. He and Christi seemed to have
skipped the first part and gone straight on to the
friendship, Lucasłs teasing of her just that. It was
rather depressing to be thought of as just a ępalł by a man like Lucas! Everyone she had ever introduced him to had envied the fact that she actually had him living in
the flat next door to her own. And that wasnłt so surprising, for Lucas was devastating to look at; tall and dark, with piercing grey eyes that could
be dark with laughter or glittering silver with anger, his body of the type that looked beautifully
elegant in the superbly tailored suits he wore, or obviously masculine in the shorts he wore when he played tennis. He possessed a sense of humour that enchanted, a honeyed charm that enthralled, and a raw
sexuality that acted like a magnet to any woman in the vicinity.

But he was also thirty-seven to her
almost twenty-two, and had taken her under
his protective wing since she had moved into this flat almost four years
ago, acting more like her uncle than her real
uncle did! He had also helped her find her missing contact lenses more times than she cared to think about, had taken care of her pets when shełd been away, and had fed her lemon juice when she had been flat out in bed with a cold, doing a good impersonation
of Rudolf! No wonder he had never
looked on her as anything more than ęthe
kid next doorłshe was the
kid next door!

ęJust
take Henry, will you?ł She sighed her irritation. ęI havenłt had the best of weekends, and if I canłt
find my lens I wonłt be able to go for that audition this afternoon.ł

Lucas held the dog lightly in his arms
as Christi resumed her search, her two
Siamese cats entwining themselves about his long legs. He reached down
to absently stroke Josephine and Gladys, straightening
as Christi gave a triumphant cry, holding
the truant lens as she scrambled to her feet to put it in before it did
another disappearing act.

He frowned
as she turned to face him. ęI thought you were looking forward to spending the
weekend with Dizzy and your uncle.Å‚ He spoke
slowly. ęTherełs nothing wrong with the baby, is there?ł he added,
concern in his voice.

Christiłs
expression instantly softened. ęLaura is the most
beautiful, contented Ä™

ęThe baby is fine,ł Lucas drawled drily.

ęlittle love I have ever seen,ł Christi finished proudly.
ęShe has lovely golden curlswhich is only to
be expected when Dizzy and Uncle Zachjust Zach,Å‚ she amended with a
grimace. ęHe finally got around to telling me
I can call him that, now that hełs
been married to my best friend for almost a year,ł she derided. ęBut, with both of them being so fair, Laura
was sure to be blonde herself,Å‚ she completed her earlier statement.

Lucas
looked pointedly at her ebony hair. ęThey canłt all be blondes in your family.ł

ęThe
Bennetts are,ł she nodded. ęYou know I got my colouring from my mother.ł
She experienced the usual sadness she felt whenever she thought of the wonderful parents she had lost four years ago, the
two of them on an archaeological dig when it had capsized and buried
them beneath tons of earth.

She
hadnłt been quite eighteen at the time, and remembered
that the birthday she had spent with her
Uncle Zach had been a miserable time, both of them numbed by the accident that had left them the only two remaining members of their family. Her
uncle had been distant from her then, a remote professor of history who seemed
to live among his books. Falling in love with impetuous madcap Dizzy had changed all
that, and when he wasnłt amused by his young wifełs antics he was bemused!
But, four years ago, Dizzy had been a
long way from entering his life, and
the two of them had found little to
say to each other to ease the pain of their
loss. Lucas had helped to ease her pain more than her uncle had, had
held her as shełd cried bitter tears, had sat
with her as shełd brooded in silence, had
taken her out on picnics and walks when it seemed she would finally come out of
the dark tunnel of depression her parentsł deaths had caused.

Their
friendship had grown from those months of anger and
pain shortly after she had moved in here; it was a friendship Christi knew she
would find it hard to live without now, and she dreaded the day one of those women in his life
became more than lover and then friend, sure
that another woman wouldnłt welcome
Lucasłs friendship with her into their married life.

She wasnłt conceited; as an actress she
had been taught to evaluate her looks, to
know her advantages and her limitations, and shoulder-length ebony hair, enormous sparkling blue eyes, straight nose,
and widely curving mouth, tall and curving body, added up to quite a few advantages. No other woman was ever going
to believe there was just friendship between
herself and Lucas! She wasnłt sure
she believed it herself, considering how sexually attractive he was, having had more than her own share of men
in her life. But friends they were, and it
was a relationship they were both comfortable with. Certainly neither of
them was willing to risk
what they had for what would probably amount to a few
days or weeks of being lovers.

ęSo what was wrong with your weekend?ł

She frowned,
concentrating with effort, her frown turning to a scowl as she thought
over Lucasłs question. ęDizzy,ł she began in a barely controlled
voice, ęin her role as aunt and new mother, has decided that itłs time I settled down myself

ęWhat?ł Lucas said incredulously.

ęOh,
yes,ł Christi confirmed disgustedly. ęLast year, Dizzy and Zach were worried because I didnłt go out with anyone for more than a month, and now theyłre
worried because I havenłt seen anyone for six months!ł She shook her head.

ęElm,I
wondered about that myself Ä™

ęDonłt you
start,Å‚ she warned, moving automatically to the kitchen to get her
pets some breakfast as they all milled about her legs, Lucas
having put Henry
down long ago. ęIłve been concentrating on my
career the last six months,Å‚ she firmly informed Lucas as he came to
lounge in the kitchen doorway.

He nodded. ęNevertheless, itłs been
pretty quiet around here lately,Å‚ he mocked.

Christi gave him a look that clearly
told him she didnłt appreciate his humour. ęItłs
a pity the same canłt be said for
next door,Å‚ she returned waspishly,
referring to the party he had held on the eve of her departure to the Lake District to visit her uncle and
Dizzy.

ęOuch!ł
His eyes laughed at her. ęI did ask you to join us,ł he reminded, not in the least perturbed by her complaint, knowing it wasnłt justified, for
his parties were never of the ęloudł variety.

Her bad humour faded as quickly as it
had come; she hadnłt really been angry.
People who really knew her, and Lucas
was one of them, knew that she was
slow to anger. But when she did lose her temper it was best to take
cover as soon as possible!

ęIt
sounded like fun,ł she conceded ruefully. ęBut I had an early start Friday morning and I didnłt want to be
overtired.ł She gave a heavy sigh. ęI wish now
that IÅ‚d never gone! Oh, it was lovely seeing Laura for the first time, and IÅ‚m always pleased to spend time with Dizzy and Zach

ęBut?ł Lucas
prompted softly, taking out the cups to pour them both a cup of coffee from the
pot, with the ease
of familiarity.

ęThanks,ł
Christi accepted absently. She drew in a
deep breath. ęBut,ł she sighed again, ęDizzy had invited three of what she
called "eligible" men for the
weekend, too, for me to look over!Å‚ she concluded disgustedly.

Lucas just stared at her, his coffee-cup
held unwaveringly in one slenderly masculine
hand; for once, the articulate
businessman, who could make a success
of any company he chose to take over, was completely struck dumb.

Christi
couldnłt blame him; she had been more than a
little speechless herself when Dizzy had calmly
introduced the three men as their other weekend guests! If she had met those men
under any other circumstances, she probably
would have found each of them as
interesting as Dizzy assured her they were, but as the only female guest
among three attractive men it had been
instantly obvious what Dizzy was up to. Much as she loved her best
friend from childhood, she could cheerfully have strangled her when they had all sat down to lunch and shełd found
her attention demanded by each man in turn. Dizzyłs
intent was about as subtle as a sledgehammer,
and Christi had spent a very embarrassing
three days trying to fend off three fascinatingly
attractive men. Some would have said she
was mad to even try. Most would have known she had failed miserably when she had returned from the traumatic weekend with separate dates to see
each man again! Dizzy had been completely
unconcerned by Christiłs embarrassed
protests about what she was up to, reminding Christi of a conversation
they had once had about Christi advertising
in a magazine for her ideal partner,
sure she had as much chance of
finding him that way as she did with any of the men she had dated so
far. It had been a light-hearted conversation,
made completely in fun on Christiłs side,
but Dizzy had obviously taken it seriously. While her marriage to Zach,
and his obvious disapproval of such a
ridiculous idea as advertising in a magazine, had been a foregone
conclusion, Dizzy had done the next best thing as far as she was concerned,
picking three men out of her close acquaintance that she was sure Christi would
like, inviting them all together for the
weekend, and sitting back to watch the results. The result had been
that, after months of not dating anyone, Christi now had three different men to
see in the next week! She grimaced as she saw
Lucas was still staring at her. ęYou
can close your mouth now,Å‚ she taunted,
feeling the first stirrings of amusement over a weekend which at best had been awkward, at worst downright
uncomfortable! He did so slowly, sitting on
the side of one of the bar stools that
sided her breakfast bar. ęDizzy seemed
like a sane woman the one and only time I met her, when she married your
uncle.Å‚ He spoke dazedly.

Christi
grinned. ęYou saw her on a good day, on her best behaviour.ł

He shook his
head. ęHas no one ever told her that the custom of choosing a husband for a female relative went out
of style years ago?Å‚

Her smile
widened. ęSomething as trivial as that isnłt likely
to stop Dizzy once she makes her mind up to an
idea,Å‚ she dismissed ruefully, having years of experience to base her claim upon.

Lucas whistled softly through his teeth.
ęSo, what are you going to do?ł

Embarrassed
colour darkened her magnolia cheeks. ęIłm seeing Dick on Tuesday,
Barry on Thursday,
and David on Saturday,Å‚ she revealed reluctantly.

His mouth twisted. ęThatłs certainly showing Dizzy that she canłt push you around!ł

ęI was in an awkward
position,ł Christi defended. ęIłd like
to have seen you come out of it any differently.Å‚

ęMy dear Christi,ł he drawled
derisively, ęno one pressures me into going out with someone Iłd rather not.ł

Her
irritation increased, for she knew full well that a man
like Lucas, who had remained single since his divorce several years ago,
wouldnłt be forced into doing anything he didnłt want to do. But he was different from her, had a way
of getting what he wanted, and away from what
he didnłt want, without anyone
challenging his right to do so. That
arrogance seemed to be a part of his nature he, and other people, took for granted; she just didnłt have the
same determination.

ęI
actually liked Dick, Barry and David,Å‚ she told him defensively.

He pulled a
face, perfectly relaxed now that he was over his first surprise. ęDick, Barry, and David who?ł he
drawled.

ęDick
CrosbyDizzyłs agent,ł she supplied a little
resentfully. ęIłve met him before, of course, since Dizzy began working as a freelance illustrator. Barry is Barry Robbins, a friend of my unclełs from his university days, who apparently put his studies to use in directing films in Hollywood,ł she added challengingly as Lucas looked
unimpressed.

Ä™IÅ‚ve heard of him,Å‚ Lucas nodded dismissively. Ä™Hm,Å‚ she acknowledged irritably; the tall, blond‑ haired director was handsome enough to have
appeared in his films rather than remaining
behind the camera.

ęI think I met Dick Crosby, at least, at the wedding,ł
Lucas remarked thoughtfully.

ęPossibly,ł she
dismissed. ęI believe Barry was unable to get here in time.ł

Because it
hadnłt seemed suitable to take a man to her uncle and Dizzyłs wedding that she probably wouldnłt see
again a couple of weeks later, she had asked
Lucas if he would accompany her instead. She had been thrilled when hełd
accepted, proud to have had such an
attractive man as her partner for the day.

ęJust
think yourself lucky you werenłt one of the men chosen by Dizzy as suitable for me,ł she told him disgustedly.

Lucasłs
mouth quirked. ęI wasnłt "chosen" by her because
Iłm not suitable as far as youłre concerned.ł He tapped her playfully on the
nose. ęIłm far too old for you, even if Iłm not quite old
enough to be your father. I think I certainly qualify for
the role of a much
older brother,Å‚ he added drily.

ęMy
uncle is fourteen years older than Dizzy,Å‚ she defended.

ęAnd
theyłre obviously deliriously happy together,ł he nodded. ęItłs always
the ones who are happy who are trying to pair everyone else off,ł he explained at Christiłs questioning look. ęBut it
isnłt very often these spring and
autumn relationships work out.Å‚

ęI think of Zach and Dizzy more as early
summer and late spring,ł she protested. ęI do know theyłre the best thing that ever happened to
each other,Å‚ she added indulgently, never having seen
Dizzy quite so confident of herself, nor her uncle quite so lighthearted, as they had been since they had fallen in love
with each other.

ęYou havenłt told me who
the third man is yet,Å‚ Lucas reminded softly.

Because she had been saving the best
until last! ęDavid Kendrick,ł she revealed
a little triumphantly, knowing he had
to be impressed by the last man. ęZachłs publisher.ł

Dark brows rose appreciatively. ęI know
him quite well,Å‚ he nodded slowly.

It didnłt
surprise her in the least that David and Lucas should know each other; in fact,
she remembered them talking briefly at the wedding last year, David acting as
Zachłs best man. As businessmen, Lucas and
David had a lot in common, both seeming to have the Midas touch, their
interests diversified but, without exception, successful.

ęI have to agree with Dizzy about him,ł
she said softly.

ęWhy not Barry Robbins?ł Lucas shrugged.
ęYou said hełs a film director, and youłre an
actress, so maybe hełll be able to help your career.ł

Her mouth
tightened. ęI donłt believe itłs done that way any more!ł

Lucas looked at her frowningly, then his
mouth twitched with amusement as her meaning
became clear, and finally he grinned openly. ęI meant if you were his
wife, of course,Å‚ he said innocently.

ęOf
course,ł she said sharply. ęBut isnłt that leaping into the future just a little?ł she derided. ęI only have one date with the man. I certainly donłt need
you matchmaking, too!Å‚

ęSorry,ł
he grimaced. ęI must try and remember that
big brothers are for protecting you from big bad wolves like those
three.Å‚

Christi
sighed, not appreciating his humour at her expense
at all. She didnłt find anything about the
situation funny. ęEnough about my weekend,ł she
dismissed briskly. ęHow did yours go?ł she asked interestedly.

His humour
instantly faded, a brooding look in his silver-grey eyes. ęMarsha didnłt
bring the children
over until Saturday morning,ł he revealed bitterly. ęClaimed Daisy had a
temperature the day before.Å‚

Christi gave
him a sympathetic grimace. Lucas and his ex-wife didnłt get on, and
after she had met the brittly shallow woman a couple of times it wasnłt too
difficult to understand why a man as warm and charming as Lucas should find
his ex-wifełs grasping and manipulative nature highly distasteful.

Oh, Marsha hadnłt always been that way,
he had assured Christi. In fact, the two of
them had been quite happy together
when they had first married and
produced first Robin and then Daisy. But, with the progression of their marriage, so had Lucasłs success increased, and also Marshałs wants and ambitions.
For the sake of their children, Lucas had given Marsha everything she asked
for; he could afford it, so why not? Their
marriage seemed to have survived only by Lucas giving and Marsha taking during the years. Until the day Marsha realised she could go on taking without having to remain
married to Lucas.

Lucas had skimmed over the rocky years
of his marriage to Marsha, playing down the
difficult parts, enthusing over what
a joy the children had been to him and
Marsha both. It had been Marsha who
had told Christi, in her brittle way, just how ęhellishł she had considered her marriage to Lucas to be,
initially completely misunderstanding the friendship that existed between
Christi and Lucas, warning her sharply of the
dull life she could expect to lead if she became seriously involved with
Lucas. Marshałs life as Lucasłs wife had
sounded far from dull to Christi, and
her words more the fretful complaints of a spoilt woman.

As far as
Christi could tell, Lucasłs real regret at the
breakdown five years ago of his four-year marriage was that his children had been
left in Marshałs care, that he was only able
to have seven-year-old Robin and six-year-old Daisy on the weekends and
holidays Marsha agreed to let him have them.

It didnłt seem right to Christi that
such a woman should have the care of Lucasłs children but, as he himself admitted, he had never been able to criticise Marshałs ability to be a mother to their two children.

But that caring didnłt extend to the
inclusions of bothering herself unduly about
the feelings of the man she had dismissed so easily from her life once his wealth made it possible for her to still live
lavishly without the restrictions of a husband, and so she didnłt hesitate to
callously let him down when he was
expecting to see the children, always having a perfectly valid excuse for doing so, of course, so that there
should be no legal repercussions.

Christiełs
heart ached for how much Lucas missed having his children with him all
the time, how each time he saw them they seemed to have grown up a
little more, achieved new things he had no sharing
in. It was only the fact that Robin and Daisy seemed so well adjusted to the
situation that prevented him being more
bitter about things than he was.

But by the
sound of it Marsha had been up to her usual tricks this weekend, seeming
to take a fiendish delight in upsetting Lucasłs plans for spending
time with his children. Christi felt like shaking the
other woman but, knowing the beautiful redhead, she would only laugh at
accusations that she was being cruel to Lucas. She had claimed
he didnłt have a heart to be hurt on the one occasion
Christi had tentatively mentioned how upsetting it
must be for him to be parted from his children in this way.

Needless to
say, there was no love lost between her and the other woman, although none
of that showed as she smiled at Lucas. ęHow did Daisy seem over the weekend?ł she prompted
lightly.

His expression softened. ęThey were both
fine. Having the cats and dog about the place helped,Å‚ he added soberly,
unconsciously revealing the strain of only being allowed to be a part-time
parent.

ęIłm glad.ł Christi gave a bright smile.
ęDid Daisy lose her other front tooth? You said
it was a bit wobbly the last time she stayed.Å‚

The harshness of his face was completely
softened with love for the two mischievous
imps that looked so much like him, with their thick dark hair and
silver-grey eyes. ęLost it and started to grow the replacement,ł he answered
ruefully.

ęAnd
did Robin like the Transformer you sent for his birthday?Å‚ she smiled.

Lucasłs
mouth tightened, his eyes a fierce silver. ęHis mother decided it wasnłt suitable
for him and exchanged it for something else,Å‚ he rasped.

Christi gave
a pained frown, sure that the toy had been perfectly suitable for Robin. She had gone with Lucas to
shop for the sturdy toy, Lucas having taken
care not to buy anything with guns, respecting, and agreeing with,
Marshałs decision that Robin had plenty of time before he needed to be introduced to the violence in life. The
Transformer they had finally chosen
did no more than change from a robust
truck into a robot. What possible harm could Marsha have found in that? The obvious thing seemed to be that his father had
bought it for him. The other woman wasnłt averse to taking what she could from Lucasthe monthly allowance
she received from him was enough to keep most
families for a year!but she wasnłt about to let Lucas take the praise
for anything. Christi didnłt know how Lucas
managed to control the anger he must feel towards his ex-wife!

ęIłm
sure he liked what he had instead,Å‚ she bit out tautly.

ęHe
didnłt say,ł Lucas said grimly, glancing at his wristwatch as he stood up. ęI have an appointment at ten, so I have to go now,ł he told
her lightly, bringing back the smiling Lucas with effort. ęGood luck with the audition this afternoon.ł He nudged her gently under the chin with his fist. ęBreak
a leg,Å‚ he teased.

She returned
his smile. ęThanks for looking after the pets for me.ł She walked him to the door.

ęMy pleasure.ł He moved with leashed
vitality, grinning at her as they reached
the door. ęAnd I shall expect a full
report on your dates this week,Å‚ he
derided. ęAnd remember, as an honorary brother, I expect an invitation
to the wedding,Å‚ came his parting shot.

Christi
watched him stride off down the corridor to the lift, returning his brief salute
before the doors closed behind him.

Oh, she
would honour the dates she had made with the three men while they were in
the Lake District,
but she knew with certainty that a wedding wouldnłt result from seeing any of
them again.

How could she marry anyone when it was Lucas she loved, that she had always loved?

CHAPTER TWO

PERHAPS
always was putting
it a little strongly, but Christi had
certainly loved Lucas from the time he had
first introduced himself as her neighbour almost four years ago.

Her parents
had only recently died, the full impact of that not hitting her until
weeks later, and her
move from her parentsł house to a smaller, more manageable apartment had been made with something like
detachment. Certainly, it hadnłt been until some
of the suitable furniture from her parentsł home was being moved into
the apartment that she suddenly realised her
mother would never be coming back to
sit behind the delicate writing-table as
she answered all her overdue correspondence, that her fatherher dear,
absent-minded fatherwouldnłt ever again have
a need for the display cabinet that
had housed his most precious objects, those artefacts now given to
museums, as he had requested they should be in his will.

But seeing
all that furniture moved into these strange surroundings had been the end for
her. She had run from the apartment with a choked cry, coming to an
abrupt halt as she crashed into a hard, but somehow soft, wall. Lucasłs chest...

She had been eighteen years old,
sheltered and cosseted all her life by over-indulgent parents, the men she had
so far had in her life only a passing amusement at best. But, as she looked up
into the harshly beautiful face of the man
that held her so tightly against his
chest, she had felt her heart leave her
body and join with his. Not even a word had passed between them, but Christi knew she was looking into the
face of the man she loved.

And when he had spoken it had been with
gentle kindness, introducing himself as Lucas
Kingsley, her new neighbour, insisting she join him in his apartment for a drink of some kind while the removal
men finished bringing up her furniture.

Christi had
felt wrapped in a protective glow, huskily explaining her recent loss, held
tightly in his arms as she cried on his broad shoulder, her senses wallowing in the clean smell of
him that was mingled with another smell that was all Lucas, a completely masculine aura that seduced and tempted,
drawing her more fully into his spell.

He had left
her only briefly, and that was to tip the removal
men when they knocked on the door to say they had finished, returning
instantly to take her
in his arms once again.

But, during
that time, or the many times afterwards when he had offered her the same
comfort, it had never been the sort of embrace she wanted from him.
He treated her more like the little sister he had
never had, taking her firmly under his wing until she
felt able to stand on her own two shaky feet, even then continuing to be the
shoulder she could
always cry on if she felt the need.

She had watched with dismay as first one
woman entered his life, and then another,
none of them lasting very long, all
of them maintaining a friendship even once the relationship was over.
With each new woman that entered his life,
Christi lived in dread of this one
being the one he decided to settle down with.

After two
years of loving him that hopelessly, when it seemed he would never see her as more than the ęlittle girl next door,ł she had decided something would have to be done to make him see she was all grown up now, a woman in every sense of the word. If she couldnłt have Lucas, she was
going to make sure he saw her with
enough men to be convinced of her maturity.

The next
year had been full of those men, but, instead of
Lucas accepting she was no longer a child, he had merely offered her his
shoulder to cry on
whenever one of those friendships broke up! After
more careful thought, she had decided that it had to be the fact that she still had a guardian, in the shape
of her uncle Zach, that prevented Lucas seeing
her maturity, and consequently her love for him. That decision had provoked an elaborateand, she accepted now a ridiculousplan, that would show her uncle just how adept she was at taking responsibility for her own life. The result
of that had been her uncle and Dizzywho she had somehow managed to persuade to enter into the madcap scheme to hoodwink her unclefalling in love
with each other, her uncle releasing his guardianship of her and her
inheritance into her own control at
twenty-one, instead of the twenty-five it could have beenand with Lucasłs attitude not changing towards her
in the least! She had been at a loss to know what to do after that, had
drifted along for another six months, lost in a sea of
self-pity. Then, as a last desperate plea for Lucasłs love, she had stopped dating
other men altogether, concentrating on her career, hoping that would finally make him sit up and take notice of her. Months later, she had to admit it hadnłt affected
him in the slightest.

And neither
had the idea of her possibly becoming involved with Dick Crosby, Barry
Robbins, or David Kendrick! He had even invited himself to the wedding! She would just have to
accept it, she didnłt have anything to
interest a man of thirty-seven who had been married and had a couple of
children.

She couldnłt
accept that! She loved Lucas, had loved him for four long years, would go
on loving him until the day she died. And she wouldnłt give up trying to
get him to return that love until that day came! The last thing she felt like
doing at the end of another exhaustingand
disappointingday, was getting dressed up to
go out on a date with Dick Crosby.

She freely
admitted that she had got out of the habit of going out on dates the last
six months. Not that it had been too difficult; until last week she
had had a one-line
part in a long-running play, which had taken
up most of her evenings. But last week the play had come to an end, and so she
was back looking for work, or ęrestingł, as most people knew it. She knew she was one of the lucky ones; her allowance, and then her full inheritance,
meant that she was never going to be one of the ęstarvingł actors who had to find work to survive. But she wanted to make a success of her career, and loved to act, going for any of the auditions her agent managed to set up for her. It was a bit much to expect success after only two days of looking, but
the fact that she hadnłt didnłt add to
the mood of wanting to go out for the evening.

It didnłt
help that she hadnłt seen Lucas since he had so blithely invited himself to her
non-existent wedding, either! He had been
out on a date last night himself, with a beautiful lawyer who possessed
brains as well as all that blonde beauty;
Christi had learnt this when Lucas
introduced the two of them last week. He
and Michelle had been seeing each other for a couple of weeks now, and Christi could tell by the way Michelle looked at Lucas that she was more than
fond of him. It was like twisting a knife in her chest to see him with other
women, to imagine him making love to those
women. One thing she was grateful
for, Lucas never brought those women home
to spend the night with him, any lovemaking he did obviously taking
place at the womanłs home.

He had come
home alone last night, late, because Christi had heard him letting himself into his apartment just
after twelve.

He had
already left for the office in town, from which he
ran his considerable empire, by the time shełd got up
this morning; and as she wasnłt likely to see him
tonight, either, now that she was going out herself, the evening looked bleak.

Poor Dick
Crosby! She wasnłt being fair to him at all, she realised ruefully. He
couldnłt help it if he wasnłt the man she really wanted to be with, nor
that she was in love with a man who was far out of her reach.

Because she
felt so guilty about her reluctance to go on this
date at all, she made an extra special effort to
look nice for Dick, aware that the flaming red dress, that reached just below her
shapely knees, made her hair appear more
ebony than usual, and added colour to her pale cheeks.

Nevertheless,
her heart gave a weary lurch when the doorbell rang promptly at eight ołclock,
and there was no way she could force a sparkle into haunted blue eyes as she hurried to
answer the door.

Dick Crosby was in his early thirties,
with thick sandy-coloured hair that fell endearingly across his forehead, and brown eyes that warmed appreciatively as they took in her appearance. Not quite six feet tall, he nevertheless possessed a natural
grace of movement that made him
appear taller than he actually was.

ęI must
remember to thank Dizzy for finally introducing
us properly,Å‚ he murmured softly. Dizzy. Her best friendand aunthad
rung her shortly after she had got in this evening, assuring her what a lovely
person Dick was, and telling her to ęgive him a chanceł.

Mentioning Dizzy was the worst thing
Dick could have done, if he had but known it,
the evening losing what little glow it
had had with the remembrance that
Dizzy had been the one to set them up in this way. She meant well, but
...

ęShall we go?ł Christi suggested
sharply, sighing inwardly as Dick gave her a hurt look. ęSorry,ł she grimaced. ęBad day,ł she excused, picking up her jacket
to follow him out into the corridor.

He relaxed
again. ęOh, I know what they are,ł he said knowingly. ęOnly too well, lately.ł

ęOh?ł
she prompted with polite interest. Maybe if she got him chatting she wouldnłt have to add too much to the
conversation.

ęYes,
I Ä™ Dick broke off abruptly as he saw the stricken look on her face as the lift doors opened in front of
them.

Christi
stared disbelievingly at Lucas and Marsha as they stood side by side in the lift.
Lucas was grim-faced, Marsha as kittenishly
beautiful as usual as her ex-husband ushered her out into the corridor.

The two
couples stared at each other as the lift doors closed, and the lift descended
again without Christi having made a move to go inside it.

Marsha and
Lucas made an arresting coupleLucas so tall and handsome, Marsha so
delicately lovely as
her hand rested on the crook of his arm.

But what were they doing together like
this? the question screamed in Christiłs
mind. How could Lucas fail to appreciate the beauty of the woman who had once been his wife, her hair curving alluringly about her beautiful heart-shaped face, the
black dress she wore showing off her curves to perfection. Next to her, Christi
felt like an ungainly giraffe! And then
reality righted itself, and with it came the realisation that Lucas and Marsha were divorced because they didnłt love each other, that
they had been more like enemies the
last five years, that the only interest they shared was their children.

The
children... Of course! Marsha would be here to discuss
something with Lucas concerning the children. She could only hope, for Lucasłs
sake, that it was nothing too traumatic; Marsha had already made him suffer enough where
they were concerned.

ęYou seem to have missed the lift,ł
Marsha purred mockingly, hazel-coloured eyes
gleaming with catlike malice as she looked Christi over scornfully.

Christiłs
head went back challengingly. ęIt must be the
surprise of seeing you again,ł she derided. ęIt must bealmost a year since we last
met?Å‚

ęSomething
like that,Å‚ the other woman dismissed
in a bored voice. ęYou havenłt changed at all,ł she scorned. ęAlthough the men in your life seem to have matured somewhat.ł She looked Dick over
appreciatively, giving him her most seductive smile.

Christi
stiffened at Marshałs open derision for her lack of
years, glancing uncomfortably at Lucas. He looked so grim, his eyes glittering
silver with suppressed anger, that Christi just wanted to put her arms around him and tell him
everything would be all
right, that Marsha wouldnłt be able to torment him with
the upbringing of his children any longer.
But it would be a hollow promise; while Marsha had Lucasłs children, she took great delight in making him
dance to her tune any time she wished. For a
man as forceful and dynamic as Lucas, it was an impossible situation.

She woodenly
made the introductions. Lucasłs greeting was terse, to say the least,
Marshałs a sensuous purr, and Dickłs after his initial surprise
at hearing that Marsha and Lucas, the flirtatious woman and the grim-faced man, were
husband and wife, was cautiously warm; he
kept a wary eye on the other manłs face with its stony expression and hooded grey eyes. He obviously didnłt know what to
make of the oddly matched pair, and Christi took pity on him and suggested they
had better leave now or they would be late for dinner.

She cast
one last anxious glance at Lucas as the lift doors
closed behind her and Dick, her heart twisting at how bleak he looked.

ęWhat
a strange couple,Å‚ Dick remarked dazedly at her side.

Christiłs
mouth tightened. ęTheyłre divorced,ł she snapped.

ęOh!ł he said with some relief. ęOh,ł he
repeated again in soft speculation.

ęAnd yes, Marsha is very available, in
case youłre interested,ł she told him
sharply, marching out of the building to come to a halt on the edge of
the pavement. She was shaking with anger, and
drew in a deep, steadying breath to calm herself.

Dick caught
up with her in a couple of strides; he seemed surprised by her outburst, and
looked at her
enquiringly.

ęIłm sorry.ł She gave a rueful grimace. ęMarsha
doesnłt bring out the best in me, andwell,
I did warn you it had been a bad day.Å‚ And it was getting worse by the
moment! Dick couldnłt be blamed for finding
Marsha attractive, especially after the woman had come on to him as strongly as she had. At the time, it had just seemed to her that Marsha was to blame for the fact that Lucas wasnłt able to
fall in love again, and that the man Christi did have interested in her
was also succumbing to the other womanłs
undoubted sensual attraction. In that moment,
it had just seemed too much! ęAlthough thatłs
no reason to behave like a shrew,Å‚ she apologised again.

This time,
instead of feeling annoyance when Dick mentioned Dizzy, Christi felt
relieved to be on neutral ground, relaxing slowly on the drive to
the restaurant as they discussed the success of Dizzyłs
illustrations. The most recent publication to come out
with one of her illustrations was a Claudia Laurence book, one of the most
successful ever.

Not many
people realised it, but Christiłs uncle Zach was,
in fact, Claudia Laurence, the author of those ęhotł historicals that always had
the public clamouring for more. Christi
herself had found out quite by accident, shocked to learn that the man she
had once termed ęfusty and dustył wrote those enjoyable
adventurous romps. As Dizzyłs agent, Dick
was also in on the secret, and they both relaxed as they discussed the
books.

Her unclełs
secret was one she hadnłt even told Lucas, knowing how sensitive her uncle
was about the subject, for his career as a professor of
history was just as important to him. It wasnłt that she thought Lucas would tell anyone else, it
was just thatwell, it wasnłt her secret to
tell. Maybe if he had been able to love her ...

ęIs
there anyone there?Å‚ Dick spoke in a ghostly voice.

Christi blinked at him in surprise,
having been completely unaware of her
surroundings; the exclusive
restaurant, and Dick, had faded from her mind as her thoughts had once again
dwelled on Lucas.

ęIłm
so sorry,ł she apologised again. ęIłm afraid Iłm not very good company tonight,ł she added with embarrassment.

ęThatłs
all right,ł he accepted ruefully. ęI guess my conversation must have
been boring for you.Å‚

She had no idea what the conversation
had been about! But Dick didnłt seem about
to go over it again, suggesting they order their meal instead.

Christi felt
terrible about her inattentiveness, putting Lucasand what Marsha could
possibly want to see
him aboutfirmly from her mind, and concentrating on being charming to Dick.

Nevertheless,
it wasnłt the most successful evening she had ever had, and as Dick kissed her briefly at her door, obviously waiting for an invitation to come in, she knew it would be kinder not to
encourage him any further. He was a nice enough man, but he certainly wasnłt going to be the one to supplant
Lucas in her heart!

ęNo?ł he
realised gently.

Christi gave a shaky smile. ęI am sorry ę She was silenced by his
fingertips over her lips.

ęIt was a nice evening,ł he smiled. ęI enjoyed your companyIłm not so sure you were actually with me
most of the evening,ł he teased without rancour, ębut it was a pleasant time.ł

Pleasant. It
wasnłt much of a eulogy. She had to face it: as a return to the dating
scene, it had been a
disaster! She was shaking her head as she
walked aimlessly around her
apartment, filled with a restlessness
that wouldnłt be satisfied until she had spoken to Lucas again. But she couldnłt go knocking on his door
at eleven-thirty at night! Damn it, why couldnłt
she? They were friends, at least, and friends cared about each
other, and he had
looked awful when she saw him earlier with Marsha. He could even be ill. Or.. .

Why bother
to search for excuses? She had to talk to him, and that was all there was to it! Christi was
encouraged by the fact that she could hear
music playing softly inside the apartment next to hers, and hesitated only briefly outside the door as the possibility that he wasnłt alone passed through
her mind. She would take that risk; he could
only ask her to wait until tomorrow before talking to him.

She knew she
had been right to come when she saw how haggard he looked when he opened
the door to her ring, his dark hair looking as if he
had been running agitated fingers through it for most of the
evening, his face pale, his pale grey shirt partly
unbuttoned down his chest to reveal the start of the dark
hair that grew there, a glass of whisky held in his hand. It was the latter that
told her how disturbed he was; Lucas never
drank alcohol, and only ever kept a supply in for guests.

She shifted uncomfortably on his
doorstep as he looked at her with narrowed
eyes. ęIerI thought I would come
and tell you how my evening went.Å‚ It
was positively the last thing she had meant to say, but suddenly she had felt as if she were intruding on something he didnłt want to talk about just now. ęYou did say you would like a report on each of my dates,ł she added lamely as he continued
to look at her.

To her
relief, he relaxed slightly, a faint glimmer of amusement
darkening his eyes as he held the door wider for her to enter.

The lounge was in shadows, with only a
small table-lamp for illumination, the Kenny
Rogers cassette she had bought him
last Christmas playing softly in the
background. Christi turned awkwardly
to face Lucas, feeling as if she had walked in on something very private. What had Marsha wanted to talk to him about tonight?

ęNo Michelle tonight?ł she enquired
lightly as she sat down in one of the comfortable brown leather armchairs, the room completely masculine, the décor
brown and cream, the furniture heavy and attractive.

ęNo,ł he drawled, his voice gruff, as if
the unaccustomed raw alcohol had burned his
throat on its way down. ęI didnłt
think it fair to inflict my company on anyone tonight,Å‚ he added ruefully, taking another drink of the whisky as he dropped down on to the sofa, his long legs stretched out
in front of him.

Maybe she
should have had the same forethought, and not ruined Dick Crosbyłs
evening for him!
Dizzy was sure to telephone for a full report tomorrow,
and she wasnłt going to be too happy with what she was told.

Strange,
she and Dizzy were closer than sisters, and yet she
had never told her friend of her love for Lucas,
had never told anyone. God knew what Dizzy
would do if she knew it was Lucas she loved! Christi thought disgustedly.

But, right
now, dealing with Lucasłs depressed mood, a mood she had never seen him in
before in all the years she had known him, was what was important
to her. Lucasłs happiness would always be important to her.

ęSo,ł
he spoke briskly, ęwas he the one?ł He looked
at her interestedly, amusement darkening his eyes.

Christi
relaxed slightly at his teasing. ęNo,ł she answered without hesitation.

ęOh!ł Lucas looked surprised. ęHe seemed a nice enough
chap to me.Å‚

ęHe
was,ł she nodded. ęBut he wasnłt for me.ł Youłre the man for me, she cried inside, wishingoh, God, wishing he could see her as more
than a young sister, or, even worse, someone he treated as being on the same age level as his two children!
Much as she liked Robin and Daisy, her feelings towards them werenłt sibling, but more maternal. She longed to be
their stepmother, to perhaps give Lucas other
children. ęCrying for the moon,ł her mother would probably have told her
gently, her face softened with love.

Lucas sipped
his whisky again. ęHow could you tell after just one date? Love doesnłt always hit you between the eyes like a fist, you know. Sometimes it
takes time to develop and grow.Å‚ He relaxed back against the sofa, watching her
beneath heavy lids.

But
sometimes it did hit you like that fist, and when it did
it was the hardest thing in the world to live
without! ęLove doesnłt,ł she acknowledged with a nod.

He frowned. ęMeaning something else does?ł

ęOh, yes,ł she smiled.

ęWhatah !ł He gave a knowing sigh, his mouth twisted into a smile. ęThat little monster lust
rearing its head again,Å‚ he derided.

The bleakness was starting to fade from
his eyes, and he had put down the
half-finished glass of whisky on the coffee-table beside him. ęI donłt
think of it as lust,Å‚ she chided reprovingly.
ęMerely a case of physical attraction,ł she corrected with mock indignation, rewarded with a gleam of laughter in dark
grey eyes.

ęLust,ł he repeated drily. ęBut there
was none of thisphysical attraction,ł he teased her mockingly, ębetween you
and Dick Crosby?Å‚

Another few
moments of this nonsense and she would have the old Lucas back again, and not
the man whose barely leashed savagery distressed her so much.

ęHmmaybe
a little,Å‚ she conceded with exaggerated thought.

ęOn his part, at least,ł Lucas taunted
knowingly. ęWerenłt you attracted to him,
too?Å‚ he asked interestedly.

ęHe
was very handsome, fun to be with,Å‚ she conceded with a shrug.

ęAnd?ł

ęAnd nothing,ł she dismissed lightly.

ęYou liked him, he was fun to be with,
you found him handsome, and yetnothing?Å‚ Lucas said disbelievingly.

she nodded, mischief gleaming in her eyes. ęI had my doubts throughout the evening,
but it was the kiss that
finally convinced me,Å‚ she said sadly, laughter lighting up her eyes beneath demurely
lowered lashes.

Lucas sat
forward, his elbows resting on his knees, a frown between his eyes. ęThe
man has got to the age ofthirty-one, thirty-two

ęThirty-one,ł she confirmed.

ęTo the age of thirty-one, and is still a lousy kisser?ł he said incredulously.

ęOn
the contrary,ł she drawled, ęhe was a very experienced and accomplished kisser.ł

ęBut

ęThere are kisses. And then there are
kisses, Lucas,Å‚ she
explained meaningfully, knowing they wouldnłt be having this conversation at
all if Lucas hadnłt drunk the unaccustomed
whisky. In the past, he had always shown a cursory interest in her
dates, but they had certainly never discussed these sort of intimacies!

ęThere
are?Å‚ he mocked.

ęPlatonic kisses, polite
kisses, meaningless kisses

ęI thought
there was only one way for a man to kiss a woman he found attractive,Å‚ Lucas
drawled. ęSo that he leaves her in no doubt that he wants her.ł

Christi
felt her heart leap in her chest, knowing she could
lose what she already had with Lucas, but also
knowing she would perhaps never have another opportunity like this one. ęThen
maybe Dick did do something wrong,Å‚ she accepted thoughtfully.
ęMaybe you could show me how it should be done? Oh, I realise you would have to
pretend to find me attractive, but at least this way I know what to look for in a man,Å‚ she
concluded innocently, her hands clasped
tightly together so that Lucas shouldnłt see their trembling, her heart beating so loudly, she felt sure he must be able
to hear it. She could lose everything with him, but oh, how she longed to know the touch of his lips on hers
just once! His
expression darkened. ęI donłt think She
quickly got up from her chair and joined him on the sofa, her legs
folded beneath her as she faced him. ęHow
else am I to know what to want from a man if someone doesnłt show me?ł She
looked at him imploringly.

He swallowed hard, a nerve pulsing at his jaw. ęThe men you dated last year

ęDid nothing for me, either,ł she dismissed, telling him clearly that she had never found any man attractive
enough to let him do more than kiss her.

How could she let any other man but
Lucas touch her? She had loved him long
before she had taken any other man
seriously, and loving Lucas as she did
meant she couldnłt bear the thought of any other man making love to her.

Her heart pounded more loudly than ever
as she waited for his answer, knowing she was
perhaps taking advantage of the
fogging the whisky had caused to his
brain, but wantingso muchto be taken in his arms. Regrets could come
later. And she didnłt
doubt that there would be many.

Lucas sighed, shaking his head,
obviously not as affected by the whisky as
she had thought hoped!he was. ęI donłt
think that would be a good idea.Å‚

She sat back
with a shaky sigh, his rejection a bitter blow. ęMaybe Barry will be more
cooperative,Å‚ she
challenged angrily, blinking back her tears
of disappointment. ęAfter mixing with all those Hollywood starlets, hełs sure to be very experienced!ł

Lucas
clasped her arms, turning her to face him, his
expression fierce. ęDonłt go playing games with a man like Barry Robbins,ł he warned
grimly.

ęWhy
not?ł she said defiantly, so hurt she just had to hit out at him. She had taken the chance, and lost, but in a way that humiliated as much as it hurt. ęHełs attracted to me, I can tell, andoomph!ł She was abruptly silenced as Lucasłs mouth
descended on hers, stealing her breath away.

He was
kissing her out of anger, not passion, but to Christi it
didnłt matter; she melted into his arms as he bent
her back against the sofa, her arms moving up about his neck as she clung to
him, gladly
returning his kiss.

And then his
mouth gentled on hers, controlling the fiery passion that had instantly blazed between them, nibbling on her lips with slow enjoyment, tracing
the outline of lips with the tip of his tongue, moving it temptingly against
them, but making no attempt to probe within, promising but not giving.

Christiłs
body ached, her nipples hard pebbles against his chest as the kiss once
again became fierce, no longer promising but giving fully, plunging
again and again until her whole body shook and quivered with need, a need
which was slightly assuaged when his hands began to move restlessly over her aching flesh.

She was floating, she was soaring, she
was held totally captive, she was aching, she
was hurting, she was more complete
than she had ever felt before. She was Lucasłs...

Suddenly he
thrust her away from him, staring down at her as if he couldnłt believe
his eyes, moving forcefully up off the sofa to move as far away from
her as possible, his back rigidly unyielding as he kept himself firmly turned away from her.

Christi knew how she must look to him,
her eyes drugged with wantonness, her mouth
a swollen pout, her hair wild about
her shoulders, her breasts still thrusting against the soft material of her
dress, that same dress having ridden
up to show off the long expanse of her thighs.

And
the wanton Lucas had produced obviously disgusted him.

She got up
from the sofa with a choked sob, running from the room, from the
apartment. She didnłt stop running until she was safely hidden
away in her bedroom.

CHAPTER THREE


 

IF CHRISTI had expected Lucas to follow her, to
try to make things right between them again, she had been
disappointed. He didnłt come to her that night, and
she saw nothing of him the next day, either, whether by his design or by coincidence she didnłt know. She did know that he wasnłt at his apartment
all day and that he didnłt even return to change
before going out for the evening, although she had heard his return at three ołclock this morning.

She had ruined things between them, had
pushed their friendship through a barrier Lucas had no wish for it to cross.

She curled
up into an even tighter ball of misery as she lay in her bed at nine ołclock in
the morning, trying to force herself to get
out and get herself moving.

She had
wanted Lucas as a lover, yes, but she didnłt have that, and she certainly didnłt
have his friendship any more, either. At the
time, she had wanted him so badly it
hadnłt seemed to matter, but after just one day of knowing she disgusted
him she was finding it hard to live with herself.

What if she
never saw him again? What if he decided to move out of his apartment
because of the
uncomfortable situation she had forced upon them?
Until these last two days, it had never occurred to her that Lucas would ever move away from living next door to her. But she had to admit
that now it was more than a
possibility. She tried to tell
herself that she was too good a friend to Lucas for this upset to cause him to do that, but at the same time she knew she had made it impossible
for him to feel comfortable in his own home.

Then she would have to be the one to
move out! Why should Lucas be forced out for something that had all been her fault, because her curiosity and good
sense had got the better of her? She didnłt
want to move, hated the thought of moving away from here, from possibly
never seeing Lucas again. But if one of them
had to go it would have to be her; she had no choice.

That
decision made, she got wearily out of bed, the day
stretching in front of her. She had no auditions to
go to, no one to see until Barry Robbins tonight. ęRestingł was all well and
good, but it gave you too much time to think and brood. About what might have been. How different things might have been if Lucas had known the same passion and desire
she had the other night, she mused dreamily. They would have made love together
all night, spent the day together, probably been together again last night, too. Instead of that, they werenłt even
talking to each other.

Whoever
would have thought she and Lucas would come to this? What had possessed her to force that situation of the other night?
Tears that had fallen all too readily over
the last two days began to roll down her cheeks again. Oh, Lucas! she cried inside as she dropped down on one of the bar stools in her kitchen, the homely sound of the coffee percolating not piercing her misery.
How often she and Lucas had sat down and had
coffee together before he left to go to work, and how she had daydreamed, during those times, that they were a happily married couple sharing breakfast together. Reality had intruded when Lucas had stood up to kiss her paternally on the forehead,
or, worse than that, had ruffled her hair affectionately before picking up his
briefcase and leaving.

Christi gave a startled jump as her
doorbell rang, hastily brushing away her
tears as she went to greet the doorman with her mail.

But it was
Lucas who stood on the doorstep, and she gazed up at him apprehensively. Not
that she was in the
least self-conscious about having him see her
in her short pink silk nightshirt; she had breakfasted with him hundreds of times in the past wearing similar night attire. It was having him
treat her as a stranger that was going to be so unbearable.

ęGood morning, lazybones,ł he greeted
with an indulgent grin, ruffling her hair
affectionately as he strode inside her apartment.

Christi
followed him dazedly after closing the door behind him; this was no stranger,
this was the Lucas she had always known!

ęI
was in my apartment working when I heard you moving aboutat last!Å‚ he
rebuked teasingly,grey eyes dark with
affection. ęI knew you would be
putting coffee on, so I thought Iłd come over and share a cup with you.ł He strode into the kitchen with the ease of familiarity, getting down the cups for their coffee. ęI must say, you look a little hung-over this morning, Christi.ł He handed her
a cup of steaming coffee.

She looked hung-over? He was the one
who had come home at three ołclock this
morning! Not that he looked any the worse for it; he was exuding good health and vitality, while she Obviously
what had happened between them the other evening certainly hadnłt kept him
awake at nights! Instead of feeling
guilty about what had happened,
Christi began to feel anger at Lucasłs indifference. Didnłt the passion
they had shared mean anything to him?
Obviously not, she decided indignantly.

Unless he just didnłt remember it? He
had been drinking that evening, something he rarely did, and maybe, just maybe But wasnłt that the classic excuse
people used when something had happened they would rather just forget, and didnłt
know how else to achieve it? She
looked at Lucas suspiciously. Was that why he was behaving like his usual cheerful self this morning, because he wanted her to think he
didnłt even remember what had happened
between them the other night, because
he wanted to forget the whole
embarrassing incident had happened? Orand this seemed more like the Lucas she lovedwas he trying to
save face for both of them, hoping that, if
he behaved as if nothing had happened between them, they would eventually both feel that nothing had happened?
Christi would give anything not to live
through the mortification of the last
two days again, and readily accepted that Lucas thought the whole thing was best forgotten, grasping at the friendship he offered
with both hands.

At least,
she took the coffee he held out to her with both hands, giving him a relieved
smile! He settled himself on one of her bar stools, facing out towards the kitchen, breathtakingly attractive in the dark navy suit and snowy white shirt, his striped tie meticulously knotted at his throat,
his dark hair falling endearingly across his forehead.

ęSo,ł
he said lightly. ęDid you go out last night?ł he asked interestedly.

ęNo.ł
She would have liked to ask him where he had been until three ołclock
this morning but, considering Michellełs
obvious beauty, and his continuing
relationship with the other woman, the answer
to that was all too obvious. And painful. ęI had a few chores to do,ł she dismissed shruggingly. ęDid you have a
pleasant evening?Å‚ She looked at him enquiringly.

ęFine,ł
he nodded. ęHow are the auditions going?ł

She gave a rueful smile. ęThey arenłt.ł
She sighed. ęThere are too many actresses
and not enough parts.Å‚

ęHm, itłs a pity the play had to close,ł
he nodded thoughtfully.

They were talking as they usually did,
and yet to Christi there was something missing. At first, it was difficult to pinpoint, and then she knew it was
the ease with which they were usually
together. Unless it was just her,
because Lucas seemed just as relaxed as ever. Maybe he really didnłt remember
the other night? Wouldnłt he have mentioned
it if he did remember, tried to clear the air? She didnłt know any more, all she did know was that Lucas was her friend again. She wasnłt about to risk that friendship a second time, even if
being kissed by him had been the most
beautiful experience of her life!

ęsomething
to offer you,Å‚ Lucas was saying as her thoughts came back to their
conversation. ęSorry?ł She gave a grimace of apology for her inattentiveness.

He gave a
rueful smile. ęI said, maybe Barry Robbins will have something he can offer you,ł he suggested lightly.

Christi
frowned. The other evening, Lucas had more or
less warned her off the film director, now he seemed to find nothing wrong in again
suggesting she use the manłs connections to
get herself work. But if he didnłt
remember what he had said the other
night ... It was becoming more and more obvious that he really didnłt.

Her mouth
twisted. ęIłm not sure Iłm the type of material for Hollywood,ł she derided.

ęYoułre
certainly more beautiful than most of those so-called stars over there,Å‚
Lucas encouraged.

What was the
good of being beautiful if that beauty didnłt appeal to the one man she
wanted it to? ęThank
you, kind sir!Å‚ She curtseyed in the above-knee-length
nightshirt. ęIłll be sure to tell Barry
you said so,Å‚ she teased, feeling more relaxed by the minute, knowing
now wasnłt the time to introduce the subject of Marshałs visit the other night,
and rekindle the discord.

Lucas stood
up, glancing at his watch. ęIf the man canłt see that for himself, then
maybe he ought to
give up film directing,ł he taunted. ęI have an appointment in half an hour, so I have to go now. Have a good time
this evening,Å‚ he called as he let himself
out. ęIłll be in later if you want to come and tell me all about your
date.Å‚

Christi
rushed into the hallway just as the door closed
firmly behind him. What had he meant by that? Had it been
the casual remark it had seemedor something more? God, her whole world seemed to have turned
upside-down since Tuesday night, so that she didnłt know her right from her left any more. She had thought she knew Lucas so well, now she wasnłt sure
she knew him at all.

If Dizzy had
hoped to introduce her to the man she could fall in love with last weekend, all she had done was cause
more confusion! Barry Robbins was undoubtedly
one of the most handsome men Christi had ever
met; slightly overlong blond hair that
curled attractively at his nape and ears, sexy blue eyes that left her
in no doubt as to his appreciation of her own
looks, a tall, lithe body that could look as good in the casual clothes
he had worn last weekend as he did in the biscuit-coloured suit and pale cream
shirt he wore tonight, the plain brown tie a
perfect complement to the more flamboyant suit.

And
Englishman by birth, his years in America had given
him a slight, and wholly appealing, drawl to his
accent, and Christi enjoyed just hearing him talk. Which was perhaps as well, when
she couldnłt find a lot to say herself! Barry
had arrived exactly on time, refusing to come in for a drink, taking her to dinner before going on to the stage musical she had been meaning
to go and see for months but which she
hadnłt found the time to do when the play she was in was showing at the
same times.

They went to
a quiet bar after the show, the first few minutes
taken up with discussing the merits of the
performance. Usually vivacious, Christi found it heavy
going after that; she couldnłt help glancing at her
watch, wondering if it would be too late to take Lucas up on his invitation if she
left now.

ęI
thought you werenłt working at the moment,ł Barry finally remarked.

Christi
blushed guiltily. ęIłm not. IIłm just a bit of a
clock-watcher,ł she excused lamely. ęIt comes from
months of making sure I was always on time for a performance, I expect.Å‚
She gave a bright
smile.

ęYes,ł he chuckled knowingly. ęI know I
come to startled wakefulness for weeks after IÅ‚ve finished making a film, wondering why no one has woken me up at the crack of dawn! The stringent timekeeping is part of the business,Å‚ he said understandingly.

Christi
relaxed once again; the two of them had so much in
common, after all. ęYou arenłt working at the moment?ł she prompted
interestedly.

ęI start filming late next week,ł he
dismissed. ęBut Iłm working on another project at the moment.ł

ęSounds
mysterious,Å‚ she teased, sipping her wine,
having decided she had better stick with the one drink all evening.

ęNot
really,ł Barry smiled. ęYou know this business
as well as I do; one minute you have a feasible idea, the next itłs back
to the proverbial drawing-board.Å‚

ęLike
the play I was in,Å‚ she acknowledged heavily.

Barry
looked at her consideringly. ęWith your looks, Iłm sure you would do well in
Hollywood.Å‚

So much for
having to tell this man Lucasłs totally biased opinion, she thought
moodily. She didnłt want to go to Hollywood, away from everything she held dear, away from Lucas!

ęJust
say the word and IÅ‚ll

ęThanks, but Iłm really not interested,ł she cut in firmly.

ęBastardising your talent, hm?ł he said ruefully. ęNot at all!ł Christi was genuinely
shocked. ęAmerica has some
really talented people. IÅ‚m not one of those actors who think the "British theatre",Å‚ she affected a haughtily English accent,

ęis everything.ł She
shook her head. ęI just feel ... This is my home,ł she shrugged. ęMy
familywhat little there isis here.Å‚

ęBut I thought Dizzy and Zach were your
only family?ł Barry frowned. ęAnd little
Laura, of course.Å‚

Christi
gave a puzzled frown. ęThey are.ł

ęThen when they go to the States

ęWhat?ł She faced
him tensely. ęBut they arenłt going to the States,ł she denied
confidently, unnerved
by Barryłs guilty expression. ęAre they?ł she voiced uncertainly.

ęNothing has been decided yet,ł he
answered awkwardly. ęBut Iłve made your uncle
an offer for the film rights to one of
his books, with the inclusion that he
will write the screenplay,ł he explained slowly. ęHełs still thinking
about it.Å‚

No mention
of this had been made over the weekend, not in front of her, anyway. Was she the reason Zach and Dizzy were hesitating? She knew her uncle and Dizzy took their responsibility towards
her very seriously, and they wouldnłt lightly view
leaving her alone in England for six months or so. She would miss them all, very much, but this was too good an opportunity for Zach to pass up, and
she would tell him so when she made her weekly call to them on Sunday evening;
to telephone earlier would be to make too much of their hesitation. She would
just casually mention what a good idea she thought
it was, and leave them to make their decision from there.

ęIt sounds marvellous!ł She gave a
brightly encouraging smile. ęTell me more about it.ł

Barry was
only too happy to do so, for this was the other ęprojectł
he was working on at the moment. It sounded wonderful, filming
beginning early next year if her uncle was agreeable, the
deal he was being offered probably enough to renovate the rest of
Castle Haven, which was her unclełs lifetime ambition, only having been
able to afford the work on the east wing of the rundown castle so
far. The thought of leaving her alone in England for all those months had to be
the reason he was hesitating.

ęIłm
sure we could find a part for you in the film if it would help Zach towell Ä™
Barry broke off uncomfortably as she looked at him with raised brows. ęIt
was only an idea,Å‚ he dismissed ruefully.

ęIłm as much against nepotism as I am
the casting couch,Å‚ Christi told him drily.

ęThat
really was dumb of me,Å‚ he said with a groan,
his adopted American accent more pronounced in his self-disgust. ęI
really am sorry,ł he grimaced. ęAlthough the part of the heroinełs sister would
be perfectno,ł he accepted drily as Christi slowly shook her head. ęNepotism
is a dirty word, right?Å‚ he dismissed.

ęRight,ł
she agreed drily.

ęBut if it were someone
elsełs scriptbut it isnłt,ł he sighed as Christi just continued to look
at him patiently. ęIłve said far too much,
probably ruined what has so far been a
perfect evening

ęYou havenłt
ruined it at all,ł she assured him lightly, picking up her clutch-bag. ęAfter all, I asked you to tell me more about it. But it is late now,ł
she smiled. ęI really should be getting home.ł

Barry sighed. ęI did ruin the evening

ęReallyyou didnłt,ł she insisted
without rancour. ęIłm
grateful that you told me about it.Å‚

ęIf
youłre sure ... ?ł He still didnłt look convinced, his handsome face set in self-reproachful lines.

ęIłm
sure.Å‚ Christi stood up in one fluid movement, the soft wool of the pale
blue dress she wore falling gently against her knees.

It was
almost twelve by the time Christi searched for her
door-key in her bag. Surely it was far too late to be calling on Lucas. Wasnłt it?

ęHere, let me.ł Barry took the key from
her unresisting fingers, deftly unlocking the door for her.

He had
certainly had plenty of practice at that, Christi acknowledged warily. Still
unmarried, at thirty-six, so perhaps that
wasnłt so surprising! Whatever his experience, he made her
nervous.

She turned
to face him in the doorway, effectively blocking his entrance. ęThank you for a lovely evening. The
dinner was superb and the show was excellent.Å‚ She gave him a glowing smile.

He looked
chagrined at the obvious dismissal. And then he relaxed, chuckling softly. ęI
guess IÅ‚ve lived in the glitz and glamour of Hollywood too long, where
the usual thank you for an enjoyable evening is an equally enjoyable night in bed!Å‚

ęI guess
you have,Å‚ Christi drily mocked him.

Barry shook
his head, grinning widely, looking years younger. ęDizzy told me I was going to
like you.Å‚

Christi gave
an inclination of her head. ęShe told me the same thing about you.ł

He looked at her admiringly. ęShe wasnłt wrong as far as Iłm concerned,ł he told her
huskily. ęNor me,ł she assured softly.

She was ready for his kiss, waiting, her
face raised invitingly to his, his mouth firm
and warm as it claimed hers.

His mouth
moved against hers with expertise, eliciting a response; it was only when
his hands began a slow exploration of her body that Christi froze, his
caresses an intrusion, an act of theft against the man she really wanted.

Barry drew
back ruefully, releasing her slowly. ęCan I see you again?ł he prompted
gruffly, blue eyes
dark with passion. ęSaturday?ł

ęIhave a date for Saturday.ł She couldnłt
quite meet his gaze.

ęOh,
yes,ł his voice hardened, ęwith David Kendrick, right?ł

ęRight,ł
she confirmed uncomfortably. If shełd had
Dizzy by her side right now, she would cheerfully have wrung her neck for her, new mother or not! Her friend had put her in such a compromising situation with these three men, that by the time the week was ended probably none of them would
even want to talk to her again, let alone have their thoughts on matrimony!

ęThen,
how about next week?Å‚ Barry suggested lightly.

ęErcan
I call you?ł she prevaricated. ęIłm hoping
to have found work by next week, and IÅ‚m not sure when or where IÅ‚ll be
working.Å‚

He nodded
acceptance. ęYou have the number of my hotel. Iłll look forward to hearing from you.ł

Christi
wondered ruefully how long it had been since an
evening had ended so tamely for Barry Robbins, as
she moved about her kitchen making herself a cup of coffee, having decided
it was too late to bother Lucas now. The poor man probably hadnłt been
sent meekly on his way at the end of an evening for years. Oh well, at least
he wasnłt likely to
forget the evening he had spent with her! She
had changed into her nightshirt and was sitting on the sofa, drinking her coffee, when she heard the soft knock
on her apartment door.

Barry had
seemed to take her refusal good-naturedly, but if he had come back for
another try he couldnłt have been quite as amiable about it as she had thought he was! She gaped at
Lucas as she peered up at him from around
the edge of the door, straightening as she opened it wider.

ęDonłt
look so surprised,ł he derided, bending down to pat Henry as the dog yapped about his ankles, demanding attention. ęI think we had
better go inside before he wakes our neighbours up,Å‚ he suggested
ruefully.

Christi
stepped back dazedly, following him through to the lounge, drinking her fill of him as, Henryłs feelings appeased, the two cats stretched and
purred in the armchair for his attention.

Lucas certainly hadnłt been drinking this
evening; his hair was neatly combed, his eyes
intelligently alert, no lines of bitterness were etched into his face. He had obviously spent the evening relaxing at home;
the short-sleeved brown shirt was partly unbuttoned
at his throat, faded denims rested low down on lean hips and thighs. It made
Christiłs breath catch and her palms
grow damp just to look at him! The cats lay on their backs in ecstasy as
one leanly muscular hand caressed their silky
tummies, and Christi quivered with
jealousy as she longed to know the caress of those hands against her skin.

At last he
straightened, but Christiłs fascinated gaze still
followed the strength of his hands as he thrust them
into his denimsł pockets, pulling the material even tighter across his thighs.

ęI was
waiting for you to come over.ł Lucasłs quizzical gaze met hers as she at
last raised her eyes. He was smiling at her
encouragingly. ęWhen you didnłt come,
even after you had made yourself a cup
of coffee, I decided maybe you thought it was a little late to be making
social calls.Å‚

Their
kitchens were the only two walls that met in this expensive apartment building
and, while they couldnłt hear every movement
in each otherłs kitchens, it was possible
to tell when an electrical plug had
been pushed in. It had disconcerted Christi a little at first, but now
she sometimes just sat inher kitchen,
listening to the comforting sounds of Lucas moving about next door.

ęIt is after twelve,ł she nodded
ruefully.

ęAnd
we both know youłre a nightbird.ł Lucas sat down on the sofa, stretching his long legs out in front of him, his hands once again visible as
he rested them on the cushions beside him. He relaxed back against the
cushions. ęThe times wełve sat here drinking coffee together when youłve
returned from the theatre in the evening,Å‚ he murmured fondly.

ęWe went to the theatre tonight,ł she
rushed into speech, feeling uncomfortable at
him having seen her in her nightshirt
twice today. It was a dark blue one
this time, that made her hair midnight-black and deepened her eyes to almost the same colour. ęTo see Phantom
of the Opera.Å‚

He raised
dark brows, stretching up to put his hands behind his head, the power of his chest and shoulders thrown
into prominence. ęGood?ł

ęVery,ł
she nodded. ęI sometimes wish I could sing;
there are so many good musicals about nowadays,Å‚ she said wistfully.

ęIłve
heard you in the shower,ł Lucas teased. ęI donłt think you should inflict your voice on the general public!ł

It was incredible how intimately their
lives were intertwined; she had heard him
singing in the shower once, too, while
shełd waited for him to drive her to the theatre one night when her car
had broken down. He had a fine baritone
which was very pleasing to the ear, whereas she sounded more like Gladys or Josephine in one of
their not-so pleasant moods!

ęProbably
not,Å‚ she agreed lightly.

ęDefinitely
not,Å‚ Lucas grinned.

She swallowed hard, somehow feeling at a
disadvantage as she stood across the room from himwhich was absurd; the person sitting down was usually the one to feel intimidated! ęDid you do anything interesting this evening?ł Her lightness
of tone didnłt reveal her intense interest.

ęOh,
no, you donłt!ł Lucas dismissed laughingly. ęItłs your evening wełre interested in. The fact that Iłve been doing paperwork all evening isnłt even worth
mentioning.Å‚

She shrugged, relieved that his
relationship with Michelle seemed to be
coming to an end; he had only seen the other woman once this week that
she knew of. But once this affair ended
there would just be another one, she
reminded herself, and one of these
times the woman was going to be the right one for Lucas.

ęThen we wonłt mention it.ł Christi
smiled to hide the nagging pain that thinking
of Lucas, finally falling in love,
always caused in her heart. ęAnd Iłve already told you that my evening
went well.Å‚

ęNo,ł he corrected with a shake of his
head. ęYou said the musical was good. The
next relevant question is, was Barry
Robbins as good?Å‚ he drawled.

ęLucas!ł
She stared at him with wide eyes.

His
mouth twisted. ęAs in well behaved,ł he explained drily.

ęOh,ł she blushed. ęYes,
he was verywell, most of the
timeuntil he brought me home Ä™ She broke off, feeling uncomfortable at
the speculative gleam in silver eyes.

ęWell,
you didnłt invite him in, so My God, the
man didnłt try something on the doorstep?ł he said disgustedly.

ęNo,
he didnłt,ł she glared at him indignantly, finding his curiosity about her dates deeply embarrassing. ęHe
kissed me, thatłs all,ł she told him defensively.

ęAnd?ł
Lucas looked at her interestedly.

Christi gave
a pained frown. ęLucas, I donłt think

ęTuesday night, you claimed the kiss was
the way you knew Dick Crosby wasnłt the right
man for you. I merely wondered if you
had discovered the same thing about
Barry Robbins when he kissed you,Å‚ Lucas shrugged.

Christi stared at him as if she had
never seen him before. He did remember
the other night! It wasnłt that he
didnłt remember what had happened, it wasnłt
that he was saving her blushes by not mentioning it, he just hadnłt mentioned it earlier because what they had shared hadnłt been important to
him! Her family and friends, Lucas among
them, all knew that she was usually
slow to anger, that it took a great
deal to make her angry, but, for possibly the first time in her life,
red-hot anger coursed through her like a tidal wave.

How dared Lucas feel nothing after those impassioned kisses they had shared! How dared he!

ęNo,ł
she replied tautly. ęBarryłs kisses were very sensual, very enjoyable,ł she
told him challengingly.

Lucasłs arms slowly lowered to his sides. ęThen, he is the man for you?ł he said softly.

Her head was back in proud defiance. ęI didnłt say that,ł she bit out waspishly. How dared he! Lucas looked puzzled. ęBut
you said

ęHis kisses were very sensual.ł She
nodded acknowledgment. ęIt was when he began
to touch me that I froze,Å‚ she
shrugged dismissively, her expression deliberately bland.

Lucas sat
forward. ęWhen hetouched, you?ł His eyes were narrowed. ęAre you telling
me that he tried to make love to you while the two of you were standing in the hallway?Å‚ he rasped.

Christi was glad he no longer found this
amusing; she had ceased finding it funny a
long time ago! ęHardly,ł she derided
mockingly. ęHe just touched me, thatłs
all. Ran his hands over my body,Å‚ she enlarged as Lucas still looked
puzzled.

His mouth thinned into a taut line. ęAnd?ł She shrugged again. ęI didnłt like it.ł

Lucas
frowned darkly. ęWhat exactly did he do to you?ł

Christi looked thoughtful. ęWell, he put
his hand here,Å‚ she placed her own hand just
under her left breast, ęand here,ł
she placed her other hand on her hip, ęand
here,ł she moved her right hand slightly higher against her breast. ęAnd
then heitłs a bit awkward for me to show
you like this.Å‚ She shook her head.

Lucas stood
up and came to stand just in front of her, holding out his own hands. ęShow
me now,Å‚ he invited
gruffly.

She didnłt
hesitate, she was so angry with him for putting her through the torment of
the last two days that, at that moment, she didnłt care if
he never spoke to
her again after tonight! She took his left
hand and placed it on the curve of her
bottom, placing his right hand exactly where hers had been seconds earlier. And the sensation was nothing like the aversion she had felt when Barry
had attempted to touch her so intimately. Her whole
body started to tingle, Lucasłs hands burning her through the silky
material of her nightshirt.

ęNow what?ł Lucas prompted harshly.

Christi looked up at him; she was tall
herself, but Lucas easily towered over her. ęItłs difficult to remember,
really,Å‚ she said breathlessly, her nipples already
taut against silk. ęHe was kissing me, you see,ł she shrugged. ęAnd his hands just sort ofroamed at will.ł

ęAt will,ł Lucas echoed tightly, pulling
her hard against him, bending his head to
claim her mouth in a searing kiss.

At first,
she was so lost in the power of that kiss that she wasnłt aware of his hands
against her body, but as his fingertips
caressed the length of her spine she
became very aware of that touch, gasping out loud as one of his hands moved to fully cup her breast. Being
tall as she was, it would have been nice to
be blessed with big breasts, but she hadnłt been, and as her breast perfectly fitted into the palm of Lucasłs
hand she knew why she hadnłt: her body had been perfectly fashioned to match
and fit his.

All the time
he caressed her, that punishing kiss went on, and on, and on ...

Christi felt
weak, clinging to the width of his shoulders, trembling anew as Lucas
pulled her thighs tightly against his, at the same time as
his lightly caressing tongue stopped playing with her lips and plunged into the waiting warmth
beneath.

She felt
claimed, possessed, giving a little whimper from too much pleasure all at
once, as expert
fingers parted her nightshirt all the way down the front, a thumb-tip moving
erotically against the hardened tip of her breast.

His denims and shirt were another erotic
abrasion against her naked flesh, and she
felt herself filled with a moist ache
as her body prepared to fully accept him, her limbs trembling
expectantly.

She desperately drew air into her ragged
lungs as Lucasłs mouth left hers to travel
the length of her throat, knowing another kind of desperation as that moist mouth claimed the aching tip of her other breast, one hand moving up automatically to thread her fingers through the darkness of his hair as
she held him against her, the suckling
pressure against her breast deepening the ache between her thighs.

Lucas had gone way beyond any caresses
Barry Robbins might have attempted, but
Christi didnłt want to stop him; she
wanted it all, wanted this ache taken away, replaced by the fulfilment
she hadalways known only one man could give
her. This man.

The gentle
curve of her breast thrust forward moistly as Lucasłs mouth left the
creamy peak to travel
slowly across the silky flesh.

It wasnłt until she felt Lucasłs fingers
deftly re-buttoning her nightshirt that Christi realised his kiss was no longer passionate but soothing, lacking the fire that seconds ago had pulled them both towards
the edge of oblivion.

Her body once again covered by blue
silk, Lucas raised tender hands to smooth
back the dark swathe of her hair from
her flushed face. ęAnd you knew from the way
Robbins touched you that he wasnłt the man for you?ł he prompted huskily.

ęYes,ł
she breathed shakily, waiting for his obvious conclusion after her
response to him. Waiting. And waiting.

She was
still waiting, minutes later, when Lucas had wished
her a gentle goodnight and quietly left to return to his own apartment!

CHAPTER FOUR

CHRISTI had a job. Possibly not the sort of job
she would have chosen for herself, given a choice. But
the screen test she had had at the beginning of the week had paid offshe was now the
glamour in an advertisement for a new
liqueur the company intended televising in time for Christmas.

It was a job
for a model, of course, although some people said she had the height and
looks of a model, anyway, and there was some acting involved,
according to the director. And it would mean her
face would be seen by millions all over the
country, possibly the world, if they chose to syndicate it, as they were doing with so
many advertisements nowadays.

They were
going to film four different adverts, starting
next month, which was only a couple of weeks away, after all. Apparently the
company had been searching for just the right
girl for months now; it had just been
a lucky chance that her agent had
sent her along to them. A lucky chance for all of them. At least now she could encourage Dizzy and Zach to take up the opportunity in America, while being able to assure them that she was working
and would be fine during their absence.

Ordinarily, she would have shared
something like this with Lucas, would have gone over to hisapartment as soon as he had got in from work and taken
him out for a celebratory dinner.

But nothing
was ordinary between herself and Lucas any more. For one thing, she no
longer understood him, let alone what was going on between them.

They had
lived next door to each other for four years four
yearsand not once had Lucas shown more than a brotherly interest in her
life. In the last four days, she had been in his arms twice, and both times he could have made love to her with no argument
from her. And his response to her certainly hadnłt been anything but that of a
lover.

But the
first time he had kissed her Lucas had been
demonstrating how a man should kiss a woman he desired, and last night he had
been pretending he was another man making
love to her. Where things stood
between herself and Lucas she had no idea! However, if the last four days hadnłt happened, Lucas was the person she would have wanted to
celebrate with, and if he could face her as if the other night hadnłt happened
she, supposedly the trained actress of the two of them, could surely
face him as if last night hadnłt happened!
Even if she, and her body, could
remember every kiss, every caress...

Knowing that Fridays were always
especially busy for Lucas, working later than usual before the office closed down for the weekend, Christi was aware that he rarely, if ever, made a date for that
evening, so he should be free later on to help her celebrate.

Booking a
table at their favourite restaurant should be an easy matter; in the past,
she had always just had to mention Lucasłs name and the table was
arranged as if by magic. The management must wonder at her appearance every few months or so, after
the beauties who usually accompanied him for
a few weeks, before disappearing, never to be seen with him again! She
spoke to Simon, the maître dÅ‚, when she got through to the restaurant, mentioning that the table would be
for Lucas Kingsley.

ęBut Mr Kingsley already has a
reservation for nine-thirty,Å‚ he assured her.

Christi
frowned. ęAre you sure?ł What a silly question! If
Simon said Lucas had a reservation, then that was exactly what he had;
Simon was so good at
his job, the restaurant ran like a well-oiled machine.

ęVery
sure, madam.Å‚
There was only a slight frosting to the confirmation.

Lucas
already had a date for tonight, after all. ęHow silly of me,ł she said in a hollow
voice. ęThere must have been some confusion
over who was to book the table,Å‚ she
excused lamely, hoping this man didnłt
choose to mention the supposed ęmix upł to
Lucas, or his partner for the evening, when they arrived there later!

ęYes,
madam,Å‚ Simon returned politely.

Christi
replaced the receiver slowly, a dejected droop to her
shoulders. Lucas must be seeing Michelle tonight, after all. So much
for the relationship
coming to an end! It was only on specialoccasions,
and for special women, that Lucas broke his rule about keeping Friday evenings
free to relax.

She looked
down at the petrol-blue dress she wore, a silky shimmer of material that
clung alluringly to
her curved body, a perfect foil for her dark hair.
She felt like Cinderella in reverse; all dressed up and
nowhere to go! She was still debating whether to change and spend the evening quietly at homeif it could be called
quiet when the cats and Henry seemed to be going through one of their
squabbling nights!or whether to call up a couple of friends and
do her celebrating with them, when she heard Lucas outside
in the corridor.

It wouldnłt
hurt just to pop over for a few minutes to tell him about the job, now
would it? Why was
she trying to talk herself into it when she knew it was what she really wanted
to do? Her bright smile of greeting died on
her lips as the door to Lucasłs apartment was opened by none, other thanMarsha Kingsley! Christi
stared at her in some disbelief. Visiting Lucas once in a week to talk about
the welfare of their children seemed perfectly natural to her,
but for the other
woman to be here twice...

A slow smile spread over Marshałs
mocking features, her eyes appearing catlike
in their pleasure. ęWell, well!ł She looked Christi up and
down speculatively. ęLittle
girl going out to play, is she?Å‚

If this
woman had been anyone other than Lucasłs ex-wife, Christi would have
been able to handle
the sarcasm, but it was because Marsha had once been married to Lucas, had known him more intimately for four
years than any other person, that Christi at
once felt at a disadvantage whenever she met her. And, of course, she was
at a disadvantage; Lucas had once loved
this woman enough to marry her.

ęIłm going out later, yes,ł she answered
abruptly. ęIs ę

ęWith the man from the other evening?ł
Marsha drawled. ęDick something-or-other?ł

ęCrosby,ł
she supplied tersely. ęAnd no, it isnłt. Is Lucasł

ęAt
home?ł the other woman finished softly. ęBut, of course. Hełs just taking a shower,ł she murmured
throatily. ęYour men may have matured slightly,
but you obviously havenłtnot enough to keep them interested, anyway,ł she added tauntingly.

Christi
drew in an angry breath, hating this womanłs derision, furiously angry at Lucasłs easy familiarity of taking a shower with his ex-wife in his apartment. Just what was going on? ęExperience
may count for something,ł she snapped. ęBut experience
is something Iłll attain. Youth is something youłll never see
again!Å‚

She hadnłt meant to say that, bitchiness
had never been one of her weaknesses. But
from the furious glitter in Marshałs
suddenly venomous eyes she knew she had surpassed herself at her first
attempt! She gave a weary sigh. ęI didnłt come here to fight with you

ęThen why did
you come?ł Marsha challenged harshly. ęTo try and convince Lucas youłre
all grown up at last?ł she scorned. ęDonłt look so stricken,ł
she taunted as Christi paled. ęI guessed from the
beginning that you imagined yourself in love with
Lucas. But youłre a child to him, you always will
be.ł She gave a derisive laugh. ęYou could dance naked on a table-top and he
would probably just
offer you his jacket so that you didnłt catch cold!ł

It wasnłt
true ... yet, wasnłt it the same thing, but put in a different way, that she had
been telling herself for years? Even after Tuesday and Thursday nights? But she
already knew that she had provoked him on
both those occasions. And that
afterwards Lucas had acted as if
nothing unusual had happened. He probably just put it down as a further
step in her education on his part!

ęI donłt know what Lucas ever saw in
you!Å‚ she choked, her nails digging into her palms.

Marshałs
mouth twisted. ęGive yourself another fen years or so and youłll know,ł she
mocked.

ęSex isnłt everything!ł Christi denied
in a pained voice.

Marsha gave
a derisive shrug. ęWith a man like Lucas, it isnłt nothing, either.ł

Christi swallowed the nausea that rose
up in her throat at the thought of Lucas
with this woman. ęHow fortunate for him that hełs become more
discriminating over the years!Å‚ she bit out with distaste.

Marsha was completely in control again
now, her brief show of anger masked behind
mockery. ęHas he?ł she challenged softly.

She could feel the colour drain completely out of her cheeks. Marsha couldnłt be sayingLucas wouldnłthe couldnłt But Lucas had cared for
this woman once, had children with
her, and it had never been his decision
to end their marriage. Despite his bitterness about the way things had ended between them, Lucas had never once claimed to hate his ex-wife for
what she had done.

Lucas
and Marsha...

Christi
readily admitted that during this last week, the
man she had thought she had known for the last
four years had seemed like a stranger to her at times, a man who looked like
Lucas but who certainly didnłt act like him.
Would his having an affair with
Marsha be any more difficult to comprehend
than the occasions he had taken her into his arms the last week? Lucas and Marsha...

Oh, God,
she didnłt want to believe that! This woman
entwining her body around his like a sensuous cat

ęWe always were pretty explosive in bed
together,ł Marsha taunted softly at Christiłs obvious growing horror. ęWhy donłt you ask him? No, I donłt suppose
youłll do that, will you?ł she derided with mockery. ęIf itłs any consolation,
Christi, you could never hope to keep a man like Lucas satisfied.Å‚

Christi wanted to wipe the knowing smile
off the other womanłs red-painted lips, wanted to deny the hurtful claim. But Lucas hadnłt wanted her
enough, on either of the occasions she
had been in his arms, to lose his icy control and make love to her.

Oh, God, a
week ago her life had been tranquil and secure, even if the man she was in
love with had never been able to return those feelings. Now she wasnłt
sure what she and Lucas had any more, and he seemed to be involved with
thisthis

ęYou really
are so transparent.ł Marsha gave a husky laugh. ęMaybe Lucas should have
done you both a favour and put you out of your misery years
ago; a brief affair
would certainly have been kinder than
fending off your adolescent devotion with brotherly affection all these years,Å‚ she dismissed in a bored
voice.

Lucas didnłt
know how she felt about him, he couldnłt know! Why couldnłt he?
a voice murmured inside her; this woman seemed to have had no trouble guessing at her love for him!
Oh God!

ęMarsha,
I thought I heard Ä™ Lucas broke off frowningly as he saw the two of them standing together in the doorway. He finished tying the belt
to his robe as he straightened
questioningly. ęChristi,ł he greeted lightly.

Christi felt
as if he had struck her a blow. Lucas was obviously naked beneath the bathrobe,
and he had walked into the room to be with his ex-wife dressed that
way, his hair still damp from the shower he had just taken.

Marsha had
been telling the truth about that. And Christi had a sinking feeling that
the other woman had been telling the truth about a lot of other things, too.

Her head
went back defensively. ęI was just on my way out.ł Amazingly, her voice didnłt
tremble and shake as she had feared it would! ęAnd I just thought I would let you know Iłve found
a job.Å‚

ęThatłs
great,Å‚ he said with genuine pleasure.

ęYes,ł she agreed tersely, keeping her gaze averted from his dark masculinity. ęI didnłt realise at the
time that I would be interrupting
anything Ä™

ęBut ę

ęI really do have to go now, Lucas,ł she
continued brittly as he would have interrupted. ęI hope you both
have a nice evening,Å‚ she added tautly, turning away.

ęBut, Christi -----ł

ęLeave her alone, Lucas,ł Marsha chided throatily. ęCanłt
you see the poor girl has more on her mind than talking to us?Å‚

Christi
heard the door close softly behind her, and she didnłt
need to turn to know that both Marsha and Lucas were still on the
other side of it. She couldnłt allow herself to think what they would be doing in a couple of minutes
from now! Marsha was wrong, very wrong; the only thing Christi
had on her mind was Lucas and her. Together.

She closed her eyes, tears squeezing out between the lids.

She would have to keep to that decision
she had made on Wednesday about moving. She
couldnłt go
on living here now that Lucas was seeing Marsha, now
that she knew he had realised all the time that she was in love with him.

She
felt so humiliated. So hurt. So betrayed.

She hadnłt
been able to help loving Lucas. But he was so much older than her, so much
wiser, couldnłt he have found some way over the years to let her
know, gently, that he realised how she felt but that there could be no future for
them? Maybe she was being unfair, the onus hadnłt been on Lucas to deal with the problem at all, but on her. She had
always known there could never be anything
between them, she had just refused to accept it.

Well, now
she accepted it! She loved Lucas, but her
feelings were an embarrassment to him. She couldnłt
change the way she felt about him, she doubted she
would ever be able to do that, but she could
remove the embarrassment, herself, from his life.

Christi had wanted so badly to get out of her date
for this evening, she had telephoned Dizzy to ask for David Kendrickłs telephone number, only to find, when she called his home, that
David wasnłt at home to answer her repeated calls, but
seemingly out for the day.

She looked
terrible, and she felt even worse. She had crept
quietly back into her apartment last night, so that neither Lucas nor Marsha should
realise she was hiding away like a wounded animal rather than going out as they
had expected her to do.

She had
heard the other couple leaving just after nine ołclock. Finally, shełd been able
to move about freely, yet shełd still been sitting dazedly in an armchair when she had heard Lucasłs return. Shełd given a nervous start when his gentle knock had sounded on the door, instantly silencing Henry
with a raised warning finger, as he would have barked excitedly at the
familiar knock.

She had
trembled when Lucas had called to her softly
through the closed door, knocking again, a little louder this time, almost as if hełd
sensed her watchfulness behind the wooden
barrier. Again shełd silenced Henry,
waiting tensely for the sound of
Lucas going to his own apartment, her breath leaving her body in a shaky sigh
when he had finally done so.

Christi hadnłt
dreamt such misery existed; not even her regrets after Tuesday evening
had been as bad as this raw pain. The last thing she wanted was to move
away from Lucas, but what if his relationship with Marsha deepened, became serious? What if they
decided to remarry? Lucas had left his apartment shortly before David called
for her, and she could only guess that his companion
for the evening was Marsha. Oh, God, just the thought of them together..
.

Her deep
sigh of despair didnłt go unnoticed by her
companion. David smiled enquiringly. He was a tall,
dark-haired man with laughing blue eyes and a lithe attraction which must have set
many female hearts fluttering over the years.
And which left Christi unmoved.

ęPenny
for them?ł he encouraged at her silence. She gave a wan smile. ęIłm
afraid they arenłt even worth that,ł she
dismissed wearily. ęIłm sorry Iłm not better company. I did try to call you
today to cancel our dinner date, but
Ä™

ęIłve been out of town,ł he nodded
comprehendingly. ęI spent the day with Dizzy and Zach.ł

ęWhat?ł That shook her out of her despondency. If David had been in the Lake District with Dizzy and
Zach when shełd called, then Dizzy had deliberately
not told her so! And she didnłt need two guesses why; Dizzy had
obviously guessed that the reason she wanted
Davidłs number had been because she wanted to cancel their date. And she
had effectively balked her plans.

Damn Dizzy and her matchmaking! But for
her friendłs interference, she neednłt have put David or herself through the unnecessary awkwardness of tonight. Although, she had to admit, David didnłt seem too disturbed by her lack of enthusiasm for the evening. And she didnłt for one moment believe
it was a reaction he usually got from his dates. He was the sort of man to have women flocking around him, not the sort who had to try and cajole
one insipidly reluctant woman into having a good time! She readily
admitted she wasnłt looking her best tonight;
the strain of the last week was beginning to tell on her, obvious by the dark shadows in and below her eyes,
and the fact that her expression was lacking its usual sparkle. If things
deteriorated any further, she was going to
lose that advertising job before they even began filming!

ęDid Dizzy forget to mention that?ł
David looked amused at her chagrin. He relaxed back in his chair, their meal over, Christiłs barely touched. ęI
suppose she thought it only fair that
I should at least be given a chance to talk you around.Å‚

ęAround
to what?Å‚ Christi gave him a curious frown; if he was trying to talk her into
going to bed with him, it was the most
direct approach she had heard yet!

ęInto talking to Zach about writing the
screenplay for his book so that Barry could
make it into a film,Å‚ David told her shruggingly.

Christi
stared at him as if she had never seen him before,
going to speak twice before changing her mind, then finally swallowing hard. ęIs that what Were
Dick and Barry

ęNot very subtly trying to do that?ł he
finished amiably. ęYes,ł he confirmed drily.

She remembered now how Dick had changed
the conversation at her lack of attention,
claiming he must be boring her, how
Barry had even offered her a part in
the film as an inducement to persuading Zach into working on the script.

Her mouth
tightened. ęThen why arenłt you going to try, too,ł she snapped with distaste.

He shrugged
again. ęDick doesnłt know Zach very well, his main interest is in promoting Dizzyłs work through
the film. Barry may have known Zach years ago, but he doesnłt know him too well
now,łhe said ruefully. ęOn the other hand, I
know Zach well enough to realise that only Zach will make his mind up about the filming of one of his books. And thatłs where the problem comes in; Zach isnłt too thrilled at the idea of his identity as Claudia
Laurence becoming public.Å‚

She could
imagine that her very private uncle wouldnłt! ęAm I to take it by your
admissions that your interest in me is the real thing?Å‚
Christiłs voice dripped sarcasm.

David smiled
at her obvious anger. ęThe last woman I tried to deceive punched me in
the eyeand then a week later she married me,Å‚ he recalled with obvious pleasure.

Christi gaped at him. ęYoułre married?ł She was sure Dizzy couldnłt have known that when she encouraged Christi to go out with him!

ęNot any
more,ł he said regretfully. ęSara died.ł

ęIłm so sorry,ł Christi
gasped, knowing Davidłs simply made statement in no way reflected the
pain that suddenly clouded his eyes.

ęIłm
sorry she died,ł he nodded, looking older than his thirty-three years now that there was no laughter in his face. ęBut Iłm not sorry that I
knew her, that I loved her, even if it was only for a very brief time,ł he announced with feeling. ęThe
tabloids are always speculating as to why I havenłt married again.ł He pulled a face. ęI donłt think
any of them would understand if I
said Iłve had my love and shełs irreplaceable.ł

Christi felt
like crying, ashamed of her own self-pity tonight. Lucas might be out of her reach, but at least he was alive, at least she was
able to look at him and know that she
loved him!

ęIrreplaceable, yes,ł
she clasped Davidłs hand across the
table, ębut, as that old saying goes, "when
one door closes another one opens". The door on your love for Sara has closed, David,ł she said softly. ęBut there is room in your heart for someone
else, IÅ‚m sure of it.Å‚

He turned
his hand over, taking her hand into his, gently smoothing the delicate skin
there. ęYour he
prompted huskily.

ęNo,ł she said regretfully.

He gave a
rueful smile, releasing her hand. ęI didnłt think so,ł he accepted without rancour. ęDoes Dizzy know
about this man in your life?Å‚

She didnłt question how he knew she was
in love with someone else; she had greatly
underestimated this man, believed him
to be something of a playboy, when he
was really gentle and kind, with a perception beyond words. ęNo,ł she
sighed.

ęI
didnłt think so,ł he smiled, the sadness fading from his eyes. ęIf she did, Dick, Barry and I wouldnłt have been the ones invited for last weekend,ł
he mocked.

ęAnd Dizzy would be making my life more
miserable than it already is!Å‚ she grimaced.

David gave
her a searching look. ęYou mean,ł he said slowly, ęthis man doesnłt return
your feelings?Å‚ He
looked disbelieving.

ęDoesnłt
return them. Doesnłt want them,ł she added,
bitter at the way Lucas had let her continue to make a fool of herself all these
years. She felt so
angry at the way he must have been humouring her all this
time. Just like the child he still believed her to be ...

A child? My God, she
was almost twenty-two years old, and a lot of women were
married with children by this age. The majority of her friends were, for a
start, including Dizzy. Damn Lucas and his patronising gentleness; it was the
last thing she wanted from him!

ęThe manłs a fool,ł David murmured across the table from her.

ęYes,ł she said firmly. ęYes, he is,ł she dismissed. David
grinned appreciatively. ęDo I detect a spark of rebellion in those amazing blue
eyes?ł he teased. ęYou most certainly do,ł she acknowledged with satisfaction.

ęGoing to give him hell, hmm?ł he said
ruefully. Christi gave a rueful shake of her
head. ęIłm going to give him nothing,
David,ł she stated flatly. ęI thought
he was my friend, but ę She shrugged dismissively. ęNow I just feel a fool for loving
him all this time.Å‚ She sighed.

Davidłs
expression gentled. ęIłm afraid that making a fool of yourself is part of
being in love,ł he told her softly. ęTake the word of the man who was still
sporting the black eye at his wedding that his bride had given him at their very
first meeting!Å‚

Christiłs
mouth quirked. ęIłd really like to hear about this courtship some time.ł She
smiled her amusement at the idea of any woman punching this man in the eye, let
alone marrying him a week later! He chuckled.
ęAnd Iłd enjoy telling it to you. But
therełs no rush,ł he said confidently. ęI have the feeling you and I are
going to be good friends.Å‚

She did
too, and this would be a genuine friendship, with no deeper love hidden
on either side. She couldnłt help but admire Davidłs frankness
in explaining to her how much he had loved his wife, how much he still loved
her. If nothing else, she should thank Dizzy for introducing her to a new friend.

ęLetłs
go and have a brandy at my apartment,Å‚ she suggested impulsively as they
were asked if they wanted a liqueur after their coffee.

David nodded dismissively to the waiter.
ęSounds like a good idea,ł he told Christi
warmly, holding her arm lightly as they stood up to leave.

David kept
up a light conversation as he drove them both to her apartment, Christi as
relaxed in his company as she used to be in Lucasłsbefore things had changed so drastically
between them.

Thinking of Lucas sobered her, and she
was very quiet as they went up to her apartment. She couldnłt help wondering if Lucas had bothered to keep to his unspoken rule of not bringing women back to his apartment for the night. Did the same rule
still apply when the woman was your ex-wife? she wondered bitterly.

ęIf
youłve had second thoughts about the brandy


ęCertainly
not!Å‚ Christi roused herself, smiling brightly,
realising what rotten company she had been the last few minutes. She put her
arm companionably through the crook of Davidłs.
ęIłm hoping to persuade you to tell me
all about what sounds like an
explosive courtship,Å‚ she confided with relish, unlocking her door.

David
grinned. ęI

ęChristi, I
wantoh!Å‚ A stony-faced Lucas came to an abrupt halt in the doorway of his
apartment as he saw she wasnłt alone. ęKendrick,ł he greeted
icily.

ęHello,
Lucas,ł David returned speculatively. ęI had no idea you lived in this apartment building, too.ł He eyed
the other man questioningly.

ęTherełs no reason why you should have
known,Å‚ Lucas rasped, his expression cold.

Christi had
been struck dumb as soon as Lucas had put in his unexpected appearance.
His bow-tie had been
removed, his snowy-white shirt was partly unbuttoned
at the neck, black evening trousers tailored to his lean waist and thighs. Was Marsha waiting in his
apartment even now for him to rejoin her? What
could be so important to say to her that he had interrupted his evening with the other woman, anyway?

ęNo,ł
David accepted lightly, lean fingers covering Christiłs as her hand had tightened convulsively on his arm at her first sight of Lucas. ęNice
to have seen you again. If youłll excuse us?ł he effectively dismissed
the other man.

Lucasłs
mouth thinned, his eyes narrowed to icy slits. ęChristi,
I want to talk to you,Å‚ he told her tightly.

She had regained much of the composure
she had lost when hełd appeared so suddenly, her gaze direct and unblinking. ęCanłt
it wait until morning?Å‚ she dismissed coolly.
ęDavid and I were just about to have
anightcap.Å‚ She was deliberately provocative in her claim, sensing
Davidłs amusement at her side. He really was the nicest man.

Lucasłs expression became thunderous as
he drew in a controlling breath. ęI really
think it would be better if we talked right now,Å‚ he bit out with abrupt
precision.

ęYou

ęWhy donłt I go and wait in your
apartment for you, Christi?Å‚ David suggested lightly, patting
her hand encouragingly. ęAfter all,ł he added
mockingly, ęwe have all night; Iłm sure we can spare Lucas a few minutes of your time.ł

Christi shot
him a grateful look, her smile fading and her eyes hardening as she turned back
to Lucas. ęIłll just be a few moments,ł she
told him coldly. ęIf you would like
to wait in your own apartment?Å‚ she added pointedly, as he stood
watching them.

He turned
abruptly on his heel and slammed the door behind him.

ęSo much for consideration for our
neighbours,Å‚ Christi muttered as she followed David into the apartment, her
gaze averted in embarrassed awkwardness as
she introduced him to Henry, Gladys and Josephine, her hands trembling as she
poured him the promised brandy.

David moved
to stand behind her, his hands coming down to rest comfortingly on her shoulders. Å‚We can talk about him or not, Christi,Å‚ he assured
her gently. ęWhatever youłre
comfortable with, OK?Å‚ He looked down
at her encouragingly as he turned her to face him.

She closed
her eyes, biting her bottom lip to stop it
trembling, tears shimmering in her eyes as she raised her lids. ęMaybe later,ł she
offered ruefully.

He squeezed
her shoulders reassuringly. ęWhatever,ł he repeated softly.

She drew in
a ragged breath. ęIłd better go and see what he wants.ł

David grinned, releasing her. ęFrom the
smoke coming out of his ears when he saw me
with you, I would say the first thing
hełll do is warn you what a bad boy I am,ł he said self-derisively.

ęWhereas youłre really just a nice man
who has offered to be my friend,Å‚ she reminded defensively.

ęDonłt
tell Lucas that!ł he warned, scandalised. ęMy reputation will be in shreds if it gets around Iłve been offering nothing but friendship to a beautiful
woman!Å‚

Christi
chuckled at his nonsense. ęI promise not to tell him,ł she said drily.

He
laughed softly. ęI didnłt think you would!ł

They shared
a smile of complete understanding; she no more wanted Lucas to know that yet another handsomely devastating man had been unable to offer her more than friendship, than David wanted it
to be public knowledge that no woman had meant anything to him since Sara, his
wife.

David settled down in an armchair, the
two cats instantly vying for position on his lap, David watching them bemusedly. ęIf you need any help next door just
shout,Å‚ he offered absently.

Her mouth
set determinedly. ęI may not be the one shouting for help!ł

He grinned
appreciatively. ęLucas is big enough to take care of himself,ł he dismissed,
sipping his brandy
unconcernedly.

Christi
didnłt even bother to knock on the door of the
apartment next door; if Lucas had Marsha in there with him, that was his fault! He was alone in the lounge, his face looking as if it were carved from granite, watching her approach
with narrowed silver eyes.

Christi stopped several feet away,
facing him defiantly. ęI have someone waiting
for me,Å‚ she finally reminded harshly
as he made no attempt to speak.

A nerve
pulsed in Lucasłs jaw. ęWaiting for what?ł he rasped. ęChristi,ł his voice
softened as she gave an outraged gasp, ęI respect and admire David
Kendrick immensely as a businessman, but as a man

ęAs a man, you think hełs nothing but a
user of women,ł she finished furiously. ęI
suppose you
would know all
about men like that.Å‚

Lucasłs
face darkened ominously. ęWhat the hell is that supposed to mean?ł

Christi eyed him contemptuously. ęWhere
is Marshawaiting for you in the bedroom?Å‚

ęMarsha?ł
he frowned. ęBut

ęDonłt tell
me.ł She held up silencing hands. ęIłm not interested in whether you intend
making love to your ex-wife here or back at
her home. What I do object to is your
thinking you have some right to make judgements about the people in my life!Å‚ Her eyes glittered angrily.

ęDavid Kendrick in particular?ł he said,
his voice dangerously soft.

ęYes,ł
she challenged, her head back proudly. ęIłve
only been out with him one evening, but I already know hełs a man I can admire and respectin every way!ł

Lucas drew
in a harshly furious breath. ęEnough to go to bed with him?ł

ęThatłs my business.ł Her voice had
risen angrily, for she was more furious than
she could ever remember before, with
an anger that had been building since yesterday, ever since she had
found Marsha in Lucasłs apartment for the
second time in a week. ęYou stay out
of my life, Lucas,ł she snapped. ęAnd Iłll stay out of yours!ł

ęBut
Kendrick is a

ęStay out of my life, Lucas,ł she warned,
her eyes flashing.

ęHe
passed the kissing and caressing test with honours, did he?Å‚ Lucas
grated harshly.

ęOh, definitely,ł she bit out
challengingly.

A spasm
moved in his throat. ęThen that leaves only one last test left,ł he muttered
grimly.

ęExactly,ł she acknowledged brittly. ęNow
if this conversation is over

ęChristi!ł
Lucas grasped her arm as she would have turned away. ęDonłt do this!ł he compelled.

ęDonłt you think hełll be an experienced
enough teacher for me?Å‚ she scorned.

He breathed
raggedly. ęDonłt make your first time with a man an act of defiance against me,ł he pleaded softly. ęIf Iłve interfered too much in
your life, then IÅ‚m sorry, but please
donłt

ęYou
arrogant b !ł She broke off disgustedly, flinching out of his grasp. ęMy being with David will have nothing to do with
you,ł she bit out between clenched teeth. ęNow this conversation is definitely over!ł

ęChristi
Ä™

She turned
at the door, her eyes dull with pain. ęItłs over,
Lucas,ł she told him bitterly. ęWhatever it was
between usfriendship, tolerance?ł She shrugged dismissively. ęItłs over.ł

She closed
the door softly behind her, remembering what she had told David earlier this evening about doors opening and closing. The door in her life
behind which Lucas stood was definitely closed. For ever.

CHAPTER FIVE

ęFEELING
better today?Å‚

Christi gave a shaky smile at Davidłs
gentle query. She had remained completely
calm on Saturday night until she had reached the sanctuary of her apartment, and then the enormity of what shełd done had washed over her and she had buried her face in Davidłs shoulder as shełd sobbed out every angry tear. And they had become the cleansing tears
to ease her pain. Except the pain hadnłt
gone away, a dull ache still in her chest.

David had
been wonderful that night, holding her until the tears had stopped, gently
washing her face, asking no questions, but helping her slip off
her dress before
putting her in her bed, kissing her lightly
on the brow before inviting her out to lunch on Monday.

She had fallen
into an exhausted sleep once hełd left, completely drained emotionally. She had barely moved from her bed on Sunday, although she had heard Lucas moving about in the apartment next door. Knowing he was so close, and yet unreachable to her, had made her feel even worse, and shełd resolved to start looking for somewhere else
to live on Monday.

But at least
she had managed to set Dizzy and Zachłs minds at rest about her immediate future when she had made
her customary call to them last night,
managing to instil enthusiasm into her voice as shełd told them of the advertising campaign she was involved in and of her friendship with David, sure that it would help Zach in his decision about the film rights to his book, no matter what David thought
to the contrary.

David. He really was the nicest man she
had ever met. Except Lucas. Oh, damn Lucas,
and the hold he had over her heart and her life! If it werenłt for her love for him, she might have been the
one to open that other door in Davidłs
heart. She was sure she would at least have wanted to try.

Her smile
was wan. ęNot really,ł she sighed heavily.

David shook
his head. ęI didnłt think you would be. Youłve loved him for a very long
time, havenłt you?ł

ęThat shows too, does it?ł she grimaced.

ęNo.ł
He clasped her hand across the table. ęI just remembered after I left you on Saturday night that Lucas was with you at Dizzy and Zachłs wedding last year. I remembered thinking at the time that if Lucas werenłt careful he would
be the one standing before an altar
before too long. With you at his side,Å‚ he explained gently.

ęAs
you see,ł Christiłs voice was brittle, ęhe was very careful!ł She gave a
self-derisive laugh. ęI never even had a chance with him. Never!ł she repeated
disgustedly.

ęHełs a lot older than you

ęNot another one obsessed
with age!Å‚ she scorned impatiently.

He quirked
dark brows. ęLucas has mentioned that too, has he?ł he said slowly.

She sighed
irritably. ęHe never ceases reminding me that hełs
thirty-seven, and, if not actually old enough to
be my father, at least old enough to be an uncle or
much older brother. I already have an uncle, and IÅ‚ve never wanted a brother!Å‚

Davidłs
mouth twisted. ęI doubt if Lucas particularly wanted a niece or a sister, either!ł

ęThen
why relegate me to those roles?Å‚ she derided.

He shrugged. ęProtection?ł

ęFrom
me?ł She nodded dully. ęYes,ł she sighed. ęIt was certainly one way of avoiding any embarrassing
declarations of love from me.Å‚

ęThat
wasnłt quite what I meant

ęOh, believe me, David,ł she said
wearily. ęI know what Iłm talking about.ł She
clearly remembered every humiliating detail of that conversation with
Marsha on Friday night.

David
whistled through his teeth. ęThat was certainly some
argument you and Lucas had on Saturday night! I gather you havenłt spoken to each other sinceno,ł he answered his own question at her
derisive expression. ęFrom the shouting I heard through the walls, I would say the two of you had said enough. What can I say?ł He held up defensive hands as she raised questioning brows. ęI was
wandering around your kitchen when I realised that,
although I couldnłt hear what was being said, I could definitely hear
your raised voices.Å‚

Christi
sighed. ęYoułre lucky thatłs all you heard,ł she derided. ęFor a brief
moment, after I had told Lucas I intended going to bed with you, I
thought he was going to hit me.Å‚ She could still clearly remember that convulsive spasm
in Lucasłs throat, the tightening of his hands into fists.

David gave a
choked laugh. ęIłm not surprised. What I want to know is, what changed your mind between his apartment
and yours?Å‚ he leered.

His teasing
eased her tension, and she found herself returning his smile. ęI hope you
donłt mind my using you in that way,ł she said
apologetically. ęI
was just so angry...Å‚

ęWhat
man could possibly mind being thought worthy
of taking a beautiful woman like you to bed?Å‚ He squeezed her hand
reassuringly.

ęLucas, to name but one,ł she returned
drily. ęOh, why does he have to enter into
the conversation all the time?Å‚ she
said exasperatedly. ęIłm sure you didnłt meet me today to talk about
him!Å‚ she added self-disgustedly.

ęWell, actually...ł

Christi looked sharply at David,
frowning at his rueful expression. ęBut I told you on Saturday that Lucas doesnłt care for me the way I care for him. Therełs
nothing else to say.Å‚

He gave a
gentle smile. ęI told you then, and Iłll tell you again now, you donłt have to
tell me a thing about you and Lucas

ęBecause therełs nothing to tell!ł she bit out dully.

ęI wanted to talk to you about Lucas,ł he reproved
softly.

Christiłs
frown deepened. ęI thought the two of your were merely acquaintances?ł

David
shrugged. ęI think we can actually be classed as
casual friends. Our business dealings mean we
often meet up, and we seem to go to a lot of the same parties.Å‚

ęProbably
know a lot of the same women,Å‚ she sighed.

His mouth
quirked. ęProbably. Although not in the same way,ł he added softly.

Christi blushed, giving a self-disgusted
sigh. ęIłm sorry.ł She shook her head. ęIłm
not normally like this,ł she excused lamely. ęIłm just so angry with Lucas still that But you wanted to tell me something about Lucas,ł she encouraged
briskly.

David
instantly sobered. ęWell, as I said, we go to a lot of the same parties, know a lot
of the same people. One of those people is
Marsha, his ex-wife,Å‚ he added softly.

Christi
tensed, drawing a sharp breath into her lungs. ęOh,
yes?Å‚ she returned casually, so casually it was obviously a forced reaction.

He grinned.
ęAnd when I say "know", I donłt mean biblically,ł he derided.

She put her hand on his in silent
apology for her earlier
remark. ęI realise that,ł she said softly. ęNot that Marsha isnłt a beautiful woman ęI realise that, too,ł
she interrupted sharply.

David eyed her speculatively. ęDid you
also know that the ex-Mrs Kingsley is
thinking of marrying again?Å‚

All the
colour drained from Christiłs cheeks, her eyes wide
and haunted. ęWho?ł she managed to ask in a hushed voice.

But she
didnłt really need to ask, Lucas was the man Marsha
had been seeing all week. God, did Lucas know of the other womanłs plans
for him? Did he know, and just not care what the other woman had
done to him in the past, considered forgiving and forgetting worth having
his children back once more? Ormore painful yetwas it possible
Lucas did still love the woman who had once been his wife?

ęHis name is Julian Holland,ł David put
in softly.

Christi
blinked at him dazedly, still lost in thoughts of
Lucas remarried to the sensually kittenish Marsha; it made her feel ill!

ęThe
man Marsha is contemplating marrying,ł David told her more clearly, ęhis name
is Julian Holland. Hełs something
important in the diplomatic service,Å‚
he added drily. ęMarsha obviously fancies herself as a diplomatłs wife.ł

Christi stared at him in bewilderment.
But it was Lucas Marsha had been seeing all week, Lucas she had claimed was her lover. Claimed ... Oh, God, she
hadnłt fallen for the oldest trick in the book, had she, her own insecurity where Lucas was concerned making her a
prime target for his ex-wife?

ęWhat is it?ł David prompted anxiously at her pained groan. ęDo you know him?ł he frowned.

ęNobut Iłm suddenly
knowing Marsha a lot better than I would ever have wished to,Å‚ she
choked disgustedly. ęOh, my God,ł she
breathed slowly, a look of horror on her face. ęIf Marsha marries this man,
that means he will effectively become Daisy and Robinłs father.ł

ęNot
legally,ł David sighed. ęBut in every other way that matters, their
day-to-day lives, yes,Å‚ he acknowledged heavily.

No wonder Lucas had been drinking on
Tuesday night, if Marsha had just told him
she intended giving their children a stepfather in the near future! God knew, the woman made it as awkward as possible for Lucas to see his children now, but
once she was remarried...

ęThis
must be killing Lucas,ł Christi choked, tears in her eyes. ęEating him
up alive!Å‚

David
nodded slowly. ęIt must be hell for any man put in that position.ł

Lucas must
be going through hell already, and all she had done the last week was make
life even more
difficult for him, forcing herself on him, unwittingly
taking advantage of his disturbed state, and then telling him to stay
out of her life.

Her own hurt
feelings no longer seemed important, just as it no longer mattered
that Lucas had
always known of her love for him. What was important was Lucas himself. And at the moment he was very much in need of a friend, of the friendship
he had never once denied her.

She looked at David with tear-wet eyes. ęIłve
been very stupid and selfish, havenÅ‚t I?Å‚ she said self‑ disgustedly.
ęActing just like that child I keep claiming not to be.ł She shook her head dejectedly. ęAnd now Iłm doing it again,ł she said self-reproachfully, straightening determinedly. ęLucas has been my strength over the last four years; now itłs
my turn to offer him my support.Å‚

David grinned at her. ęIf itłs any
consolation, Iłm sure you arenłt a child.ł

She gave him
a grateful look. ęThank you for telling me about Marsha.ł Her voice
hardened as she
spoke of the other woman. ęIt explains so many things that have been puzzling
me.Å‚

ęI thought it might,ł he drawled. ęMarsha
always reminds me of an octopus, maintaining
one tentacle around all the parts of
her life, past and present. She and
Lucas have been divorced for years, and yet shełs never quite let him go.ł He shook
his head disgustedly.

And obviously the other woman had taken
great pleasure in putting him through hell during the last week!

ęWould
you mind if I didnłt stay for dessert?ł she told David apologetically. ęIłm really not hungry, and II

ęHave a friend to go and see,ł he nodded
understandingly. ęIłll give you a call later
in the week, maybe we can try for lunch again.Å‚

ęI
really am sorry, David

ęDonłt be,ł he reassured her lightly. ęI
envy Lucas like hell,Å‚ he said ruefully.

Christi
gave a shaky smile, moving to kiss him warmly on the cheek before hurrying from
the restaurant. She had to see Lucas,
apologise for her behaviour, tell him that she knew all about Marshałs plans to remarry. All she wanted was for them to be friends again, for him to be able to talk to
her, the way he used to.

Lucas
rented a floor on one of the buildings in the middle of town, having a couple
of assistants and
their secretaries, as well as his own private secretary, working for him. The
outer room was empty when she entered his
office, the secretaryłs desk clear of
papers, evidence that she must have gone out for lunch.

How silly
of her! It stood to reason that if she had been out
to lunch then so were a lot of other people. Lucas included? She
knocked timidly on his office door, opening it to peer inside, expecting the opulence that met her gazethe luxurious brown and cream décor, the imposing mahogany desk. She was a little unnerved by the man who stood so silently in front of the window that had views over London, the sunshine behind him making it impossible for her to
see his expression.

ęLucas?ł she said tentatively.

He
straightened, stepping away from the sunlight into
the room, his strain instantly obvious as the lines
about his mouth and eyes could clearly be seen, his
mouth set in weary lines. He looked all of his
thirty-seven years at that moment, his expression harshly unapproachable.

Nevertheless,
Christi knew she had to approach him, that after the other night he wasnłt likely to come to her again. And why should he? She was the one who had told him to get out of her life and
stay out! He frowned wearily. ęWhat can I do for you?ł

She wanted
so badly to take the pain and despair out of his eyes, and felt violent
towards Marsha for doing this to him. How
badly everyone suffered after a divorce: the children bewildered because their
parents were no longer together, one of those parents
sad because they were suddenly deprived of the children they loved. Lucas was the type of man who wouldnłt allow his pain to make him so bitter
he couldnłt function without dwelling on the past, but this last blow seemed to have been one too many,
and Christi felt tears in her own eyes as she thought
of Robin and Daisy being brought up by any
other man but Lucas, possibly learning to call that man ęDaddył in time. It wasnłt fair, Lucas had done nothing
wrong, he didnłt deserve this pain.

But he
looked as if her sympathy would be the ęstraw that
broke the camelłs backł, as if he would crack under
the strain if she said one word about Robin and Daisy, and Marshałs remarriage.

She forced a
bright smile to her lips. ęI was shoppingI didnłt see anything I liked,ł
she excused as his
brows rose questioningly at her empty hands.
Damn, she may be an actress, but her lies could certainly do with improving! ęAnd so I thought, why donłt I
go and see if Lucas is free for lunch?Å‚ She
looked at him enquiringly, acting as if she couldnłt see his strain. As
if she didnłt know every
mood change this man made! ęAre you?ł she prompted
lightly, knowing she wouldnłt be able to eat a thing, but from the look of Lucas he hadnłt eaten much at
all the last few days; his skin had an unhealthy pallor, adding to his look of
strain.

His expression softened slightly. ęIłm
not really hungry, Christi, although I do
appreciate the thought,Å‚ he bit out curtly.

He certainly
wasnłt going to make this easy for her. And why should he? She had behaved
like a shrew on Saturday night, and Lucas hadnłt even realised what she was so angry about!

ęOh,
come on, Lucas,ł she cajoled softly. ęI know I was a bitch on Saturday
night, but you know how emotional women get.ł She hated it when men put womenłs emotionalism down to ęthat certain time of the monthł, but, without introducing the subject
of Marshałs visits to his apartment, something that was sure to deepen
the pain in his already shadowed eyes, she
didnłt know what else to do! ęAnd it did seem as if you were treating me a little too much like a child,ł
she teased.

He held up
defensive hands, lithe and attractive in the dark
blue suit, although even that seemed a little
looser on him than the last time he had worn that
particular suit; he wasnłt eating properly. ęI realised
immediately afterwards that I had overstepped the boundaries of our
friendshipł

ęWe
donłt have boundaries to our friendship, Lucas,ł she cut in sharply.

He sighed, running a hand through the thickness of his hair. ęEvery friendship has boundaries, Christi,ł he said
heavily. ęAnd just lately Iłve been going way too far over ours,ł he
grated harshly.

The kissing
and caressing ... But she wouldnłt change a moment of those times she had
been in his arms, she knew they were possibly the only memories she
would ever have. ęDid it seem as if I minded?ł she prompted softly.

Lucas drew
in a harsh breath. ęThat isnłt the point,ł he rasped. ęI had no right Are
you and David Kendrick still seeing
each other?Å‚ He looked at her with narrowed eyes.

After the earlier lie she had told him,
she couldnłt say she had just had lunch with the other man, but neither could she let him think she had carried out
her threat of Saturday night with that
ęone final test She gave an
exaggerated sigh. ęI think there must be
something wrong with me,ł she bemoaned. ęEvery sexually attractive man I
meet offers me friendship, rather than


ęKendrick
didnłt make love to you Saturday night?ł Lucas demanded tautly.

She knew David would forgive her for
telling the truth, that he was the type of
man who really didnłt give a damn
what people thought about him, or the fact that he had ęoffered a beautiful
woman only friendshipł. ęI told you, he wants to be my friend,ł she grimaced. ęYoułll have to tell me what
my secret is, Lucasso that I can do something to change it!Å‚ she said
disgustedly.

He relaxed
slightly. ęIłm not sure I want you to do anything to change it,ł he told her
ruefully. ęIdonłt think Iłm ready to lose my
friend just yet,Å‚ he shrugged apologetically.

Her expression softened. ęYoułll never
lose my friendship, Lucas,Å‚ she assured him
gruffly. ęThere may be times when you
wish you could, but Iłm afraid youłre stuck with me for life.ł

A nerve pulsed in his jaw. ęPromise?ł

Christi
flinched inwardly at the loneliness and despair in
that question. Strange, she had never thought of Lucas as being lonely before,
but after knowing the companionship of a
family for those years it must have been difficult for him to adjust to
being on his own again. No wonder he had taken such pleasure in being so protective of her the last few years! While the women in his life changed, with regularity, she had become
the constant in his life;
she wasnłt about to let him down again!

ęI
promise.ł She put her arm through the crook of his. ęNow, are you going to take me out to lunch or do I have
to kidnap you?Å‚ she teased to ease his tension.

He gave a
rueful smile. ęIłd like to see you try! But I
really canłt spare the time for lunch today,ł he told her
regretfully. ęI have an appointment inten minutes,ł he said, glancing at his
wristwatch.

Which meant
he wouldnłt be bothering to eat lunch at all today, she thought. ęThen I
insist you come over
for dinner tonight,ł she decided firmly. ęUnlessyou have a date?ł She frowned
her sudden uncertainty.

His mouth twisted. ęNo date. Iłll bring the wine, shall I?ł

She smiled her relief at his acceptance.
ęMake it champagne,ł she encouraged, her eyes alight with mischief. ęWe havenłt celebrated my new job yet,ł she
explained at his raised eyebrows.

ęSo we havenłt,ł Lucas gave an indulgent
smile. ęChampagne it is,ł he promised lightly.

Christi
reached up the couple of inches it took to put her on the same level as his
cheek, allowing herself the indulgence of her
lips against the firmness of his skin.
ęIłll see you tonight.ł She stepped
back, her expression deliberately casual. ęAbout eight ołclock.ł

ęItłs
a date,Å‚ he nodded as he walked with her to the door.

If only it were! But she had Lucasłs friendship back, and that was all that was important.

CHAPTER SIX AFTER

another
week of watching Lucas suffer in silence, Christi wasnłt so sure of that.

Oh, their
friendship seemed to have returned to its previous familiarity, and yet not
once had Lucas mentioned to her Marshałs plans to remarry.

He couldnłt
have forgiven her for her uncharacteristic behaviour last week if
he didnłt feel he could talk to her about his problems, she decided. And yet he discussed business
with her as he usually did, spent a couple of
evenings of the next week at her
apartment just chatting the way they used to. But there was no mention
of Marsha.

Christi didnłt know what to do. She was
sure the problem was just festering and growing inside him, tearing him apart, but until he spoke to her about
it she didnłt feel able to offer her sympathy.

She felt
sure he would mention something about it when he told her he was having the
children on Saturday, a move from the normal weekend he was allowed every month. But, other than inviting her to join them at the coast for the day, he said nothing.

Christi enjoyed Robin and Daisyłs
company; she couldnłt fault the polite, fun-loving children Marsha had brought
them up to be, and was easily able to understand Lucasłs dilemma when it had
come to custody of them and he had realised they would be happier with their
mother.

But he
couldnłt still feel that way, Christi thought as she
watched Lucas building sandcastles with the two
children. Their relationship was unmistakableRobin,
a seven-year-old version of his father, Daisy, a feminine version of Lucas, too, obviously going to be a beauty in the years to come.
She was sure Lucas couldnłt bear the idea of giving their upbringing
into another manłs care. They were such
adorable children, so spontaneously affectionate, that she just wanted to take them home so that Lucas could have
them with him always. And she knew he
had to feel the same way; she hadnłt missed
the sadness in his eyes, when he thought no one was looking, as he gazed
at his children.

ęWill
you come and help me, Christi?Å‚ Daisy asked
in her shy little voice, standing in front of Christi with her bucket and spade, a little frill around the bottom of her flowered bathing costume. ęDaddy and Robin have challenged us to a
sandcastle contest.Å‚

ęOf
course Iłll help you.ł She reached up to hug the little girl, her breath catching in her throat as she saw Lucas watching them steadily, pain etched into his face. Christi gazed back at him over the top of Daisyłs silky head, wanting to reach out and
hug him too, hating that deep-down
sadness about him that not even
spending an unexpected day with his
children could erase. Because he wanted them for much more than a day! But she was sure neither of the children noted their fatherłs distracted mood, they were simply loving their day at the beach. The only note of discord came on the drive back to their motherłs house.

ęWill
Mummy and Uncle Julian be home yet?Å‚ Robin asked sleepily from the back
seat.

Christiłs breath was drawn sharply into
her lungs, and she glanced anxiously at
Lucas, her heart aching at the naked
pain in his eyes. She longed to reach
out to him, to reassure him with her touch, but if she did that she would be letting him know she had been
aware all along of Marshałs plans to remarry.
And that would probably hurt him more than telling her about it himself!
So she remained quiet, unmoving, her hands clenched
tightly in her lap.

ęI
should think so, Robin,ł his father answered lightly. ęThey just had somearrangements to see to today,ł he
excused, his grim expression in no way reflected in his casual tone.

ęDo
you like Uncle Julian, Daddy?ł Daisy asked with the innocence of youth, having no idea that the idly put question had caused her fatherłs hands
to tighten fiercely on the steering wheel.

ęDaisy!ł Robin hissed beside his sister.

ęWell,
I only asked,Å‚ Daisy told him defensively, a telltale quiver to her
voice at this rebuke from her secretly admired older brother.

ęWell, you shouldnłt have done,ł Robin continued to chastise. ęDonłt you know

ęHey, come on, kids,ł Lucas chided lightly. ęLetłs not have an argument about this, all right? I donłt
really know Uncle Julian, Daisy,Å‚ he
gently answered her question. ęSo I
donłt know whether or not I like him.
I think the important thing is, do you and Robin like him?Å‚

Christi
turned away to look out of the side windows, blinking back the tears that
threatened to fall. This was only the start for Lucas; it
could only get worse as the other man became a permanent fixture in his childrenłs lives.

ęHełs
all right,ł Robin dismissed moodily. ęAt least he doesnłt talk to me as
if IÅ‚m a baby.Å‚

ęAnd he sometimes reads me my bedtime
story,Å‚ Daisy added with satisfaction.

This time
Christi couldnłt prevent it, the action was purely
instinctive; she reached blindly for Lucasłs hand, the tears falling
unashamedly down her
cheeks now.

But her
vision cleared just as Lucasłs hand clasped hers, naked agony in Lucasłs
eyes as he briefly
met her gaze.

Daisy had
only been just over a year old when her parentsł marriage had broken up, had
grown up with the knowledge that as far as she was concerned her
mummy and daddy had always lived apart; she would have the least trouble adapting to another man in her motherłs life. Whereas Robin had
been a little older, two and a half, and still remembered the joy of being a real family, which made him slightly resent the intrusion of another man
in his fatherłs place. But he wasnłt openly antagonistic
towards Julian Holland as a stepfather, which meant he, too, would
adapt, in time.

Lucas was
the one who would never be able to accept the other manłs usurpation of his
place in his
childrenłs lives.

ęThatłs
nice,Å‚ Lucas answered his daughter gruffly.

ęAlthough
he doesnłt do it as well as you do, Daddy,ł Daisy assured him
guilelessly.

Lucas
briefly squeezed Christiłs hand, as if thanking her
for her support, before returning his own hand back to the steering wheel. ęGive
him a chance, poppet,ł he told his daughter lightly. ęUncle Julian isnłt quite
used to being around little children yet; hełll learn.ł

ęThatłs
what I saidouch!Å‚ Daisy let out a yell as her brother obviously meted out retribution for her
thoughtlessness. ęThat hurt,ł she said tearfully.

ęRobin!ł Lucas reproved sternly.

ęSorry,ł
his son muttered moodily. ęBut sometimes
Daisy can be such a

ęThat will be enough, Robin,ł his father told him firmly. ęIUncle
Julian is going to be in your lives from now
on, so you might as well accept that.Å‚

ęBut donłt you care thatthat

ęOf course I care, Robin.ł Lucasłs voice
was harsher than he would have wished, Christi knew, for the subject was one that had to be
handled with extreme delicacy. ęBut we have no
choice but to accept that your mother
loves Uncle Julian, that she wants him
in her life. And consequently that means hełs in your lives, too.ł His
tone had gentled.

ęIłll always be your daddy, youłll
always be able to come to me if you have a problem.Å‚

ęCouldnłt
we come and live with you?Å‚ Robin asked petulantly.

Christi
stopped breathing altogether. This was far from the
perfect place for a father and his children to be having this conversation, but unfortunately Lucas hadnłt been able to choose the time and place, but had to answer his childrenłs uncertainties as they came up. Nevertheless, Christi
felt as if she were intruding on
something that was just too private to
be witnessed by what amounted to an outsider. She wished she could just
disappear into the night, trying to
make herself as inconspicuous as possible.

A nerve
pulsed in Lucasłs cheek. ęAnd what would Mummy do then?ł he pointed out
gently. ęShe loves
you very much, you know.Å‚

ęI know,ł Robin accepted carelessly. ęBut
she has Uncle Julian now, and you donłt have
anyone.ł There was no arguing with logic like that, and Christi wondered what Lucasłs answer would be. ęI
have my friends, Robin,ł he told his son softly. ęLike Aunty Christi?ł Daisy put in brightly. ęLike Aunty Christi,ł Lucas nodded abruptly. ęBut
she doesnłt live with you ... Does she ... ?ł

Robin frowned his uncertainty.

ęYou
know she doesnłt,ł his father reproved. ęBut shełs at your apartment a lot,ł Daisy chimed in pertly.

ęThatłs
the way friends are, Daisy,Å‚ Lucas told her gently.

ęUncle
Julian is going to live with us,Å‚ Daisy frowned.

ęThatłs
because he and your mother love each other,Å‚ Lucas said harshly.

ęDonłt
you love Aunty Christi?Å‚ His daughter looked puzzled.

ęOf course I love Aunty Christi,ł Lucas
replied patiently. ęI told you, wełre friends, and friends care about each
other.Å‚

ęBut

ęStop being silly, Daisy,ł her brother rebuked scoffingly. ęHeather is my friend, but Iłm not
going to marry her!Å‚ His tone left no doubt as to what he thought of that idea concerning his schoolfriend!

ęIłm not silly,ł Daisy protested rebelliously. ęYoułre the
one thatłs silly. You

ęI said no
arguments, children,ł Lucas put in softly. ęWełre almost home, and we donłt want your mother to think you havenłt enjoyed your day at the
beach, do we?Å‚ he lightly chided.

Christi had no doubt that the idea would
please Marsha immensely! The other woman made her so angry, having no
compunction in changing Lucasłs plans to be with his children whenever it
suited her, but quite willing to use him as
the willing babysitter he obviously was whenever it fell in with her plans.

It was now obvious that Marsha had only
let him have the children today so that she could spend time with Julian Holland. It was also obvious that, although
the other man was still something of an unknown
quantity to Daisy and Robin, they already liked him. Lucas was having to
walk a very thin line between his dislike of the idea of the children having a stepfather and not letting the children know of his feelings. And it obviously wasnłt easy for
him to do.

Marsha
Kingsleyłs house was ablaze with lights as the car
turned into the driveway, the children jumping up
and down on their seat at the thought of telling
their mother all about the lovely day they had had,
their earlier disquiet forgotten for the moment.

Lucas had
come to the house alone to pick up the children this morning, returning for
Christi, and it hadnłt
occurred to her until this moment that she might
actually have to see Marsha and her fiancé when they took the children
home.

She
hesitated in her seat as Lucas helped the children out of the back.

Lucas bent down to talk to her. ęComing
inside?Å‚

She
grimaced. ęI think Iłll just wait out here.ł She shook her head, not at all
eager for another encounter
with Marsha Kingsley.

Lucas
nodded, the children having already run up to the
house to ring the doorbell. ęI canłt say Iłm exactly looking forward to this
myself,Å‚ he acknowledged grimly.

There was a
pale green BMW parked in the driveway next to Marshałs grey Mercedes,
and it didnłt take much intelligence to realise the
second car must
belong to Julian Holland.

Christi made
her decision quickly and unhesitantly, opening her car door to step out on to the gravel driveway. ęI think I will come in, after
all,Å‚ she told Lucas lightly.

He gave her a derisive look as she
walked around the car to his side. ęIłm not
looking forward to it,ł he drawled. ęBut I can handle it.ł

Christi gave
a careless shrug. ęI donłt really feel like sitting out here in the car.ł

Lucas
squeezed her arm as he took hold of her elbow to walk beside her up to the door
that now stood open, Marsha reflected in the light. ęThanks,ł
he murmured before they came into earshot of the other woman.

ęLucas,ł
Marsha drawled, her sharp hazel gaze turning to Christi. ęAnd little
Christi,ł she greeted mockingly. ęDid you
enjoy your day at the beach, dear?Å‚
she taunted as she held the door open wider for them to enter.

She felt Lucasłs fingers tighten on her
arm at the deliberate challenge, but her own
expression remained impassively calm.
ęOf course, youłre a little old to
enjoy such pleasant pastimes, arenłt you?ł she returned sweetly.

Marshałs mouth twisted. ęLetłs just say
I prefer myamusements, to be a little more
mature than days at the beach,Å‚ she drawled.

Christi smiled confidently, her arm
possessively through the crook of Lucasłs;
this woman had made her turn tail and
run once, she wouldnłt succeed in doing
it again. ęOh, I enjoy those sort of amusements, too, at the right time,ł
she taunted huskily.

Marshałs
gaze narrowed on the way Christi and Lucas stood so close together. ęI hope you kept thisrelationship
from the children?Å‚ she snapped.

ęOh, you neednłt worry, Marsha dear,ł
Christi answered before Lucas could, patting
the other womanłs arm reassuringly. ęRobin
and Daisy are still as innocent as Ifortunately!am not.Å‚ The statement was a double-edged sword, telling this woman of her confidence in her own femininity, but also warning her that she was completely wise to the deceit she had practised a week ago, and
that she wouldnłt fall for it a second time.

She could
tell by the way Marshałs lips thinned that neither meaning had been lost on
her, and her gaze was angry as it once again swept over the two
of them. ęI suppose
if you want to make a fool of yourself,
Lucas---- Ä™

ęI donłt
believe Lucas is the one making a fool of himself,Å‚
Christi cut in bravely, her eyes as hard as the sapphires they resembled.

Marsha
flushed. ęWhat the hell do you mean by that?ł Her eyes flashed fire.

Christi met
her gaze unflinchingly. ęYou must admit, it is a little odd for you to be behaving so possessively
towards your ex-husband when, as I understand
it, youłre thinking of being married again quite soonto someone else!ł

The other womanłs mouth tightened even
more. ęYou

ęDarling, surely you arenłt going to keep
Lucasand his friend,Å‚ added the short,
slightly overweight man, with receding blond hair, who had joined them from the lounge, as he saw Christi
standing at Lucasłs side, ęstanding out here all evening?ł

This was Julian
Holland? He wasnłt at all what Christi had been expecting, and she stared at
him in open
astonishment.

He wasnłt
much taller than Marshałs five foot five in her three-inch-heel sandals, for
one thing, and was certainly a couple of inches shorter than Christi herself. And, although his looks
were quite pleasantwarm brown eyes and a round, friendly facehe wasnłt what Christi could call in the
least sexy or heart-stoppingly
attractive the way Lucas was.
Although his suit was obviously an expensive one, it didnłt look half as good on him as Lucas did in jeans and a casual shirt, for Julianłs
stocky build was only slightly concealed by the excellent tailoring.

But he
obviously was Julian Holland, his arm moving
lightly about Marshałs waist as he reached her side,
his bulkier appearance making Marsha look tinier than ever.

Lucas was the first to recover. ęHolland.ł
He held out his hand politely.

Something
in Lucasłs tone put the other man on his guard, Julian Holland eyeing him
warily. ęKingsley,ł
he returned slowly.

Lucas nodded tersely. ęIf I could just
say goodbye to the children?Å‚ He turned to Marsha.

Marshałs gaze swept challengingly over Christi before settling on Lucas. ęDonłt you want to help me put them to bed, the way you usually do when you
bring them home?Å‚ she suggested huskily.

His gaze
unconsciously turned to Christi before he shook his
head. ęI donłt think


ęPlease go ahead and help put the
children to bed, Lucas,Å‚ Christi cut in sharply, knowing he must be longing to
spend even that little more time with the children he saw all too infrequently.
ęIłm sure Mr Holland and I can amuse
ourselves while we wait in the lounge for the two of you.Å‚ She gave the
other man a brief smile, having chosen her wording carefully, knowing Marsha hadnłt missed the implication. She looked
outraged by the challenge.

Lucas
hesitated. ęIf youłre sure you donłt mind ... ?ł

ęOf
course I donłt,ł her smile was warm with feeling as she turned to him, ęand Iłm sure the children will
love it,Å‚ she added indulgently.

While Lucas
rounded up the children for their baths, Julian Holland moved to pour
Christi a drink, Christi and Marsha eyeing each other speculatively.

A grudging
respect slowly entered the other womanłs eyes. ęYou really did grow up, didnłt you?ł she mused.

Christi gave
an abrupt inclination of her head. ęI really did.ł

Marsha glanced at Lucas as he laughingly
threw Daisy over his shoulder to carry her
out of the room. ęBut I wonder if you grew up enough?ł she murmured
without a second glance, following theman
who had once been her husband, and her children, from the room.

Christi let out a shaky breath, sitting
down in the nearest chair before she fell
down. Marsha might be going to marry
the pleasant-faced man who was now
handing her the sherry she had requested, but she certainly had no intention of
relinquishing her claim on Lucas at the same time!

ęCheers!ł Julian Holland held up his
glass before taking an obviously welcome swallow of the whisky inside it. ęHave
you knownerLucas, long?ł he enquired casually as he sat down opposite her, obviously awkward with the familiarity after Lucasłs terse
formality.

ęSeveral
years,Å‚ she nodded abruptly, feeling a little
sorry for him, but also very much aware that he was the reason for Lucasłs
present unhappiness.

His eyes widened. ęReally? I wouldnłt
have thoughtyou donłt look old enoughwell,
isnłt that nice!ł He gave a bright, meaningless smile.

For a diplomat, this man certainly wasnłt
very diplomatic! ęIsnłt it?ł she agreed
drily. ęHave you known Marsha very long?ł He couldnłt have done if he
were contemplating marrying her! He smiled as
he thought of the woman he loved. ęA few months.ł

ęHow nice.ł She turned away
uninterestedly, pretending interest in one of
the paintings that hung on the wall.
It wasnłt this manłs fault, and under any
other circumstances she would probably have liked him, but she couldnłt
help but feel angry at what this manłs marriage to Marsha would do to Lucas.

ęDo you like that?ł He
squinted up at the abstract painting Christi was staring at so fixedly.

How could
anyone like green and pink lines on a canvas? ęNo,ł she answered with blunt
honesty, sighing as the man opposite her looked uncomfortable. ęLook,
Iłm sorry, thisthis awkward situation isnłt your fault, but I donłt
think either of us really
feels like making polite conversation.Å‚

ęNo,ł
he conceded with a weary sigh, relaxing back in his chair slightly. ęIt is a little awkward, isnłt it?ł

A little? It
was impossible! But if she had been the woman
in Lucasłs life, as this man believed her to be, it would have been even more
uncomfortable.

God, if shełd
really had the right to tell Marsha what she thought of her, she certainly wouldnłt have hit out at the other woman with veiled innuendoes about Lucas and herself, she would have left Marsha in no doubt as to her claim to him and would have shown Marsha that she could have a fight on her hands for custody of the children. Instead, she had to stand by and watch Marsha destroy Lucas that little bit more. No wonder Lucas was incapable of loving another woman after Marsha!
She had taken all he had to give, was still taking what little peace of mind he managed to attain for himself.

The silence
in the room as they waited for the return of Lucas and Marsha was very
uncomfortable, and
Christi passed the time by looking at eachof
the abstract paintings in turn and trying to visualise what had sparked
off the monstrosities in the artistłs mind
in the first place. She had just decided the one on the far wall was a bloated fish when Lucas and Marsha
came into the room.

Under any other circumstances, their
flushed and dishevelled appearance would have looked highly suspect, but the
damp patches on their clothing told their own story, although the indulgent
smiles they shared about their childrenłs
antics in the bath caused a painful lurch in Christiłs chest.

She stood up jerkily. ęFinished?ł Her
voice was unnaturally high, her cheeks flushed.

ęI---------ł


ęCook is
just about to serve dinner,ł Marsha lightly interrupted Lucas. ęIłm sure
therełs enough for
fourif you would care to stay?Å‚

If you
would dare to stay! Christi read the challenge clearly in her words. The last
thing she wanted was to sit down to dinner
with this woman in the name of
civilised behaviour, and yet she knew that if Lucas chose to accept she
would be at his side.

She
deliberately kept her expression bland, her gaze averted, not wanting to influence
his decision.

ęThanks
for the invitation, Marsha,ł Lucasłs hand came to rest lightly against
Christiłs back, ębut Iłm afraid wełve made other arrangements.ł

Christiłs
breath left her in a relieved sigh, and as she looked up at Lucas she could see the
amusement in his eyes, evidence that she had given herself away seconds ago.
She returned his smile ruefully.

ęIn
that case, donłt let us keep you,ł Marshałs caustic voice interrupted the moment of shared humour.

Lucas
nodded abruptly to Julian Holland as he stood up,
his gaze then flickering to Marsha. ęIf you need
somewhere to park the children again soon, let me know,Å‚ he rasped.

ęI think all the arrangements for the
wedding next month are completed now, thank
you,ł Marsha returned scornfully. ęYoułll
receive your invitation in due time,
of course,ł she added bitchily. ęAnd you must bring dear Christi.ł

Her eyes
narrowed on the other woman. ęI wouldnłt miss it for anything!ł

Marsha gave
a mocking smile. ęAlways the bridesmaid, never the bride",ł she taunted.

Although the barb hit its mark, it wasnłt
obvious from Christiłs relaxed pose at Lucasłs
side. ęIs that an invitation?ł she derided.

ęWhat do
you think?Å‚ Marsha snapped.

Christi gave
her a mocking smile before turning to Julian Holland; the poor man was
starting to look a little dazed by this whole encounter now. ęNice to
have met you, Mr Holland. IÅ‚m sorry the next time
we meet canłt be under better circumstances,ł she added with sweet sarcasm.

How Lucas managed to get her out of the
house without Marsha physically attacking
her she couldnłt say, but minutes later they were in his car, driving away from the house, and she didnłt have a
scratch mark on her! Lucas chuckled at her
side. ęI never thought I would see
the day that Marsha would be left speechless,Å‚ he explained at her
frowning look.

ęWas that what it was?ł she sighed, some
of the tension starting to leave her. ęI thought she was just trying to prevent Julian Holland from seeing her true
nature!Å‚

Lucas instantly sobered, and Christi
could have kicked herself for her lack of
tact. ęYoułll have gathered by now that the two of them are getting
married,Å‚ he bit out abruptly.

How
could she help but know? ęYes,ł she sighed.

ęHe wasnłt quite what I
was expectinghell, I donłt know what I was expecting!ł Lucas shook his head. ęThe kids seem to like him, donłt you think?ł
He glanced at her before his attention
returned to the road in front of them.

ęThey
like you better,Å‚ Christi rasped.

ęAnd the thought of any
other man but me in their life breaks
me up, but Ä™ He broke off abruptly,
sighing heavily. ęWe all had a good day together
today, didnłt we?ł he lightly changed the subject.

ęVery
good,ł she agreed huskily. ęRobin and Daisy are lovely children.ł

ęYes,ł he
said heavily. ęYes, they are.ł

There didnłt
seem to be anything else to say on the subject; Lucas was lost in his own
thoughts as they drove back towards town, and Christi didnłt want to
intrude on those thoughts, knowing he needed this time to himself.

Finally he gave a deep sigh, shaking off
his oppressive mood. ęShall we go home and change first before going out to
dinner, or do you want to find somewhere
that will accept us dressed like this?Å‚ He looked down ruefully at the denims
they both wore, he with an
open-necked shirt, Christi with a pale blue blouse.

She was
surprised to learn that he had meant it about the two of them having dinner
together, had thought it had just been a way
to get away from Marshałs invitation.
After all, it was a Saturday night,
and Lucas usually had a date on a Saturday night.

ęNo
Michelle tonight?Å‚ she enquired lightly.

He smiled
teasingly. ęI would hardly be asking you to go out to dinner with me if there were.ł

Now, there
was a logic she couldnłt argue withand didnłt want to! She was glad the
other woman at last
seemed to have faded from his life. ęI could always
get us something at my apartment,ł she offered. ęI feel a little too
salty and sandy still to go straight out,Å‚
she explained as he hesitated. ęAnd it
will be a little late to go anywhere by the time wełve both showered and
changed.Å‚

ęAsking
you to cook dinner doesnłt seem very fair
after youłve helped me entertain the children all day,ł he frowned.

She should
have known the dinner invitation was a thank you for going out with them today! ęI really donłt mind,ł
she said a little flatly.

ęWhat
if I cook dinner, instead?Å‚ he suggested lightly, giving her a brief
grin. ęYou seem just assleepy from your day
by the sea as the children were!Å‚

Just what
she needed, to be classed with a six-and seven-year-old! ęIłm fine,ł she
reassured him sharply. ęMore than capable of cooking us some dinner.ł

ęOK,ł
Lucas accepted shruggingly.

Christi
hurried into her own apartment once they got back,
anxious to wash the salt and sand from her body
now, absently acknowledging Lucasłs comment of ęsee you soonł.

If nothing
else, she needed these few minutes alone to put the meeting with Marsha
from her mind. The
other woman was a possessive bitch who kept
Lucas tied to her by using their children, and who had made it obvious she didnłt intend relinquishing that hold
even once she had remarried, by reminding
him all too forcefully of his relationship with her through his children if he should ever start to think of a life of his own, separate from
theirs. Lucas would never give up his relationship with his children, but surely he didnłt have to pay for the
rest of his life for the mistake of his marriage to their mother, a marriage
that Marsha herself had chosen to end? It just didnłt seem fair! She
must have spent longer under the shower than she
had realised, just letting the steaming hot water beat down on her as she inwardly steamed at
the injustice of the emotional blackmail Marsha felt no hesitation in using to keep Lucas running to her side, because she could hear the doorbell ringing now.
Realising it must be Lucas, arriving for the dinner she had promised to cook
him, she hastily switched off the shower tap,
opening the door to wrap the towel
around her wet hair in the process of stepping from the shower when a
movement near the door caught her eye.

She froze
in the action of picking up the second towel she
had laid out to dry herself with, her startled
gaze fixed on Lucasłs suddenly pale face as he stood in the bathroom doorway.

ęI
used my key to get in.ł He explained his presence gruffly. ęI thought you might have fallen and hurt yourself, orGod...ł he breathed shakily, his
dark gaze held mesmerised by her nakedness.

Christi
knew she should pick up the towel from the side of the bath, that she should
wrap it around herself, should laugh off this
awkward situation. But she didnłt want
to do any of those things; she wanted to lose herself in the heated
admiration she could see in Lucasłs eyes,
unconsciously standing more proudly,
her breasts thrusting pertly forward, her waist slender and flat, her
thighs silkily inviting.

Lucas
swallowed hard, breathing raggedly. ęI think I
should wait for you in the lounge,Å‚ he murmured
huskily, although he made no effort to leave the confines of the steamily hot room.

Christi
moved slowly forward, her breathing shallow. ęLucas,ł she said softly,
holding his gaze with
hers.

He stood rigidly still. ęI should go ...ł

But
he didnłt. He swayed slightly as she came to stand in front of him, but it was
his only movement.

Christi put her arms up about his neck,
absently noting how white her skin looked
against the black shirt he wore with a clean pair of denims, her breath catching in her throat as the soft material of his shirt
became a caress against her breasts.

Lucas moved as if in a daze, his arms
slowly encircling her, reaching up to pull
the towel from her hair.

Until that moment Christi had forgotten
the towel wrapped about her wet hair, and
shivered slightly as the cold tendrils
fell on her heated shoulders. And
then Lucas was threading his fingers through the silky dampness to cup her head for the descent of his lips,
and fire was the only thing she was aware of.

There was no gentleness, only fierce
demand, his mouth moving expertly against
hers, tasting her like a man who had been starving in a desert.

She
entwined her arms more tightly about his neck, glad
of her height as their thighs met in abrasive demand, Lucas hard against her.

He wanted her! If she had ever doubted
it before, she knew it for certain now, his bodyłs involuntary reaction
something he couldnłt hide.

His hands
were like fire against her, and she shuddered with emotions too long suppressed as one of those hands closed over the tautness of her breast,
easing some of the aching heat there as his thumb-pad stroked the hardened tip.

ęI want you,ł he groaned against the silky length of her throat. ęDear God, I want you so badly!ł

Nerves
pulsed and leapt as his mouth caressed her shoulders, his tongue searching out
the creamy hollows of her throat.

Her whole
body tingled with need, her back arching as his mouth finally took her
breast, suckling
against the fiery nub in a slow rhythm that made her legs tremble and quake.

Christi held
him to her, wanting more, groaning her satisfaction as his teeth nibbled against her with pleasure-pain.

Liquid fire met him between her thighs
as he caressed her there, groaning low in his throat at this evidence of her
readiness for him.

She wouldnłt
have cared if Lucas had lain her down on the bathroom floor and taken her
there, so great was
her need for him, but Lucas had other ideas.
He swung her up into his arms to carry her into her bedroom, laying her down gently on the bed, before
standing over her.

Christi
groaned at the indecision in his face. ęDonłt go,
Lucas.Å‚ She held out her arms to him, her
expression pleading. ęStay, and make love to me.ł She almost sobbed with her need.

As he still
hesitated, his face racked by indecision, Christi came up on her knees on
the bed, holding his
gaze as she began to unbutton his shirt, running shaking hands over the
hardness of his flesh before slipping the shirt from his body completely.

His
chest was covered with fine dark hair that disappeared in a V beneath the
material of his jeans, and Christiłs questing lips followed the path of that silky hair, gazing up at him with pleading eyes as
her fingers moved to the fastening of his denims.

Lucas swallowed convulsively, one of his
hands moving to cover both of hers. ęChristi,
we canłt

ęWe can,ł
she insisted firmly. ęLet me, Lucas,ł she groaned, looking at him with dark
blue eyes.

He gave a
low moan, his eyes slowly closing as his hand fell away from hers, although
both his hands moved
into clenched fists as Christi slid the denims from his body.

She had seen him only that afternoon in
bathing trunks, had thought then he was the
most beautiful man she had ever seen. But naked he was even more so, like a gold and bronze sculpture come to life,
every part of him beautifully smooth
and firmly muscled.

He stood
perfectly still as her searching hands and lips learned every inch of him, his
increased ragged
breathing and his tensed muscles the only outward evidence that he was fast
losing control.

Suddenly he couldnłt stand any more; his
hands gripped her arms tightly as he stopped her caresses, pushing her down on the bed before covering her body with his, his mouth fiercely possessing hers as
his tongue fought a silent duel with hers.

Christi felt
like sobbing with the sheer beauty of the moment,
giving herself up completely to the wild sensations coursing through her body as Lucas caressed her as intimately as she had him only seconds earlier, gasping as he sought her out in a
way she hadnłt dared to with him, writhing on the bed with heated abandon as that liquid
fire flooded her whole body.

ęNow, Lucas,ł she choked
her desperation. ęLucas, it has to be now!ł

The soft
lamp-glow made his eyes look almost blue as he looked down at her
searchingly. ęDid you really mean itabout those other men?ł His voice was gruff.

ęMean
it?Å‚ she echoed wildly, not understanding what he meant. And then, as his gaze roamed regretfully over her
body, she knew. ęIt isnłt going to make any
difference, Lucas?ł she cried brokenly. ęYou arenłt going to be noble, are you?ł She shook her head in
silent denial.

He gave a
self-derisive snort. ęI stopped being noble with
you the moment I walked into your bathroom and found you naked. But I
have to know, Christi.Å‚ His fingertips ran caressingly
down one cheek. ęI
donłt want to hurt you." She swallowed
hard. ęIłve never wanted anyone else
but you, Lucas. Does that answer your question?Å‚
She was completely vulnerable as she gazed up at him.

ęYes,ł he breathed softly. ęDear God,
Christi,ł he groaned suddenly. ęI wish I could stop this.ł
He grimaced as if in pain. ęBut itłs too late for that, far too late!ł He shook his head weakly.

ęI love you, Lucas.ł She smoothed the
frown from between his eyes. ęIłve always loved you.ł

ęIt
doesnłt helpI have no rightbut I needI canłt
fight that need any more!Å‚ He shook his head self-disgustedly, his mouth
savagely claiming hers even as his thighs surged against her, seeking entrance, surging into her as he found his way blocked by that gossamer barrier, her cry of pain lost,
and then forgotten, as she moved with him instinctively.

Christi
felt complete for the first time in her life, and as that
aching fire grew and grew in her body she knew there was even more, feeling
herself rising higher and higher, seeking,
searching

ęMarry me, Christi,ł Lucas groaned
heatedly, his body a silky caress against hers. ęMarry me!ł

ęYes!
Oh God, yes!ł Sensations unlike any she had ever known racked her body, taking it in wave after wave of blissful pleasure, aware of the deep surge of Lucasłs body as he too reached the peak of fulfilment, sobbing quietly in his arms as the beauty
of their shared passion washed over her.

Long after
Lucas had fallen into a deep sleep, neither of them interested in the
dinner that had once seemed so appealing, Christi lay awake, her heart once again feeling as if it were
breaking.

She had
wanted Lucasłs loving, had begged for it, but he
hadnłt spoken of loving her, had only allowed his body to do that, while his
thoughts had remained detached from what he was doing.

She had
watched him with the children today, knew the torment he was going through at
the thought of some
other man bringing them up, knew that he had been driven by desperation
tonight, had been fighting for the right to
have custody to his children in the only way that now seemed open to him: if he were married himself, he would have more
to offer his children than ever before.

And what better choice for a wife than
the young woman he had always known was in love with him? He had said he ęhad no rightł, but that he ęneededł,
and in that moment Christi had known why
he needed her.

But it hadnłt
mattered. Not then, and not now. Her heart was breaking at the way Lucas
had finally become hers, but she knew he had no other choice, that at least they could be
friends and lovers even if Lucas couldnłt
offer her any more than that. He had to have a wife if he were to
stand any chance of getting custody of Robin
and Daisy, and with Marshałs wedding
next month he didnłt have any time to waste.

Christi
looked down at him with loving eyes as he lay
against her breast. Long dark lashes fanned out across his cheeks, giving him a
boyish appeal, leaving him completely vulnerable.

Her arms tightened about him. She didnłt care how or why he was hers, only that he
was. And she was going to marry him.

CHAPTER SEVEN

ęWHAT do you mean,
youłre getting married next week?ł Dizzy blustered down the telephone line.

Christi
smiled as she envisaged her friendłs surprise: the
green eyes wide with shock, her mouth open with disbelief.

These Sunday
evening telephone calls between the two friends had been a ritual for as
long as Christi could remember, carried on even after Dizzyłs
marriage to Christiłs uncle, and although Christi didnłt usually have anything
too dramatic to report, today was different. Today she had to tell Dizzy
and Zach that she intended marrying Lucas, very soon.

ęExactly
what I said,ł she mused. ęI hope you and
Zach can make it before you have to leave for the States.Å‚

ęZachłs
doing the work here for the moment,Å‚ Dizzy
dismissed vaguely. ęYou know how cautious he can be.ł

ęExcept
when he married you,ł Christi chuckled. ęA three-day courtship had to
take him a little by surprise!Å‚

ęNo
more than yours is going to!ł Dizzy sounded as if she were frowning. ęI donłt understand it, last week you said they were all nice, but none of them
were special. Last week you were so angry with Dick and Barryand me!because you found out they were trying to use you to get to your uncle... David!Å‚
she pounced. ęIt has to be David,ł she said wonderingly.

Christi
couldnłt blame her friend for jumping to that
conclusion. She herself was still a little dazed that Lucas was to be her husband next week! Not that he hadnłt given her the
chance to change her mind about accepting
his proposal. His desperation of
Saturday night seemed to have worn off
by this morning; hełd assured her that the chances of her being pregnant from that one night were unlikely, and that if she would like to reconsider her decision he would understand.
Considering all that he had to lose if she should decide not to marry him, she had only loved him all the more for
his unselfishness. But she loved him, even if his only reason for wanting to marry her was his children, and to be
his wife this way was better than not being his wife at all.

ęNo, it isnłt David,ł she told her
friend drily.

ęNot David? ButLucas,ł Dizzy said with
satisfaction. ęHe finally realised that he loves you!ł

ęWhat?ł Now it was Christiłs turn to be
amazed. How in the world had Dizzy guessed
that Christi was in love with Lucas?

ęIt
is him, isnłt it?ł her friend persisted eagerly. ęWell, yes ... But

ęHow did I
know?ł Dizzy finished excitedly. ęHow did you know I was in love with
your uncle when I was still fighting the idea myself?ł she dismissed. ęWełve always been so close,
Christi, howcould I not know? I took one
look at the two of you together at my
wedding and knew he was the reason no
other man has ever meant anything serious to you. All those years he had
been your next-door neighbour and IÅ‚d never
guessed a thing, but as soon as I saw you together, I knew.Å‚

ęOK, Sherlock,ł Christi drawled, ęwhat
gave me away?Å‚

ęThe
love in your eyes every time you looked at him,Å‚ her friend said softly.

She swallowed hard. ęOhthat,ł she
mumbled.

ęAnd now the two of you are finally
going to be married,ł Dizzy cried gleefully. ęMy effort at long-distance
matchmaking paid off, then?Å‚

ęWhat
do you ? Dick, Barry and David were supposed to make Lucas jealous?Å‚ she realised slowly.

ęIt
worked, didnłt it?ł her friend gloated. ęAlthough, what Zachłs going to say about the wedding being next
week, I donłt know,ł she added worriedly.

Christi was
still dazed by Dizzyłs instinctive knowledge of the love for Lucas she had
tried for so long to hide from everyone. ęWhat if your plan had gone wrong?ł she protested weakly.

ęAnd
you had actually fallen in love with Dick, Barry, or David?Å‚ Dizzy said
cheerfully. ęWell, that wouldnłt have been so
bad, would it? Theyłre all very nice
men, although I have to admit David is my favourite,Å‚ she added fondly.

ęMine,
too,ł Christi acknowledged softly. ęBut, Dizzy


ęOh, love, you had tried everything else
to get Lucas to see you as a woman,ł Dizzy dismissed. ęI just had
this feeling you were getting to the "itłs now or never" stage.ł

She should have realised Dizzy knew her
too well! ęIf you think back, I had also tried the jealousy bit before,ł she
said drily.

ęNot
with men of Lucasłs own age and experience,ł
her friend returned confidently. ęThat was sure to get him to sit up and take notice. Oh, love, Iłm so glad
for you,Å‚ she sighed happily.

ęAnd I
should be angry with you.Å‚ Christi tried to sound indignant.

ęBut you arenłt, are you?ł Dizzy
chuckled.

How could she be, when possibly Dizzyłs
matchmaking had helped to show Lucas she was a grown woman, to prove to him that other men
considered her mature enough to take
on the responsibility of a
relationship? He was marrying her, wasnłt he? So he must finally see her as all grown up. At least, grown up
enough to become stepmother to the two children he wanted back with him so
desperately.

ęNo,ł
she admitted drily. ęIłm not angry with you at all.ł

ęIłll get Zach so that you can discuss
the wedding with him,Å‚ Dizzy told her briskly.

ęCoward!ł Christi softly taunted.

ęGuilty
as charged,Å‚ Dizzy laughed before going off in search of her husband.

Knowing how
Dizzy could twist her husband around her little finger, Christi knew
her friend would
have done her best to persuade Zach around to the idea of her marriage to Lucas
before he even came on the telephone,
especially as it now turned out to have been Dizzyłs idea in the first
place! However, her best friend couldnłt possibly have guessed at the impossible position Lucas found himself in that
necessitated him having a wife.

She was proved right about Dizzyłs
influence wit] Zach, for her uncle gave his approval unhesitantly. Apparently, he had liked Lucas when hełd met hin at
the wedding last year and, as Zach wryly claimed ęWe older men make the best
husbands.ł A second later, he muttered, ęOuch!ł
as Dizzy obviously hi him for his facetiousness.

Christi
was chuckling softly to herself as she came off the
telephone, her smile fading as the doorbell rang and Henry set up the excited
yapping that told her it was Lucas at the door.

She hadnłt seen him since they had had
breakfast together earlier, Lucas claiming
he had some work to do. Christi was
sure the work had just been an excuse, that Lucas himself needed time to
come to terms with the idea of becoming a husband again Although surely the
pill must be sweeter to swallow when it also meant he stood a chance of
becoming full-time father to Robin and Daisy again! Oh God, bitterness wasnłt going to make
; success of this relationship that was already a fact
because of all the wrong reasons; she had made he decision with her eyes wide open, she didnłt have room for doubts
now.

ęLucas,ł she greeted
him warmly as she threw open the door,
the shadows dispelled from all but the depths of her eyes.

He hesitated only fractionally before
kissing her lightly on the mouth, but it was
enough to be noticeable when Christi
was already feeling so sensitive.

ęI
thought we would go out for dinner,Å‚ he suggested abruptly.

She could
see that, his appearance in the dark evening suit taking her breath away. She
didnłt want to go out anywhere, she just wanted Lucas to take her in his
arms and reassure her, in the only way in which
they seemed to be close now, that everything would be all right, that he did
care for her.

But the
distant expression in his eyes, and the grim set to his mouth, didnłt encourage
such intimacies. The erotically beautiful man of the night before was
far removed from this harsh-faced stranger.

ęJust
give me a few minutes to change,Å‚ she nodded lightly.

ęFine.ł
He sat down in an armchair, opening up the newspaper that had been
delivered that day, immediately lost behind the voluminous pages.

Christi watched him woefully for several
seconds before hastily leaving the room.
Lucas didnłt seem able to even look at her now! She was shaking badly by the time she reached her bedroom, burying her face in Josephinełs fur as the cat stood on her dressing-table to rub
against her concernedly. ęI think he actually hates me, Josie,ł she wailed brokenly, the
haughty animal not in the
least offended by this shortened version of her name,
butting her gently with her regal head.

No, he didnłt hate her, she
reasoned as the pain lessened, Lucas just hated the situation Marshałs remarriage had put them both in. But Christi loved him, would always love him, and it didnłt really matter
why he was marrying her, as long as he did.

All trace of
tears had been deftly removed when she rejoined Lucas in the lounge a few minutes later, the
off-the-shoulder white dress having a gypsy style to it, her hair secured to one side to fall in loose curls over one of those bare shoulders, her makeup
suitably dramatic, hiding evidence of her earlier distress. She felt good, and she knew she looked good.

Lucas put
the newspaper down slowly, the darkening of his eyes the only outward sign
of his approval of her appearance as he stood up to briskly
drape her jacket
over her shoulders.

But that
involuntary reaction was enough for Christi, and she shot him a provocative
smile over one shoulder as his hands lingered caressingly against her.

His hands
were abruptly removed as he turned away. ęWith you dressed like this, I
feel we should do
more than just go out to dinner,Å‚ he rasped.

If their engagement were a normal one,
she would have moved into his arms and told
him she didnłt want to go out at all,
that she would much rather stay here,
in his arms, making love as passionately as they had last night.

But they
werenłt like any normally engaged couple, and so she just smiled
brightly. ęDinner sounds
just fine,Å‚ she assured him.

He nodded
distantly, his hand politely on her elbow as they left her apartment to go down to his waiting car.

This wasnłt
the Lucas she was used to, the Lucas she could tell anything to, and know he would either sympathise or
offer advice that wasnłt intrusive.

She could have wept for the friendship they
had sacrificed, but Lucas had to think it
was worth it to have his children back
with him. She pushed from her mind
thoughts of what would happen to her
and Lucas if he should lose the battle for custody of his children...

She smiled a little wanly at Simon as he
saw them to their table, hoping he wouldnłt
connect her with the woman who had
telephoned that night to arrange a
table for Mr Kingsley, only to find Lucas was already taking Marsha out
to dinner! She knew Simon to be a man of
quick intelligence, his watchful gaze not missing a movement in ęhisł
restaurant, and if he had recognised her
voice that night he remained silent now.

Lucasłs
tension didnłt relent as the meal progressed, and conversation was an uphill
battle Christi felt
she was fast losing. Ordinarily, silence between them would have been
companionable, but now Christi was afraid that if she left a lull in the conversation Lucas might take it to voice the
doubts he seemed to be having about
them, and seemed to be having more with each passing minute.

She couldnłt
even remember the meal she ate, and considering the exquisiteness of
the menu served there that was evidence of her disturbed peace of mind!

ęDizzy
and Zach about the wedding ...Å‚ Her voice trailed off lamely as she
realised exactly what she had been babbling, her stricken gaze raised to Lucasłs sudden stillness. She hadnłt meant to mention that telephone call, hadnłt meant to talk of
their marriage at all! Lucas sat
back, his hands resting lightly on the tablełs edge. ęOh?ł

She swallowed hard. ęI wanted to make
sure they didnłt go off to America before Iłd
had a chance to tell them,Å‚ she
explained with a grimace, having told
Lucas over breakfast that morning of Zachłs dual careers. He had been a
little surprised, but obviously had other
things on his mind. Now he was all too intent on what she was saying.

ęI intended going up to see your uncle
tomorrow,Å‚ Lucas bit out abruptly.

Her
eyes widened. ęYou never said ...ł

He shrugged.
ęI havenłt seen you all day to tell you anything.ł

ęNo, butIłm sorry if I ruined your
plans,ł she frowned. ęI thought I was just
getting one obstacle out of the way,Å‚ she grimaced.

His
eyes narrowed. ęAnd is it?ł he drawled slowly. She longed to tell him of the teasing comment her uncle had made about ęolder menł, but Lucas just wasnłt approachable enough just now. ęZach intends
staying in England to write the screenplay,Å‚

she answered hollowly. ęSo he and Dizzy
will be in England for several more months yet.Å‚

ęHow about next week?ł Lucas grated.

She moved
her shoulders shruggingly. ęNext week, too.ł

ęI
meant,ł he bit out slowly, ęhow did your uncle feel about us being
married next week?Å‚

She gave a
wan smile. ęHe seemed to think that after knowing each other for four years it was about time!ł

Lucas gave an impatient sigh. ęIt seems
to me he could show a little more concern
for your welfare!Å‚ He looked angry.

ęWhy?ł Christi looked at him curiously. ęAre
you going to beat me? Keep me barefoot and
pregnant for the next ten years?Å‚ Her
eyes gleamed mischievously.

There was
no answering smile in Lucasłs expression. ęOf course not,ł he rasped
harshly. ęBut I hope I would show a little bit more interest in
the man Daisy chose
to marry.Å‚

Daisy. And
Robin. The reason he was marrying her in the first place.

She gave a deep sigh. ęI think Iłve
spoken of you enough over the years for my
uncle to realise youłre a kind and
wonderful man, that youłll be good to me,
c-care for me,Å‚ she completed briskly, not knowing if that last were
true any more. ęAnd your business reputation
is something he doesnłt need to be
told about,ł she dismissed abruptly. ęWhat else does he need to know
about the man IÅ‚m going to marry?Å‚ That
he loved her, but that was something she couldnłt assure Zach!

ęSo
hełs agreeable to the wedding being next week?ł Lucas snapped.

ęOf course,ł she nodded.

Lucas lapsed
into silence again, nodding for the bill, frowning darkly as he waited for
it to be brought to
the table.

ęI
was invited to a party tonight.ł He spoke harshly once they had left the restaurant. ęI wasnłt going to go,
butwell, we might as well put in an appearance,Å‚ he shrugged.

Was he
testing her? Had he decided that not just any wife
would do, that she would have to fit in with his friends and life-style, too?
She couldnłt think of any other reason why he should suddenly decide the
party seemed like a good idea, after all; he hadnłt even mentioned it to her until
now.

Accepting
that he didnłt return her love was one thing,
understanding his need to have Daisy and Robin with
him was another, but she wouldnłt be put on trial as to her abilities to be
a suitable wife for
him!

ęIłm
not sure I

ęHave a
little patience, Christi!ł Lucas gave a rueful grimace. ęIłm a little out of
practice with considering another personłs
wishes. Would you like to go on to a party with me?Å‚

Even this
slight softening in his harshly remote mood was
enough to make her feel like crying! ęIłd love to go
to a party with you.Å‚ She gave a shaky smile.

She had been
to dozens of other parties just like this one turned out to be, and even knew
several of the
people there, although she could tell she and Lucas
were the centre of some attention for attending this party together.

ęI
know actresses like to "make an entrance", but this is ridiculous!Å‚ murmured a conspiratorial
voice at her side.

Christi
turned eagerly to greet David Kendrick, kissing his cheek warmly, having felt a
little conspicuous standing on her own while
Lucas went to the bar to get them both another drink.

ęDo that again,ł David invited
wolfishly, his eyes gleaming with laughter.

She gave a husky laugh as she saw
several people were looking their way. ęI donłt
think IÅ‚d better,Å‚ she said ruefully.

David
glanced about them too, grimacing. ęMaybe not,ł he drawled, suddenly very
serious. ęAm I
allowed to ask what youłre doing here with Lucas?ł He frowned his puzzlement.

ęEnjoying the party?ł she shrugged.

ęBesides
that,ł he dismissed thoughtfully. ęAs far as I know, youłve never been
to one of these parties with him before.Å‚

Lucas was standing across the room,
engaged in conversation with another man now,
although she knew he was aware of her own conversation with David, having seen him glance in their direction a
few seconds ago, only to turn away
again uninterestedly.

She turned to give David a bright smile. ęThatłs right, I havenłt.ł

ęChristi

ęWould you
like to be among the first to congratulate usme?Å‚ she continued lightly.
ęLucas and I are to
be married next week.Å‚

Instead of answering her, David looked
at her searchingly, concern in the dark blue
eyes. ęWhy?ł he finally asked.

She laughed softly, keeping the despair
firmly at bay. ęWhy do people usually get
married?Å‚ she derided.

ęBecause
they love each other,ł he dismissed. ęNow,
tell me, why are you and Lucas getting married?Å‚

ęReally,
David

ęChristi,ł he put his hand on her arm,
squeezing lightly, ęitłs too sudden to just
be a coincidence so soon after I told you about Marsha remarrying.Å‚

Her head
went back proudly. ęI happen to love Lucas very much.ł

He nodded. ęAnd
itłs obvious from the way he was behaving the other night that he feels he has a proprietorial
claim on you, too, but that isnłt reason enough for him to marry you.ł

Christi
drew in a ragged breath. ęWełre getting married
because itłs what we want to do.ł She couldnłt lie and say that Lucas returned her
love. ęAnd youłre saying
Marshałs plans to remarry have nothing to do with it,
hmm?Å‚ David frowned.

ęIłm saying ę She
breathed heavily. ęIłm saying that this is really none of your business, David,ł
she told him regretfully.

He nodded
without rancour. ęI suppose not. I just Are you
sure this is what you really want to do, Christi?Å‚ he prompted gently.

She gave a choked groan. ęI--------ł

ęKendrick.ł Lucasłs hard drawl cut in on the conversation as he moved to stand at Christiłs side. ęI
didnłt see you here earlier.ł His
eyes were narrowed on David as he handed Christi her drink.

ęI
only arrived a few minutes ago,ł David dismissed lightly. ęI hear
congratulations are in order?Å‚ He held out his hand.

Christi
watched as the two men warily shook hands, eyeing each other critically, almost as if they were sizing
each other up for a fight.

Lucas
touched her for the first time since driving to the restaurant earlier this evening,
his arm lightly about her waist. ęTo me, certainly,ł he rasped. ęTo Christi, Iłm
not so sure,Å‚ he shrugged.

ęHrn.ł David eyed him mockingly. ęYou
certainly arenłt my type, but I believe women find you fascinating,ł he derided.

Christi
gave him a grateful smile for lightening the conversation, looking up at Lucas
with loving eyes. ęIłm certainly happy with my choice.ł She put
her hand
possessively on his chest.

ęAnd
thatłs the important thing,ł David said lightly, before Lucas could make any comment. ęAnd now, if the two of you will excuse me, Iłve ignored
my date long enough.Å‚ He smiled wolfishly at
the beautiful blonde woman watching him across the room. Ä™Are your beautiful fiancée and I still allowed to have
lunch together tomorrow as wełd arranged?ł
he paused to ask Lucas, as if in afterthought.

But Christi
knew that it wasnłt an afterthought at all, that David was determined to
talk to her again
about her plans to marry Lucas. And it wasnłt too
difficult to guess why! In truth, she had forgotten all about her agreement to have lunch with David tomorrow,
but after tonight she had no doubt what
their main topic of conversation was going to be! Lucas was standing
stiffly at her side. ęChristi is perfectly at liberty to spend time with whom
she chooses,Å‚ he grated abruptly.

David
quirked a mocking eyebrow. ęYou didnłt give that impression the other evening,ł
he mocked. ęStill,ł he added lightly as Lucasłs
expression darkened ominously. ęIłm
glad if my intrusion on the situation made you realise youłre in love with Christi, after all. See you tomorrow, Christi,ł he
added firmly before strolling across the room to join the beautiful
blonde.

Christi
chanced a glance at Lucas, instantly wishing she hadnłt; his face looked as
if it were carved
from granite, his eyes narrowed to silver slits.

ęIf you would rather I didnłt have lunch
with David

ęI told you
both, you can spend time with whom you want to,Å‚ Lucas interrupted
harshly. ęOur marriage
isnłt going to be a prison, Christi,ł he said firmly. ęI donłt expect you to give up your
friends just because youłre married to me.ł

As he wouldnłt give up his ęfriendsł?
She couldnłt survive a marriage like that! ęFriends,
no,ł she conceded lightly. ęBut surely
anything else?ł she tried to tease, although the subject was much too important to her to take lightly. But wouldnłt
Lucas, a man who had become used to the freedom of bachelorhood, and the
relationships that went along with that freedom, find it difficult to suddenly
find himself with just one woman in his life again? He looked at her steadily. ęI thought you said nothing like that happened between you and Kendrick?ł
he rasped.

Her cheeks coloured warmly. ęYou know
that it didnłt. I meantwell, I meant you.ł She frowned.

Lucasłs
expression darkened even more. ęJust what the hell are you implying?ł

Christi
glanced about them awkwardly, very conscious of the party going on around
them. ęPerhaps it would be better if we left now,ł she suggested
awkwardly. ęItłs late, and I start work on the commercials tomorrow.ł

ęWełll leave, Christi,ł he nodded
tersely. ęBut this conversation is far from over,ł he warned grimly.

She was
conscious of Davidłs concerned gaze on her as she
stood at Lucasłs side making their farewells to
their host and hostess. She deliberately refused to meet that gaze, aware that
things were tense enough between Lucas and
herself without him finding her and
David relaying silent messages to each other across the room! Christi sat tensely at Lucasłs side on the drive home,
wondering just when he was going to resume that
ęconversationł that had so angered him. But could she be blamed for
having her doubts? He had never once said he loved her, and his manner hadnłt
exactly been lover like towards her today!

ęThis
is ridiculous, Lucas,Å‚ she attacked impatiently once they reached her
apartment.

ęI couldnłt agree more,ł he said
harshly, very dark and forbidding. And, when
he had been one of her best friends until yesterday, it was a little difficult to take! ęI realise marriage to me is a big step
for you to take, but after Marsha ended our marriage because she
decided it was too restrictive, do you honestly
think I would do the same thing to someone else?Å‚

One of those statements stood out more
than the others: marriage to him was a big
step for her to take. Because they
both knew he was using that marriage
in order to try and get his children into his custody, and that once he had them back with him she would be expected to become their stepmother.

ęI like being married, Christi,ł he added gruffly. ęI like sharing breakfast with the same
woman every morning, rather than some woman I can hardly remember the name of, I like coming home to that same woman in the evenings, having dinner with her, sleeping with her. I even like the arguments, because making up makes it all worth while,Å‚ he
said ruefully. ęWhen I asked you to marry me, I wanted all of those
things with you.ł His voice hardened. ęMaybe
you had better take the time to think
about whether those are the things you want, too.Å‚

Her already
stricken gaze widened. ęOh, but

ęWhile youłre
thinking about it, I donłt think there should be any repeats of last
night,ł he told her abruptly. ęYou have to be sure about this marriage,
Christi

ęI am sure,ł
she cried, her arms about his waist as she rested her head against his
chest. ęI want to marry you, Lucas. I want that more than anything else in the world.ł

ęI hope so.ł His arms moved slowly about
her. ęI really hope so, Christi,ł his arms
tightened convulsively, ębecause I
donłt think I could survive another divorce.ł

She trembled at the thought of anything
so ugly happening between them, at the
bitterness and hate that was usually
all that was left of such a relationship. They had always liked each
other, surely that would never change.

ęOur
marriage will last for ever, Lucas, I promise.Å‚ She held him fiercely.

His mouth
twisted wryly. ęI wonder how many other couples have made the same
promise, and a couple of years later ended up hating each other across a
courtroom? And the fact that IÅ‚ve already been
married once makes it so much worse,ł he frowned. ęI have two children, two
children I love beyond mere words, and they
will always be a part in my life, often have to be put first, before
other considerations, even a second wife.
That isnłt going to be easy for any
woman to live with.Å‚ He shook his
head self-disgustedly. ęI had no right to involve you in the mess Iłve made of my life

ęI want to be involved,ł she
assured him firmly.

He looked down at her with dark eyes. ęI
should never have taken advantage of you


ęIłve been
waiting four years for you to do so!Å‚ she attempted to tease.

He gave a slight smile, but his eyes
remained sad. ęThat doesnłt change the way I
took advantage of the fact that
emotions were running high yesterday, that
I made love to you when I had no right to do so.Å‚

ęI
gave you that right.ł She smoothed away the frown from between his eyes. ęAnd
you did offer to make an honest woman of me afterwards,Å‚ she reminded
teasingly.

Lucas shook
his head. ęI donłt believe Iłm doing you any favours by marrying you

ęThatłs for
me to decide,ł she said, putting silencing fingertips over his lips. ęYoułll
just have to accept that IÅ‚m all grown up now, Lucas, that IÅ‚m a woman
who knows what she wants. And I want you. And your children,Å‚ she
assured him softly. ęYou
know I love Daisy and Robin.Å‚

He rested
his cheek against the top of her head. ęI wonder what I ever did to deserve
you,Å‚ he sighed shakily.

ęAte all your vegetables as a child?ł she teased. She could feel him smile against her
hair. ęNo,ł he drawled.

ęDid well in your exams at school?ł

His smile widened. ęNot particularly.ł

ęWere
kind to little old ladies and cooed at babies in their prams?Å‚

ęYes to the first, no to the second,ł he
derided.

ęWell,
one out of four isnłt bad, is it?ł She looked up at him lovingly. ęLucas, Iłve been waiting years for you to notice Iłm a woman ę

ęOh, I noticed,ł he said drily.

ęAccept,
then,ł she corrected dismissively. ęIłm not about to let you go now,ł she warned. ęBesides, if you cancel the wedding, Iłll go contrary on you and
definitely be pregnant!Å‚

The humour
faded from his face, a haunted look in his eyes. ęChildren of our own
aresomething I think should wait for a while, Christi,Å‚ he said softly.

She could
have hit herself for the way she kept saying the wrong thing. Of course he
wouldnłt want any children between them
until he was sure Daisy and Robin felt secure of their place in his life.

She gave him a bright smile. ęThen you
had better not cancel the wedding, had you?Å‚ she teased.

He looked down at her searchingly, his
expression clearing slightly. ęMaybe Iłd
better not,ł he conceded huskily. ęIłm
not sure how long IÅ‚ll be able to resist you,Å‚ he admitted ruefully.

Christi frowned at him. ęYou really mean
it about not making love to me until after wełre married?ł

He nodded
abruptly. ęI donłt think we should cloud the issue.ł

ęBut I
want you, Lucas,Å‚ she protested, knowing she needed that closeness between them.

He tapped
her lightly on the nose. ęYou look like a spoilt
little girl when you pout like that,Å‚ he murmured indulgently.

ęI was a spoilt little girl,ł she reminded irritably. God, after
only one night in his arms, the thought of abstinence made her ache inside!

ęYoułre a spoilt big girl, too,ł Lucas teased affectionately.
ęBut the answer is still no, Christi,ł he added
seriously. ęLetłs give ourselves time to adjust to the idea of marrying
each other, hmm?Å‚

She didnłt
want to give them time, she wanted to be in his arms tonight, and every
other night. But she
could see by Lucasłs determined expression that
he had made his decision and he wasnłt about to change it. ęIf you insist,ł she muttered, giving in with a definite lack of grace; she couldnłt help
it, she had no pride left where this man was concerned. Lucas smiled at her bad humour. ęI insist,ł he drawled.

ęWell,
you donłt have to sound so happy about it,ł
she muttered complainingly, moving out of his arms.

He gave a
rueful smile. ęIs that really how I sound?ł he mused, shaking his head. ęI
want you, Christi, probably more than you want me,Å‚ he insisted at
her indignant snort. ęIłm not at all happy with
letting you sleep alone for the next week, I just feel itłs
the right thing to do. Which isnłt to say that I intend staying away from you
corn‑ pletely,Å‚ he murmured throatily before
his lips claimed hers.

Christi felt as if she had been waiting
for this kiss for ever; she put all her love
into it, feeling his instant response as she pressed eagerly against him.

Joy lit her
heart as she knew he did want her, that he must be aching as badly as she
was right now.

She whimpered softly as he slowly
caressed her body, his hands trembling
slightly, their mouths seeking,
searching, learning all there was to know about each other.

Lucas
was breathing heavily when he moved away slightly to rest his forehead on hers.

ęI canłt tempt you?ł she encouraged huskily.

His mouth
twisted. ęOh, you can tempt me all too easily,ł he admitted ruefully. ęBut
IÅ‚m not going to let you,Å‚ he added firmly, putting her away from
him. ęShall we have breakfast together?ł he encouraged softly.

She nodded wordlessly, her
disappointment reflected in her eyes.

Long after Lucas had gone to his own
apartment, Christi sat alone in the lounge, wanting him, loving him...

CHAPTER EIGHT

ęI COULDNłT
have chosen better for you myself,Å‚ Dizzy
murmured appreciatively at her side, her green eyes gleaming with mischief.

Christi
dragged her own bedazzled gaze away from Lucas as he stood confidently across the room from them,
talking to Zach. Tiny Laura was nestled comfortably
in her fatherłs arms, quite content to listen
to the rich tones of the two men. ęYou didnłt, did you?ł she said ruefully, knowing Dizzy well enough to realise that if ensuring that she dated Dick, Barry and David hadnłt worked to bring herself and Lucas together then Dizzy would have gone
right on matchmaking until something did! Her
friend turned to hug her. ęI canłt tell you how much Iłve longed for
your wedding day,Å‚ she glowed.

Her wedding day! She was now Mrs Lucas
Kingsleythe second. Ordinarily, it wouldnłt have bothered her that Lucas had been married before, but waiting for him to mention custody of Robin and
Daisy was starting to fray her nerves.

She knew he had seen the children during
the last week, to explain to them that he intended marrying ęAunty Christił, but he hadnłt mentioned to Christi
his plans for them at all.

It had been
a full and busy week, made all the more so by her work on the advertisements,
but somehow they had managed to arrive at today with all the arrangements going smoothly. As
Lucas had done most of the organising, they
probably dared not do anything else! Only close relatives had been at
the actual service, this lavish reception
being given for their other friends at one of Londonłs leading hotels.

ęIłve
longed for it, too.ł Christi returned her friendłs hug. ęAlthough Iłd almost given up hope of it ever happening,ł she admitted softly. Lucas was
her husband, her husband! Dizzy grinned. ęZach was most
impressed when Lucas turned up at the castle
to ask for your hand in marriage.Å‚
Her loving gaze rested indulgently on her handsome husband.

Lucas had
kept to his original plan to drive up to the Lake
District to talk to Zach personally, spending the night there with Dizzy and Zach, and driving back the next day to assure Christi everything
was agreed.

She gave a
rueful smile. ęZachłs a pushover for the old traditions.ł

Dizzy gave her a coy look from beneath
lowered lashes. ęHełs a pushover for new
ones, too,Å‚ she murmured throatily.

It never
ceased to amaze her how Dizzy had changed since her marriage to Zach; men certainly hadnłt been a part of her life until she had fallen
in love with him. Now Dizzy was
completely sure of her own femininity, secure in her husbandłs love.

Christi
felt a wistful ache in her chest, wishing she were secure
of Lucasłs love. But he had still made no mention
of the emotion, despite the fact that their
goodnights had become longer and longer during the
last week, each of them reluctant to go to their
lonely beds. She would have forgotten Lucasłs decision concerning that in a
moment if he would have let her, but Lucas
seemed determined to play the
gentleman now that their wedding was being planned.

ęUh-oh,ł
Dizzy said indulgently as Laura began to
squirm restlessly in her fatherłs arms, giving out a little choked cry at the same time. ęMy daughter
feels itłs time she had something to
eat,Å‚ she excused absently, her
attention all on the tiny bundle who
had brought so much more happiness to her and Zachłs lives.

Christi
watched enviously as Zachłs autocratic face filled
with unashamed love as he turned to his wife,
handing her the baby, excusing both of them as he
accompanied Dizzy to the room where she could nurse Laura.

ęYou look as if youłve lost a pound and found a penny,ł David murmured softly at her side.

She turned to him with a bright smile,
the smile fading a little as she saw his own
pain behind the words. She squeezed his arm emotionally. ęThere is another door open out there somewhere, David,ł she
assured him huskily.

He shook off
his despondent mood with effort. ęHey, this is a wedding, remember?ł he teased. ęAnd all us lucky
male guests get to kiss the bride!Å‚ He suited
his actions to his words, gathering her into his arms to kiss her soundly on the mouth. ęTim,ł he still held
her as he looked down at her warmly, ęLucas is the lucky man.ł

She gave a
pained frown, pulling out of Davidłs arms to shoot an uncomfortable glance
across the room to
where Lucas was now talking to one of his friends.
He didnłt appear to have noticed the exchange
between David and herself, and she turned away gratefully. Having lunch with another man was one thing, letting him kiss her was something else,
even at her own wedding! David was watching
her shrewdly. ęAlthough maybe he still doesnłt appreciate that yet,ł he
said thoughtfully, blue eyes questioning.

Christi gave a bright smile. ęHe turned
up for the wedding, didnłt he?ł she teased.

David looked
at Lucas with narrowed eyes. ęSomeone that looks like him did,ł he nodded slowly.

Her cheeks were flushed. ęWhat do you mean?ł He shrugged. ęI want you to be happy
with Lucas, Christi

ęI will be,ł she assured him quickly.

ęI hope so.ł He still frowned. ęIt doesnłt
seem too good a start to the marriage when
the first
wife is in attendance, though,Å‚ he added drily.

Christi
felt her cheeks burn again, but tried to remain
composed as she saw Marsha and the children join Lucas across the room. ęLucas
naturally wanted his children at our wedding,Å‚ she defended stiffly.

David
raised dark brows. ęAnd Marsha just came along to keep them company?ł

She had to
admit, to herself at least, that she had been
surprised when Marsha had been the one to bring the
children, instead of the nanny she had been
expecting. But what could she have said or done that would have changed anything?
Marshałs presence here was already a fact,
she had no choice but to accept it
gracefully. And that was what she had
done, Lucas at her side when they had greeted the other woman at the start of the reception. His own initial
displeasure had turned to impatient acceptance
as Marsha greeted them warmly, to all intents and purposes delighted with the remarriage of her ex-husband. How
could they possibly object to her behaviour after that? But Christi had to admit she found the situation more than a little awkward, although she realised there
was nothing Lucas could do about it, either, without
causing an unnecessary scene. And the childrenłs enthusiastic pleasure
in the marriage more than made up for Marshałs
presence. She couldnłt help but feel grateful for the fact that Marsha
hadnłt tried to poison the childrenłs minds
to the idea of her marrying their
father. Considering how the other
woman had clung on to Lucas all these years, the likelihood of that happening had been a distinct possibility.

ęThatłs
right,Å‚ she dismissed lightly, not willing to let David, no matter how good a friend he had become, know just how much of a mar on her wedding
day having Marsha there had been.

ęWell, at least youłll have the same
pleasure in attending her wedding next month,Å‚
David derided with satisfaction.

And by that time she and Lucas would
have been married for three weeks, her
position as his wife more than clear. ęIłm looking forward to it,ł she
murmured softly.

David chuckled at her determined
expression. ęRetribution is sweet, hmm?ł he
mused appreciatively.

ęLucas
is my
husband, thatłs all the ammunition I need,ł she
shrugged dismissively. ęAnd now, if youłll excuse me, I think Iłll join them.ł

ęLet me accompany you,ł David offered
politely, taking a firm hold of her elbow. ęWith
a woman like Marsha, you might have
need of back-up troops,Å‚ he muttered ruefully.

To an
outsider, they must look like a happy family
gathering, but Christi was more than aware of the
tension in the air as she and David joined the other four.

ęNow we have two mummies!ł Daisy turned to hug her enthusiastically.

Christi returned the hug, shooting
Marsha an uncomfortable glance, turning away
again quickly as she saw the other womanłs mouth tighten angrily.

ęDonłt
be silly, Daisy,Å‚ her brother told her with all the authority his extra year
afforded. ęYou can only have one mummy.ł

Daisy looked
rebellious. ęBut

ęIłll be your aunt still, Daisy,ł
Christi explained gently. ęJust like Uncle Julian will
still be just youruncle when he marries your mummy soon.ł The last was added challengingly, although she didnłt dare risk a glance at Marsha, the person the challenge had
been meant for.

ęBut if

ęHey, you
two,ł David lightly cut in on Daisyłs puzzled
question. ęHave you tried the ice-cream yet?ł he
encouraged. ęTherełs a half a dozen flavours, so I think it must be in your honour,ł he tempted as two pairs of grey eyes turned to him curiously.

Daisy looked up at her father. ęReally?ł

His expression softened indulgently as
Daisy still lisped slightly from where her front teeth were still growing back.
ęI think I did just happen to mention there would be a couple of children here
today who love ice-cream,Å‚ he smiled.

ęStrawberry?ł Daisy licked her lips.

ęI shouldnłt be surprised,ł he drawled softly. ęAnd chocolate?ł Robin put in hopefully.

ęI
believe so.ł Lucas lightly caressed his sonłs cheek.

ęMy
favourites, too,ł David enthused, taking a child by each hand. ęHave you
ever tried them both together?ł he was questioning as he led them away towards the buffet. ęStirring them into the same bowl and

ęUgh!ł
Marsha grimaced delicately as Davidłs graphic
description of the awful sounding concoction could no longer be heard.

Christi
straightened awkwardly, not quite sure what to do now, although she was
grateful to David for removing the children
from what was, at best, a difficult
situation to deal with. From the looks on
the childrenłs faces as they scooped up the ice-cream mixture, they hadnłt at all minded being diverted! She jumped a little nervously as Lucasłs hand on her
waist brought her back against his side, flashing him an apologetic frown as she sensed his puzzlement at her reaction. She wished they could just leave to go on the two-day honeymoon which was all her immediate work schedule would allow, for she
desperately wanted to be alone with him. David had been right when he had said she looked as if she had lost a pound and
found a penny; she had lost her
friendship with Lucas, and at the moment she wasnłt sure what she had
gained in its place!

ęYou make a beautiful bride.ł

She blinked her surprise at the other
womanłs comment, looking at her frowningly. ęThank
you,Å‚ she accepted warily.

Marsha gave
a soft laugh. ęI believe your little bride is suspicious of my motives,ł she
taunted to Lucas.

Lucas looked warmly at Christi. ęYou do make a lovely bride,ł he told her huskily.

She felt
warm all over, and wished they were on their own,
so that Lucas could sweep her up into his arms
and make love to her. It was the only time she had felt secure in their
relationship.

ęLucas
and I were just discussing the plans for when I go away on my honeymoon,Å‚ Marsha put in abruptly.

Christi
turned to her sharply, the intimacy between Lucas
and herself broken. Why on earth should Marsha discuss her honeymoon with Lucas?

ęSuch
a pity the two of you donłt have the time for a honeymoon,ł Marsha drawled, now that she had their full
attention.

ęOh,
but-----

ęChristi has
a contract to fulfil.ł Lucas spoke smoothly over Christiłs protest.

Marsha nodded. ęItłs a pity you didnłt
have more consideration for my career when we were married,Å‚ she bit
out waspishly.

His mouth
tightened. ęI made a lot of mistakes during our marriage that I donłt intend
to repeat with
Christi,Å‚ he rasped.

Hazel eyes
blazed with anger, the anger fading to a rueful grimace as Marsha saw
Christi was watching them with frowning puzzlement. ęPoor Christi
doesnłt have any idea what wełre talking about,ł she
mused. ęI used to be the fashion editor for a top
magazine,ł she explained ruefully. ęAt the time Lucas didnłt approve of his wife
working,ł she added harshly. ęAnd, like the
fool I was, because I wanted to please him, I gave up my job. The beginning of the end.ł She shook her head. ęI was no
longer the woman he had married, and
I resented him for denying me my career. And having children, believing they will hold the marriage together, is
the worst thing you can do,ł she sighed. ęAll that does is introduce innocents into the mess youłve already
made of your life.Å‚

Christi had
never heard any of this before, had had no idea Marsha had ever had such a
demanding career, let alone realised the problems it had caused
to the marriage. And what Marsha had just said about Robin and Daisy gave her
a whole new insight
into their births.

But she had no doubt that, whatever
beliefs Lucas used to have about women
working and having a career, he no
longer felt the same way, for he had always
encouraged her career, and he had been the one to insist that their honeymoon should be delayed until after
her work was finished on the advertisements.

His arms
tightened about her waist as he answered Marsha. ęI told you, Iłve learnt from my mistakes,ł he
ground out.

Marsha
forced one of her beautiful smiles, shaking off the memories with effort. ęOf
course you have,ł she dismissed lightly. ęWełve both made
new starts. Which
brings us right back to the arrangements we
were making for when Julian and I are
away. Having two young children suddenly thrust upon you for a month isnłt
going to be easy, but

ęMarsha,ł Lucas cut in warningly.

ęRobin and Daisy like you already,
Christi, and thatłs half the battle

ęMarsha,ł
Lucas cut in again. ęI havenłt had a chance yet to discuss having the
children with Christi.Å‚
His mouth was a taut line.

Hazel eyes
widened. ęYou havenłt? My God, Lucas,ł Marsha said disgustedly. ęIłm
sorry, Christi,ł she frowned uncomfortably, ęI felt sure Lucas would haveI wouldnłt haveoh,
hell!ł She glared at Lucas. ęPerhaps youłll
let me know when you have discussed it with Christi!Å‚ She flounced off,
crossing the room in search of her two children.

Complete silence enfolded the two of
them once Marsha had gone, Christi speechless, Lucas seeming lost in angry
thought.

They were to have Robin and Daisy while their
mother was away on honeymoon? Lucas was the obvious and natural choice to have the children during that time, although she couldnłt help wondering if his motives werenłt a little deeper than
that. Maybe he would use that month as
a trial run for when he applied to
have the children with him all the
time. She had learnt a new respect for Marsha today, and couldnłt help
thinking it was an underhand thing to do to
take advantage of the situation. But
why else would Lucas have waited so long to discuss the children coming
to them while Marsha was away, if it werenłt because he intended their stay to
be a much longer one than that? Hadnłt he realised yet that she would do anything for him, would take half a dozen
of his children into their
home if it would make him happy? If this was the way he
wanted to do things, she wasnłt about
to argue. She had known from the first how desperate he was to have
Robin and Daisy back with him.

She forced a
bright smile. ęIłm sure Robin and Daisy are excited about the prospect of
coming to you for a
month.Å‚

Lucas sighed. ęI intended waiting until
after our honeymoon before mentioning it to
you. I felt I owed you that time, at
least.Å‚ He shook his head irritably.

Two days of happiness before he intended
disillusioning her about his real motives for
the marriage! She didnłt want him to think he ęowedł her anything; the last thing she wanted from him was pity
for the decision she had made with her eyes completely open.

ęWell, I know now,ł she dismissed
lightly. ęSo we can start making plans for
their stay, things we can do, places
we can goł

ęAll that
can wait, Christi,Å‚ he told her softly, his eyes gentle.
ęWe may only have two days, but it is our
honeymoon, and I fully intend to make up for the last week of sleeping alone.Å‚

Her heart
skipped a beat at the sudden intimacy in his tone, and she looked up at him
with widely hopeful eyes. ęWe can leave now,
if you would like to,Å‚ she suggested breathlessly.

ęIłd
like to.ł He gazed around ruefully at their guests. ęBut do you think
theyłll let us go yet?ł he derided.

Her mouth
quirked. ęI would say theyłre wondering why we took this long!ł

Lucas chuckled softly. ęThen letłs get out of here!ł

They left
amid laughter and good wishes. Marsha, of all people, was the one to
catch her bouquet of
yellow roses, her pleasure in the act so genuine
that, after the initial awkward silence, the good wishes and laughter
became even louder.

They had
booked into a lovely hotel by the Thames, away from London itself, having
decided they didnłt want to spend what little time they
did have driving to
their destination.

Two hours later, having shared a
delicious dinner with Lucas in the restaurant downstairs, Christi was glad of
the decision. She hurried through her bath, aware
of having longed for the moment of being Lucasłs wife for as long as she
could remember.

Dizzy and Zach had come down a couple of
days before the wedding so that Dizzy could
help her with the choice of her dress.
The white silk dress had been a complete success, Lucasłs eyes full of admiration when hełd first gazed at her. But besides
the wedding dress Dizzy had insisted that all brides should have ęa nightgownł,
and Christi had quickly learnt what her
friend meant by that. The floaty white creation had narrow ribbon shoulder-straps, lace cups over her pert breasts, satin
falling silkily to her feet. It was
definitely ęa nightgownł, and as
Christi gazed at her own starry-eyed reflection
in the full-length mirror, she knew that Dizzy had been right to insist that she buy the nightgown; she felt beautiful and desirable, as any
new bride should do.

And yet she
felt a little nervous about seeing Lucas now. It was one thing to make love with spontaneous abandon, the way it had
happened the one and only
night they had made love, it was something else
completely to know that tonight she truly
belonged to Lucas, in every sense of the word. It almost felt as if she were married to a stranger, and not her
dear familiar Lucas at all.

As she hesitated in the bedroom, the
door softly opened, and Lucas watched her
from the doorway with caressing eyes.
Christi turned slowly to face him, seeing the dark leap of desire in his
eyes, and suddenly all her nervousness fled,
and there was just Lucas and herself left, her emotions revealed
unashamedly as she gazed at the man she loved.

ęYou
are so beautiful, you take my breath away,Å‚ he finally murmured gruffly.

He was still wearing the suit he had
worn to the wedding, minus the jacket, and he
probably wished for a leisurely shower
or bath himself; yet, as they gazed at
each other, they were both filled with a sudden urgency to be one again, to know each other in a way that would leave no doubts in their minds as
to how much they needed each other.

Lucas
kissed her long and lingeringly, finally raising his
head, his lips only inches from hers. ęGive me a
few minutes,ł he urged softly. ęBetter yet, come and keep me company,ł he
encouraged huskily.

Christi loved every muscle and sinew of
his body, and watched with unabashed pleasure as he stood beneath the showerłs spray, muscle and bronzed skin
rippling as he soaped his whole body.

And when he
finally stepped out of the shower cubicle Christi stood up to meet him,
knowing neither of them could wait a moment longer, their gazes locked
as they moved slowly into the adjoining bedroom.

It was as beautiful as a ballet, as
erotic as a dance, each caress, every movement pure poetry and rhyme as they
fitted together in perfect unison, the final crescendo more beautiful than
anything Christi had ever imagined before.

As she lay
nestled in Lucasłs arms throughout the night, awakening to passion often
as they constantly sought each other out, Christi knew
that she was home, that she would always find her home in this manłs arms.

CHAPTER NINE

ęBUT
when can we come back again?Å‚ Daisy demanded
petulantly, throwing things into the case that Christi was meticulously trying to
pack.

Christi sat
down with a sigh, taking the little girl into her
arms. ęI donłt know, poppet.ł She smoothed the silky black hair away from the angrily flushed face. ęYoułll have to ask Daddy,ł she told Daisy
ruefully.

She wanted to do the same thing! The
childrenłs month of staying with them was up,
for Marsha and Julian would be back
from their honeymoon this afternoon,
and yet during the last seven weeks of
their marriage Lucas hadnłt mentioned a thing to her about having the children with them all the time. Surely he had to realise that it would
affect her as much as it did himmore
so, because she had even less experience of bringing up children than Lucas did, and yet with Lucas out at work all
day she was sure to spend more time with them than he did. Not that she minded that; the last month
of caring for Daisy and Robin had been very enjoyable. They had enjoyed themselves too, hence Daisyłs reluctance to return to her mother. But, if
Lucas did intend fighting for custody of them, he was going to have to
tell them that himself.

Daisy pouted. ęWe could at least have
stayed until tomorrow. Mummy and Uncle Julian donłt get back until this
afternoon.Å‚

ęMummy has missed you so much, she canłt
wait until tomorrow,ł Christi told her reprovingly. ęYou know shełs telephoned almost every day.ł And, considering the newly-weds had honeymooned in the Bahamas, she hated to think what Julianłs telephone bill had been like at the end of their stay! But it was unthinkable that he would deny Marsha those conversations with her two children, for he was
obviously very much in love with his new bride.

ęI
wish we could have gone with her,Å‚ Robin chimed in from the other side of the room, where he was managing to pack his own suitcase, albeit rather
haphazardly. ęShe says shełs been swimming almost every day,ł he added
enviously.

Christi
knew that Robinłs wish bore no reflection on the time he had spent with
her and Lucas, it was just that swimming was his passion at the
moment, worth any other sacrifice, even that of spending time with his beloved
father.

ęNow youłre being silly,ł Daisy told him
in a prim voice. ęChildren donłt go on
honeyhoneymoon, with their mummy and
daddy. Do they, Christi?Å‚ she prompted knowledgeably.

She held back her smile with effort. ęNot
usually, no,Å‚ she admitted.

ęThat
doesnłt mean they canłt,ł Robin challenged
his sister, more than a little of the usual sibling rivalry between
these two.

It had been
a little strange to suddenly find herself a surrogate mother when Daisy and Robin
had first come to stay with them.
Delicately, she had tried to sort out
their squabbles without causing resentment
towards her, but, as the days had passed and they had all become more used to each other, she had found she
was enjoying caring for the two children,
although it was hard work, it was also very rewarding.

Which was perhaps as well, if what she
suspected turned out to be true! Lucas had
made it clear from the beginning that he
didnłt want any more children yet, if ever, and so she had taken the
necessary precautions. Unfortunately, something seemed to have gone wrong, and she now had a feeling she had become pregnant as
early as their honeymoonthose two nights and days
when they hadnłt ventured from their hotel room except to eat, and
sometimes not even then.

She hadnłt
dared to even mention the possibility to Lucas,
hadnłt even gone to her doctor yet to have her
suspicion confirmed or denied, longing for it to be true,
and yet uncertain of Lucasłs reaction to it if she should turn out to be pregnant.

He had so much enjoyed having Daisy and
Robin here the last month, and spent as much
time with them all as he could. As Christiłs work on the advertisements was now over, and the childrenłs school closed for the summer, they had been able to
go out for several days.

Christi felt
for Lucas now, knew he hadnłt felt able to come and help with the packing because hedidnłt really want to take the children back to Marsha
just yet, either. But, until he did something definite
about taking the children, none of them had any choice.

She stood up
decisively, steadying Daisy in front of her. ęLetłs get this packing done so
that we can all have lunch,Å‚ she suggested, deliberately appealing to the fact that they both loved
to eat.

Miraculously,
the cases were packed within seconds, and she smiled at the two
children indulgently as she went to prepare their lunch. Because
she had moved into Lucasłs apartment, giving up the lease on
her own, and because the apartment only had two bedrooms, she had advised
Marsha to give the
childrenłs nanny the last month off, preferring
to look after them herself for that short time. At least that way, if
she made any mistakes and she had made many!they didnłt have to be witnessed
by an expert.

Lucas was already in the kitchen,
cooking the hamburgers he had promised the
children they could have as their
last meal of their stay, turning to smile at Christi as she joined him. The
children raced into the dining-room,
squabbling over who should be laying the table.

As usual,
Christiłs heart contracted with love as she gazed
at Lucas. Moving easily into his arms, she rested
her head against his shoulder. She drew in a
quivering breath as his arms tightened about her
convulsively. ęWełre going to miss them, arenłt we?ł She spoke sadly.

She could
feel him smile against her hair. ęItłs certainly going to be a lot quieter
around here,Å‚ he derided as the argument in the other room became louder.

Once again
he had passed up an opportunity she had given him to tell her he wanted the children to come and live
with them, and she moved away disappointedly,
taking over the cooking of the hamburgers.
ęI think you had better go and stop World War Three in there,ł she advised dully, her face averted as she
sensed him watching her with puzzled eyes.

ęChristi?ł
he prompted softly.

Oh God, why
couldnłt he talk to her, confide in her? The nights they shared were
perfect, couldnłt have been more giving, and yet when they were together
like this Christi always sensed that Lucas was holding
something back from her, that there was a large part of himself he wasnłt
prepared to give.

ęIłm
just a little tired,Å‚ she dismissed shruggingly, still unable to meet
his gaze.

ęTaking
care of Robin and Daisy has been hard work for you.Å‚ He was instantly
apologetic. ęHow about if we try and sort out some time for our own honeymoon?ł He took her in his arms, moulding her
body to his.

She made a
face. ęI start rehearsals for the new play next week,ł she reminded, having
finally found work in the theatre again. It was another small part, but an improvement on the last one, where she had only
had one line of dialogue!

ęSo
you do.Å‚ He released her reluctantly as the sound of breaking glass came
from the next room. ęMost of the time, theyłre very well behaved,ł he muttered as he turned to enter the dining-room. ęBut when they have a bad day everyone knows about
it!Å‚

The smile
Christi had shared with him faded as soon as the door closed behind him. She had known being married to a
man as complex as Lucas wasnłt going to be
easy, but waiting for him to confide in her didnłt make it any easier.
Why couldnłt he come right out and say, ęChristi,
I want Daisy and Robin to come and
live with usł? He had to know she wouldnłt
say no, that she had never been able to deny him anything. It was the
waiting that was upsetting her.

And the fact that she was probably
pregnant and feared Lucasłs reaction to that!

ęI think youłve actually grown,ł Marsha
told her son indulgently
after hugging him. Daisy cuddled up on her motherłs knee, her earlier reluctance to return home completely forgotten in the
excitement of seeing her mother again.

Christi and
Lucas had driven the children home soon after lunch, finding Marsha and
Julian very tanned from their holiday, Marsha more beautiful than ever with her sparkling
hazel-coloured eyes and her golden skin.

The newly
married couple seemed very relaxed and happy together, and for the
childrenłs sake, as much
as anything, Christi was glad the relationship so far seemed to have worked out. Although she realised not many marriages failed during the honeymoon!

ęWe have some gifts for the two of you
in the bedroom,Å‚ Marsha told the two children
affectionately, laughing softly as the children let out excited yells.

ęWe
should be going,Å‚ Lucas murmured softly. Christi
was just about to agree when Marsha answered him instead.

ęWhy donłt you and
Julian get the childrenłs things from
the car?ł she suggested lightly. ęChristi and I will go and give this excited
pair,Å‚ she ruffled two silky heads
teasingly, ętheir gifts.ł And wełll all be civilised about this, her
tone seemed to add.

Lucas gave
Christi a questioning look, to which she gave a rueful shrug, following the other woman from the room.
She stood by while Daisy and Robin admired
their gifts, an expensive doll for Daisy, a full American-football outfit for Robin, over which he went into
whoops of admiration.

ęJulian
thought he would like that,Å‚ Marsha murmured
softly as Robin immediately began to pull the outfit on. She turned to
give Christi a rueful smile. ęI donłt think I
had realised just how much IÅ‚d missed
a manłs opinion about things until this last month.ł

Christi gave a tight smile,
uncomfortable with the confidence. After
all, until a few weeks ago, this woman
had seemed to consider her part of the enemy!

ęIłm glad
youłre happy,ł she returned stiffly.

Marsha
raised mocking brows. ęAre you?ł she derided. ęSorry,ł she grimaced
apologetically, giving a deep sigh. ęYou and I havenłt been the
best of friends up to now, but I hope that will all change
now,Å‚ she smiled
encouragingly.

Friends? How could the two of them
possibly be friends, when Lucas intended
using any way he could to take Marshałs children from her? Over the last few weeks she had come to realise that Daisy and Robin were Marshałs
children, too. Ever
since she had realised she could be carrying a child. Even though
it was only a possibility she was pregnant,
even though she had never held a child of
her own, loved it, she knew her heart would break if anyone should ever try to take that child away from her. And she didnłt doubt Marshałs love for
Daisy and Robin, just as Lucas never had.

She was being torn apart in her
loyalties, for she knew that, as the
childrenłs father, Lucas had a right
to want the children with him, but, as it became more certain with each
passing day that she carried a child of her
own, she could sympathise with another
motherłs love for her children, a love that was unique and irreplaceable.

Marsha was
so happy at the moment, content in her marriage, reunited with her children. But Lucas was so unhappy, wanting the children to stay with him.
What an impossible situation this was!

ęI hope so, too,ł she answered Marsha
with a nod. Although she very much doubted it, not once Lucas had started the
battle for the children! Marsha squeezed her
arm reassuringly. ęI really am happy
for you and Lucas, you know,Å‚ she said softly, Daisy and Robin busy on
the floor with their new gifts. ęI know I was a bitch to you before, but wellI am pleased for you now,ł she repeated firmly. ęJulian is absolutely marvellous.ł She laughed softly, indulgently. ęOh, I know hełs nowhere
near as handsome as Lucas, that everyone probably
believes I married him because I fancy myself as a diplomatłs wife. You
see!ł she acknowledged without rancour, as Christiłs cheeks blushed guiltily at the echoing of the comment David had made
when hełd first told her of Marshałs intended marriage to Julian Holland.

ęJulian
seems very nice,Å‚ Christi told her uncomfortably.

ęOh,
he is,ł the other woman nodded with certainty. ęBut hełs so much more
than that,Å‚ she added lovingly, leaving
Christi in no doubt as to her feelings
for her new husband. ęHełs a man that needs me,ł she explained
with satisfaction.

She gave a
gasp. ęLucas

ęNever needed me,ł Marsha said without
rancour. ęLucas is a man who is sufficient
unto himself. Surely you must have realised that by now?ł She frowned. ęHełs a man who can do anything, be anything he wants to be, and he doesnłt need anyonełs help or encouragement to do it. My God, he made millions just because he believed he could, and
he certainly didnłt ask for any help from me.ł

ęThe fact that you were supportive

ęDidnłt mean a damn thing to him,ł
Marsha dismissed
softly. ęHe could have gone right ahead and made
a success of his life without me. Havenłt the last five years proved
that?Å‚ she derided.

Christi was frowning. ęBut you were the
one who decided to end the marriage,ł she reminded, keeping her voice low so that the children shouldnłt hear their
conversation.

ęBecause
I was empty inside. Lucas didnłt need me,
and the love that had been there in the beginning had slowly died through being ignored. All I had left were my children, and I didnłt see why they
should be caught in the middle of a loveless marriage
that was making me bitter and Lucas distant
and withdrawn. I did the only thing I could in those circumstances, and put an end to everyonełs unhappiness. The children are well adjusted, and Lucas and I were free to find our own happiness as best we could. My only worry over the years,ł a shadow darkened the glow of her eyes, ęwas that Lucas would one day try to take the children
from me.ł She shrugged. ęIt made me very defensive,
but I donłt think anyone can appreciate how desolate such a possibility can seem to a mother, how the fear can just eat you up.ł She shuddered at the memory. ęThank God all thatłs over!ł

But it wasnłt,
it wasnłt! Obviously Marsha considered her marriage to Julian secured the children staying with her
indefinitely; she didnłt seem to have realised
that Lucasłs own marriage gave him the same advantage. And Christi was
no longer sure Lucas taking the children was
the right thing to do. The children were well
adjusted, for the most part they accepted their lives as they were, and to uproot them now would be to do them more harm than good.
In the past, she had thought only of Lucasłs happiness,
but her own pregnancy changed her whole way of thinking. Marshałs life
would be devastated if Lucas should take
Daisy and Robin from her, whereas
Lucas, for all that he missed the children, had made a separate life for
himself.

ęYes,ł
she agreed dully, forcing a tight smile.

Marsha gave
her a searching look. ęAre you feeling all right?ł she frowned. ęYou
look a little pale,
andChristi, are you pregnant?Å‚ she said wonderingly.

She raised
stricken eyes, swallowing with difficulty. ęI Ił

ęYou are,ł
Marsha murmured softly. ęLucas must be over the moon ... You havenłt told
him yet,ł she said self-reprovingly as Christi paled even more. ęDonłt
worry, I wonłt say anything to spoil your surprise.ł
She patted Christiłs hand reassuringly. ęYou two were made for each other,ł she
said a little wistfully. ęTo us, the
children were just what held us
together, to you and Lucas they will just be an added bonus.Å‚

If only
that were true, but Lucas had already made his feelings more than plain when
it came to having more children. He didnłt
want any at all just yet, if he ever did!

ęIłm not quite certain about the pregnancy yet,ł she began hesitantly.

Marsha gave
her a teasing look. ęWhat you mean is that you havenłt had it confirmed
yet,ł she mocked lightly. ęMost women are certain before they even get as far as seeing a doctor.ł

She had been certain
for weeks now, had just been putting off the moment it was made official. Because then she would have no choice but to tell Lucas.

ęDonłt
wait too long to tell Lucas,ł Marsha laughed softly. ęI canłt wait to
see his face when he finds out hełs to be a
father- again!Å‚ It was said completely without vindictiveness.

There were
several other things she had to tell Lucas before she even mentioned the possibility that she might be pregnant and, close as they had become since their marriage, she didnłt relish the
idea of telling him she no longer
believed he should try to take Daisy
and Robin away from their mother!

CHAPTER TEN

ęWHEN are you
going to tell Marsha you intend trying to take the children from her?Å‚ Christi asked Lucas steadily, tired of the polite conversation
they had been having since leaving
the other couple, about how happy they seemed together. It seemed
hypocritical when Lucas was poised to shatter that happiness! She was unprepared for the sudden swerving of the car, accompanied by Lucasłs startled exclamation,
and was flung forcefully against the door, bruising
her side. She watched with wide eyes as Lucas pulled the car over to the side of the road after gesturing his apology to the driver in the
car behind for his erratic driving.

An ominous
silence filled the car once he had switched off the engine, despite the
fact that they were in a built-up area of London. Christi gazed at
Lucas apprehensively. The silence became oppressive as Lucas seemed incapable of
speech, until finally Christi couldnłt stand it any longer.

ęLucasł

ęWhat on
earth are you talking about?Å‚ He turned to her
fiercely, her own speech seeming to have triggered his own, his eyes glowing
silver. ęChristi, answer me, damn it!ł he demanded as she hesitated.

She frowned
at his anger. ęI know you havenłt chosen to discuss it with me yet, but
we both know you want Daisy and Robin to come and live with us.Å‚

Lucas became
suddenly still, watching her steadily. ęWe do?ł

ęYes,ł
Christi confirmed impatiently, turning in her seat. ęYou made love to me, married me, so that you could
apply for custody of them.Å‚

He drew in a harsh breath. ęI did?ł

She sighed heavily. ęLucas, talk to
me, donłt keep shutting me out!ł

His mouth
thinned, his nostrils flaring angrily. ęTalk to you? Yes, maybe I should talk
to you,ł he rasped. ęBut, you know,
right now Iłm so angry I donłt think I
can talk in a rational way that would make
sense to either of us! I will say this,ł he grated. ęI married you because I love you, have always loved you, even though I told myself for years
that I didnłt have the right to draw
you into the mess I had already made of my life. One other thing,ł he pushed his car door open forcefully, ęI never, at any
time,ł he spoke precisely, cuttingly, ęconsidered taking Daisy and Robin from
their mother.Å‚

ęButwhere are you going?ł She looked at
him desperately as he swung out of the car
on to the road.

He bent down to look at her, his eyes
bleak. ęIłm going to try and walk the bad
taste out of my mouth,Å‚ he told her harshly.

ęBut

ęDrive yourself home, Christi,ł he added
dully. ęIłm not sure that Iłve ever really known you.ł He shook his
head. ęItłs certain youłve never really known me.ł
He slammed the car door, walking away.

It took her
only seconds to open her own car door and climb out on to the pavement. ęLucas,ł
she called to him as he began to disappear among the people
milling about on the pavement. ęLucas!ł she cried again as he kept right on
walking, the tears starting to fall hotly down her cheeks.

He had gone, disappeared completely
among the people who were now starting to
gaze at her curiously, obviously
wondering what a crying woman was
doing standing beside a car parked in a ęNo Parkingł area.

It was the
latter fact that galvanised her into action. Lucas was gone, swallowed up by the crowd; she couldnłt just
stand here hoping he would come backespecially
when she knew he wasnłt going to do
that! The approaching policeman made her movements all the quicker, for she didnłt relish the idea of
explaining her predicament to a complete stranger.

How she
made the drive back to the apartment she didnłt know; she must have been on ęautomatic pilotł, because when she found herself unlocking
the apartment door she couldnłt remember any of the drive back there.

Even with
the pets milling around for affection, the apartment felt so empty; Lucasłs
presence was everywhereand nowhere. This was his apartment; even after
weeks of sharing it with him, it still didnłt have
her mark upon it, and she suddenly felt like an intruder.

Lucas loved
her. Had always loved her, he said, She had known the affection was there,
but love? He had never told her he loved her; he had
made love to her, then married her, all without the mention of the word love! Would he ever come back? Would he ever give them a chance to have that ętalkł they so desperately
needed to have? Would she ever have the
chance to tell him she was expecting his child? She had been sitting alone in the apartment for some time, only the steady tick of the clock and the purring of the cats to break the silence, when
she heard the key in the door. She sat
up with a jolt, startling Gladys off her lap where she had been taking a
nap.

She stood
up nervously, facing Lucas apprehensively. He looked haggard, his face
pale, as if he hadnłt managed to rid himself of the ębad tasteł in
his mouth.

Then he
looked up at her, and there was a light shining in
his eyes that Christi had never seen before, and as he opened his arms to her
she ran into them gladly, nestling against his chest with a
choked sob.

ęI
hadnłt gone far,ł he spoke huskily, ęwhen I realised that Iłd never told you how I felt about you, how Iłve felt
since the moment you came crashing into my
arms that day so long ago...ł His hands cradled each side of her face as he raised it to look at him. ęI love you, Christi,ł he said gruffly. ęIłve
loved you for so long that youłve
become a part of me I canłt live without.ł

ęI love you, too,ł she cried
unashamedly, the tears hot on her cheeks. ęI love you so much!ł

He nodded
jerkily. ęI know, thatłs why I have the power to hurt you so much. I never
wanted to hurt you, Christi, I was just so busy protecting myself, I
couldnłt do anything else.ł He shook his head
disgustedly. ęI left myself vulnerable once before, my
darling, and I almost had the heart ripped out of me.Å‚

ęBy Marsha,ł she nodded.

ęIndirectly.ł
He frowned, resting his forehead on hers.
ęBy the time we separated, we both knew it had to be or we would end up hating each other instead of just not
loving each other any more,Å‚ he explained
with a heavy sigh. ęBut only one of us could have the children and,
although I hated letting them go, I knew
Marsha should be the one to take them,
that I could stand their loss much better than she ever could. You heard
what she said about her career, about how I
denied her that,ł he reminded huskily. ęWell, it was true. And, because
she didnłt have her career any more, the children became her whole life. If I had tried to take them away from her,
I would have destroyed her completely.Å‚

ęBut now,ł
Christi shook her head, ęnow she has Julian,
and

ęAnd I assured her weeks ago, once and
for all, that I
would never take our children away from her,Å‚ he
interrupted firmly. ęI doubt that legally I ever could have done,
anyway.Å‚

ęBut


ęOh, Iłll admit I was devastated by the
news that another man was going to have a
hand in bringing up my children.ł His mouth twisted wryly. ęSo devastated that I gave into the weakness of allowing myself
to kiss you for the first time.Å‚

The night she had been out to dinner
with Dick Crosby! ęI couldnłt understand what
Marsha was doing there with you that
night,ł she groaned. ęBut I realise
now why you looked so grim when you stepped out of the lift.Å‚

Lucas shook
his head. ęThat had nothing to do with Marsha; she hadnłt even told me she intended marrying then.ł He gave a rueful smile. ęI was
upset at seeing you with Dick Crosby, a man not much younger than me.Å‚

Oh, Dizzy, your plan worked completely!
Christi silently congratulated her friend.

ęFor
years IÅ‚d told myself I was too old for you, that I had to let you have
your own life, your career, friends your own
ageand there you were with a man
only a few years younger than I am!ł he concluded disgustedly. ęBy the
time you got to Kendrick in the list of three
men your friend Dizzy picked out as "suitable" for you, I had
decided that if you wanted an
"older" man in your life it had to be me!Å‚

ęOh,
Lucas!Å‚ She looked up at him lovingly.

He shook his
head. ęI hadnłt meant to kiss you that night you went out with Crosby,
but you seemed to be asking me to, and I had held off for so long!
Afterwards, I could have kicked myself, I was sure I had ruined the friendship
between us.Å‚

She smoothed the anxious frown from between his eyes.

ęAnd I thought you were disgusted by my wanton response,ł
she murmured ruefully.

ęDisgusted!ł
he snorted. ęI wanted to take you then
and there. If you hadnłt got out of my apartment
when you did, I probably would have done,Å‚
he admitted shakily. ęI told myself the best thing to do was forget it,
continue as if nothing had happenedand then
maybe I could learn to live with the
ache that never seemed to leave me! But the night you went out with Barry Robbins I sat in here in a rage of jealousy all night, imagining
what the two of you were doing
together. I lost control when you
actually told me what he did to you!Å‚ Even now he was slightly white
about the lips.

Christi sighed. ęI was searching for a reaction from you,ł she admitted shakily. ęAny reaction!ł

ęWell, you certainly got one,ł he muttered
self-derisively.

ęAnd
I loved every moment of it,Å‚ she told him huskily.

He laughed down at her indulgently, smoothing her
cheek with his thumb-tip. ęYoułre such a baby still,ł
he murmured regretfully. ęI should never have married
you

ęI would never have married anyone else,ł
she cut in firmly. ęOh, I thinkeven though I didnłt at the
time!that you were right to give me those years to
grow up, to let me spread my wings, find my own
friends, be free to enjoy my career. IÅ‚m sure I would be a different type of
person if I hadnłt had those years to grow,ł
she acknowledged softly. ęBut Iłve
always known who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.Å‚

Lucasłs
arms tightened about her. ęI never felt I had the
right to you,ł he said gruffly. ęEven once Iłd asked
you to marry me and you had accepted me, I had my doubts, tried to keep my
distance, to give
you time to back out if you wanted to.Å‚

ęI
thought you had only asked me to marry you that night because wełd just
spent the day with the children and you had
realised how much you were going to hate them having a stepfather

ęOf course I
was feeling it that day, and itłs going to take me
a long time to get used to it. But none of that had anything to do with my
asking you to marry
me.ł He gave a rueful smile. ęOnce I began making love to you, that was
something I could no longer fight.Å‚

ęAnd
children of our own?Å‚ she voiced tentatively.
ęIs it because you already have Daisy and Robin, because youłve been separated from them, that you donłt
want us to have any of our own?Å‚

ęYoułre
only twenty-two, Christi,ł Lucas groaned. ęYou
still have years to give birth in relative safety if you choose to. For now, you have a career that you
still havenłt conquered as I know you would like to. Children of our own can wait,ł he decided firmly.

It wasnłt
that he didnłt want children, he just wanted to give her even more time to
just be herself, allow her the freedom he knew had broken up his marriage to Marsha, when he had been so unreasonable
in not giving her the same freedom! Christi
stepped slightly back from him, taking hold
of his hand to press it gently against her stomach. ęNot this one, Iłm afraid,ł she told him softly, her face radiant with love when he glanced
up at her sharply, only to look down
again dazedly to the place where his hand lay.

ęWhen?ł he finally managed to breathe.

ęIłm
not sure, but I think it was the first night of our honeymoon Lucas
gave a laugh that was half choked emotion, half
indulgent love. ęI meant, when is it due?ł he gently corrected. ęBut I suppose
now I can work that out for myself.ł He shook his head in silent bewilderment. ęIłm going to be a father again in just
over seven months.Å‚

ęIf you think Daisy and Robin will be
upset because Ä™

ęDaisy and
Robin will be delighted,ł he assured her drily. ęIn fact, they canłt
understand why we donłt already have other children now that wełre married,ł he said ruefully.

ęAnd
you?ł She still looked at him anxiously. ęHow do you feel about it?ł

Lucas looked down at her silently for several minutes, and then a blaze of love unlike anything Christi had ever seen
before lit up his face. ęI feel proud, tender, protective, but most of
all I feel love.Å‚ He kissed her gently on the lips.

And that was, after all, all that was
important.

ęQuick, grab her, before she has the
whole lot over!Å‚ Christi warned desperately as her nine-month-old daughter attempted to reach the branches of the Christmas
tree that lit up the corner of the room.

Robin bent down and gently moved his
youngest sister out of harmłs way, getting
down on the floor with her to tickle her tummy. Daisy soon joined in the
game, too.

Lucas
chuckled indulgently as he watched the three children together from across the
room, then glanced up to meet Christiłs gaze,
love flowing between them like an electric current.

The last sixteen months had been filled
with such love, the birth of Shelley nine months ago only increasing their
happiness together. Robin and Daisy openly
adored their new sister, and came to stay with them all as often as they could. Which was quite often: Marsha, secure of their custody now, was
able to let them go because she knew they would always come back. Last
Christmas, the two children had spent the holiday with their mother and Uncle
Julian, but this year Marsha had offered to let them come to Lucas. In fact, the other couple were coming to lunch on Christmas Day! Things could still be a little strained between Lucas and Marsha
at times, but Marshałs happiness with Julian had enabled her to be more forgiving of the
mistakes she and Lucas had both made in the past.

Lucas
crossed the room to join her now, putting his arm
about her shoulders. ęMaybe we should have put
the tree on a table, out of the way,Å‚ he murmured ruefully as Shelley once again
crawled towards the illuminated fir tree.

Christi
bent to scoop her daughter up out of harmłs way. ęNow that she can stand up
and move about the furniture, even that isnłt guaranteed to keep her out of mischief.ł She smiled
down at the dark-haired, grey-eyed imp. ęI
wish everyone could be as happy as we
are, Lucas,Å‚ she added with impulsive happiness.

ęYoułre thinking of David, arenłt you?ł
His arms tightened about her shoulders.

The two men
had become good friends during the last sixteen months and, like
Christi, Lucas felt for
the other manłs loneliness.

She nodded. ęHe
said he was going to see his family for Christmas.Å‚ She shook her
head. ęHełs never mentioned them before; Iłm not sure he was telling the truth.ł

ęWherever he is, Iłm sure hełs all right,ł Lucas assured her softly. ęNow, donłt you
think we should get these children up to bed?Å‚ His
voice lightened indulgently. ęFather
Christmas is going to be here soon,Å‚
he added, just loud enough to throw Robin and Daisy into a frenzy of
excitement, their cries of wanting to
go to bed completely expectedif virtually unheard of before!

ęFather Christmasł
carried all three children up to bed,
Robin on his fatherłs back, a daughter held in each arm.

Christi
followed close behind them. Robin and Daisy might live with their mother most
of the time, but they were hers and Lucasłs, too. They were a complete family, loving and giving. Most of all, loving.










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